"Ama me fideliter, fidem meam toto, decorde totaliter, et ex mente tota, sum presentialiter, absens in remota." -Unknown

Love me faithfully, see how I am faithful, with all my heart and all my soul, I am with you, even though I am far away.

"Just in, majority of people in Australia voted yes to same-sex marriage. Making today, December 9, 2017, a history in our country. From here, there on, marriages of two men, two women and everyone in between is legalized and valid in the government's eyes now..."

The television droned on and on and on and on but Brett didn't hear the rest of it. The tears of happiness immediately started falling from his eyes. It feels as though a large burden from him chest and shoulders have been lifted.

His love is now valid and made stronger with a marriage.

Yes, Eddy was still not in love with him but he could live with that fact. He has mostly moved on, seeing how happy Eddy was that they stayed as best friends. For now, all Brett could do was cry.

He immediately went up to his room and looked for a journal. He found the old notebook and immediately hugged it to his chest. He kissed it and still cried his eyes out.

They have done it, Kotek. You could marry Edward now.

His brain thought as he skimmed through the pages of the journal in front of him. He was still crying out of happiness and relief at the same time. Maybe it was a portion of his past life that is rejoicing with him but he does not mind.

"Brett, we need to talk..." Papa Yang said with a serious voice.

"I'm not in trouble or anything, am I?" Brett asked jokingly, lowering the volume of the television.

"No... I just heard that you saw the news already. It's a good thing you could finally marry whoever you want to." Papa Yang said, sitting down next to him on the couch.

"Pa, if this is about marriage again then I really have no one in mind." Brett replied, not looking at his father. "Pa, I was only ever attracted to one man. That doesn't mean I'm just gonna marry a man." He added, still avoiding the questioning eyes of his father.

"You say that as if Eddy isn't in your mind when I say marriage..." Papa Yang said, looking at his son.

Brett didn't say anything more and just listened to the news.

"Son, it's okay to still love him... I know it might not feel like that's not the case, but it's completely normal. Don't beat yourself up too much because you can't forget the feeling overnight. Or if you find yourself still wanting to hold him close to you or protect him." Papa Yang assured and Brett just listened.

"You love him and I understand. I get that some people will call you dumb and ask you to move on as if it was easy... But it's not easy, son. Just know that whatever you might decide on, it'll be okay." Papa Yang added, patting his son's shoulder.

"Pa, thanks. I was afraid of telling anyone because that's what they all tell me. Thank you for reassuring me... It really means a lot." Brett said, standing up and carrying his violin case.

He was about to go to Eddy's apartment to film. His dad just nodded and he left. It was hard living like this, but just because his best friend didn't love him back it doesn't mean that his world will stop. The world, of course, doesn't revolve around him.

He pulled up in Eddy's front yard and knocked on Eddy's door with his violin case in hand. Eddy opened the door, looking too tired. His hair was everywhere, his eyes were bloodshot and he didn't even smile or greet Brett.

Brett didn't say anything more but just entered the home. He sat down on the couch wordlessly and waited for Eddy to speak. Eddy sat down next to Brett and decided to speak up.

"I couldn't sleep recently..."

"Why is that, Eddy? Are you okay?" Brett asked, facing his best friend.

"I don't know what I feel anymore... I still love her even after we broke up like three months ago. I feel like I wouldn't be loved like that again. Like I wouldn't be loved so unconditionally again." Eddy said with despair. "But at the same time, I felt guilty for taking her love. I feel like I wasn't giving all of them my entire love." Eddy explained.

"Them?"

"Both of them. As much as I wanted to love them both unconditionally, it feels like my heart is reserved for someone else. I don't feel completely in love with them." Eddy started, looking back in Brett's soft stare. "Maybe, you were right about soulmates. Maybe they do exist and I have to start looking for mine." Eddy added.

Brett had no words for that, but he wanted to scream. To scream to Eddy that he was already there but he wanted to be civil. He just nodded as a confirmation for Eddy.

"You know, your words will be reassuring now." Eddy said jokingly but Brett knew he meant it.

"I agree... But don't feel pressured to do so. If it's a soulmate, you'll feel and see it. Don't worry too much, okay? You don't always need someone to love you. Loving yourself is much powerful." Brett said hesitantly, trying to mean it.

"If I ask you a question, would you answer it honestly?"

"Of course I will. I never lied to you." Brett said, meaning it.

Eddy took a deep breath and just spoke his mind.

"Do you still love me?"

"It depends on what you want to hear. Would you hate me if I tell you that I still do?" Brett asked back, looking at his best friend with so much love.

"No... I don't hate you. I could never hate you even if I tried." Eddy said honestly, too.

"Then I still love you. Like I said two years ago... I'm not expecting you to return the feeling. I just answered you because you asked me to be honest." Brett replied, not looking anymore.

Eddy nodded, not knowing why he asked. He smiled at Brett, looking at his friend who was looking away from him.

"Well, I'm glad that someone still loves me... But why, Brett? After all these years, you still love me. Why, Brett? Don't get me wrong, I'm not invalidating your feelings. I just don't get how you could love me for so long?" Eddy asked again, not knowing the response he'll get but wanting to hear it anyway.

"Not that I could stop ever loving. It's just, you're you. I can't help but love you and there's days where I hoped I would stop because even if I did love you, it's not enough. I respected the boundary you set, me as your best friend almost like your brother. You know, I was, I never had a hard time loving you... It always came so easy and I don't regret any of the times I did love you." Brett said honestly.

"But how come you never let me know again and again until it's drilled to my head?" Eddy asked, nearing Brett.

"I didn't wanna force my love..." Brett replied, leaning in the touch subconsciously. "I wanted you to love me because you wanted to." Brett added, trying to add the distance between them.

"Brett, I-"

"Eddy, I know. It's okay... I'm okay. We're okay." Brett reassured.

"Thank you..." Eddy said, smiling at Brett. "Have you heard the news?" Eddy asked.

"Yeah..." Brett replied.

"It's very good news. I'm happy for the people who could now marry their partners."

"Me too..."

The silence between them was comfortable. They were okay. Brett wasn't lying when he said that they will be okay.

Eddy looked at his friend who had his eyes closed. Something in his chest fluttered at the sight. Brett was leaning back on the couch and his eyes were closed. He looked so much in peace, no worries etched on his face. This was one of the rarest moments he had not seen in a while.

Eddy felt a breath of air lost in his system and his stomach with a certain heaviness. He feels happy now. He's very, very happy.

"Brett?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you really happy? I know that this isn't entirely your dream."

"It isn't, but it's better than my dream. I'm really happy where I stand in my life, Eddy. I wouldn't ask for more because I have been given more than I needed." Brett said honestly.

Eddy was hanging on to the words as though it were his own words. As though they were his prayers and he wished they were. That's when it all hit Eddy. All at once with a heavy slap...

He completely was in love.