《The Wonderful Wizard of Oz》16. The Magic Art of the Great Humbug
Advertisement
Next morning the Scarecrow said to his friends:
"Congratulate me. I am going to Oz to get my brains at last. When I return I shall be as other men are."
"I have always liked you as you were," said Dorothy simply.
"It is kind of you to like a Scarecrow," he replied. "But surely you will think more of me when you hear the splendid thoughts my new brain is going to turn out." Then he said good-bye to them all in a cheerful voice and went to the Throne Room, where he rapped upon the door.
"Come in," said Oz.
The Scarecrow went in and found the little man sitting down by the window, engaged in deep thought.
"I have come for my brains," remarked the Scarecrow, a little uneasily.
"Oh, yes; sit down in that chair, please," replied Oz. "You must excuse me for taking your head off, but I shall have to do it in order to put your brains in their proper place."
"That's all right," said the Scarecrow. "You are quite welcome to take my head off, as long as it will be a better one when you put it on again."
So the Wizard unfastened his head and emptied out the straw. Then he entered the back room and took up a measure of bran, which he mixed with a great many pins and needles. Having shaken them together thoroughly, he filled the top of the Scarecrow's head with the mixture and stuffed the rest of the space with straw, to hold it in place.
When he had fastened the Scarecrow's head on his body again he said to him, "Hereafter you will be a great man, for I have given you a lot of bran-new brains."
Advertisement
The Scarecrow was both pleased and proud at the fulfillment of his greatest wish, and having thanked Oz warmly he went back to his friends.
Dorothy looked at him curiously. His head was quite bulged out at the top with brains.
"How do you feel?" she asked.
"I feel wise indeed," he answered earnestly. "When I get used to my brains I shall know everything."
"Why are those needles and pins sticking out of your head?" asked the Tin Woodman.
"That is proof that he is sharp," remarked the Lion.
"Well, I must go to Oz and get my heart," said the Woodman. So he walked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.
"Come in," called Oz, and the Woodman entered and said, "I have come for my heart."
"Very well," answered the little man. "But I shall have to cut a hole in your breast, so I can put your heart in the right place. I hope it won't hurt you."
"Oh, no," answered the Woodman. "I shall not feel it at all."
So Oz brought a pair of tinsmith's shears and cut a small, square hole in the left side of the Tin Woodman's breast. Then, going to a chest of drawers, he took out a pretty heart, made entirely of silk and stuffed with sawdust.
"Isn't it a beauty?" he asked.
"It is, indeed!" replied the Woodman, who was greatly pleased. "But is it a kind heart?"
"Oh, very!" answered Oz. He put the heart in the Woodman's breast and then replaced the square of tin, soldering it neatly together where it had been cut.
"There," said he; "now you have a heart that any man might be proud of. I'm sorry I had to put a patch on your breast, but it really couldn't be helped."
Advertisement
"Never mind the patch," exclaimed the happy Woodman. "I am very grateful to you, and shall never forget your kindness."
"Don't speak of it," replied Oz.
Then the Tin Woodman went back to his friends, who wished him every joy on account of his good fortune.
The Lion now walked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.
"Come in," said Oz.
"I have come for my courage," announced the Lion, entering the room.
"Very well," answered the little man; "I will get it for you."
He went to a cupboard and reaching up to a high shelf took down a square green bottle, the contents of which he poured into a green-gold dish, beautifully carved. Placing this before the Cowardly Lion, who sniffed at it as if he did not like it, the Wizard said:
"Drink."
"What is it?" asked the Lion.
"Well," answered Oz, "if it were inside of you, it would be courage. You know, of course, that courage is always inside one; so that this really cannot be called courage until you have swallowed it. Therefore I advise you to drink it as soon as possible."
The Lion hesitated no longer, but drank till the dish was empty.
"How do you feel now?" asked Oz.
"Full of courage," replied the Lion, who went joyfully back to his friends to tell them of his good fortune.
Oz, left to himself, smiled to think of his success in giving the Scarecrow and the Tin Woodman and the Lion exactly what they thought they wanted. "How can I help being a humbug," he said, "when all these people make me do things that everybody knows can't be done? It was easy to make the Scarecrow and the Lion and the Woodman happy, because they imagined I could do anything. But it will take more than imagination to carry Dorothy back to Kansas, and I'm sure I don't know how it can be done."
Advertisement
- In Serial12 Chapters
Arcane Engines: Alchemist’s Scheme
A seemingly chance encounter with an ancient machine and an assassination attempt threaten to disrupt Veil’s education at the premier mage academy of Ithalaan. The bombings and terrorist actions that follow throw the entire region into chaos and draw him inexorably deeper into a mystery involving cults, gods, and ancient mysterious races. These events threaten Veil’s carefully crafted plans, but there are few limits on his ambition. He is willing to do whatever it takes to advance his schemes to become a Magus, including pursuing the illegal discipline of soul magic. While Veil isn’t a powerful mage yet, his spell wrought guns and illicit abilities will help even the playing field. The need to face down his enemies and fulfill his ambitions will send him desperately searching from Forerunner ruins in the Great Northern Forest to ancient abyssal cities within the depths of the planet. _________________________________________________________________ The book is primarily fantasy with a steampunk background. Science fiction elements won't be introduced for quite some time. I currently update my work at a rate of one chapter per week. I'm also in the process of editing chapters 1 - 7, changing the format to make it more readable, and introducing more show and less tell. The reworked chapters will have (edited) after the title. All chapters after 8 have already been written in the new style. I have a Patreon page if you wish to donate. Also, there will be intense situations, some explicit violence, and although it is not an erotic work, one or two sex scenes.
8 154 - In Serial9 Chapters
Petmaster Evolutions
This is a story about an ordinary earthling that sees the impossible and because of that gets kidnapped and introduced the the system called Odyssey which infects planets with mana to create monsters. This story will follow his journey through his trials. I do not believe in overpowered so I will not allow the MC to get to god mode. Since I started writing, the story has evolved some from chapter 1 on through as some stuff just did not make sense and in my mind the story has become clearer. Eventually I will have to go back and edit the beginning chapters to match the rest of the story but I do not have time at the moment. I will update as often as possible but I work full time, school full time, and have a 18 month old and an infant. I make no promises on time between new chapters. Honestly I did not expect people to follow the story and I just wanted to write for the fun of it and to see how the story that was running around in my head came out. I appreciate all of you who take the time to read my story and help me make it better by pointing out any mistakes I make. The only editing and proofreading I manage to do is the word app Grammarly so I miss things sometimes.
8 65 - In Serial12 Chapters
Dead Reckoning
[A Sci-fi Fantasy story with Space Pirates, Necromancers, Zombies, and anti-hero lead.] Karla Elwis has to pay the bills somehow. Fuel isn't free. The problem is when you're a necromancer not too many of the living want to hang out. She's on a trek across the stars looking for her brother and that isn't cheap either. The Valraiths are in the habit of pressganging anyone they run across to man their ships, and that's just what happened to him. It was either work in the reactor room or take a plasma blast to the head. Karla doesn't know where the space pirates went, but she doesn't need to interrogate them. Once they're dead, they'll tell her everything she needs to know. Now she just has to follow the trail of broken ships and looted bodies floating through space. The only problem is the one thing people like less than pirates are necromancers
8 82 - In Serial79 Chapters
Dog Days in a Leashed World
Life is not easy at the bottom of the food chain. And in the Kingdoms of Magica, the absolute bottom belongs without question to the puppy-like lowbie zone trash known as mongrels. Born to an unfinished zone with only bored, murderous outpost guards for neighbors, the lives of these fluffy balls of hapless nuisance are short, dull, and deeply confused. Because after all: What's the point of a mob that no one can be bothered to hunt, in a zone utterly lacking in reasons to visit, in a game that was already the height of trash fantasy nonsense? Well it may not be much, but it's their life, dammit. And if Shh, the mongrel bearing the questionable distinction of smartest pup in his pack, has anything to say about it, they won't be on the bottom forever. Because that's the silver lining of being on the bottom: the only way left to go is up.
8 70 - In Serial10 Chapters
Drowning is a Relief
SHORT STORYTrapped in a run-down house, a hard enduring workload and by an abusive husband, Bubbles tells herself that it's alright everyday.But it isn't, or that's what Boomer thinks upon their encounter in the park during the first time she's ever been let outside since 3 years.The feeling is mutual, but she doesn't declare it.Because she can't.She's broken, she's tired and she hurts inside and out.Boomer is a kindhearted officer, will he be able to help Bubbles with the mere time they have together when he patrols the park? Will he be able to save her from her husband?
8 111 - In Serial100 Chapters
Riddles WITH ANSWERS ❣️
Over 98K views and 1K votes, y'all! TYSM!! >;3*DISCLAIMER*These aren't mine. I found most of them online. :)The pic belongs to yandere-woman on DeviantArt.Enjoy, peeps!!'Shortie :P'
8 168

