It's been almost a month since the last time I saw Travis. I was in an emotional roller coaster about him though. When he crossed my mind I would either be sad or furious but I never knew which it would be.

I was in my office thinking about him while I waited to start my heels class. Reagan and Carmen took the class and it was always fun once they got there, but waiting on them had my mind drifting.

It was finally time for class and I started it as soon as everyone was in. We went through the routine to Top Off and I was feeling tired as shit half way through. When we started the dances I waited until I felt okay for me, Reagan, and Carmen to do it (in mm @ 2:52).

I finished the routine and was fine until I got off the floor. As soon as I stood up, I felt my head spin then everything went black.

****************

I woke up feeling by body being moved around. My eyes fluttered and two of my male students were putting me in a chair.

"I'm good guys" I smiled faintly

"Bitch! You fucking scared me!" Carmen knelt in from of me "What happen?"

"I don't know. I probably just got up to fast"

"Well we need to go to the hospital"

"Now you know---"

"Oh hush" Reagan spoke "Keith is there and is waiting on us. Ralph meeting us there too so you know you really aint got a choice here"

"Ugggghhh! Fine!"

We closed up the studio and headed to the hospital. I talked cash money to them the whole ride there. I hated hospitals and everyone knew it. As soon as we got there, I went worst. Ralph ended up dragging me to the room Keith got for me.

"No lie" I spoke the minute Keith walked in "I appreciate the medical plug but I promise I'm fine Keke! Tell them to take me home!"

"Sis I'm sorry but losing consciousness is serious no matter how you feel about it"

"But---"

"Just relax" he laughed "I'm going to get a nurse to do some blood work and get a urine sample. You just chill while we wait on them to come back"

"I don't like needles Keith" I straight faced him

"You'll be fine sis"

A fine male nurse came to take my blood before I had to go give a urine sample. Keith came back and examine me for any physical bruises. He said I was looking fine and we just had to wait. After almost an hour, I convinced Reagan and Ralph to go get me food. Carmen fat ass just left with them at the sound of food.

I was left in the room with a television and hunger... needless to say I was pissed. I was about to scream when Keith came back in with some papers and looked concerned. I waited for him to speak but he just looked at me.

"Come on"

"Where---"

He pulled me out of the bed and we headed down the hall.

"Keith where we going?"

"What happen before you fell?"

"I told you I was just feeling a little dizzy this morning"

"What about before?"

"I've been fine" I stopped "Keith what's wrong?"

"When's the last time you got sick?"

"I don't know... when I was doing all that traveling" I started freaking out "Keith what's wrong"

"Come on"

He pulled me again and we went into a room. The girl looked shocked when she saw him pulling me.

"Dr.---"

"Leslie this is my sister in law Micah. She umm she needs an umm"

"Does she---"

"Not yet... I want to be sure first"

"Okay"

She grabbed my hand and laid me down on the table. I wasn't until she put the gel and wand on my stomach that shit started clicking.

"Keith?" I spoke feeling my eyes water "What's wrong?"

"Micah just wait"

"Keith please" my voice was at a whisper as I looked away from the screen

He sighed before nodding to the girl. I could hear her hitting buttons before she wiped my stomach. Keith took some papers from her before helping me up. I had tears rolling down my face as we walked through the hallways. He took me into his office and sighed before handing me the paper work and ultrasound.

I shook my head as the tears rolled faster.

"I'm sorry Mic" he sat by "Did you know?"

I shook my head.

"You know I'm here for you. Medically and as family"

I nodded.

"Do you umm you got any questions?"

"How far?"

"Based on the your hormone levels and that ultra sound... you just reached 15 weeks. That's four months. You were feeling sick and dizzy because you're weren't still in the first trimester. You've just entered the second and your body was being overworked"

"Is it okay?"

"You're perfectly health... Umm have you had a period?"

"No" I shook my head "But I haven't had a regular one in years. I'll go six months between periods sometimes" I shrugged "I thought it was stress. That's usually when it happens like that"

"Are you going to tell them?"

I shook my head "Not yet"

"You're secret safe with me"

I nodded before taking a deep breath.

"You think... you think he'll talk to me?"

"He would want to know"

"He's going to hate me" my crying got harder "What do I even say?"

"Just tell him"

"You don't understand Keith" I sighed wiping my face "I can't make it full term"

"What?"

"Yeah... this baby not going to make it"

"Don't say that!" he got serious "Micah you know how much I believe in science and medicine... but I promise you, you don't know what God has plan. You do what you got to do and I'll check on you every week. My cousin is an OBGYN for high risk pregnancy. I can set you an appointment with her. Like don't do that sis" he held my hand "Just relax and try to stay stress free"

I nodded my head knowing I didn't believe a word he said. I decided that I'd just go home. I took a lyft back to the studio and went straight home. I had just enough time to shower and clean my face before Ralph brought my food. He made jokes about me running from the hospital and I played along not wanting to get him started.

Once he was gone, I was finally alone to break down. It wasn't thirty minutes before someone was knocking at the door. I tried to wipe my face and open the door but it was no point. Momma was standing on the other side and as soon as she saw me her face relaxed from the look of concern. I let her in and she immediately went to make some tea.

"How you feeling baby?"

"Fine"

"Lie again"

I chuckled "Ma... I'm okay"

"What happen?"

"I fainted"

"Why?"

I couldn't say it but the tears started rolling again.

"Micah I need you to tell me"

"I can't" I whispered

"Why not?"

"Please ma..."

"Micah is it bad?"

I shrugged.

"Baby---Micah!"

She called after me as I walked to my room to get the papers. When I came back I slid them to her and she immediately started reading. She covered her mouth as her tears fell with mine. She knew about all of my babies and was always there to make me feel better after. I started crying harder and she immediately came to my side.

"Oh baby" she hugged me "I know you're scared"

"Ma it's just going to happen again. It always happens" I shook my head "Why make a big deal out of it anyway"

"You can't think like that"

"It's the truth!"

"Calm down" she wiped my face "We are going to handle this. You are not alone"

"Then I have to tell him" I looked at her "I might hate him right now but I don't want him to know this pain. I don't want to hurt him with the joy of finding out you're going to have a baby only for God to rip it away from you"

"I know sweetheart... but you shouldn't suffer alone. You didn't create this blessing alone. Don't take away his right to know because of the fear of what might happen"

"It's not fear ma, it's my reality"

"Well let it be his too"

"I don't want to hurt him ma" I sighed

"It's not your job to protect him from possibilities. It's your job to be honest and share what you both should experience together Mommy"

I shook my head not wanting to argue about it. I knew my momma and Keith were right. I spent the rest of the day with my momma, being a big baby. I even got her to spend the night and let me cuddle up under her like I use to.