《How He Fell》0 0 | m a d d o x
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was frustrated and that feeling was shown in his hard packed punches.
So much anger. So much annoyance. So much pain. And he wasn't sure which feeling trumped the rest. Conflicted, he gave one last punch before collapsing, letting the ground catch him. Lying cluelessly on the floor that contained his blood, sweat, and tears, Maddox felt alone.
But it didn't matter because that feeling was his only comfort because it's been there since the beginning. Loneliness and he were well acquainted. It made sense. Being by his side for as long as Maddox could remember, loneliness was his serenity.
His secret.
Wrapping itself around Maddox like a blanket soaked in ice cold water, it made him shiver in uneasiness. But it's been around him so long, Maddox didn't even know if it was still cold. Because Maddox had gotten used to it. And once you get used to something, you become accustomed to it, to its presence.
You don't feel bothered because it's been there so long.
And as the only noise Maddox could hear was the harsh wind outside, he let Loneliness stay quiet and comfort him, remind him, that he would never be a friend to anyone else. Looking up at the ceiling, the shitty fan spinning above him looked like it was on its last spin.
And if it were to stop, Maddox's heartbeat would too for he made a bet with Loneliness.
Loneliness didn't think Maddox had the guts to leave this world. Maddox disagreed. So they bet that the day the old fan with the peeling paint stopped spinning, Maddox would stop living.
And Loneliness being the conniving, manipulative friend it was, promised to be the one to push Maddox off the edge when that time came. But each day they swore the fan would stop spinning, it'd keep going. Keep pushing through. Past the thick air and humidity, and continue its job to provide some relief to Maddox after a sweat-filled practice.
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And sometimes, Maddox thanked it for not coming to a slow halt. He didn't know why.
But maybe the pain he felt each day after punching without boxing gloves, is what kept him with a little hope.
Because Pain was his guilty pleasure. A feeling pushed into a part of him that he kept away from himself as much as he could. Pain reminded him that Maddox still felt and pain wasn't only felt physically.
For when Maddox packed his bag and made his way home, Pain trailed her sharp nails agonizingly slow down his spine, watching him with discomfort each time.
Telling him that he wasn't going anywhere until he got all the answers and explanations necessary. Pain sneakily distanced Loneliness from Maddox as it slowly drove a bloody line between the two. Because Loneliness was his friend.
But Pain was his salvation.
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