I spent the day crying.

I don't know I told her to leave.

I don't know why I said all those rude things to her.

I love her.

Why did I push her out?

"Don't start being dramatic, " My mother scoffed. "Sort your posture out. Play."

I sat up at the piano, getting ready to play after wiping my tears. Jin just sat here, I never talked to him after that day.

Why didn't I take her with me?

Why didn't I just stay at home?

I sniffed, wiping my nose and continued playing.

It wasn't the same without her.

She wouldn't get as angry as my eomma would. She would tell me to just try again. She would get me gifts for playing well and she would kiss and cuddle me.

She was soft with it.

My Eomma isn't.

"Jisoo." She glared at me. I looked at her tiredly. I feel so empty and sad without Chaeyoung. She makes me happy, yet I'm forced away from her.

Maybe, I regret it.

"Sorry, I'll go again," I can't be bothered to argue with her right now.

I played and played until I could no longer feel my fingers. I tiredly flopped down to the floor. There was a knock at the door and my mother went to open it.

"Oh, Jennie!" I perked up at her name. I sat up, smiling at her when she looked at me.

She didn't smile back.

I mean, I don't blame her. I just broke her best friend's heart.

"I'll leave you, two girls, alone, " My mother said, leaving us in my room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jennie asked, locking the door so my mother wouldn't come in. "Why did you do that, huh?"

I looked down, fiddling with my fingers.

"Answer me."

"I-I..." I didn't know what to say. There was no reason. The reasons I gave her were just me being emotional. "I don't know..."

"You don't know?" She scoffed.

"Eomma made me, Jen." She sighed, slumping onto the floor. "It's not like I wanted to!"

"Then why didn't you run away? Move away? Live with me? You even bought yourself a new house!" She sounded frustrated.

"I'm sorry, " I whispered. "Can you tell her that? I'm sorry and if we're meant to be, I'll find my way back to her."

"You will." She said firmly. "You are meant to be."

I sighed, laying on the floor. "I don't think we are..." I chuckled. "I think I should just stop trying. She'll find someone better. With a better eomma too, " I covered my face with my eyes.

She pulled my arms away, slapping me. I hissed, glaring at her. "What the heck-"

"Shut up! You love her so much! She loves you so much! How dare you drop trying!? Before your big show too!? It's the biggest show you'll ever have and after everything she's done for you, you're going to drop it!?"

I stared at her blankly.

"You're hurting the heck out of her. You're hurting yourself too."

I felt my tears well up.

"If you don't make it up with her, I'm done. Seriously, Chu. Last time it was your choice. This time I'm telling you to take her back."

"I can't, " I whispered, tears threatening to fall as she looked at me confusedly.

"Why?"

"Because I'm too weak. I can't anymore. Eomma makes me feel like I don't deserve her. And she's true, I don't. I've never done anything for her. I've never been there for her. I'm so stupid and blind. I hurt her once and I did it again!" I let my tears fall, not caring about it anymore.

"I love her so much, Jen! I do...! But I can't."

Jennie looked at me, pity in her eyes. She hugged me, rubbing my back as she whispered apologies for raising her voice earlier. I accepted them, hugging her back as I cried.

"It's okay, Chu." She said sweetly. "Try and get her back once you're ready."

"If she doesn't find someone new, I will. I will get her back."

It's been three months. It's only a couple of weeks before my show and I haven't spoken to her since. I see her with Lisa or Jennie, but I always avoid conversation with her.

I'm so close to beating my mother. I can almost see it.

The only thing eating me up inside is that I'm alone. I've been lonely without her.

She isn't in a relationship either, but she looks happier and healthier. Whenever I see her with Jennie, she's practically glowing.

I'm jealous.

Jealous that she's moved on that quick.

Jennie always tried to get me to talk to her. I always refuse. I can't.

Not after hurting her so bad.

We've talked once or twice.

Once was when she collected her stuff from the shared house, telling me she found a stable job and has bought a house for her and her mother. She now works as a singer. She took on that career and has hit the top markets.

I'm proud of her.

Two, when Jennie had invited us all out for a hangout and she talked to me about the new dog she bought.

Hank.

She told me my dog, Dalgom, and her dog should have a date together. I agreed, never setting up a date.

I sat at the piano, beat and tired as I rehearsed over and over again.

My competition was soon.

And I'm planning on taking everything back.

I'm almost at the top, I'm as famous as she is.

Everyone knows my name.

I will take what I owned back.

Even her.