《Anna Karenina》Chapter XXIX
Advertisement
Anna got into the carriage again in an even worse frame of mind than when she set out from home. To her previous tortures was added now that sense of mortification and of being an outcast which she had felt so distinctly on meeting Kitty.
"Where to? Home?" asked Pyotr.
"Yes, home," she said, not even thinking now where she was going.
"How they looked at me as something dreadful, incomprehensible, and curious! What can he be telling the other with such warmth?" she thought, staring at two men who walked by. "Can one ever tell anyone what one is feeling? I meant to tell Dolly, and it’s a good thing I didn’t tell her. How pleased she would have been at my misery! She would have concealed it, but her chief feeling would have been delight at my being punished for the happiness she envied me for. Kitty, she would have been even more pleased. How I can see through her! She knows I was more than usually sweet to her husband. And she’s jealous and hates me. And she despises me. In her eyes I’m an immoral woman. If I were an immoral woman I could have made her husband fall in love with me ... if I’d cared to. And, indeed, I did care to. There’s someone who’s pleased with himself," she thought, as she saw a fat, rubicund gentleman coming towards her. He took her for an acquaintance, and lifted his glossy hat above his bald, glossy head, and then perceived his mistake. "He thought he knew me. Well, he knows me as well as anyone in the world knows me. I don’t know myself. I know my appetites, as the French say. They want that dirty ice cream, that they do know for certain," she thought, looking at two boys stopping an ice cream seller, who took a barrel off his head and began wiping his perspiring face with a towel. "We all want what is sweet and nice. If not sweetmeats, then a dirty ice. And Kitty’s the same—if not Vronsky, then Levin. And she envies me, and hates me. And we all hate each other. I Kitty, Kitty me. Yes, that’s the truth. ‘Tiutkin, coiffeur.’ Je me fais coiffer par Tiutkin.... I’ll tell him that when he comes," she thought and smiled. But the same instant she remembered that she had no one now to tell anything amusing to. "And there’s nothing amusing, nothing mirthful, really. It’s all hateful. They’re singing for vespers, and how carefully that merchant crosses himself! as if he were afraid of missing something. Why these churches and this singing and this humbug? Simply to conceal that we all hate each other like these cab drivers who are abusing each other so angrily. Yashvin says, ‘He wants to strip me of my shirt, and I him of his.’ Yes, that’s the truth!"
Advertisement
She was plunged in these thoughts, which so engrossed her that she left off thinking of her own position, when the carriage drew up at the steps of her house. It was only when she saw the porter running out to meet her that she remembered she had sent the note and the telegram.
"Is there an answer?" she inquired.
"I’ll see this minute," answered the porter, and glancing into his room, he took out and gave her the thin square envelope of a telegram. "I can’t come before ten o’clock.—Vronsky," she read.
"And hasn’t the messenger come back?"
"No," answered the porter.
"Then, since it’s so, I know what I must do," she said, and feeling a vague fury and craving for revenge rising up within her, she ran upstairs. "I’ll go to him myself. Before going away forever, I’ll tell him all. Never have I hated anyone as I hate that man!" she thought. Seeing his hat on the rack, she shuddered with aversion. She did not consider that his telegram was an answer to her telegram and that he had not yet received her note. She pictured him to herself as talking calmly to his mother and Princess Sorokina and rejoicing at her sufferings. "Yes, I must go quickly," she said, not knowing yet where she was going. She longed to get away as quickly as possible from the feelings she had gone through in that awful house. The servants, the walls, the things in that house—all aroused repulsion and hatred in her and lay like a weight upon her.
"Yes, I must go to the railway station, and if he’s not there, then go there and catch him." Anna looked at the railway timetable in the newspapers. An evening train went at two minutes past eight. "Yes, I shall be in time." She gave orders for the other horses to be put in the carriage, and packed in a traveling-bag the things needed for a few days. She knew she would never come back here again.
Advertisement
Among the plans that came into her head she vaguely determined that after what would happen at the station or at the countess’s house, she would go as far as the first town on the Nizhni road and stop there.
Dinner was on the table; she went up, but the smell of the bread and cheese was enough to make her feel that all food was disgusting. She ordered the carriage and went out. The house threw a shadow now right across the street, but it was a bright evening and still warm in the sunshine. Annushka, who came down with her things, and Pyotr, who put the things in the carriage, and the coachman, evidently out of humor, were all hateful to her, and irritated her by their words and actions.
"I don’t want you, Pyotr."
"But how about the ticket?"
"Well, as you like, it doesn’t matter," she said crossly.
Pyotr jumped on the box, and putting his arms akimbo, told the coachman to drive to the booking-office.
Advertisement
- In Serial107 Chapters
Ant in Magic World.
As humans we live in a world where insect world is too small and insignificant to grab the attention of most of us. But what if there is a world where there are no humans. A world where magical beings reign supreme, and intelligent monsters are the kings of their own kingdoms. Where the phenomenon of mana has embedded so deep into everyone’s life’s that there are no beings left untouched by its powers. What kind of effect will this magical fuel have on the insects which on our Earth are considered important but nothing more than pests. Will they gain intelligence to move according to their wills? Will they have thoughts and emotions to convey their thoughts? Can they talk and communicate with other species and live together in harmony or they fight the territorial war like we humans do? Are they greedy for power, status and position or they are just simple organisms without much complexity and live by the days? And what if a human soul with no memories, but the intricacies of his human life etched onto the core of his soul, gets to reincarnate into such world as an ant? Will he survive and become another emperor or will he die trying to live according to his ways of the past? Monsteralia is one such world.
8 115 - In Serial15 Chapters
Ningen no Tenshi
Follow the protagonist, a high school dropout whose real identity was hidden away as a mystery to those around him, but to himself, he was a dead man walking in the world of the living. As he had been brought back to life as a being of Light. Entrusted with the task of saving the world, he was sent back into his world to find what would help him against the march of darkness.
8 191 - In Serial20 Chapters
Mayhap Jak (Wolf Clan #1)
Now available on Amazon Kindle Man plans and gods laugh! Cruelly orphaned as a result of a wager between two gods, a forest-born boy must find his own way in the wide world. To do so, he will need to find friends, both animal and human alike. He'll also need power and learn how to wield it. He's more than willing to fight, but it will take time, and many miracles to achieve his aim of revenging himself on an emperor. Join Mayhap Jak, along with his odd assortment of animal companions and castoff humans, as they grow into the warriors and witches they will need to become to protect their precious Wolf Clan.
8 133 - In Serial12 Chapters
50shades Of Jungkook
SPG: R-18Jeon Jungkook Fans Can Relate.
8 174 - In Serial140 Chapters
IMAGINE | kpop girlgroups X fem!reader
❝ THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY GAY ❞⏤in which you request and i writereactions, oneshots, imagines etc. highest ranks: #57 in FANFICTION #1 in MAMAMOO #1 in HYUNA #15 in KOREAN #10 in KPOPIMAGINES #2 in IOI ©solarshines
8 156 - In Serial23 Chapters
DEVIL IN ME ▹ supernatural[1]
DEVIL IN ME| "human's make mistakes all the time, but the good ones don't run away from their problems, they deal with them". [SUPERNATURAL SEASON 13][DISCLAIMER; I do not own supernatural or anything from the show, all rights go to the creators and owners of everything. I only own my OC and nothing else]
8 153912

