Testing Fate

Part 22

*Justin’s POV*

“Thank you,” I said as the waiter handed both Selena and I our menu at the restaurant that I took her out to.

“Is this place new? I haven’t been here before,” she said looking down at her menu.

“Kind of. It’s been here for a month or so. It’s pretty good, but the best part is how unknown it is,” I nodded setting my menu down already knowing what I was getting.

She nodded and placed her menu down, folded up in front of her.

“We need to talk,” we both said at the same time.

“You first,” we both said together again.

“No seriously you go first,” I said leaning back in my seat waiting to hear what she had to say.

She took a long, deep breath and looking around the building avoiding eye contact with me at all cost before she began to talk. “I know I haven’t been myself lately. With everything that’s been going on it’s hard. Loosing….Brayden,” she whispered shutting her eyes tight, “was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been though. I wasted 5 years. 5 years that I could have spent making him the happiest, most loved boy alive, but I didn’t. I wasted them. I gave them to someone else as if they didn’t even matter to me.”

I watched as she ran her hand though her hair as she talked, waiting to see the point in all this.

“I know I’m kind of rambling now but what I’m trying to say is I wasn’t the mother I should have been to him. I will never make that mistake again and I want to right my wrongs.”

“What are you trying to say Selena?” I asked sitting up in my chair a little it as I leaned closer into the table.

“I want us to have another baby,” she said looking me dead in the eyes.

I sat there staring at her, searching for some sign that said she was kidding but I came in blank.

How could she want to replace Brayden so quickly?

Before I could open my mouth to say even a word, the waiter appeared to take out orders.

“I’ll take a steak with mashed potatoes,” I said trying my best not to look at Selena.

She ordered a burger and a side salad.

“So?” she said burning a hole into my head from looking at me so hard.

“No,” I said in a low voice.

“What? Why?” she squealed.

“I’m not talking about this here Selena,” I said sternly.

“You said you wanted more kids with me in the hospital the other day, why is it different now?” she said rising her voice.

“Maybe because we just lost a child Selena,” I said loudly before taking a deep breath to calm myself down. “I’m not talking about this anymore so just drop it. I mean it Selena.”

*Selena's POV*

The rest of the dinner was mostly silent due to the fact that just didn't want to talk about having a baby, which I found absurd.

After Justin paid for our meals, we got into the car. The whole ride no one said a word and I couldn't help but think about why Justin wouldn't want to have a baby with me. Was he thinking of leaving me again because now Brayden wasn't here so he felt no more obligation to be with me? Did he just not want to have kids with me because he thinks they will die again? Was I not good enough to have his child?

My thought process was cut short when the engine of the car was shut off and we were sitting outside of my house.

I got out of the car, closing the door behind me. To my surprise Justin followed behind me.

"Are you staying here tonight?" I finally spoke despite the fact that it felt weird after hearing nothing for so long.

"I don't think so," he said quietly, awkwardly standing in the entryway.

I nodded my head and set my bag on the table not really knowing what to say or do.

"Selena look," he finally spoke, "I've been thinking a lot about the baby thing and I know I said we would have a baby but I just don't think it's the time. I mean we just lose Brayden we need time to greave. We can't just replace him that easy. I know that your hurt but this isn't the way to get over it. We will get though it together. I promise."

"I'm not trying to replace him, Justin. I'm not that heartless. He was my son too. You we're there when I had to give him away to the social worker okay? I was."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about that anymore cause it was in the past?" He bit back.

"It still happened Justin!"

"Fine, I'll make you a deal," he said crossing his arms over his chest.

"What kind of deal?" I asked.

"We can have a baby if you marry," he said with a smirk.

I licked my lips before smiling softly. "Looks like we won't be having a baby," I said before walking away.

"What?" Justin said in shock.

"I don't want to get married so I'll just have to find some other way to get my baby," I shrugged.

"You don't want to marry me?" Justin spoke jumping in front if me causing me to stop in my tracks.

"No, I don't," I said unashamed.

"Am I that bad?" He asked.

"It's not you, I just don't believe in marriage. I don't think it lasts especially in our Industry and I just think it's unless," I answered honestly walking away again.