Sloane wasn’t able to fall asleep. This time, she had left the lamps on to cast shadows over Carter’s sleeping frame. While he slept, she found herself admiring how handsome he was. Several times, she had to stop herself from reaching out to trace a finger along his jawline or swipe a strand of hair from his forehead. Her thoughts drifted to their conversation before he'd fallen asleep.

Once they’d settled onto the bed, facing one another, he started talking.

“Do you want to have kids?” The question caught her off guard for a few reasons. But she hadn’t even thought about it before now. If he had asked her prior to leaving her home, she would have said not right now. Maybe not for a long time. Her answer now was a solid no.

“I don’t.” She wasn’t sure that was the answer he hoped for, but lying wasn’t an option this time. Her only hope was that he didn’t want any as well and he wasn’t expecting her to change her mind later on. He was always careful to wear a condom, after all, except for this time.

“Hmm.” It was quiet while he contemplated her answer. “Why not?”

“I dunno.” Her shrug matched the unsure look she gave him. “You?”

“Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t.” His honesty surprised her.

“Why?”

“I think the no has to do with my parents. I have no desire to be the way they were with me. I think I was a mistake for them to be honest. I guess I’m lucky they at least didn’t choose abortion.” The way he spoke about his parents always tore at her heart and she found herself hating them more and more he revealed about the people they were. “The yes…I dunno. I guess I never thought about it too much before.”

“So what made you ask me?” A small crease formed between her eyebrows.

“I dunno.” He gave her a light laugh. “Maybe cuz I saw a kid when I went into town.”

“Ah.” Not sure if that was true, she decided not to question it anymore. She didn’t want the seemingly simple question to evolve into a conversation about them having children together.

“Did you have pets growing up?”

“That’s quite a shift of topics.” A small grin spread across her face as relief flooded her chest. “I had a dog and my sister had a cat.”

“Which was your favorite?”

“You’d think my dog. But I actually really loved the cat like she was my own. Both of the pets were my babies.”

“What was your dog’s name?”

“Buffy. I loved the show ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. My sister named her cat Esmeralda. Not a clue why.”

His eyes sparkled as he laughed. “Interesting.”

“You? Any pets?”

“I always wanted an iguana, but all I was ever allowed to have was a fish. To be honest, I have no clue why I was allowed even that, but I didn’t even know how to take care of it.”

“I guess you didn't have it very long.”

“Nope. Gave it a funeral on my own.” He spoke in a nonchalant tone as if none of it had mattered.

“How old were you?”

“Seven.”

“Oh my goodness.” How could his parents just let their child give the pet fish a funeral all alone? “Your parents were just…”

“Horrid.” He said it with no emotion.

“Yeah.” All she could do was nod her agreement.

“I wouldn’t have gotten any help from them no matter what kind of pet I had, so it was probably best they wouldn’t let me have anything else.”

“Probably.”

“Why do you love hiking?” There was a genuine interest in his eyes.

Her eyes lit up and she started smiling. “Nature is just beautiful.”

“It’s that simple? Why not just go outside and sit then?” With a raised eyebrow, he looked like he was challenging her. “It’s so much simpler than getting all sweaty and trekking around the forest.”

“Because then you’d miss all of it. Nature is everywhere.” Laying on her right side, she lifted her left arm to make an arch. “Not that I’m ever gonna see it all, but hiking lets me see a lot of it.”

He let her words sink in and he remembered his appreciation of what he’d seen while checking the land. At some point, they would hike together, enjoy nature together.

Their conversation started to teeter off as drowsiness overtook them. Carter ended up falling asleep while Sloane struggled to keep herself awake. As much as she wanted to drift off into oblivion, she couldn’t let herself do so.

Her plan was to explore again, but try the door this time. She just wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to wake up when she left the bed.

It seemed like they’d been laying in the bed forever before his breathing turned slow and even. And she still lay there, not willing to risk moving too soon.

Ready to just give in as her eyes started to burn from exhaustion, she made herself focus on the chance that awaited her upstairs. It seemed to call to her and when she couldn’t take it anymore, she slipped to the end of the bed and took her time going up the stairs.

Like the night before, she walked to the door and just looked out of the window, her breath fogging it with each exhale. It took her a long time to decide that staring just wasn't enough anymore. Her breathing became shallow as she lifted her hand to the doorknob, her heart knocking a quick cadence in her chest.

A soft click made her gasp as she looked over her shoulder to the cellar, expecting to see Carter standing there. But there was no sign of him and the only sound was of her soft breathing. There was no shift in the pale orange light from the lamp, no shadows cast upon the walls. Pulling the door with as much ease as she could, she turned her attention to the world outside.

The steps she took were small and shaky, as if she hadn’t walked in a long time. Feeling the soft earth beneath her feet was surreal. Am I really outside? Am I really seeing and feeling this? Her breathing became shuttering gasps as she took in the scene before her. After who knew how long she had been confined to the cellar, she was outside, in the fresh air. As beautiful as the night was, she wished it could be daylight. Imagining for a second that the sunlight kissed her skin, she let a gentle smile spread across her face.

There was a slight humidity with a gentle breeze that added to her excitement, making it all feel more real. All she’d known was the coolness of the cellar for so long now.

Silent tears spilled over the dam and she raised her face to the sky. Between the branches she could see bright stars sparkling in the clear sky. The moon seemed to glow as it cast its light down to her. She let her eyes close as she stood, face still raised. A strange calmness flooded her body as she listened to various sounds of the woods - crickets, squirrels, an owl.

In disbelief that she was experiencing this, she continued the battle of controlling her breathing and gaped at what lay before her. Almost in slow motion, she began to turn in a circle, admiring the beauty of the woods in the night.

She stopped and stared straight into the house, her breathing calming to a slow and steady rhythm. A realization hit her.

This wasn’t the moment she was going to run. It just wasn’t the right time.

It was dark and she knew nothing about these woods. Look what had happened to her before. That wasn’t something she was quick to repeat.

With one last glance of the woods, she stepped back into the house to go back to bed with Carter. There was always tomorrow.

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