Old money- Lana Del Rey

I sat in the taxi cab, staring out the window. Every 5 minutes I would see a red balloon and I knew it was Penny's doing. His last attempt to stop me from leaving.

I stepped out of the car and reached for my luggage in the trunk. I looked down at my phone and read the multiple messages Rebecca had left.

"Running late! Be there soon xoxo" -Rebeca. That was the last message she had sent.

I sighed as I realized I'd have to be alone for a bit at the airport. I walked into the busy building as I looked around for a bench to sit on. Once I found one, I began to type away on my phone before I slowly tilted my head up. There in the center of the airport, was a red balloon with my name on it. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed it but nobody did. I knew I was the only who could see it. My eyes filled with tears as I remembered how sad and broken Penny looked when I had last seen him. I felt heartless.

"Hey!" I heard a familiar voice yell towards my direction. I looked at the source of the sound and realized it was Rebecca. We hugged and gathered our things and began the airport process. We were to meet the rest of the girls at the terminal.

The rest of the morning went without seeing another balloon. I guess Penny had given up. I sighed in relief as I wouldn't have to feel that heart wrenching pain every time I saw the red balloon.

"Are you excited?" Anna asked as she nudged my shoulder. We were now waiting in line to board the plane.

"Of course" I said trying to sound happy but deep down I felt sad.

"It's going to be fun!" Anna responded before handing her passport to the flight attendant. I handed mine right after and looked behind me one more time. My body froze in shock as I saw Penny standing in the center of the terminal. People walked past him and I realized once again, that I was the only one who could see him. He was looking at me with anger and sadness. A mix of emotions. Yet there he stood, tall and silent, staring right into my soul.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had finally arrived at the airport in London. It was bigger than our airport and a lot busier

due to the larger crowd, but even in such a busy atmosphere, I still felt lonelier than ever. I looked around trying to spot a red balloon or any sign on Penny, but I knew he wasn't here.

"You good?" Rebecca asked as she pulled her luggage behind her. I nodded silently with a weak smile as we continued on our way. Anna and Christina were in a deep conversation walking ahead of us.

I was silent the whole way to the hotel. It was barely 7:24 am here and the baby shower would be in a couple days. We were only going to be here for a week but I knew it would feel like an eternity.

The weather was gloomy but nothing like I hadn't seen before in Derry. I felt my heart ache at the thought of Penny. A week felt like forever but I knew I had to do this. I was still human, I wasn't him. I couldn't stay in one place forever by his side. I had a life before him, people before him.

The first couple of days in London consisted of a lot of touring and meeting Rebecca's family. It was fun but my mind kept wandering off elsewhere.

It kept wondering onto penny.

"So what are you gonna wear?" Christina asked me, trying to make me join the conversation they were having. We were siting down at a cute cafe, having lunch.

"Something warm" I joked as we laughed.

"Miss anyone in particular?" Christina asked jokingly as she wiggled her eyebrows.

My heart wrenched at the question but I played it off with a small smile and a wave of my hand.

"No" I lied as I felt my heart ache.

"Wow" I said as I looked up at the tall building. The hotel Rebecca had chosen was beautiful. The baby shower was going to be held here, so Rebecca thought it would be fun if we spent the night in the hotel, allowing the rest of us to get insanely drunk without worrying about the drive home.

"I wish Penny was here to see this" I thought to myself. I mentally scolded myself for thinking of Penny. I was here to a have good time.

So then why wasn't I happy?

"This will be your room" Rebecca said handing me my room key. I took the key into my hand, feeling the cold metal against my skin. I smiled at her before heading my way into my room. I knew they noticed I was off, but I couldn't help it. Every time I closed my eyes, I would see penny's face before I shut the door on him.

I walked in sighing heavily. I sat my luggage down and fell onto the bed. I closed my eyes, and images of Penny flashed before me. I clenched my jaw tight to stop myself from crying. What if he got hurt while I was gone? What if he went into his long rest while I was gone and that's why he kept telling me not to go? I felt panic cripple up my body at all the negative alternatives this trip could cost me.

A sudden knock on the door startled my thoughts. I got up slowly as I made my way the door. I looked through the peephole and realized it was Rebecca.

"Hey, just wanted to let you know that the baby shower starts in 2 hours" she warned kindly.

"I'll be ready" I said with a soft smile before closing the door.

I hopped in the shower, imagining all the stress from the day slip down the drain I stepped out and got ready for the party. I didn't feel so enthusiastic as I should have, and I felt guilty. I should be happy for Rebecca and not in a sour mood. This was her day, and I was ruining it with my sadness.

I rolled my eyes at myself as I picked up my purse and made my way out the door. I saw all the girls standing at the end of the hotel corridor, waiting for me.

"Hey" I said with a huge smile, forcing myself to think happy thoughts. Rebecca hooked her arm onto mine and we made our way into the elevator.

The whole walk to Rebecca's baby shower was pure laughter and joy. I felt a bit happier and my mood began to pick up. I didn't want to feel sad anymore.

"Okay okay! My gift next!" Christina yelled enthusiastically.

Rebecca was already opening gifts and some of us were a little bit too tipsy. Especially Christina.

"Take a picture mom" Rebecca said sweetly as she smiled for the camera her mom was holding. She held the cute gift Christina had gotten her as the camera flashed.

After a few more hours of gift opening and silly games, most of the guests had cleared out. Christina giggled continuously in the corner of the room, drunk.

"Had a little too much fun huh" Rebecca chuckled as she nudged my shoulder referring to Christina's drunken state. I laughed back softly in response.

"So.. how are you holding up?" She asked, making the atmosphere grow serious.

"What do you mean?" I asked still laughing at Christina's mishaps, completely oblivious to what Rebecca was about to ask me.

"Norman?" She said slowly. My face suddenly fell at the sound of his name.

"I'm fine" I whispered looking straight ahead, no emotion in my voice. The tension in the room grew between Rebecca and I, making it obvious I was not comfortable with the question.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask before, I didn't want to trigger anything" she said quietly, making sure nobody heard us. I looked back at her, anger prominent in my face.

"You already did" I said getting up as I made my way to the door.

"Lola, wait!" I heard Rebecca call behind me. I sighed heavily, turning around to face her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset or uncomfortable I was just worried" she explained as she caught up to me.

My face softened at her words. I understood her concern, and I had no right to be mad at her. She didn't know what had happened. She didn't know about Penny.

"No it's fine, I overreacted" I said.

"It's a touchy subject" I continued.

Rebecca nodded signaling she understood. She rubbed my arm as she gave me a warm smile.

"I'm gonna go catch some rest" I said as I waved goodbye to her and everyone else in the room.

I caught a cab and made my way to the hotel, reading the address from the text Rebecca had sent me.

"Thank you" I thanked the driver before heading up the stairs. I walked down the center of the beautiful hotel lobby, making my way towards the elevator.

Suddenly I felt a huge wave of emotion run throughout my chest. I looked down confused, dropping my phone and keys in the process. I felt my chest fill with warmth and butterflies. My breathing began to quicken at the strong sensation. And just like that it was gone.

I picked up my phone and keys, still in complete shock at what I had just felt.

"Ma'm are you okay?" A random stranger asked me as they placed their hand on my back, trying to guide me towards the elevator safely.

"I'm fine thanks" I said as I took their hand off my back. I smiled at them weakly as I continued to walk into the elevator. I pressed my floor number as I let my back rest against the wall. I closed my eyes and sighed in exhaustion.

What the hell was that?

I trudged into my room, flopping onto the bed immediately after. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off.

"You're losing him" I heard a voice say in my head before I knocked out right after.

I jumped up, gasping for air as I felt my chest burning intensely. I looked down at and realized it was glowing.

"Shit shit shit" I said ripping open my blouse. The skin was hot to the touch and I felt myself began to panic. I ran into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

The lights in my chest glowed so immensely, they gleamed against the glass, almost blinding me. I stumbled back and fell into the tub, pulling the curtain with me. I gripped the sides of the tub with my hands as I let the burning sensation run its course.

"Please stop" I whimpered as I clenched my jaw in pain. Soon the pain began to reside and I felt myself began to breathe normally again. I slowly got up from the tub and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked so tired and weak. I was starving.

Without hesitation, I ripped open my suitcase and stuffed it with everything I had brought with me on this trip. A trip that I never should have taken in the first place.

I changed into comfortable clothing as I collected the rest of my items.

Penny was right. It wasn't safe. I needed to be with him. And I just wanted to be with him. Only him.

I grabbed my phone and keys and practically bolted out the door. I ran down the corridor and it felt as if I was running in slow motion. Tears filled my eyes just imagining Penny holding me in his arms. I was so stupid for leaving him.

I pulled the nearest cab and rushed the driver to the airport. I held back tears the whole ride there, it felt like an eternity.

I slammed the car door shut and ran through the airport, running to the closest place I could buy a ticket back home. My chest felt weird and I knew it would begin to glow at any second if I didn't hurry up.

I ran up to the desk, out of breath.

"I need a ticket back to Derry Maine, United States, as soon as possible. It's an emergency" I stammered as I threw the lady my credit card. I was desperate to get home and had no time for small talk.

"The soonest one is at 10:30 pm" she said a little worried at my behavior. I looked at my watch only to realize it was barely 7:00 pm.

"Oh cmon there has to be one sooner"

I said pleading with the lady.

She looked at me hesitantly before nodding.

"You must go now, hurry! Plane is now boarding" she said as she quickly handed me the paperwork.

"Thank you so much!" I said before jogging down to security, trying to rush through the whole process.

I ran all the way to the terminal, not stopping to breathe at all. I felt tears brim my eyes as I saw the entrance of the plane. I sighed in relief as I handed the flight attendant my passport and ticket.

I quickly made my way into the plane, sitting down immediately. I shifted in my seat impatiently. Soon, the plane began to fly into the air and I felt my chest begin to relax.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm my nerves.

I regulated my breathing, and I felt myself begin to fall asleep. All I could think of was getting home safely.

All I wanted was to see Penny.

I woke up right as the plane landed. I rubbed my eyes groggily and checked the time.

6:45pm

If always astonished me how different time zones were.

I yawned as I stretched out my arms and legs. I looked around and saw some people were still fast asleep. After the pilot announced the proper rules on exiting the plane, I grabbed my purse and headed out of the plane. I speed walked throughout the airport. It was a faster checkout, based on how small it was.

I grabbed my luggage and pulled it behind me as I searched for a cab. The airport was rather busy today.

After about half an hour of searching, I was able to call one. I quickly placed my luggage in the trunk and made myself comfortable in the passenger seat. I shook my leg impatiently and the cab driver gave me a curious look.

"Excited to see someone?" He asked innocently as I shook my head and gave him a tight smile. The rest of the ride went without conversation, and I'm glad it did. I was too nervous to speak.

My heart stammered against my chest as we turned the corner onto my street. I could see my apartment complex and it took everything in me not to jump out of the cab right then and there.

After an antagonizing 2 minutes, we reached the front of my apartments. I thanked the cab driver and pulled the luggage from the trunk. I quickly made my way into the warm and familiar atmosphere and headed towards the elevator. I pressed the button to my floor an unnecessary amount of times as I bit my lip in anguish.

*ding* the elevator rang as it opened up its doors. For once, I slowly walked towards my apartment. I felt my whole body shake in anxiety as I turned the door knob.

I walked inside, taking in the homely scents. I slammed down my luggage before making my way towards my bedroom. I opened it up with a smile on my face that suddenly turned into a frown.

"Penny?" I called out as I realized my house was empty. I felt sadness in my heart but quickly shook it off, trying not to ruin my mood.

An idea popped in my head and I found myself running out the door once again. I ran into the cold air and down the street.

It was now dark outside and my eyes tried adjusting to the blackness, but I knew exactly where I was heading.

I ran up the old stairs and into the old home in Neibolt St.

I turned a sharp corner and found myself face to face with the same bedroom door from the previous nights. I held my breath as I slowly opened the door.

I sighed in relief as I saw penny's silhouette in the dark.

"You're back" he said quietly. My knees almost gave in at the sound of his voice. I didn't respond and instead ran towards him, just wanting to crash into his arms and cry.

I was taken by surprise when I felt Penny's hand push me back. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion at his lack of affection.

"Penny?" I asked trying to reach out to him, but he only moved out of my reach.

"I'm sorry, you don't know how sorry I am" I stammered.

"But I'm back, I came running back to you like you knew I would" I said softly.

"I'm here now" I said as I bit my lip trying not to cry.

"No" he said

"Penny" I responded trying to inch closer to him.

"You need to go" he growled at me.

"But I'm here now" I whispered, hurting inside from his words.

"You still left" he said as he looked at me. His eyes were orange and I knew he was upset. He hadn't called me 'doll' once since I got here, something he always did, even when upset. I tried shaking the worry feeling off my body.

"Penny please" I said.

"I just want you to hold me" I whimpered as Penny looked at me deeply with his eyes.

Suddenly his eyes shot up towards the door behind me as we both heard a soft creak. I turned around slowly trying to locate the source of the noise.

"Penny" I heard a female voice say.

"I couldn't sleep" she said as she appeared through the door.

There standing in the dimly lit dark, was a girl around my height and age. She had fire hair, just like Penny's and her eyes were a piercing green. She looked as fragile as she spoke.

I looked back at Penny in confusion and hurt.

"Penny.." I said.

"Who is she?" I asked as tears brimmed my eyes heavily.