After months of regrouping and trying to get over the little damper in my life , i have finally felt some what put together..key word somewhat.

I didn't talk to the girls for a few days after the trip, I ended up leaving early and going to Bella's house. I couldn't talk to them after what they did. I know they thought that what they were doing was right but it ended up hurting me more. But I relised that I needed them more than I thought even if they made a stupid mistake.

I haven't heard from Justin at all, he's been seen with a lot of girls, and is doing alot of promo for his new album. So he seems fine.

My single The heart wants what it wants came out recently and I was asked to perform it at the AMA's. Justin will be there. This is the first time i would be performing on an award show. When my first album came out I performed on Ellen and The tonight show. But never award shows. So this will be crazy. And emotional, so emotional. I also have a movie coming out with Selena called Spring Breakers. I will play the part of Candy, a long side Ashley Benson and James Franco! I'm also on the cover of cosmo like damn I'm so busy its like I have no time. But I'm grateful because when I'm busy I don't have time to get all up in my head. We start filming in a few weeks and then i have my shoot for cosmo, and there's talk about going tour soon.

"Alright Kylie, I'll call you if anything new pops up, but I'll see you on Thursday?"

"Okay, yup see you Thursday!"

I got off the phone with my manager, finishing up an email to some people who will be working on Spring Breakers. I had the Cosmo shoot on Thursday and started the filming for the movie the week after. Then in between there is the AMA's. I called Selena asking her what time she wouldn't to grab lunch. Then went to go take a shower. This is going to be a long week.

Thursday

I entered the building, meeting Bella and her mom, we went to the space were we would be shooting, I met everybody there and boy were they sweet. I was so excited all I could feel were good vibes. I went straight to hair and makeup then to wardrobe of course face timing Kendall who was in Africa writing a piece on clean drinking water for family's in need. My sister is like mother Theresa. After many exhausting hours of posing and getting my groove on I was able to go home! I texted the girls asking if any of them wanted to come over, they said they were at a party, they asked if I wanted to come I declined saying I was tired and was going to lay low. I just wasn't into the party thing right now. Plus I have the AMA's on Sunday, that I'm having major anxiety about. I want this performance to be emotional and something people can connect spirituality with. Not only is this song, a song that literally explains everything in my life right now, but a song that can explain others lives as well. I'm putting out the music video tomorrow. The video by itself was so heavy and raw, I had such a hard time filming it. But in the end it was amazing so I can't complain. I grabbed my phone opening instagram, giving the fans a sneak peak.

Caption: sneak peak ((

Sunday

After days or preparation it was finally time for the biggest moment of my life. And probably the most embarrassing because I probably won't be able to get through the song without becoming a blubbering mess. Let's just hope I don't run into Justin at all because then that would be the death of me.