13 beaches- Lana del Rey

So I'm going to be adding a music video above^ for almost every chapter. It'll be the inspiration or song that I was thinking of when I wrote the chapter. I'll update the rest of the book with the songs so you can all go back and take a look at them. Not every chapter will have a song but I think it'll help set the mood when reading the chapters xoxo (sorry if the songs aren't your type of music genre)

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I sat in silence in my room trying to distract myself before I went crazy. I hadn't seen Penny in almost 2 months and my worries got bigger everyday.

I tried telling myself that everything was going to be okay but I just couldn't do it. I know he would visit me when I slept because my wound would be clean and dry every time I woke up. The wound was now healed which meant he didn't stop by at all anymore. I felt unsafe, and vulnerable without him here.

"Where are you" I said quietly as I laid in my bed. The tv played in the background as the room filled with anxiousness. My hair was everywhere and I felt like a mess. A beautiful mess.

"Missing children have been reported-" I began to hear a voice coming from the tv. I sat up quickly as my eyes widened at the images on the screen.

"No" I said as I scrambled out of bed making my way to the tv. I raised the volume as I felt my mouth fall open.

"A total of 12 kids have gone missing in the midst of 2 months and cops are yet to find any evidence to connect these disappearances to the previous ones that have happened." the reporter said.

"It seems to be a pattern and this leads the police to believe it is an act of one cruel human being" she continued. I scoffed at the word human being. Penny was a damn monster, I had warned him, he betrayed me.

I heard bells jingle behind me and I quickly turned my head to see Penny standing in the doorway.

"What did you do!?" I asked as I rushed towards him smacking him multiple times on his chest. Tears ran down my face as I screamed at him in full sobs.

"What did you do what did you do!?" I kept asking him as he let me continue to hit him. I finally got tired and fell onto my knees as my hands dragged down his body. I stared at the floor as the tears kept coming.

"How could you?" I asked quietly as he stood still above me, not saying a single word. This only caused my to grow angrier. I looked up at him with a swollen face from all the crying as I struggled to speak.

"I hate you, I hate you so much" I lied as he looked at me with shock and anger.

"We're done, this is done, you're done" I said as I got up, trying to close the door on him. He immediately pushed the door the opposite way, opening it up completely.

"Don't say that" he growled as he tried to get a hold of me. I instantly pushed away and backed up into my room. I wiped the tears off my face aggressively as I stared right into his eyes. All my fear was replaced with anger. He walked past me and towards the tv. He then turned to it with the reporter still talking about the children, and with one swift movement, he slammed into it with his hand making the whole screen shatter and go blank. He looked back at me with a stern look.

"I was growing weak" he began to say before I cut him off.

"I don't give a fuck!" I yelled at him, pretty sure the neighbors could hear.

"You promised!" I snapped at him, my body filling with sadness. I could taste the bitter words in my mouth. The same mouth he had kissed.

"Leave" I said weakly as I tried regaining my composure. He didn't budge and I felt myself growing angry. He growled in response trying to scare me but all it did was piss me off even more.

"You ain't gonna do shit to me and you know it, so just make this easier and LEAVE" I said trying to sound demanding.

He looked at me with a weird look I couldn't explain. He tried reaching out for me once more but decided against it as he retracted his arm back. I stood there shaking from all the crying. I looked up to see him again but realized he had completely disappeared. I stood there shocked and hurt at the events that had just occurred. My heart broke as I realized I would probably never see him ever again. I backed up against the wall and began to hyperventilate from all the panic my body was beginning to feel. I closed my eyes as I tried to relax, and regulate my breathing. After a few minutes, I felt myself grow tired and began to drift off, falling asleep on the floor.

I woke up with my full body aching. I had fallen asleep on the floor and my body had been in an uncomfortable position for I don't know how many hours. My room was now pitch black. I looked at the clock that read 1:34am. I grabbed my head as I felt a pounding headache and began to lift myself up. My mind suddenly began to remember the fight I had had with Penny hours prior. I felt my heart ache and began to grow nauseous. I immediately ran into the restroom and laid my head above the toilet. After waiting for nothing to come out, I sat up and washed my face instead. I trudged into my bedroom, not wanting to be alone. The room felt so empty and I knew he was gone.

I looked at the broken tv and sighed heavily. My eyes slowly made their way into my closet and I saw my rain boots placed nicely on the floor. I made my way to them and softly slipped them on. Soon I had my rain coat on and I was headed out the door. I decided to talk a walk to stop myself from sitting alone in my house, heart broken.

I continued down the dark and quiet sidewalk, not caring about the consequences this late night walk could induce. My stare was blank as I looked into the darkness, continuing to take steps forward. I looked to my right and noticed the thick and dark woods. Without a second thought, I crossed the street, making my way towards them.

I walked into them, not feeling anything but desperation to get lost. I wanted to get lost. My eyes filled with tears as I remembered everything I had done with Penny. I felt so broken that he had broken his promise. I kept walking in further not worried about the risks I was taking. My eyes squinted as I realized colorful lights coming from the far end of the woods. A carnival.

A sudden break of a branch made my head snap to the back of the woods. I stayed still trying to hear anything else. I felt myself began to breathe again when I didn't hear anything but before I could relax, another sound of a branch cracking made my heart race with fear again.

"Hello?" I asked calmly trying not to panic. When I didn't get an answer, I began to slowly back up, keeping my eyes on the dark trees where I heard the noises coming from.

A tree shook roughly and that was enough to send me running deep into the woods. More animal like noises followed and I didn't dare look back in fear of what I would see. My legs ached and my lungs burned as I continued to run. My body told me to stop but my mind screamed at me to continue running. I saw the lights of the carnival grow brighter and I felt hope as I reached for them. I was about to make it before I felt myself slip and fall into a deep hole.

I kept falling and I looked up expecting to see moonlight, but instead I saw glowing eyes. My heart froze when I realized they were penny's eyes. My body slammed onto the hard floor and pain shot through my whole body. I reached for my head and instantly felt warm liquid pouring out. My vision began to blur and my body felt as if it was floating underwater. I kept telling myself not to close my eyes because I knew I would die, but I felt so weak and I couldn't fight it. Images of my family and childhood flashed before my eyes. This is what people meant when they said your whole life flashed before your eyes before you died. I saw Norman and Derek. I saw my friends and I saw myself. I saw myself sitting in the tub as Penny poured water on me the way he did that night. I saw him sitting in the corner of my room watching me sleep. I saw him holding me that night Norman tried attacking me. I saw him kiss me. I saw him make love to me. I saw everything.

I smiled softly at the images before my body began to grown numb, but I could feel my heart fully. I felt my heart flutter at the mere image of Penny. I felt myself begin to float and soon all I saw was darkness. And just like that

I was gone...

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