In the morning, I woke alone. The room was pitch black, and I moved cautiously towards the beam of light coming from under the door. I cringed at the soreness between my legs, reminding me of my new status. No more a maiden, raped by a Viking, I could never be a wife in my world. I was now and forever a whore in my kinsmen’s eyes.

Pulling the wooden panel ajar I managed to locate and light the candle. I didn’t like what it revealed: there was blood on the sheet and on my thighs. Feeling dirty inside and out, I wrapped in a blanket, grabbed my clothes and stormed to the bath house, brushing off a startled Aidan.

There was no warm water waiting this time, but I didn’t care. Gritting my teeth to hold the tears, I washed repeatedly, scrubbing my skin from him until it was bright red. Once dressed, I returned to the longhouse, the blanket on my head shielding me from the pouring rain.

Aidan greeted me, politely forgiving my rude behavior. I apologized and sat in front of him, while he served me a big bowl of soup and bread.

“Take your time to eat, Jarl Einarr will stay here today, the weather is too bad. You will be able to rest and heal.”

“I am a slave, am I not supposed to work hard?” I asked, surprised.

“You are a bedslave, you will be given only light duties. Your owner won’t want you to have rough hands or be exhausted when with him. And you have nothing to do here, it is my task.”

I stared at him with sudden interest:

“How did you become a slave, Aidan?”

He averted his haze, fixing a spot on the wall:

“I was born the third son of a poor farmer, and his sixth child. When I reached my fifth year, my father gave me to a monastery as an oblate, an offering to God for the remission of his sins. My life was good there. The monks taught me how to read and count, and treated me well. I didn’t enter the Holy Orders, but I remained there as a servant, until the Vikings attacked.

They slaughtered many brothers, pillaged the library and the church. It was chaos, there was so much blood… I gathered the servants and we fought, supporting the few guards we had. My pitchfork found its target once or twice, doing little damage through the chainmail. Then I received a blow to the head and lost consciousness. I woke up tied up and was dragged onto a longship with other survivors. Jarl Gilli bought me and here I am. It was ten years ago…”

I nodded respectfully.

“Is this Jarl Gilli’s house then?”

“Aye, I take care of it for him. He doesn’t live here all year, but visits regularly. This house is used to accommodate important guests. When he comes here, I am the cook,” he added proudly.

I smiled at him:

“I understand why, this soup is delicious. Is Jarl Einarr here often?”

“Aye, he stops in Barra on his way to and from his raids. He is great friends with my master. They have an agreement for the housing of his men when they come.”

With little efforts, I learned that the raiders were split between the houses of the small village and the Mead Hall for sleeping arrangements, and that the other girls were kept in the trading huts close to the beach.

I wondered if I could go and visit them. I must have been speaking my thoughts as Aidan answered:

“I can guide you later, if the rain stops.”

Nodding, I finished my bowl and handed it back to him. He placed it in a bucket and brought me my collar.

“Your master will not be pleased if you don’t wear it.”

Reluctantly I turned and lifted my hair, giving him access to my neck. I shuddered as the cold metal touched my skin, making me feel trapped again. I had to do something, keep active to prevent my thoughts from wallowing in self-pity.

“Can you give me what I need to wash my clothes? My spare smock and dress are drenched in sea water and will be ruined if I don’t rinse them.”

He led me to the back of the house, towards a large half-barrel. Giving me soap and a bucket, he lifted a flat stone from a line of identical ones, running across the width of the room. Below it was a small stream of clear water, and he pointed to it.

“This was diverted from the river that flows further up the coast. It goes under the bath house, then here, and last cleans the latrines before getting back to the sea. It is very ingenious. You can use it to fill the tub.”

I admired the installation, so simple and yet so practical. No need for strenuous trips to the well or the river.

Collecting my wet garb, carelessly thrown by the servants in a corner of the bedroom, I did my best to clean it. I brushed and rinsed the heavy soaked fabric, throwing hot stones from the hearth into the water to heat it.

Aidan watched me with an amused expression, before offering his help to wring.

“What were you doing before Jarl Einarr caught you? Your hands are soft and you clearly have never done this.”

I looked down at my feet, embarrassed.

“I was a lady, my father is a thane. Is my inexperience so obvious? I have seen the servants wash the clothes many a time, I thought I was doing well.”

“You did great for a first try.”

He paused a moment, and added:

“If your father is a thane, why did Jarl Einarr enslave you instead of holding you for ransom? It would surely be more beneficial to him, your value as a hostage is higher than what he could ever sell you for as a thrall.”

I sighed.

“It’s… complicated. I insulted him at a banquet, and my father had to negotiate with him. This is the deal they agreed on.”

Aidan watched me pensively.

“You insulted him publicly and yet you live… That’s… unusual, to say the least. You were a maiden until last night, I’ve seen the sheets.”

I blushed and lowered my gaze.

“I sleep here, you know, I cannot help but hear everything. At each visit, he picks a slave to service him. He doesn’t harm them, yet never cares for them; he takes what he wants, and discards them. But you… he treated you well.”

Shaking my head, I protested:

“He gave me no choice, I made a promise…”

Aidan only smiled, choosing not to push the matter further.

Having hung my clothes to dry in the sweat room, I followed Aidan through the village, admiring the cleanliness and the neat lines of the streets. The rain had ceased, and a ray of sunlight peeked through the clouds. The air was crisp, and the wind still strong, but the storm was rapidly going away.

A few children were already out playing, their mothers seated beside the doors at their looms. Slaves and servants cleaned the stables, carrying buckets of water and bales of straw. Fishermen were busy mending and folding their nets. No one paid us much attention as we walked out, following the narrow beach to the trading huts.

Low stone walls marked two rectangles, one occupied by the ship’s tent. The carved extremities of four crisscrossed poles emerged from the red and white wool, above the front and the back opening.

We entered and stilled. In my naivety, I hadn’t anticipated the presence of some members of the crew. Of course the girls were guarded! They were valuables.

Aidan bowed low and I didn’t. I wouldn’t show them respect. I didn’t fear them; they couldn’t touch me. He elbowed me lightly but I wouldn’t yield. The men laughed and talked to him. I ignored them. My attention was focused on the bottom of the tent, where my kinswomen sat, holding each other and terrified.

I recognized them; they had picked the prettiest maidens available. The youngest was four and ten, the eldest my age. They were staring at me in hope; I was their Lady, they expected me to protect them. If only they knew…

Guiltily, I lowered my head. Not only was I powerless, but at least two of them were there by my own fault.

“We have to leave Sunngifu,” Aidan whispered, “the men say that we are not allowed here. They won’t let you approach them.”

I nodded, defeated and somewhat relieved. What could I tell them? They should hate me for my actions.

Back to the house I sat on the bench and cried, unable to hold the tears in any longer. What had I done?

Aidan put a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.

“You should go and rest, you may not sleep much tonight. I have to start cooking for the banquet that will start at dusk, and it’s already past noon.”

I turned around to face him:

“I’d rather be busy. Can I help you in anything?”

He smiled kindly:

“You can try. Regrets don’t help Sunngifu, I would know…”

His hands wiped my cheeks and I weakly returned his smile.

And then a voice bellowed behind us:

“Are you seducing my slave?”