《Anna Karenina》Chapter XXIX
Advertisement
"Come, it’s all over, and thank God!" was the first thought that came to Anna Arkadyevna, when she had said good-bye for the last time to her brother, who had stood blocking up the entrance to the carriage till the third bell rang. She sat down on her lounge beside Annushka, and looked about her in the twilight of the sleeping-carriage. "Thank God! tomorrow I shall see Seryozha and Alexey Alexandrovitch, and my life will go on in the old way, all nice and as usual."
Still in the same anxious frame of mind, as she had been all that day, Anna took pleasure in arranging herself for the journey with great care. With her little deft hands she opened and shut her little red bag, took out a cushion, laid it on her knees, and carefully wrapping up her feet, settled herself comfortably. An invalid lady had already lain down to sleep. Two other ladies began talking to Anna, and a stout elderly lady tucked up her feet, and made observations about the heating of the train. Anna answered a few words, but not foreseeing any entertainment from the conversation, she asked Annushka to get a lamp, hooked it onto the arm of her seat, and took from her bag a paper knife and an English novel. At first her reading made no progress. The fuss and bustle were disturbing; then when the train had started, she could not help listening to the noises; then the snow beating on the left window and sticking to the pane, and the sight of the muffled guard passing by, covered with snow on one side, and the conversations about the terrible snowstorm raging outside, distracted her attention. Farther on, it was continually the same again and again: the same shaking and rattling, the same snow on the window, the same rapid transitions from steaming heat to cold, and back again to heat, the same passing glimpses of the same figures in the twilight, and the same voices, and Anna began to read and to understand what she read. Annushka was already dozing, the red bag on her lap, clutched by her broad hands, in gloves, of which one was torn. Anna Arkadyevna read and understood, but it was distasteful to her to read, that is, to follow the reflection of other people’s lives. She had too great a desire to live herself. If she read that the heroine of the novel was nursing a sick man, she longed to move with noiseless steps about the room of a sick man; if she read of a member of Parliament making a speech, she longed to be delivering the speech; if she read of how Lady Mary had ridden after the hounds, and had provoked her sister-in-law, and had surprised everyone by her boldness, she too wished to be doing the same. But there was no chance of doing anything; and twisting the smooth paper knife in her little hands, she forced herself to read.
Advertisement
The hero of the novel was already almost reaching his English happiness, a baronetcy and an estate, and Anna was feeling a desire to go with him to the estate, when she suddenly felt that he ought to feel ashamed, and that she was ashamed of the same thing. But what had he to be ashamed of? "What have I to be ashamed of?" she asked herself in injured surprise. She laid down the book and sank against the back of the chair, tightly gripping the paper cutter in both hands. There was nothing. She went over all her Moscow recollections. All were good, pleasant. She remembered the ball, remembered Vronsky and his face of slavish adoration, remembered all her conduct with him: there was nothing shameful. And for all that, at the same point in her memories, the feeling of shame was intensified, as though some inner voice, just at the point when she thought of Vronsky, were saying to her, "Warm, very warm, hot." "Well, what is it?" she said to herself resolutely, shifting her seat in the lounge. "What does it mean? Am I afraid to look it straight in the face? Why, what is it? Can it be that between me and this officer boy there exist, or can exist, any other relations than such as are common with every acquaintance?" She laughed contemptuously and took up her book again; but now she was definitely unable to follow what she read. She passed the paper knife over the window pane, then laid its smooth, cool surface to her cheek, and almost laughed aloud at the feeling of delight that all at once without cause came over her. She felt as though her nerves were strings being strained tighter and tighter on some sort of screwing peg. She felt her eyes opening wider and wider, her fingers and toes twitching nervously, something within oppressing her breathing, while all shapes and sounds seemed in the uncertain half-light to strike her with unaccustomed vividness. Moments of doubt were continually coming upon her, when she was uncertain whether the train were going forwards or backwards, or were standing still altogether; whether it were Annushka at her side or a stranger. "What’s that on the arm of the chair, a fur cloak or some beast? And what am I myself? Myself or some other woman?" She was afraid of giving way to this delirium. But something drew her towards it, and she could yield to it or resist it at will. She got up to rouse herself, and slipped off her plaid and the cape of her warm dress. For a moment she regained her self-possession, and realized that the thin peasant who had come in wearing a long overcoat, with buttons missing from it, was the stoveheater, that he was looking at the thermometer, that it was the wind and snow bursting in after him at the door; but then everything grew blurred again.... That peasant with the long waist seemed to be gnawing something on the wall, the old lady began stretching her legs the whole length of the carriage, and filling it with a black cloud; then there was a fearful shrieking and banging, as though someone were being torn to pieces; then there was a blinding dazzle of red fire before her eyes and a wall seemed to rise up and hide everything. Anna felt as though she were sinking down. But it was not terrible, but delightful. The voice of a man muffled up and covered with snow shouted something in her ear. She got up and pulled herself together; she realized that they had reached a station and that this was the guard. She asked Annushka to hand her the cape she had taken off and her shawl, put them on and moved towards the door.
Advertisement
"Do you wish to get out?" asked Annushka.
"Yes, I want a little air. It’s very hot in here." And she opened the door. The driving snow and the wind rushed to meet her and struggled with her over the door. But she enjoyed the struggle.
She opened the door and went out. The wind seemed as though lying in wait for her; with gleeful whistle it tried to snatch her up and bear her off, but she clung to the cold door post, and holding her skirt got down onto the platform and under the shelter of the carriages. The wind had been powerful on the steps, but on the platform, under the lee of the carriages, there was a lull. With enjoyment she drew deep breaths of the frozen, snowy air, and standing near the carriage looked about the platform and the lighted station.
Advertisement
- In Serial7 Chapters
Acolyte: The Emerald Gates
A boy who does not belong. A wizard who would show him the world. Aljana is the City of Heaven, an oasis in an impassible desert ruled by an emperor who despises magic and the nonhuman races. The orphaned Callum has lived on the streets of this city for as long as he can remember, under the thumb of a woman who controls the city's urchins like a cruel master of puppets. He has always dreamed of escaping the repressive Aljana and becoming more than a child of inconvenience. Willow is a man of secrets and plots, with a name known by few and spoken by none. He seeks the truth of this world, for knowledge that is forbidden is the key to powers untold. These two will enter a contract that binds them together, a destiny that will unseal a legacy that traces itself back one hundred thousand years, to the bedchamber of a dying king and his Starlight Queen.
8 158 - In Serial20 Chapters
Chance Meetings
Three mages and their knight escort are sent to investigate a blight afflicting a village.
8 196 - In Serial8 Chapters
Sanguine
The Coles are probably the definition of a small dysfunctional family, even if they weren’t the worst in existence; they would probably be lauded as an example of the term. The Coles were a small family though. The father, Oliver Cole, was an asshole ex-football jock who bounced around in small paying jobs after wasting most of his life drinking, drugging and whoring. The daughter, Stacy Cole, was smart, but had many issues including anger, trouble with authority, and occasional suicidal thoughts, and was kicked out of many a school for disruptive behaviour. The son, Mike Cole, was innocent, and tried his best to be kind to anyone and everyone, however his own speech impediment, and slow nature only aided people to bully and belittle him, including his own father. The Coles were indeed a dysfunctional family. At least they were, until they got to the small town near the border between the United States and Canada, Sanguine. Welcome to Sanguine. You will stay. With the exception of the first chapter, each chapter only follows one character. The first chapter is the only chapter in which I will include 'Sides' where it follows a different character. This is a short Lovecraftian story, it won't go above seventeen chapters. Note: the book cover is my first attempt, it might not even remain like it is, I was just tired of seeing the standard 'no cover' thing on it.
8 161 - In Serial30 Chapters
Ex-mob boss in another world
98-year-old Ex-mob boss Antonio alvichi was sentenced to life in prison for murder, he ends up dying of old age but is he really dead? He wakes up in an unfamiliar world with monsters and other strange creatures. What will he do? What will happen to him? How is he gonna live in this new world?
8 110 - In Serial11 Chapters
He Is Mine
Hanya obsesi cinta dan rasa yang meletup-letup di jiwa tak terkendali.Binghe, seorang murid berbakat dengan kepintaran di atas rata-rata. Namun mendadak bodoh jika berhadapan dengan sang guru.Shen Qingqiu, guru muda yang mempunyai masa kelam yang membuatnya menjadi seorang guru yang kejam. Namun di balik itu semua, sebuah rasa kepada muridnya membuatnya berubah.Di saat semua berjalan sempurna, tanpa sadar, Shen Qingqiu membuat orang di sekitarnya salah paham. Segalanya menjadi lebih runyam saat orang dari masa lalunya datang. Shen Qingqiu yang tidak peka pada akhirnya harus berada di posisi tengah, mengambil keputusan yang bijak demi kebaikan dirinya sendiri.Cerita ff pertama tentang BingQiu. my fav cp.😘
8 65 - In Serial21 Chapters
Sna
Юуг ч илэрхийлээгүй хааяа толгойд минь орж ирээд гардаг oneshot-ууд байгаам. Хэсэг бүр нь өөр өөр утгыг агуулах энэ бичвэр нь хоорондоо хялгасан утсаар ч холбогдоогүй юм.
8 311

