"It feels like you are"

Penny looked at me with sort of saddened eyes before his whole face shifted into anger once again.

"Don't ever disappear like that ever again" he said as his eyes fell onto my barely noticeable bulge on my belly.

"Okay" I whispered as I kept my eyes on him.

Penny then turned around preparing to leave me alone once again when a sudden voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

Both of our heads snapped towards the direction of the voice. We had both heard it clear as day.

"Lola?" The familiar voice called out.

I felt my whole body go into a shocking numbness when my eyes fell upon Rebeca's petite figure. My mouth went completely dry and I could feel myself on the verge of fainting.

I heard Penny growl, an all too familiar sound. I suddenly felt all the feeling come back in my body and my fingertips exploded with emotion as I lunged myself towards Rebeca before Penny could.

I felt as we both hit the ground, myself on top her. I made sure to cover her whole belly, afraid of what Penny would do.

Penny's large hands grasped at my shirt trying to tug me away from her as I screamed and pleaded for him to stop.

"Penny please!

"Don't do this!"

"Not her!"

It's as if he had completely blocked my voice from his head as he continued to ignore me. After a couple seconds he was able to successfully pull me off of Rebeca. I flailed in his arms trying to get out his grip and back to Rebeca.

Penny let go of me and I shut my eyes ready for the fall that never came. My eyes opened after a second of not feeling myself hit the ground.

The first thing I saw was Rebeca's widened eyes as she looked at me in disbelief. I looked down at the rest of my body and realized I was floating mid air. I looked at Penny as he continued to make his way towards Rebeca who was completely distracted by my situation.

I had never seen Penny do this. I don't know if he was able to do this all along but never did, or if it was something that came within extreme measures.

I struggled against the invisible grip that held me hostage mid air but to no avail, I was not set free.

"Penny!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I saw his large hands pick Rebeca's body up effortlessly. I could see Rebeca crying as Penny's sharp teeth began to appear right in front of her face.

"I will hate you" I stammered out as a last effort.

"I will pull these damn lights out of my body and end myself" I said with a croaky voice. I felt my head drop as it hung low, looking down towards the big gap between me and the floor.

"You will wake up to nothing" I said. Every single word hurting me more than it hurt him. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it.

"I'll end it all" I said one last time as I forced myself to look at Penny who had stopped midway from eating Rebeca's face off. He turned to look at me, anger in his eyes, but even I knew there was sadness and hurt in them as well.

I saw as every single one of his fingers unclasped themselves from Rebeca's arms. I tried reaching out before Rebeca could fall but was surprised to see her floating as well. Penny then made his way towards the middle of us.

The three of us stayed in place for what felt like forever. Penny looking out into the lair, completely zoned out.

Suddenly he fell onto his knees, completely exhausted. He looked up at me, despair in his eyes. Almost as he was saying goodbye.

This is it

This was it

"Penny" I sobbed out. The situation being too much for me to handle. I tried to fight against the air in order to be set free.

"Lola!"

"Lola!"

I could hear Rebeca screaming for me but I ignored her as I saw Penny get up and began to make his way towards the crevice where his body would rest.

No

No

Not now

"PENNY!" I continued to scream but all he would do is continue to walk into his long rest. The hold against me was my worst enemy, something I would always have a grudge against.

I could physically see Penny growing weaker and more tired as he made his way closer to his resting spot. I felt myself be completely drained in tears as I cried out loudly. I wasn't surprised if cops and a whole swat team came to investigate.

Suddenly I felt something warm trickle down my leg. This was the first time my eyes departed from Penny as I looked down at my body to investigate.

Blood

I looked up and saw Penny look at me for the first time since calling out for him. He looked at me with this deep sadness in his eyes. The moment his eyes met mine I knew exactly what had happened.

I could hear myself screaming

Screaming no

But I couldn't feel myself doing it.

I had lost the baby

This is why Penny was so uncomfortable whenever I brought up the pregnancy.

He knew

He knew all along

"Lola!" I heard Rebeca yell out and for the first time I looked at her since this ordeal.

She was looking down at my legs, stained in scarlet ribbon. Her eyes looked towards Penny and then me multiple times.

I saw her begin to cry as she looked down at her belly, making sure it was still there. The only noise filling the air was the sound of crying and desperation. I turned to look at Penny one last time before he disappeared into the dark crevice, knowing I wouldn't see him for what felt like an eternity.

He turned to look at me before he made his way into the crevice. This wasn't the way I had imagined we would part ways. I didn't think it would be this stressful. I wanted it to be beautiful, like a fairy tale, but I knew deep down that those sort of things don't exist, it would never exist for me.

Penny's eyes were a beautiful shade of blue, a shade of blue I had never seen before. In that moment, in that sad moment, I really wish I was blind.

I would have rather been blind than to see Penny leave. Leave me physically and emotionally.

I wanted to be blind.

Oh I how I wished I was blind.

"Penny" I whispered, the exhaustion taking over my body. Our eyes met for the last time, every blink feeling like an eternity I yearned for. I would stay like this forever if I could.

I suddenly felt myself lower onto the ground and I wasted no time running towards Penny who had already made his way into the crevice.

His body laid gently, he looked so fragile, the complete opposite of what he was.

My knees caved in as I made it to him. I began to sob as I grabbed onto his large hands with my small ones. It felt like I was dying, and in that moment I wish I was.

Penny turned to look at me, every movement he made seemed excruciatingly painful for him. His blue eyes dove into mine, the last time I'd see that beautiful shade, and maybe it wouldn't be forever

But it felt like it was

You really don't know what you have until it is gone

"I love you" I heard him say so quietly and so weak. The way his lips moved around each letter. It should have been impossible for me to hear him, but I heard him.

I heard him as clear as day

Before I could respond, my lips parted and completely dry, I saw his eyes close shut gently.

I was the last thing he saw.

I held onto his hands as I cried aggressively. I didn't want to let go. I wanted to lay next to him and sleep next to him for as long as it took for him to come back. I didn't want to go out there and continue life without him.

I couldn't do it

I wish.

I wish I would've told him how much I loved him. How much he meant to me. How I loved every little detail about him.

How the sound of his bells brought comfort. How I noticed his makeup always stayed in place, how soft his silk suit was against my skin.

How I remembered how he struggled with my stubbornness. How I felt the first time I met him, the first time I kissed him. The day he blessed me with those golden lights that I now carried within me everywhere I went.

The way we made love above my balcony. The way his large hands felt against my skin. The way I craved him when he wasn't with me those lonely nights.

The carnival. I remember it all. The way he smelled like hot cocoa after finding out how much I loved it. The way he struggled dipping Oreos in milk. The time I made him shower.

The first time he told me loved me and the last.

Every single conversation we had. Every single joke we shared.

Even every single argument.

Oh how I wished I would've told him that I remembered it all.

Time was always against me.

A constant punishment.

But he had closed his eyes.

For what felt like forever.

Everything stopped moving. Like it happened in those movies when something dramatic happened. I thought those moments didn't exist. I thought they were made up to exaggerate an emotion or situation.

But today

Right now

Was living proof that those moments did exist.

And it felt worse in person.