I awoke to a constant annoying noise. It seemed to never stop. As I opened my eyes, doctors and nurses rushed in. I was pushed away from Jessie, shoved out of her room and into the arms if Jeremy.

"What's going on?" The chaos of everything left me clueless. . But I knew exactly what happened. Jessie had flatlined.. I stood at the opened door and witnessed something that I've only ever seen in a dramatic movie. After all my begging and pleading for her to wake up and stay had failed. I had failed Jessie.. I even failed Jeremy.. My knees buckled as realization hit me. Jessie's heart was no longer beating and there wasn't a single thing that could be done to save her. "Jessie!" Was all I heard myself scream before everything went blank.

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Dear Jessie,

It's been 5 days since you past, and the first 3 days I felt nothing. I just passed my way through the days without you. I felt completely fine. But yesterday was your funereal, and being there with your family and friends, I realized you were gone. You were gone and you weren't coming back, I'm not exactly sure what to do with myself now.. I miss you.

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Dear Jessie,

It's been 2 weeks without you and things have yet to get any better. Last night was the only night I could actually sleep, and the only reason I managed that was because I had taken sleeping medicine and drowned myself in alcohol until I forgot why I was even crying. I really meant when I said I couldn't handle this without you, I need you more now than ever.. I should of tried harder to actually reach out to you.. To actually talk to you, but I was too stubborn and now it's too late. I miss you Jessie, and I'm sorry..

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Dear Jessie,

It's been a month and a half, and your brother tried his hardest to reach out to me everyday. Him and Bailey keep trying to get me to talk to someone but I don't want to seem any more pathetic than what I already am. Letting this heartbreak bring me down.. Control me the way that it is.. I avoid everyone, I pretend every amount of happiness to your brother and our friends.. I just miss you and want to be with you again. I'm sorry for everything Jessie, I just miss you..

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Dear Jessie,

It's been 4 months since you've been gone, 4 months since I last held onto you in hopes of you waking up and coming back to me. Yet, I've yet to move on. I've spent my sleepless nights in the arms of other women, none that could ever compare as to being in your arms. My lonely nights sort with companions I could hardly even develop the slightest bit of feelings for. Honesty I'm not sure why I find myself doing this, I suppose it's better than being alone and letting the guilt of all this eat me alive. I miss you Jessie..

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Dear Jessie,

It's been half a year without you.. Half a year I've been going around blaming myself entirely for what I caused. If I would've just made you stay, told you that you were the most important person in this world to me.. Maybe you'd be here right now, in my arms. Planning our future together, or making stupid little jokes to each other. I miss your cute little love notes, your lip bite, and your beautiful eyes that made me fall for you instantly. I miss you Jessie, and I don't think I can't handle this without you anymore.

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Dear Jessie,

It's been 9 months since I've lost you. 4 months since I've lost contact with your brother. I've gotten rid of my phone so no one could get in contact with me, I drove my car until it ran out of has and ditched it on some old highway. I remembered how you wanted to travel, to get as far away as possible. And I'm doing that exact thing now. I'm sorry I let you down, the reason you're gone is entirely all my fault. I should've been a better person, showed you that I loved you more than what I did. I miss you more than ever and I can't stand the sight of myself. It should be me that's gone, not you.. I miss you..

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Dear Jessie,

It's a year to this day since you've gotten in your wreck, and I'm on my way home. I've made a plan on what to do with my last day. I drove all night and watched the sun rise this morning, for a minute I could feel you in the passenger seat with me. I'll visit Jeremy and Bailey, I heard Bailey is pregnant and I know you would've love to witness that. I'm sorry I made you miss out on all of this. I can't take this pain much more, and I can't wait to see you again. I miss you, Jessie.. I can't wait to be with you again.

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My eyes shot open, I was sitting on Jessie's lap. Back in her bedroom, the night that I first kissed her..

What?

Jessie's jade eyes stared into mine lost and confused.

"Are you ok?" Her eyebrows furrowed together. I couldn't help but to contain my emotions. I sobbed in her arms.

"What's wrong, Taylor?"

"Is this real? Is this real right now?"

"Uh.. Yea? I would think this is real right now." I knew I was only confusing her but I could feel my heart aching. What did I just witness? The future? A second chance? What happened.

I felt Jessie's soft hands wipe the sorrow from my eyes. I couldn't help but the smile. If I actually chose to be with her would all of that happen again? Or would I stick true to my words and treat her right this time around?

I cupped Jessie's cheeks and observed the bright jade green I had missed for so long.

"I pretty sure I love you Jessie, I want to be with you. I want to try this and I want to try it the right way. I'm never going to hurt you. And everyday I'll make you feel like you're loved. Ok?"

I saw nothing but confusion in her eyes, she didn't see what I see. She wasn't given the second chance I had. But I was definitely going to stick to my word.

I pulled her into me and kissed her passionately. Kissed her like I haven't been able to for a year.

"I love you."

Even though I messed up with us, I learned from my mistakes. Just know I'll always love you.

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