I honestly love Justin. And surprisingly not in a romantic sense. But to contradict myself, classic Grace, I could probably see myself marrying him, of course that won't happen, but in theory... Anyways, getting back to it, he's my best friend. I doubt he can say the same, he's got so many people in his life but I can assure you I don't fly under the radar to him. I know he cares about me and thinks about me a lot. If it weren't true, I wouldn't hang out with him or text him. Carrying a dead conversation is my pet hate and I refuse to be that girl. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But for some reason, this just does.

I still haven't gone a day with out interacting with him in some sense, whether it be in person or via text and I've seen him a total of 6 times in the week and a half I've been here. Of course I have that lingering concern in the back of my mind telling me that this is merely an 'ad break' let's say, from the usually average and shitty life I usually deal with. Like deadpool yeah? See atm, we have had no problems. Yes, we banter and fuck with each other non stop, but I see that as healthy idk. It's fun and it's us and it's just the way we get along. Needless to say, you all know how I feel about relationships. Trust is hard to gain and frankly, Justin's gained mine too quickly. I never seen a relationship last long and I've always been afraid of that happening to me. FUCKING LOOK AT BRANGELINA.

I know I don't want a boyfriend right now. And as much as I wish I wasn't in this state of mine, I don't want anything sexual either. I KNOW I KNOW, what the FUCK kinda drugs am I on, right?! But think of it like this, it's gonna end 1 of 2 ways. Either we have sex and it's gets too weird for us to hang out and I die. Or it doesn't get weird and we get caught as a friends with benefits fling and I'm know as the girl who fucked JB and I won't be able to hang out with him and then I die. Point is, either way, I die. There are the facts, people, they're right in front of your face. You can't argue with science, I'm sorry.

But things are fine now. I have only been spotted with justin when wearing a cap and sunglasses so no one knows who I am. That's another thing I'm dreading, if I'm planning on furthering my relationship with Justin, the world knowing who I am is bound to be inevitable, is it not? So take a minute to look back at all of Justin's past female friends/ lovers. 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

JB fans shall dig you bc:

•You can sing

•You can song write

•You've got a killer fashion sense

•You've got a wicked sense of humour

•You're not too shabby with ur makeup n shit

•You can brew a mean cuppa Joe

•You play volleyball and surf

•You play guitar, drums and piano

•You can solve a Rubik's cube in less than a minute

•You can rap look at me now like a boss

•You can memorise lyrics like a hi-5 song

•You make your own money and hardly scan off your parents

•To contradict lol, you're parents have hella cool jobs and work with celebs every single day

Okay that's not that bad. Now why won't they like you?

JB fans shall fucking want to rip your throat out bc:

•You are friends with Justin

•You have a vagina

aaaaaaaand they basically over rule everything in the other list....

Oh fuck it, you know what? I'm going to get hate either way and I love Justin too much to just fuck him over now. Let's just do this demo shit and see where it gets me. If I release a few songs before I come out as JBs friend, they'll like me as an artist first. And if they hate me then so be it.

In the words of Elsa: let the storm rage ONNNNNNNN

•••

Surprise update because I didn't want to realise this as just a chapter by itself bc it's boring and shit lol