Somebody else- the 1975

I laid awake in bed trying not to grow impatient. I wanted Penny to be here but when it came to him, I never knew when he'd come or not. I sat up in excitement when I heard the familiar sound of bells.

Penny stood at the edge of my bed, looking at me with his calm blue eyes. He looked tired. I felt my heart sink at the realization, his sleep was coming soon.

"Almost?" I said fighting back tears as I looked at him with sadness. He looked back at me, blinking slowly. He didn't have to answer me, I already knew. I felt it in the air.

"You need to feed" he said slowly as he crawled over to me. He picked me up, sitting me on his lap. The usual routine of the lights went on, my body filling with complete bliss but it didn't feel good like the other times. It didn't feel right.

After his face returned to normal, I realized how close we were.

"What will happen to me?" I asked, trying to stop my voice from shaking. He looked at me, his eyes filled with emotions.

"You will stay still, time won't touch you, you'll always stay my porcelain doll" he said as I felt his hands wrap around my back. The way he spoke was filled with sadness, making me grow more nervous.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I felt tears begin to brim my eyes. This was a conversation I didn't want to have, not now, not ever.

"Will I see you again?" I asked as slow tears slipped down my pink cheeks. I was trying not to cry, but my whole body ached at the thought. The feeling and fear of his leaving was heavier and more painful than the heartbreak I had endured.

I wanted to explode into tears, into water, and sink into his silk suit to dry and stay with him forever. I wanted to be the ornaments on his suit, the make up on his face, the gloves on his hands, just to be with him forever. To never leave his side.

"You will see me, I'll be a memory, a remanence" he said with a heavy voice. I wanted to hold onto him, latch on forever. I wanted to go into the deep sleep with him so that I wouldn't have to be without him. I didn't want to be alive and breathing, walking on the earth knowing he wasn't watching me from a storm drain or from a corner in my room.

"Take me with you" I said as I wiped the tears off my plump cheeks. He looked at me, impatience and sorrow in his dusty blue eyes.

"Lola" he said, almost in a scolding manner. I knew it was impossible. I knew the answer but I didn't want to let go. I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"Soon?" I cried, the tears coming down like an opened dam. My heart was doomed for pain. It always was. The look he gave me was enough to make my heart break.

Soon.

I hadn't realized how tightly I was gripping his shoulders, tension running through my body. The tears silently fell and I couldn't force myself to make eye contact with him. I didn't want to see the broken version of myself reflecting off of them. The color of sky.

"Make me forget" I said, biting my lip harshly to stop my voice from cracking. I wanted to forget. I knew he had the power to do so. I'd rather forget all about him, in order to continue moving forward because even a distant memory of him was too vibrant in my mind. Too vibrant in my soul.

He slid me off his lap, setting me on the bed. I gripped onto his suit, too afraid to let go.

"Please" I said as my head fell forwards, the tears becoming overwhelming. My hand was shaking as I continued to cry. I felt his hand force my head up, forcing me to face him. I looked at him with swollen eyes.

"My porcelain doll" he said.

My heart fluttered at his words. It was like I had already lost him. Like he was already gone and I was just experiencing an illusion. I crawled over him, embracing him in a hug. I felt his long arms wrap around me tightly. He held me tightly, and I knew this was really happening.

He held me a little too tightly.

I didn't know when he'd be back, or how. I didn't know what I would feed or if I would die before he came.

Time will not touch you. His words lingered in my head. I wanted to break the riddle. I first thought he meant I was immortal, that I wouldn't age, but that's impossible..right?

Penny held me against his chest as he laid down. I made him take me to the hill. The same hill above that carnival we had visited that night, but I didn't want to go into the colorful atmosphere. I wanted to look at it from above the deadly hill. I wanted my last memories there to be that one night that I thought was the beginning of us. The beginning of happiness. The beginning of everything and eternity.

Penny laid on the grass that blew softly against the wind. I was laying on top of him, legs on either side of his torso, the same way a mother would hold her newborn child. My head rested above his chest, hearing his faint heartbeat. Even his heart felt and sounded slower, like he was slowly gravitating towards the end. I didn't want to listen to it, but it was a sound I wanted to remember. A sign that he was alive and breathing when he held me close all those lonely nights.

I looked up, letting the wind blow my hair softly. I looked over the edge, down at the old carnival. It was quiet, only the sound of leaves from trees rustling in the distance. The day was slightly gloomy, a perfect symbolism for my heart. For our hearts.

I turned to look at Penny, his eyes already fixated on me. He looked deep in concentration, pain illuminating in his blue eyes.

He looked afraid.

Afraid.

It was a sensation he had never felt so strongly before. His heart wanted to race against his chest but it couldn't. He was looking at the one thing he had ever felt different towards to. The fights and anger. The sadness and pleasure. All mixed into one beautiful creature that laid gently on top of his body. The small human he didn't feel the urge to kill. He had created havoc onto this heart, felt it and desired for it. The winter surrounded her, but the atmosphere around her was warm, like a warm summer day. That season. Those days. Those days you walk through town, just to get an ice cream cone. Those long swims in the quarry. The sounds of bicycles riding by, children laughing, full of adventures. The summer loves and the fall heartbreaks, just like she had experienced.

She was that.

She was warmth.

She was his summer.

He was afraid. Afraid of how natural peoples lives were around her. The way people fell in love innocently. The way summer fell against her skin and how it made her feel. He was cold, cold but lovely. He was her sadness and pain, but deep down she knew it was worth it. So she held onto that, trying not to let go. He was the rain and storms, the wind and lightning. His blue eyes, so blue, like the puddles that formed on the small sidewalks. The ones she always avoided but found herself jumping into lately.

He was cold.

He was her winter.

The sound of laughter and smiling echoes would dance throughout the town. Pearly whites catching her attention as she made her way into the local grocer or her favorite coffee stop. Her heart would wander, red dress slipped over her soft skin. Birthmarks on her collarbone, and innocent brown eyes shaping her face. He would introduce himself, make her heart subside from the constant loss and pain she felt just for a split second. But that split second would be enough for her.

Or she would meet a leathered jacket, drinking coffee in an old and dimly lit diner. Eyes locked as the sound of bells hit the door as she entered. Bells. But not the same bells on his suit. So she would look back, already wronging for acknowledging his presence. She would look away, not trying to get sucked in. But those eyes, oh my darling those eyes wouldn't fool anyone. She would miss the contact, look for him in anyone she could. Look for the blue eyes, look for the soft silk, look for the dominance and warmth. But she would never find it, so she would never stop looking. But everyone grows tired, weak from the search. She would hold tightly onto them, scaring them away. She would be a mess, such a beautiful mess. Bottles everywhere, feeling empty like every single one of them that laid on the floor. But not her floor.

But it was inevitable.

The pain, the anger and sadness. All inevitable. And there was so many scenarios. Too many to fathom. She would fall into the wrong bottle of liquor.. one way or another.

It was inevitable.

Just like his sleep.

"Are you okay" I asked as Penny continued to stare at my face, obvious he wasn't with me. He slowly made his way back into reality. He looked happy to have been pulled out of his daydream. It must have not been a good one. Full of fears and sadness, and I knew that because I felt it too.

"You're tired" he said sensing my weakness and heavy eyelids. I hadn't realized how comfortable I had gotten on top of his chest and I felt myself growing sleepy.

Penny stood up, holding me against him like that one night at the carnival. I held on tight, feeling every sensation I could. I felt the familiar soft silk, the way he breathed slowly and deeply. The low grunts emerging from within his chest, almost accidental.

I let my eyes close, not wanting to speak, just wanting to soak in the moment. The same way I wanted to soak into his suit, to stay there forever, a part of him. He walked and walked and walked, and I just wanted him to continue to walk. To walk forever with me in his arms and I on his chest.

I felt the familiar sheets of the bed as he laid me down gently. I opened my eyes slowly, looking back into his ocean ones, but not even the ocean held deep secrets like his eyes. Penny laid next to me, feeling the warmth radiating from his body. I was facing him, not wanting to close my eyes, wanting him to be the last thing I saw before I left this earth. But I wasn't the one who was leaving.

No it wasn't me.

"Sleep" he said softly, the words barely escaping his wine lips. I wanted to cry, to cry my lungs and heart out. I didn't know when he'd be gone. It could he any day, but every minute felt like the last.

They felt threatening.

My eyes began to close, his face fading into a blurry darkness. The day had began to grow dark, the sound of wind prominent against the curtains in the room.

Finally my eyes closed, fear still deeply rooted in my heart.

Because for all I knew

This would be the last time I ever saw him

The last time I saw those blue eyes. The last time I saw his amber hair, filled with energy. The last time I saw his crackled white skin, and his red lips. The last time I felt his large hands touch my skin, leaving goosebumps like a tattoo. The last time.

The last time.

The last day

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If you noticed the awesome new book cover for storm drains, then I want to give a HUGE shoutout to Midnight_wolf19 for the amazing text cover! Original painting was made by @pennyrice on Tumblr! Super talented! Thank you so much!