~Sadness~

The days have been the slowest for me. I feel miserable while trying to hide the pain. I went day by day just finding work to do. I had hired dance instructors for the studio and Carmen hired another artist as well. Everyone was trying to get me to talk about it, but I was just ready to move on.

I sat in my office at the studio with my head down trying to block out thoughts of him... thoughts of us. This whole charity show case was his idea though so the minute I looked at the line up he came to mind. I shook my head as someone knocked at the door.

"Come in" I sighed

Raphael, Reagan, and Dave walked in. I rolled my eyes knowing somehow this conversation would go to how I'm feeling or Travis. I shook my head and waited for one of them to speak.

"Hey boo" Reagan went first sitting down "How you been feeling? What's her face said you didn't feel good"

"Rebecca" I laughed

"Yeah her" she laughed "But what's going on?"

"Just been feeling sick lately. Think I'm trying to get a cold or something"

"You gone be good for tomorrow?" Dave asked

"Yeah"

"Finished the line up"

"No" I sighed "Keep getting distracted"

"Yo ADHD ass" Ralph shook his head

"I'm telling"

"Shut up!"

"Pipe down kids" Reagan pointed at both of us

There was a pause before we all burst into laughter. It felt good to laugh with my friends again. I missed smiling and being happy... but it was hard because no matter how happy I'd get, minutes later I would think about Travis and the smile was gone.

"Aight let's be honest" Ralph noticed me "You pretending to be okay is fucking with all of us. We want to be here and support you but you shutting everybody out"

"I'm not trying to" I put my face in my hands "I'm just not trying to deal with that shit right now. I've cried and screamed and been sad. I don't want to feel that. I just want to move on and go back to being me"

"You can't force that shit Sunny" Dave stood up "I understand. I promise I do. But it's just like losing somebody in life. You go through grief when your mind and body is ready. If you sad, be sad. Just don't stop grinding"

I nodded my head before picking up the list of performers.

"I just need to work and stay busy. I don't need to be sad. Just help me work yall"

They all help me organize the line up and then we headed to lunch. I had to admit to them that it made it easier to keep my mind off of being sad being with them. Dave ended up getting a couple artist he knew to volunteer two or three songs. It was mostly artist trying to get their name out there. Chris got a couple of his friend which end up being Trey Songs and August Alsina. They all found my star struck face hilarious when Chris facetime me with them.

By the time the day was over I just started to feel better. I was going to sing a few songs that I've written and ones I just like with Ralph and the band, so I spent the night writing and releasing how I felt in the songs. I went to sleep and the sadness was gone. I finally was moving into the next

*******************

~Anger~

I was getting ready for the show trying to shake the nerves I had. I was never really nervous but this was my baby. Carmen was going to be hosting with me, but I was performing too and I just felt like I needed a drink.

Everyone else however was super hype about the showcase. It was definitely going to bring in a lot of money. We technically already had plenty of donations from the people Dave and Chris got to perform.

Once I was ready I headed to the place and started setting everything up. It was going to be packed out because Dave and Chris has been posting about the show. We had to get more security last minute because of all the people coming. I was going over my songs with the DJ while giving instructions on the order of the known and unknown performers. He eventually told me Dave had already prepped him for the unknown artists he brought.

I headed to the back to chill while they got ready to open the doors. I was greeted by the artist as they came in. When I say I completely fan girl August Alsina. They laughed at me but I was falling in love with his voice alone. The crazy thing was when I stripped I met plenty of celebrities but I never was geeked about it. Today I was extra geeked kicking it with Dave, Chris, Trey, August, Cardi, Pardison, and ASAP Ferg. It was just different. A different level of respect.

"Okay everybody" Carmen walked back in "It's time"

I stood up "Alright. I just want to run through everything. I've told everyone but I'm going to run through the line up again. Pardison, Ralph, Cardi, Ferg, Trey, August, Chris, then the three together, then Chris and Dave, then Dave, and then me" I sighed "You know what let's move me"

"Nope!" Dave, Ralph, and Chris all said

"But guuuuuuuys!"

"This is YOUR show for YOUR studio" Chris smirked "It's time to be headliner baby girl"

"I hate you guys"

"Come on baybeh" August grabbed my hand "I can't wait to hear you sing"

"Somebody get him before I rape him"

They laughed as we headed out though I was dead ass. Carmen and I headed to the stage as people screamed seeing the celebrities.

"What's up! What's up!" Carmen laughed into her mic as I grabbed mine "Thank you all for coming out! Me and my bestie have been dreaming of opening a studio since we met. We've been through so much together so to get our dream" she paused "It means a lot"

"Don't get emotional on me bitch" I pushed her "Alright! Let's get tonight started! First up with have Pardison!"

I got a couple of the girls from the club to come and dance in the middle of the venue on the floor we put in. I made a couple of routines for some of the songs they said they'd perform. Everything was good and the dances were on point. And it was time for Dave and Chris to perform.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

I was vibing in the corner when I saw Travis, Khari, Olivia, Tim, and David walk in. My blood began to boil at the sight of them. I missed Dave's whole performance as I watched them. Reagan came up to the stage noticing them as well and tried to get me to calm down. I just shook my head and focused on Dave who was finishing.

"Alright everybody! We got one more surprise performance" he spoke "Come here Sunny"

I laughed walking on stage.

"So I grew up with this woman right here! I remember her favorite artist and everything! I thought it would only be right to start her set off with a throw back!"

They started playing Single Again by Trina and I fell out laughing at the level of petty Dave was on. He backed up and I started singing the chorus.

I'm single again, back on the prowl

I thought he was perfect, I don't know how

I'm single again, back on the prowl

I thought he was perfect, I don't know how

I'm single again

Once it hit the verse I was shook hearing rapping behind me. I turned around and my idol growing up was smiling at me as she rapped her song. I was super geeked.

You know how they do, how they act

See you with another man and they want you back

(Whoo whoo) My ass still fat

(Whoo whoo) they still

Checking for me, and never will you find another bitch like me, and I don't care what your

Friends say what we had was like Jay and Beyonce

Or was it all a dream

Back seat in the phantom sipping that lean

We party like rock stars, we sex like porn stars, I'll take you a million bars

I'm single again, back on the prowl

I thought he was perfect, I don't know how

I'm single again, back on the prowl

I thought he was perfect, I don't know how

I'm single again

Stop calling me apologizing, don't even start it

Hope you find what you looking for

Back on the market

Let's agree to disagree, don't explain shit to me

I got my own money, there's nobody I need I need I need my own space

I'm single again, who's who I'm mingling wit

Ball players center seats to the game

Ring side still doing my thing

Change my number, switch my cars up

Six months with you match my cars up

It all started so promising

Got my own diamonds so I gave him back the promise ring

I'm single again, back on the prowl

I thought he was perfect, I don't know how

I'm single again, back on the prowl

I thought he was perfect, I don't know how

I'm single again

Hold up

Wait a got damn minute

It ain't over till I say we finish (we finish)

Till get my half, then I sit back, relax

And just laugh (ha ha)

At the times we shared, like flying over B-More, high in the G-4,

Smoking on Cali bud that's how a real G show a bitch Cali love (Cali love)

Sex in the Cot pit, no love I was just another object (object)

You fell in love with my ass

King magazine you fell in love with my ad (my ad)

Twenty G's in the Prada bag (Prada bag)

And I'm about to ball out

Had to get my mind right I'm back in the lime light, Fellas!

I'm single again, back on the prowl

I thought he was perfect, I don't know how

I'm single again, back on the prowl

I thought he was perfect, I don't know how

I'm single again

We finish the song together and I got to hug her.

"Dave told me how much you loved my music and how you started dancing to it" she spoke in the mic "I want to come help celebrate the opening of your studio and donate ten racks!"

"Oh My God!" I screamed hugging her again

"Now! Let me do another one for yall!"

The beat drop to and she started rapping a song never heard before. I hit the stage in the second verse and started dancing with a couple of the dancers. It took my mind off of everything. After she was done, I ran back on stage and hugged her. She departed to the VIP area all the performers were in.

Carmen hit the mic and thanked everyone again while I calmed down. She introduced me and I walked on stage,

"Hey yall" I laughed nervously "I'm to do a couple of songs.... some I wrote, some I just like... a couple are recent and others are old. Most haven't even been released" I laughed "Just vibe with me though. This first one, one of my newest home girl I met wrote and hopefully will release soon because I love it and it speaks to me"

The music started and I vibed with it.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

I finished my set of songs and everyone was cheering... everyone but the crew of hate that looked between shocked and pissed. I laughed about to walk off stage until Chris walked up.

"Wait a minute" he grabbed me

"Wha---"

"I just want to thank Micah for bringing together a bunch of great artist for a great cause. Umm I didn't know that Micah wrote music until I walked up on her mid song"

"Because he nosey" I joked

"Whatever!" He pushed me "Anyway, we started playing around and ended up writing a song together and I want to perform it with her" he smirked "If she bout it?"

I laughed hearing the beat play. Instead of answering, I just started the song.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

When the song was over people were turnt about it but the only person I was looking at was Travis. His face was void of any expression. As the DJ started playing music, he stood up and left with his people behind him.

I shook my head feeling my anger rising. For some reason I expected a fucking apology for him. I thought it would be proof enough that nothing every happen with us. I knew that's why Chris did it. Once I told Dave what happen, I had to convince him and Chris not to pull up on Travis about it. They wanted to help but I knew it didn't matter what they said. I also felt like it wasn't about the allegation anymore, it was the fact that he chose to believe them.

I went through the rest of the night ignoring the anger I felt and forced myself to have a good time. Once we shut the venue down, I was drunk and sleepy. Dave took me home and spent the night on the couch. I went to sleep thinking about Travis. The tears were definitely gone and I just wanted to beat his ass.