《How He Fell》2 4 | f a l l e n
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assessed the scene around her. Rubbing her eyes, she yawned and stretched her limbs as she tried to remember how she got here.
In Maddox's room. With his arm slung around her.
Taking a look outside, she could tell it was still dark and straining her eyes to see the time on the analog clock by the bed, she didn't understand why she was awake at 12:58 a.m.
Thinking long and hard, her night's earlier interactions came rushing back.
"You don't like the way I look."
"I think you're beautiful."
Slapping her hand to her mouth, she held in a gasp trying to process what to make of these incoming thoughts. She squished her cheeks together to stop her flushed cheeks from becoming any redder as she thought back to Maddox almost kissing her. Again.
"I do want to kiss you. But not like this."
"Okay."
"Okay."
Breathing slowly, she turned to look at Maddox sleeping soundly beside her. Staring at him, she trailed a finger along his jawline, basking in the warmth he provided her. Biting her lip in uncertainty, she pressed them together not wanting to let out an excited squeal.
He thought she was beautiful. He wanted to kiss her too.
A small smile graced her features as a feeling of absolute euphoria was brought upon her. Is this what it was like to feel wanted?
Because she never wanted to let this feeling go.
But her dream came crashing down as she felt him tightening his grip on her waist. It became more aggressive and forceful. Soon enough, he started mumbling something which she couldn't decipher. Wincing at the pain, she attempted to wiggle out of his hold, but that only angered him further.
All of a sudden, his eyes shot open as he turned them over so he was glaring at her from above. Her heart stopped beating.
He was choking her.
"Maddox," she attempted to say trying to claw his hands away from her throat.
"Maddox!"
The murderous stare was gone from his eyes as he blinked to come face to face with a terrified Evelyn. Understanding what he had just done, he quickly got off her and rushed to get as far away from the bed as he could.
Shaking his head, he wouldn't dare meet her eyes.
Kneeling on the bed now, she was looking at him in broken fear. He probably mistook it for flat-out fear of him. But she was just scared for him. And his past. The monsters that never left him alone, even in his sleep.
"Maddox," she coaxed, "come back."
Shaking his head, he raised his eyes to meet hers before he quickly walked into the bathroom and slammed the door loudly.
Jumping at the sound, she wondered what just happened.
Not wanting to press any further, she waited on the bed. Sitting and watching with her hands clasped together in worry.
The ticking of the clock is all she heard, otherwise silence would've been the only scream in that room. Finally, her eyes snapped up as she heard the unmistakable sound of the door unlatch before it opened.
Maddox didn't move from the doorway as he looked at her with regret and guilt.
"I'm sorry."
"No. No no no," she said shaking her head. "What's there to be sorry ab—"
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"Stop," he interrupted. She visibly gulped as his unnerving gaze sent a shiver down her spine.
Walking over to his closet, she watched as he took out a comforter and pillow before making his way out of the room.
"Where are you going?"
Stopping at her voice, he shrugged. "Downstairs. I don't think I should sleep next to you. I'm pretty sure I already gave you a bruise around your neck," he said quietly.
"You're not safe around me," he continued.
Hearing his sentence, she scoffed. "You are many things Maddox, but you're not dangerous. Not to me."
But he wouldn't listen as he continued to leave the room.
"Just stay," she whispered to his back. Her plea was left unheard as he disappeared.
Not moving for another five minutes, she slowly slipped back under the bed covers. Curling into a ball, she tried to feel the warmth his body always gave her.
This bed was too big for one. All it did was make someone feel more alone.
2:17 a.m.
An hour and some minutes passed as she gave up on getting a sufficient amount of sleep.
Throwing the covers off herself, she grabbed her pillow before stomping into the hallway and carefully walking downstairs.
As her eyes adjusted to the blackness of the living room, she cautiously continued her way to the couch Maddox lay on. Not wanting to disturb him, she tried to make as less noise as she possibly could. Slipping in beside him, she draped the blanket over her own body before quietly snuggling closer finding comfort in his presence.
Listening to the lack of noise, she took a deep breath as her eyes stared out into nothing in particular. A sigh was heard from beside her. Tensing, she held her breath wanting to seem asleep. Maddox was still awake.
"Go back Evelyn," his determined voice said cutting through the silence.
"No," she snapped back. He sighed once again and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was getting fed up.
"Go. Back. Upstairs. Evelyn," he gritted out in aggravation.
Shaking her head, she grabbed onto the covers tighter. Before she knew it, he was leaned over her with fury blazing deep within his eyes.
"You saw what I did back there. What makes you think that won't happen again?" he angrily questioned. "Go back, Evelyn. I'm not good for you."
They both knew he wasn't just talking about the incident a little while ago. No. He was trying to warn her that he wasn't, in any way, good for her.
"No," she barely managed to whisper.
Staring at her incredulously, he was fuming.
Clearing her throat, she hardened her eyes glaring back at him. Challenging him with her gaze.
"You don't get to tell me what is and isn't good for me. I haven't had my own choice for a while, you do not get to take this away from me. This is my decision," she bit out. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself.
"You're not bad. And you won't do it again," she murmured as she cupped his cheek softly. "I'm not scared of you."
Quietness fell upon them as he leaned his forehead against her, his warm breath hitting her flushed cheeks.
Taking another deep breath, he moved from above her as he collapsed back onto the plush comfiness of the couch. Wrapping an arm around her, he brought her against him before setting a gentle kiss on her collarbone.
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"You're something else," he mumbled.
"I've been alone long enough to know that when you say you want to be alone, it's not anything good."
Nodding his head, he sighed in defeat.
"I'm tired," he sighed staring up at the ceiling blankly.
Turning to face him properly, she brought his face in her hands. Shushing him, she tried to press herself closer to his body, wanting to feel completely beside him.
"I know you are," she whispered in an attempt to calm him. "I know you are. But you don't have to be anymore. I promise I promise you, Maddox," she quietly murmured as a tear fell down her cheek.
She shuffled even closer, not wanting to ever let him go. Nuzzling her head underneath his chin, she landed a soft kiss on his chest. Snaking her arm around him, she tangled her legs with his. As close as they could possibly get for now. She wanted to believe the advice she just gave. Oh how that was all she wished to happen, to take her own words into consideration, but she never believed herself. She was giving him false hope.
Blinking, she let out a strangled sob as a tear trailed down her cheek.
"Don't cry," he breathed wiping a tear from her face. "I'll be okay. We'll be okay. You will be okay. That's something I will make sure of."
Listening to his words, she wanted to agree more than anything. She wanted to believe that she'd be okay. That they'd be okay, but it's hard to believe something that you lost countless days of hope over.
Eventually, it's hard to believe.
"We're too broken Maddox," she said breaking down. "We're too broken by ourselves. We don't have time to help ourselves if we keep trying to save each other. I just want you to stay here and not go. I want you to be here and get married and have kids and grow old with the person you love. But when you're trying to help me, trying to make me happy, you're not worrying about yourself. You're not thinking about how I'll feel when I'm finally okay and you finally leave. I'll shatter worse than I have before. I'll be so trampled. No pieces will be left," she spoke so softly, so delicately.
Her fragile self would collapse too soon.
The tears burst forth spilling down her cheeks in a wave of pain and agony. She could hear her own cries of help, raw as a child crying for their mother. All her feelings were being revealed, falling out in front of Maddox. The breakdown made her feel hollow. Empty. It took something out of her she didn't even know she had left to give. Something so deep within her, she never felt it become less.
Her last call for help.
And it was like someone stole it from her. An injury no one would see. No one would notice.
But Maddox did.
Sitting up, he brought her into his arms. He kissed the back of her hands and then continued to kiss her forehead, temples, cheeks, nose, and chin. He murmured sweet nothings to her quietly, wanting her to know everything he felt.
His lips hovered over hers now. In anticipation, in waiting.
And before he could think any longer, he brought her lips to his. He brought her so close to him, he could feel the heat of her body. The need for each other. Their lips moved in sync. This wasn't a slow, calculated kiss. It was fast-paced, aggressive and something they both had waited for way too long. This was long overdue.
It was a sexual kiss, likely leading to something more. The way Evelyn felt against him, he wondered how he had kept himself away from her lips for so long. Their lips fit like puzzle pieces finally meeting, after what seemed like next to impossible. The way her hands fist into his hair had him groaning in frustration. Because he wanted more.
Finally, after ages, they broke apart. Breathing heavily, Maddox stared into Evelyn's eyes. His were filled with desire and hers seemed to be filled with the same unimaginable need for him to be with her.
"Maddox," she whispered breathlessly. Her eyes flickered down his lips before coming back up to gaze at him with lust. He had to refrain himself from taking her right there and then.
Watching her heated gaze, he smirked in satisfaction.
"Yes Evelyn?" he mockingly murmured as his breath fanned her ear.
Her heart fluttered. Never has she ever loved someone whispering her name as much as she loved him whispering it.
Still catching her breath, she bit her lip as she went in to kiss him again. As his lips caught hers once again, he started turning so they weren't sitting anymore, but instead fell so Evelyn was beneath him. Her hands worked their way to his back, bring him closer as his hands explored every crevice of her body. He broke the kiss as he made his way down to her neck, kissing the soft flesh as she moaned against him.
"I've wanted to do this for a while," he breathed as he left soft kisses down her neck.
His hands traveled further down than his lips though, just above her midriff. He didn't move his hands down more though, not wanting to go too far.
No matter how Evelyn was reacting to his touch, he knew they weren't ready for anything more. She wasn't ready.
He had to be patient and hell he'd be patient as long as he'd have to.
Soon, Evelyn broke the kiss in a sudden hurry. Keeping her hand on his chest to keep some distance, she attempted to catch her breath. Biting her lip, she looked up at him with big eyes. He chuckled a little at her innocent expression.
"You're adorable," he whispered kissing her nose.
She smiled warmly at him before tugging him down so he was next to her. She quickly forced his arms to hug her as she curled up close beside his warm body. They stayed that way for a while, just laying together calmly, not in a rush to do much else. Before long, however, Evelyn spoke up.
"We'll be okay right?"
He hummed in response, kissing her softly on her temple. He hoped that was an answer enough because he wasn't sure if he could lie to her and say it'd be okay. She would be okay.
He wasn't so sure about himself.
☙❦❧
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