《The Artist & The Q.B.》Ch. 40
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After saying goodbye to Kevin we leave for the airport and board the plan. "I need a drink." I say, as soon as I sit down.
"Nope."
I roll my eyes, "This nonexistent baby is ruining my life." I grumble.
I look over as Truex bring out a baby book that it looks like he's already a quarter of the way through. I shake my head and glance at Mya and Easton, who are talking quietly with each other. As the plane starts to take off down the runway I grip the armrests and wait for the plane to right itself. When I open my eyes, I see Easton smirking at Truex with him open book and now I see a highlighter being used to score any information it looks like he may need for a later date.
"What are you doing?" I ask, as he highlights another section of the book.
"Reading."
"Studying more like." Easton, comments.
"Big test coming up in women studies?" I ask, smirking.
"Hum. I've already read one of these books, I didn't know ninety-nine percent of the stuff that happens from conception to delivery, it's crazy. You won't want to read all of it. It will freak you out. So, I'm going through and highlighting only the stuff you need to know."
"Freak me out." I ask, concerned.
"Yes."
"Like what?"
He shakes his head. "If I tell you, you'll refuse to have unprotected sex with me again."
I laugh. "It can't be that bad."
He looks over at me, "I'm not saying a word."
I motion for the book and he refuses. "I'm not done yet."
"Give me the one you read already." I order, knowing it has to be bad.
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"No, that one was way too shocking." He refuses.
"Truex! I'll starting googling. Give me the book." I threaten.
Mya must of taken the initiative to look up some important facts about babies because she says, "Babies, Urinate inside the womb!"
"What! I didn't know that." I reply. Nasty.
"And they drink it." She shivers.
"Oh great. Thats not something I need to know." I state, wincing at the thought.
"Did you know your uterus starts as big a small peach and stretches to the size of a watermelon. Thats 500 times the original size." She reads off, stunned.
"Oh, wow. One in every 2000 babies are born with teeth!" Easton comments, amazed.
"Okay, enough." I say, not wanting to hear anything else.
"The biggest baby recorded was in Seville, Ohio at 22 pounds. Oh, no. Ohio! Thats a sign. Your baby is going to be huge." Mya says, cringing and smiling at the same time, totally messing with me and loving every minute of it.
"Mya, stop." Truex demands, unamused.
"How big were you when you were born?" I ask, him hesitantly.
"Not 22 pounds." He assures me.
I look at Mya, "Mya." Truex, warns.
"I think he was 11 pounds." Mya answers, truthfully.
"11 pounds! No, way. Not going to happen. We're wrapping it up from now on." I say, throwing my hands up. This is not going to be okay. Thats way too big! Nope, not making a baby.
"Thanks, Mya." Truex states, closing his book.
Easton laughs, "How big were you?" He asks, me curiosity.
"7 pounds. I can't carry a 11 pound monster. I'm not built for that." I state, worriedly. "How did your mom do that? She's not even that big?" I point out, baffled.
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"Oh, she has the stretch marks. Trust me, she complains about them all the time." Mya adds, earning another glare from Truex.
"We cannot have kids together. What we're we thinking. You need to produce with an Amazonian woman." I tell him, terrified. "Easton, you couldn't have pointed that out?" I ask, angrily. Blaming him for everything, what can I say it just feels good to do it.
"What does it have to do with me?" He asks, shocked.
"You commented about how our kids would be ugly and have cloven hooves. You couldn't mention that they'd tear me apart too?" I question, disappointed.
"You're blaming me for your failed eyesight. He's huge, what did you expect?" He asks, smirking.
"Yes, you should've told me!" I shout, not letting him off the hook.
He laughs. "You're becoming as insane as Truex." He stops laughing and looks at Mya alarmed. "Oh, my God. Its sexually transmitted." He states, eerily his eyes big and round.
I punch his arm, trying hard not to laugh but failing when Mya erupts in laughter. "Not, funny. You can't compare me to him." I say, pointing at Truex.
"You just blamed me for the size of your unborn child. At least he doesn't hold me responsible for that." He counters.
"A child that might not even exist." Mya smirks, amused.
I shrug, "If I have a baby and its a pound over the standard 7, I'll seek revenge." I glare at him.
He chuckles, "I didn't do it!"
"I know you didn't! But you didn't warn me! So its your fault!"
He throws back his head laughing while I pout, knowing he's not to blame but not caring. I refuse to blame myself, when he easily could've mentioned it when he was making fun of our future children. Now, I could be giving birth to a pee drink ink , 11 pound chuck monster.
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