《Anna Karenina》Chapter XIII
Advertisement
There are no conditions to which a man cannot become used, especially if he sees that all around him are living in the same way. Levin could not have believed three months before that he could have gone quietly to sleep in the condition in which he was that day, that leading an aimless, irrational life, living too beyond his means, after drinking to excess (he could not call what happened at the club anything else), forming inappropriately friendly relations with a man with whom his wife had once been in love, and a still more inappropriate call upon a woman who could only be called a lost woman, after being fascinated by that woman and causing his wife distress—he could still go quietly to sleep. But under the influence of fatigue, a sleepless night, and the wine he had drunk, his sleep was sound and untroubled.
At five o’clock the creak of a door opening waked him. He jumped up and looked round. Kitty was not in bed beside him. But there was a light moving behind the screen, and he heard her steps.
"What is it?... what is it?" he said, half-asleep. "Kitty! What is it?"
"Nothing," she said, coming from behind the screen with a candle in her hand. "I felt unwell," she said, smiling a particularly sweet and meaning smile.
"What? has it begun?" he said in terror. "We ought to send..." and hurriedly he reached after his clothes.
"No, no," she said, smiling and holding his hand. "It’s sure to be nothing. I was rather unwell, only a little. It’s all over now."
And getting into bed, she blew out the candle, lay down and was still. Though he thought her stillness suspicious, as though she were holding her breath, and still more suspicious the expression of peculiar tenderness and excitement with which, as she came from behind the screen, she said "nothing," he was so sleepy that he fell asleep at once. Only later he remembered the stillness of her breathing, and understood all that must have been passing in her sweet, precious heart while she lay beside him, not stirring, in anticipation of the greatest event in a woman’s life. At seven o’clock he was waked by the touch of her hand on his shoulder, and a gentle whisper. She seemed struggling between regret at waking him, and the desire to talk to him.
Advertisement
"Kostya, don’t be frightened. It’s all right. But I fancy.... We ought to send for Lizaveta Petrovna."
The candle was lighted again. She was sitting up in bed, holding some knitting, which she had been busy upon during the last few days.
"Please, don’t be frightened, it’s all right. I’m not a bit afraid," she said, seeing his scared face, and she pressed his hand to her bosom and then to her lips.
He hurriedly jumped up, hardly awake, and kept his eyes fixed on her, as he put on his dressing gown; then he stopped, still looking at her. He had to go, but he could not tear himself from her eyes. He thought he loved her face, knew her expression, her eyes, but never had he seen it like this. How hateful and horrible he seemed to himself, thinking of the distress he had caused her yesterday. Her flushed face, fringed with soft curling hair under her night cap, was radiant with joy and courage.
Though there was so little that was complex or artificial in Kitty’s character in general, Levin was struck by what was revealed now, when suddenly all disguises were thrown off and the very kernel of her soul shone in her eyes. And in this simplicity and nakedness of her soul, she, the very woman he loved in her, was more manifest than ever. She looked at him, smiling; but all at once her brows twitched, she threw up her head, and going quickly up to him, clutched his hand and pressed close up to him, breathing her hot breath upon him. She was in pain and was, as it were, complaining to him of her suffering. And for the first minute, from habit, it seemed to him that he was to blame. But in her eyes there was a tenderness that told him that she was far from reproaching him, that she loved him for her sufferings. "If not I, who is to blame for it?" he thought unconsciously, seeking someone responsible for this suffering for him to punish; but there was no one responsible. She was suffering, complaining, and triumphing in her sufferings, and rejoicing in them, and loving them. He saw that something sublime was being accomplished in her soul, but what? He could not make it out. It was beyond his understanding.
Advertisement
"I have sent to mamma. You go quickly to fetch Lizaveta Petrovna ... Kostya!... Nothing, it’s over."
She moved away from him and rang the bell.
"Well, go now; Pasha’s coming. I am all right."
And Levin saw with astonishment that she had taken up the knitting she had brought in in the night and begun working at it again.
As Levin was going out of one door, he heard the maid-servant come in at the other. He stood at the door and heard Kitty giving exact directions to the maid, and beginning to help her move the bedstead.
He dressed, and while they were putting in his horses, as a hired sledge was not to be seen yet, he ran again up to the bedroom, not on tiptoe, it seemed to him, but on wings. Two maid-servants were carefully moving something in the bedroom.
Kitty was walking about knitting rapidly and giving directions.
"I’m going for the doctor. They have sent for Lizaveta Petrovna, but I’ll go on there too. Isn’t there anything wanted? Yes, shall I go to Dolly’s?"
She looked at him, obviously not hearing what he was saying.
"Yes, yes. Do go," she said quickly, frowning and waving her hand to him.
He had just gone into the drawing room, when suddenly a plaintive moan sounded from the bedroom, smothered instantly. He stood still, and for a long while he could not understand.
"Yes, that is she," he said to himself, and clutching at his head he ran downstairs.
"Lord have mercy on us! pardon us! aid us!" he repeated the words that for some reason came suddenly to his lips. And he, an unbeliever, repeated these words not with his lips only. At that instant he knew that all his doubts, even the impossibility of believing with his reason, of which he was aware in himself, did not in the least hinder his turning to God. All of that now floated out of his soul like dust. To whom was he to turn if not to Him in whose hands he felt himself, his soul, and his love?
The horse was not yet ready, but feeling a peculiar concentration of his physical forces and his intellect on what he had to do, he started off on foot without waiting for the horse, and told Kouzma to overtake him.
At the corner he met a night cabman driving hurriedly. In the little sledge, wrapped in a velvet cloak, sat Lizaveta Petrovna with a kerchief round her head. "Thank God! thank God!" he said, overjoyed to recognize her little fair face which wore a peculiarly serious, even stern expression. Telling the driver not to stop, he ran along beside her.
"For two hours, then? Not more?" she inquired. "You should let Pyotr Dmitrievitch know, but don’t hurry him. And get some opium at the chemist’s."
"So you think that it may go on well? Lord have mercy on us and help us!" Levin said, seeing his own horse driving out of the gate. Jumping into the sledge beside Kouzma, he told him to drive to the doctor’s.
Advertisement
- In Serial38 Chapters
The Infected Progressive
Weekly thoughts by an inspiring expressionist prepping to take the world by storm through progressive poetry and lyrical precociousness. I hope you will follow me on this imagination rollercoaster that will loop the loop the insecurities of man and beyond.
8 410 - In Serial7 Chapters
A Soothing Melody for the Bleach-Stained Ego
You have been cordially invited to an interview and meeting with yourself. Please, do not relax - there's still plenty work to be done.
8 188 - In Serial15 Chapters
The Chronicles of Shard: Never a Name Spoken
Shard, a world drowned, yet dotted with islands, is set at odds in a war older than memory. One, Lagoon, feels remarkably at peace. With the war far from their shores, they’re free to focus on a greater concern . . . the witch. Imprisoned upon Gabriel’s Tear, a nearby rock jutting from the sea, the witch crooned powerless in all her telepathic fury. Though all were awash with fear, should they wander within range of her all-seeing eye. Bedtime stories were told to keep children in check, lest they be whisked away in the night and devoured. None dared speak her name. Ciroc, a young boy, was soon to be enmeshed in her future . . . and that of the council, who controlled all in an iron grip. Not even Mother Sea could predict the outcome. Woe be to this blue planet. Woe be to this blue marble called Shard.
8 165 - In Serial21 Chapters
Deceiving darkness
This is a story about an archaeologist named Malum. In one of the caves that are located on the territory of Russia somewhere in the North, he finds a black sphere that teleports him to an unknown, cruel and bloody world. He is driven by one goal, to get power and return to Earth, but he faces a lot of problems that have to be solved as they come. This book is the first in a series of 5. Book number two will be published separately and will be a separate story of the character Damonion'o'Pitris. Currently under development. Publication dates are still unknown. The approximate date is the end of summer.
8 133 - In Serial37 Chapters
The Sable of Skapina
Nikolas knew he wasn't Fate's favorite. First in family, then in trade and finally in love. All that was about to change when he meets the sable of Skapina. [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
8 82 - In Serial18 Chapters
YOUNG BLOOD ( A. SKYWALKER ) [1]
❝are you an angel?❞ ❝do you say that to all the girls you meet?❞ episode i : the phantom menace( cover template by @estreIIas ) jess © 2016
8 135

