《Anna Karenina》Chapter VIII
Advertisement
Alexey Alexandrovitch had seen nothing striking or improper in the fact that his wife was sitting with Vronsky at a table apart, in eager conversation with him about something. But he noticed that to the rest of the party this appeared something striking and improper, and for that reason it seemed to him too to be improper. He made up his mind that he must speak of it to his wife.
On reaching home Alexey Alexandrovitch went to his study, as he usually did, seated himself in his low chair, opened a book on the Papacy at the place where he had laid the paper-knife in it, and read till one o’clock, just as he usually did. But from time to time he rubbed his high forehead and shook his head, as though to drive away something. At his usual time he got up and made his toilet for the night. Anna Arkadyevna had not yet come in. With a book under his arm he went upstairs. But this evening, instead of his usual thoughts and meditations upon official details, his thoughts were absorbed by his wife and something disagreeable connected with her. Contrary to his usual habit, he did not get into bed, but fell to walking up and down the rooms with his hands clasped behind his back. He could not go to bed, feeling that it was absolutely needful for him first to think thoroughly over the position that had just arisen.
When Alexey Alexandrovitch had made up his mind that he must talk to his wife about it, it had seemed a very easy and simple matter. But now, when he began to think over the question that had just presented itself, it seemed to him very complicated and difficult.
Alexey Alexandrovitch was not jealous. Jealousy according to his notions was an insult to one’s wife, and one ought to have confidence in one’s wife. Why one ought to have confidence—that is to say, complete conviction that his young wife would always love him—he did not ask himself. But he had no experience of lack of confidence, because he had confidence in her, and told himself that he ought to have it. Now, though his conviction that jealousy was a shameful feeling and that one ought to feel confidence, had not broken down, he felt that he was standing face to face with something illogical and irrational, and did not know what was to be done. Alexey Alexandrovitch was standing face to face with life, with the possibility of his wife’s loving someone other than himself, and this seemed to him very irrational and incomprehensible because it was life itself. All his life Alexey Alexandrovitch had lived and worked in official spheres, having to do with the reflection of life. And every time he had stumbled against life itself he had shrunk away from it. Now he experienced a feeling akin to that of a man who, while calmly crossing a precipice by a bridge, should suddenly discover that the bridge is broken, and that there is a chasm below. That chasm was life itself, the bridge that artificial life in which Alexey Alexandrovitch had lived. For the first time the question presented itself to him of the possibility of his wife’s loving someone else, and he was horrified at it.
Advertisement
He did not undress, but walked up and down with his regular tread over the resounding parquet of the dining room, where one lamp was burning, over the carpet of the dark drawing room, in which the light was reflected on the big new portrait of himself hanging over the sofa, and across her boudoir, where two candles burned, lighting up the portraits of her parents and woman friends, and the pretty knick-knacks of her writing table, that he knew so well. He walked across her boudoir to the bedroom door, and turned back again. At each turn in his walk, especially at the parquet of the lighted dining room, he halted and said to himself, "Yes, this I must decide and put a stop to; I must express my view of it and my decision." And he turned back again. "But express what—what decision?" he said to himself in the drawing room, and he found no reply. "But after all," he asked himself before turning into the boudoir, "what has occurred? Nothing. She was talking a long while with him. But what of that? Surely women in society can talk to whom they please. And then, jealousy means lowering both myself and her," he told himself as he went into her boudoir; but this dictum, which had always had such weight with him before, had now no weight and no meaning at all. And from the bedroom door he turned back again; but as he entered the dark drawing room some inner voice told him that it was not so, and that if others noticed it that showed that there was something. And he said to himself again in the dining room, "Yes, I must decide and put a stop to it, and express my view of it..." And again at the turn in the drawing room he asked himself, "Decide how?" And again he asked himself, "What had occurred?" and answered, "Nothing," and recollected that jealousy was a feeling insulting to his wife; but again in the drawing room he was convinced that something had happened. His thoughts, like his body, went round a complete circle, without coming upon anything new. He noticed this, rubbed his forehead, and sat down in her boudoir.
There, looking at her table, with the malachite blotting case lying at the top and an unfinished letter, his thoughts suddenly changed. He began to think of her, of what she was thinking and feeling. For the first time he pictured vividly to himself her personal life, her ideas, her desires, and the idea that she could and should have a separate life of her own seemed to him so alarming that he made haste to dispel it. It was the chasm which he was afraid to peep into. To put himself in thought and feeling in another person’s place was a spiritual exercise not natural to Alexey Alexandrovitch. He looked on this spiritual exercise as a harmful and dangerous abuse of the fancy.
Advertisement
"And the worst of it all," thought he, "is that just now, at the very moment when my great work is approaching completion" (he was thinking of the project he was bringing forward at the time), "when I stand in need of all my mental peace and all my energies, just now this stupid worry should fall foul of me. But what’s to be done? I’m not one of those men who submit to uneasiness and worry without having the force of character to face them.
"I must think it over, come to a decision, and put it out of my mind," he said aloud.
"The question of her feelings, of what has passed and may be passing in her soul, that’s not my affair; that’s the affair of her conscience, and falls under the head of religion," he said to himself, feeling consolation in the sense that he had found to which division of regulating principles this new circumstance could be properly referred.
"And so," Alexey Alexandrovitch said to himself, "questions as to her feelings, and so on, are questions for her conscience, with which I can have nothing to do. My duty is clearly defined. As the head of the family, I am a person bound in duty to guide her, and consequently, in part the person responsible; I am bound to point out the danger I perceive, to warn her, even to use my authority. I ought to speak plainly to her." And everything that he would say tonight to his wife took clear shape in Alexey Alexandrovitch’s head. Thinking over what he would say, he somewhat regretted that he should have to use his time and mental powers for domestic consumption, with so little to show for it, but, in spite of that, the form and contents of the speech before him shaped itself as clearly and distinctly in his head as a ministerial report.
"I must say and express fully the following points: first, exposition of the value to be attached to public opinion and to decorum; secondly, exposition of religious significance of marriage; thirdly, if need be, reference to the calamity possibly ensuing to our son; fourthly, reference to the unhappiness likely to result to herself." And, interlacing his fingers, Alexey Alexandrovitch stretched them, and the joints of the fingers cracked. This trick, a bad habit, the cracking of his fingers, always soothed him, and gave precision to his thoughts, so needful to him at this juncture.
There was the sound of a carriage driving up to the front door. Alexey Alexandrovitch halted in the middle of the room.
A woman’s step was heard mounting the stairs. Alexey Alexandrovitch, ready for his speech, stood compressing his crossed fingers, waiting to see if the crack would not come again. One joint cracked.
Already, from the sound of light steps on the stairs, he was aware that she was close, and though he was satisfied with his speech, he felt frightened of the explanation confronting him...
Advertisement
- In Serial13 Chapters
Norsege Isles: A Farming LITRPG Survival Experience
The world is gone. Mother nature has been taken advantage of one too many times and now she's fighting back. Rather than trying to heal their broken planet, humanity decides to take a more fantastical route. Enter Eden, the virtual world that promises lifetimes of adventure along with a land size that claims to be infinite. For the entire human race, it has to live up to its biblical name. Ambrose, a young man drawn to the promise of Eden, says his farewells to his parents before uploading his consciousness into the virtual world. But Ambrose doesn't want to be the king's knight or spell-slinging mage. No. Ambrose wants to farm. Picking his skillset around living off the land, Ambrose enters the Norsege Isles with dreams of enjoying the world for what it used to be. Dangerous creatures lurk in the woods of the Isles, fearsome beasts that'll rip any human or Norseman to shreds if given the chance. Ambrose will have to learn how to tame the Isles' animals if he wants to have a hope of living his dream as a farmer of unexplored wilderness. He'll also have to deal with any pesky people that decide that he's easy pickings. Will Ambrose make it long enough to harvest his first crops, or will the pressure become too much to bear? Join Ambrose as he strives to live his life in the new world.
8 205 - In Serial32 Chapters
Truck-kun Gets Sacrificed
Driscoll is my own version of a world with a game-like "system" of endless possibilities. MC has his own status, classes, skills, magic, and a living greatswordstaff in a world of monsters, demi-humans of all kinds, and even the supernatural. Sound good? Well, at first for Tru, it was a dream come true(I'm sorry). At least until reality hits him again and again. His quest from God is vague and must be discovered by him along the way. Hopefully, he can figure that out someday but for now, this new world's threats and his potential for power are motivation aplenty. With His new partner by his side, he's ready to embark on his mission of infinite sacrifice, however many lives it takes. The setting is pretty standard for fantasy, with my beginner attempts at writing. Litrpg elements are definitely involved here but It'll calm down as the story progresses and the world's foundation is laid. Judeo/Christian themes and principles take a major role and will be a backbone for much of the story. The fights will paint a picture in the mind rather than just be a bunch of number crunching. While he is meant to be a sacrifice to save all of Driscoll, he needs to gain enough power and influence to be a worthwhile sacrifice, or so he thinks. And so carnage will ensue as he avoids death as best he can while at the same time sacking himself for others. Truck Coon is your average determined, jiu-jitsu practitioner, tax associate that just started his new career. He dies to save kids from a semi-truck(Truck Coon got truck-kun'd, making him Truck-kun) and is transported to another world rather conventionally by God. Upon his arrival, he is quickly confronted with his first conflicts in the wild. Give it a shot and let me know what you think. Chapters are currently between 2300 and 4000 words and I try to post weekly, but also deal with severe limitations that cause late posts often. I have zero actual experience with writing stories and only recently started reading web novels in 2020. If you end up hating it, let me know your thoughts in a detailed comment or review, especially if you love it though :D I want to get better and welcome the feedback, so expect changes to be made with any flaws that y'all point out which I don't already have plans to address in future chapters. That being said, keep it constructive in nature, please. I have no Idea how the formatting and such will go, so if you like or dislike some techniques I try, give me that well-appreciated feedback! Thank you for reading.
8 544 - In Serial14 Chapters
The Evil Inside
A man wakes up after being in a coma for a few weeks with no idea of who or what he is...
8 199 - In Serial22 Chapters
-BOSS-
Намайг зүгээр л BOSS гэж дуудахад болно2020.03.10/2020.07.08.
8 197 - In Serial23 Chapters
The Dragon Stone
Eighteen-year-old Victoria Ross finds her world turned completely upside down when she stumbles upon a glowing red stone pendant. Magic and fairy tales come to life around her as she finds herself thrust into a seemingly impossible quest, where she will meet new friends, suffer painful loss, and discover strengths within herself she never thought she possessed. But a royal evil has long sought the stone, and word has carried of its presence. Victoria must find a way to destroy the stone before darkness consumes the land and snatches any chance she has of finding a way home. (cover art courtesy of gej302)
8 197 - In Serial31 Chapters
The Thalisean legacy
Many years ago, a small but noble race called the Thalise existed with the sole purpose of defeating the demons and their king with to the power given to them by their creator; the mark of the Herald, a symbol that manifested itself as the main source of a Thaliseans strength to defeat the demons. Many more years of strife passed but the Thalisean race mysteriously vanished. Humanity is pushed to the brink of ruin due to the demon's running rampant across the land. This is when the last of the Thalise is created and brought forth by their creator. Zachary Erinn, a young man raised as a normal child, embarks on his perilous journey to fulfill his purpose as it is revealed to him. Can he take over such a task that stakes the fate of humanity on his shoulders, or will he succumb at the hands of those that seek to deter him?
8 201

