White mustang- Lana del Rey

"Its not you its me" Norman's words bounced off the walls of my head causing my heart and head to ache simultaneously.

"how could you?" I asked to no one in particular. The silence in my room with the exception of the wind blowing outside like a child throwing a tantrum was the only response I received.

I had tried wiping the heavily salted tears off my face but to no solution, they kept coming and instead gave up on wiping them with my now soaked long sleeve.

My heart ache was such a disastrous pain. A pain that I knew very well wasn't physical but felt more real than anything. I sucked in a long heavy breath and exhaled slowly and low as my head pounded from all the crying, this pain was physical.

I sighed standing up from my duvet coated bed and made my way to the window. Staring out into the beautiful suburban neighborhood and all its Halloween decorations. Fall used to be my favorite season and now it felt as if it will always be a dark marked season of a constant reminder of such heart break. The sunset settled into a gloomy blue/grey making my room appear darker than it already was. I blinked away tears as a I focused my attention to the opposite side of my room where all the dark corners were as a constant reminder of how lonely I felt. It almost felt as if they were mocking me, taunting my feelings of loneliness and the small hope that lingered in me that one day someone would love me purely but that hope seemed to be fading and instead was replaced with a lack of spark that was needed in order to feel it again. And that's when I saw it.

At first my swollen eyes didn't adjust to the tall dark shadow that gloomed in my bedroom corner. But without a doubt there it was. My breath hitched in my throat and I tried not making any sudden movements in fear of whatever the shadow consisted of might attack me. Suddenly it spoke. A child like voice with a lisp that seemed the complete opposite of the horrific shape and size of the shadow it portrayed.

"hello there Lolita" the voice spoke as the bare fact of whatever it was knew my name and it made me shake to the core. Suddenly the mysterious shadow stepped out from under the darkness into my now dimly lit room. A clown. A clown with baby like features in comparison to its intimidating height. It's smile was sinister, almost teasing. The tall and lanky character took another step forward and it was now that I had noticed the sudden ring of bells his suit made with every movement the clown made. It was almost as if it wanted to me to fall into his playful character with that cheesy smile and little gimmicks. My nose was suddenly filled with pleasant scents of that of a carnival. Cotton candy, popcorn, hotdogs and more treats. My mouth began to water at the mere thought of them. The scent was that strong.

The clown chuckled showing a pair of baby bunny teeth and it almost made him seem less intimidating until I looked into his eyes. Those eyes screamed violence. They were an abnormal shade of yellow. The shade was pleasant to look at but the emotions and intent behind them weren't.

"why are you so sad my Lolita" he mocked as he gave me a cheesy smile. His eyes didn't match this smile. One was filled with anger and violence while the other wasn't . Suddenly I remembered my heart ache and I didn't seem to fear the clown as I did the first time I laid eyes on him. He seemed to have noticed as he took long stride steps towards me and before I could inhale, he was already mere inches from my face. His warm breath smelled sweet as it fanned my face while he spoke.

"That little boy broke your heart" he said more as a statement than a question. He fake cried mockingly as my heart started to pick up its speed when I realized the danger I was in.

'Ah there it is" he said as he inhaled deeply with his eyes closed.

"fear" he chuckled.

He pouted exaggeratingly at his failure to make me smile.

"how rude of me, I didn't even introduce myself" he said as he sat up towering over me.

"I am pennywise the dancing clown!" he said as he bowed his head down extending his arm to me.

"h-hi penny" I said trying not to trip on my words caused by fear.

"I have manners you see" he joked as I noticed he was drooling from his curled smile. He didn't seem to care or notice for that matter. I shifted uncomfortably where I stood trying not to say or do the wrong thing in fear of an instant attack. His gloved hand made his way to my chin as he examined me like a shopper would do in an item they were interested in purchasing. But he wasn't going to purchase, he was going to take.

His eyes met mine before he smiled that famous smile. He pulled away from me before huffing.

"I'll be seeing you around my Lolita" he said before he disappeared into the dark corner once again leaving me afraid and confused in the middle of my room.