《Anna Karenina》Chapter XXXII
Advertisement
Before Vronsky’s departure for the elections, Anna had reflected that the scenes constantly repeated between them each time he left home, might only make him cold to her instead of attaching him to her, and resolved to do all she could to control herself so as to bear the parting with composure. But the cold, severe glance with which he had looked at her when he came to tell her he was going had wounded her, and before he had started her peace of mind was destroyed.
In solitude afterwards, thinking over that glance which had expressed his right to freedom, she came, as she always did, to the same point—the sense of her own humiliation. "He has the right to go away when and where he chooses. Not simply to go away, but to leave me. He has every right, and I have none. But knowing that, he ought not to do it. What has he done, though?... He looked at me with a cold, severe expression. Of course that is something indefinable, impalpable, but it has never been so before, and that glance means a great deal," she thought. "That glance shows the beginning of indifference."
And though she felt sure that a coldness was beginning, there was nothing she could do, she could not in any way alter her relations to him. Just as before, only by love and by charm could she keep him. And so, just as before, only by occupation in the day, by morphine at night, could she stifle the fearful thought of what would be if he ceased to love her. It is true there was still one means; not to keep him—for that she wanted nothing more than his love—but to be nearer to him, to be in such a position that he would not leave her. That means was divorce and marriage. And she began to long for that, and made up her mind to agree to it the first time he or Stiva approached her on the subject.
Absorbed in such thoughts, she passed five days without him, the five days that he was to be at the elections.
Walks, conversation with Princess Varvara, visits to the hospital, and, most of all, reading—reading of one book after another—filled up her time. But on the sixth day, when the coachman came back without him, she felt that now she was utterly incapable of stifling the thought of him and of what he was doing there, just at that time her little girl was taken ill. Anna began to look after her, but even that did not distract her mind, especially as the illness was not serious. However hard she tried, she could not love this little child, and to feign love was beyond her powers. Towards the evening of that day, still alone, Anna was in such a panic about him that she decided to start for the town, but on second thoughts wrote him the contradictory letter that Vronsky received, and without reading it through, sent it off by a special messenger. The next morning she received his letter and regretted her own. She dreaded a repetition of the severe look he had flung at her at parting, especially when he knew that the baby was not dangerously ill. But still she was glad she had written to him. At this moment Anna was positively admitting to herself that she was a burden to him, that he would relinquish his freedom regretfully to return to her, and in spite of that she was glad he was coming. Let him weary of her, but he would be here with her, so that she would see him, would know of every action he took.
Advertisement
She was sitting in the drawing room near a lamp, with a new volume of Taine, and as she read, listening to the sound of the wind outside, and every minute expecting the carriage to arrive. Several times she had fancied she heard the sound of wheels, but she had been mistaken. At last she heard not the sound of wheels, but the coachman’s shout and the dull rumble in the covered entry. Even Princess Varvara, playing patience, confirmed this, and Anna, flushing hotly, got up; but instead of going down, as she had done twice before, she stood still. She suddenly felt ashamed of her duplicity, but even more she dreaded how he might meet her. All feeling of wounded pride had passed now; she was only afraid of the expression of his displeasure. She remembered that her child had been perfectly well again for the last two days. She felt positively vexed with her for getting better from the very moment her letter was sent off. Then she thought of him, that he was here, all of him, with his hands, his eyes. She heard his voice. And forgetting everything, she ran joyfully to meet him.
"Well, how is Annie?" he said timidly from below, looking up to Anna as she ran down to him.
He was sitting on a chair, and a footman was pulling off his warm over-boot.
"Oh, she is better."
"And you?" he said, shaking himself.
She took his hand in both of hers, and drew it to her waist, never taking her eyes off him.
"Well, I’m glad," he said, coldly scanning her, her hair, her dress, which he knew she had put on for him. All was charming, but how many times it had charmed him! And the stern, stony expression that she so dreaded settled upon his face.
"Well, I’m glad. And are you well?" he said, wiping his damp beard with his handkerchief and kissing her hand.
"Never mind," she thought, "only let him be here, and so long as he’s here he cannot, he dare not, cease to love me."
The evening was spent happily and gaily in the presence of Princess Varvara, who complained to him that Anna had been taking morphine in his absence.
Advertisement
"What am I to do? I couldn’t sleep.... My thoughts prevented me. When he’s here I never take it—hardly ever."
He told her about the election, and Anna knew how by adroit questions to bring him to what gave him most pleasure—his own success. She told him of everything that interested him at home; and all that she told him was of the most cheerful description.
But late in the evening, when they were alone, Anna, seeing that she had regained complete possession of him, wanted to erase the painful impression of the glance he had given her for her letter. She said:
"Tell me frankly, you were vexed at getting my letter, and you didn’t believe me?"
As soon as she had said it, she felt that however warm his feelings were to her, he had not forgiven her for that.
"Yes," he said, "the letter was so strange. First, Annie ill, and then you thought of coming yourself."
"It was all the truth."
"Oh, I don’t doubt it."
"Yes, you do doubt it. You are vexed, I see."
"Not for one moment. I’m only vexed, that’s true, that you seem somehow unwilling to admit that there are duties..."
"The duty of going to a concert..."
"But we won’t talk about it," he said.
"Why not talk about it?" she said.
"I only meant to say that matters of real importance may turn up. Now, for instance, I shall have to go to Moscow to arrange about the house.... Oh, Anna, why are you so irritable? Don’t you know that I can’t live without you?"
"If so," said Anna, her voice suddenly changing, "it means that you are sick of this life.... Yes, you will come for a day and go away, as men do..."
"Anna, that’s cruel. I am ready to give up my whole life."
But she did not hear him.
"If you go to Moscow, I will go too. I will not stay here. Either we must separate or else live together."
"Why, you know, that’s my one desire. But for that..."
"We must get a divorce. I will write to him. I see I cannot go on like this.... But I will come with you to Moscow."
"You talk as if you were threatening me. But I desire nothing so much as never to be parted from you," said Vronsky, smiling.
But as he said these words there gleamed in his eyes not merely a cold look, but the vindictive look of a man persecuted and made cruel.
She saw the look and correctly divined its meaning.
"If so, it’s a calamity!" that glance told her. It was a moment’s impression, but she never forgot it.
Anna wrote to her husband asking him about a divorce, and towards the end of November, taking leave of Princess Varvara, who wanted to go to Petersburg, she went with Vronsky to Moscow. Expecting every day an answer from Alexey Alexandrovitch, and after that the divorce, they now established themselves together like married people.
Advertisement
- In Serial36 Chapters
The Last Game
Twenty years of fighting, an endless struggle for a better tomorrow. Years of bloodshed to buy humanity just one more day. Decades spent forging himself into a juggernaut of steel and bone. One night that all changed. Suddenly finding himself back at the start, Jack must answer the question, what would you do with a second chance? Would you tread the same path to power, no matter the cost? Would you walk a new path, one full of the unknown? Most important of all, what do you do when the world is set on a timer? Life as you know it will end, no matter what you do, do you let Fate have its way, or do you position yourself to pick up the shattered pieces of civilization? Jack will grasp his chance at redemption, and protect humanity from that which slumbers, undisturbed for ages past. To do so he will have to be strong, and he will need help. Will he trust any with his dark past or will the burdens of a modern Prometheus prove too much to shoulder. As the world changes humanity finds it no longer stands atop the food chain, how will it deal with myth and legend made real? A world of pure potential awaits those with the will to see it. While fates worse than death await those unlucky few that delve too deep into the secrets of the unknown. Six paths to infinite variety. Four days till everlasting fame. Welcome to the last game ever played. Updates on Mondays
8 121 - In Serial27 Chapters
Bone And Amber: The Inside Story On The Return Of The Dinosaurs
A miracle has been achieved: non-avian, Mesozoic dinosaurs have been brought back to life - not by a technical university or a government programme, but by a venture capitalist concern, for reasons of profit. The social, economic, and political ripples of this development will do much more than enable the simple launch of a theme park for the rich: they will change the world. FAQ: Do I need to know anything about the Jurassic Park franchise to enjoy this? No. This story is not exactly a Jurassic Park fanfic - it is a story about the de-extinction of Mesozoic dinosaurs. While the story begins with some of the events depicted in the Jurassic Park universe, it is very much its own creature, and designed for readers with no prior knowledge of the franchise. It will begin to diverge quite quickly, as well: the dramatic focus will not be on people running around tropical islands trying to be eaten. The whole point of the exercise is to explore the profound consequences and ripples an event like the mass-cloning of extinct animals would generate.Do I need to know anything about dinosaurs to enjoy this? Also no! Sensing a theme yet? Although, if I’ve done my homework correctly, a newbie to the subject will be able to pick up something - not just about the animals themselves, but about their role as a vehicle to better understand the history of life on Earth, and the application of the scientific method to a sadly fragmentary puzzle.Without further ado, please enjoy!
8 76 - In Serial41 Chapters
WISH FULFILLMENT: OF THE AUTHOR
The owner of the Cover: https://higherdensity.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/finding-that-infinite-ocean-of-calm-within-archangels-and-devas-blog-5-11-14/ This book right here contains three stories. Infinite Ocean- Hiatus. Naruto FF- Fanfiction set in the Warring States Period Wish Fulfillment- HS DXD Fan fiction.....as of now If you feel and know that anything is from something you know, you can safely assume that I do not own any of them. This is purely a fanfiction. With all honesty I am not aiming on continuing this in a consistent basis. However I am going to upload here from now on. I just want to share my ideas. And if you like it, Thank you for reading it. And if you don't like it, thank you still for atleast looking at it. I am willing to take criticism. I am not very proficient when it comes to grammar so please be patient with me.
8 75 - In Serial21 Chapters
Hazelsong: A LitRPG Novel
Release Schedule: I will be moving to a set release schedule as of 1/1/2022. A new chapter will be released every Saturday at Noon EST. If I have time that week for a second chapter, I will leave a note on the Saturday chapter and post the second chapter on Sunday at Noon EST. An up to date character sheet for the MC Erik will also be posted on Sundays at 12:15 PM. If life happens and I am for some reason unable to write that week, I will post a blank chapter giving you an update on where I am with my writing. Saturday Noon EST: First weekly chapter Sunday Noon EST: Second weekly chapter (if I have the time) Sunday 12:15 EST: Updated character sheet Synopsis: Years after surviving a deadly accident, Erik struggles to come to terms with his painful disability. When offered the chance to playtest the world's first full immersion VRMMO, he wants nothing more than to retreat back into his secluded life, until he learns what Hazelsong really offers. An escape from the pain. Hazelsong is a world of magic and adventure, a place where friendships are formed, loot is won, and glory and fame are there for the taking. While the threats feel real and the stakes are always high, there is only one thing Erik is really in danger of. Forgetting which world is actually real. Story Themes: Hazelsong is a LitRPG novel that not only explores the fictional world of a realistic online fantasy realm but the life of a man suffering in silence from chronic pain and PTSD due to a significant physical injury and disability. Mental health is an important subject and we all know at least one person in our lives who has or is dealing with some form of mental illness. I plan on putting my best effort forward to represent these illnesses in a fair and accurate manner. Not as a cheap plot device to help make the protagonist more unique, but to help paint an accurate picture for those of us who have been lucky enough to not have to suffer in silence. About the Author: I am Ash Durra, general video game nerd and a connoisseur of fantasy and sci-fi of all shapes and sizes. Needless to say, I am not a professional author (B.S. and M.S. in Education, 8 years teaching). After really getting into LitRPG novels over the past several years, I found my way to Royal Road, which has inspired me to use my spare time to begin writing a story of my own creation. As this is a hobby, I am not writing and posting chapters on any kind of specific schedule at the moment, though my goal is to post on average 1-2 chapters a week. I am incredibly excited to share this story with others as I write it, and I look forward to any constructive feedback about how I can improve in my writing.
8 91 - In Serial21 Chapters
In Search Of The Sanctuary
[CURRENTLY ON A MONTH-LONG HIATUS. PLEASE REFER TO THE LATEST CHAPTER FOR MORE DETAILS.] A man summoned to a fantasy world agrees to the request of the Humans to vanquish the Demon Race and becomes the Hero. After a lengthy ordeal fraught with obstacles, he, along with his allies, defeat the Demon King and drive the Demon Race to the brink of extinction. But he is betrayed by most of his allies, who attempt to exterminate him. He is saved by the Goddess of the World, who shows him a vision of a Sanctuary of unparalleled serenity and urges him to come to her. He is reincarnated as the son of a wonderfully cheerful Elven couple Elrohir and Luthien, who name him Aldon. Follow Aldon on an adventure of a lifetime as he seeks out the Sanctuary to get answers. Chapters will be updated weekly on Mondays at 08:00 AM IST (Indian Standard Time). This novel is also published on: Wattpad, Scribble Hub, and FictionPress.
8 160 - In Serial48 Chapters
Sarafina De Luca
Sara also know as Sarafina De Luca was born in the family in the Mafia world.What will happen if the parents give her up at the age of 2 for her own safety?Will she survive?What happens when she finds out she has five older brothers after 14 years of her life? Will she be the cute, innocent girl they once knew? What will happen when secrets will reveal and mystery will be solved!?
8 419

