《HAVEN ✔ ( UPDATED )》Thirty-One
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Rhett and I take an early dinner at the mess hall, and I can't help but salivate as steaming food is heaped onto my plate. He even convinces the server to give me an extra helping of bread, knowing it was always my favorite. I grin broadly at my brother.
"I missed you so much, Rhett," I say earnestly before stuffing a roll into my mouth. I want to elaborate, but doing so would lead to more questions that can't be answered.
My brother graces me with a warm smile, his blue-violet eyes crinkled at the corners. "I missed you more, Soph. You have no idea." He shakes his head once, as if dismissing a thought before reaching over and squeezing my hand. "So tell my what I've been missing out on for the past two years!"
After an hour of talking about Herald, Mom and Dad, Miles and Markee, we finish our meal. Rhett brings me up to the room that had been prepared for me in what they call the Dorm. Showing me inside, he hugs me one last time before leaving, promising me that he'd be back in the morning with answers. As I fling myself back on the mattress, the echo of my brother's words fly in circles around my head.
Knowing what I do now, would I go back?
More importantly, why was I sought after and brought here in the first place? Why is my attendance so imperative? My patience is running thin, and I'm suffering for it.
Markee was right. They meant to capture me.
But the information I have is not enough, and I won't gain any more knowledge until the morning. Pushing the incessant thoughts out of my brain, and ignoring the uneasy feeling at the idea of the people of Perseca wanting me all along, I sit up with a huff. I find myself looking straight into an open door, gleaming white tile winking back at me. A bathroom? I jump up.
Shower!
I'm practically naked by the time I enter the room, eager to cleanse myself of the past week. It's all clean white tile and glistening silver fixtures. I have never been more grateful for a toilet and indoor plumbing. More than anything, the shower is calling my name. I silently send out my thanks for the shower having simple controls as I turn on the water—hot water—and step in.
I spend time under the wide spray, letting the water beat into my stiff muscles before washing my hair—twice. Meticulously, I clean the dirt from beneath my fingernails and scrub my skin of grime and tears and guilt.
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I am fascinated by the soap I am provided—it is luxurious. Rich and creamy, it creates a fragrant lather that surprises me for even existing in the Outlands. It seems Perseca really is different than other cities outside of Herald.
After a lengthy bathtime, I towel off and wrap myself in one of the fluffy white robes from the closet before exiting the bathroom and surveying my lodgings.
The bed is soft and springy, adorned with warm cream-colored pillows and duvet. Against one wall is a set of drawers beside the bathroom door, and on another wall leans a desk and lamp, sitting just below a glass-paned window. Surrounding it all are four walls that do nothing to keep my curiosity confined.
I approach an unmarked door set into the wall shared by my bed. I turn the knob, but the door won't open. I frown, fidget with the lock, and try again, but the door will not budge. Tossing the problem to the back of my mind, I huff and plop back down on the bed.
My eyes open to a knocking sound. I blink at the absurdity that I fell asleep so early. Then again, both my mind and body have been put under stress lately--Rhett was right about needing rest. I slide out of bed and go to open the bedroom door, except there is no one on the other side. I peer into the wainscoted hallway only to find it empty.
Confused, and a little bit frightened, I close the door and flip the lock. Just as I step away, I hear another knock, but it's coming from another direction: the door next to my bed that would not budge.
I take a breath to settle my nerves and move toward it. My hand has the slightest tremble as I turn the cold metal knob, opening the door just a crack. The sight on the other side makes me exhale.
Luke.
He seems freshly showered with damp hair and clean clothes, looking slightly too tall for the doorframe. I swallow. Is he still angry with me?
"I thought you would have left by now," I falter.
Luke pushes his fingers through his hair, glancing down at the floor tiles and then back up again before grunting. "I told you that I would stay with you. I meant it," he says shortly.
His words shake me, and for some reason, my chest feels a little lighter. I can feel the relief and joy flooding my veins. I realize I was so terribly afraid to lose him, and when I next inhale, I feel the leftover weight and tension that has been tearing me up from the inside.
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"What's wrong?"
I blink and meet his green, green irises. "What makes you think something is wrong?"
A smirk graces the corner of his lips, but just like that, it vanishes. "You're rolling your shoulders, staring off into space, and sucking in air like you're suffocating."
I frown. Am I? I didn't know he would still notice things like that. I still my shoulders and work to steady my breaths, contemplating. I want to confide in him. I want back that level of trust and easiness we had on the road. My entire being yearns to lean on him, but I stifle the urge, and instead reveal only a small part of what plagues me.
"Just... the thought of an entire scheme going on behind my back gives me chills. I don't like the thought of others dictating my life. It makes me feel like my choices aren't my own." My skin crawls with inky realization. Even though I didn't know it then, it's no different from how I was living in Herald. The Council dictates the lives of its citizens. They cover up the truth and scheme right under their noses to do it. They are blinded by the Council, just like I was.
I'm broken out of my epiphany by the warmth on Luke's hand on mine. My eyes follow the movement as he brings it up to place my hand on his chest and covers it with his palm. I inhale, feeling, relishing, absorbing his heartbeat.
I lift my eyes to meet his. They're peering into mine, searching, but what could he be looking for? Can he see the regret in my heart? The empty space inside of me where he once resided? Unable to hold his intense gaze, I peer past him, seeing into the suite behind him.
"Is that your room?" I murmur, brooding over the chest of drawers identical to mine sitting against the far wall.
Ever the silent type, Luke nods and drops my hand. I tuck it into the pocket of my robe.
Robe. I'm wearing nothing but a robe. My neck warms and I remind myself to look through the bureau for some actual clothes.
"Did you know?" I ask, unable to stop the words taking flight from my lips.
Luke's eyelashes kiss his cheeks as he blinks at me. "Know what?" His eyebrows knot in my favorite way.
"All this time, did you know they wanted me here? Is that why you brought me?" I thought for sure Luke would have told me if that were the case, but we're so different now. There is a seedling of doubt that fuels my anxiety. I need to know.
Luke steps toward me, encasing me in his warm aura. "I didn't, Sophie. I promise, I was just as clueless as you." His brows raise in earnest, and somehow, I believe him. His non-involvement alleviates the worry imbedded at the back of my mind, and breathing becomes a little bit easier.
I nod, taking a page from his book. It takes everything within me to keep myself from going to him and resting my head on that strong chest. I can almost hear his heartbeat in my ear, nearly feel his chest move with each inhale and exhale. Smell the soap on his skin and the detergent in his shirt. I want to go back to the beginning—to before I ruined whatever was between Luke and I. I want it more than I can bear.
But I can't. I have to be strong by myself.
"Thank you," I croak, looking away. My throat is tight, sorrow and relief and longing barely restrained. He doesn't reply, and I gather the courage to glance back at him.
His mouth is a flat line, but his eyes are anything but cold. He steps away. "Goodnight, Sophie."
With that, he closes the door, leaving me alone in the room with only a wall between us.
Only a wall, my mind echoes as I lay back on the bed, as if that is the only thing keeping us apart. As I drift off to sleep, I question if I will be able to take my own advice and quell my feelings for Luke.
Because if I've learned anything, it's that we always end up where we're meant to be.
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