《Et Nos Cedamus Amori》XXVII.

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"Dum spiro spero." -Latin phrase

While I breathe, I hope.

"So, Brett and Eddy, could you guys play at the wedding?" Belle asked, looking at the two next to each other.

"Of course!" Eddy exclaimed.

"Yeah, of course we will." Brett answered, smiling at the couple.

"Thanks guys, you're the best." Alexander said, holding Belle's hand and resting it on top of the table.

Brett and Eddy just smiled at the two.

They went back to the conversation they were having just now.

"Hey Brett, you really believe that my soulmate is somewhere out there?" Eddy asked, eyes full of hope and longing.

Brett silently prayed that his eyes didn't mirror that look.

"I believe so. Besides, as my mother told me before, not all soulmates end up together." Brett reminded, maybe more for him than the younger man.

They were quiet for a while, until Eddy smiled. Brett just looked at Eddy with the hope and longing. It lives in Eddy's eyes, too. Eddy observed the couples on the tables and how it would've been nice if he was with someone, too.

"What about you, boys? Any ladies that you might wanna marry?" Mama Chen asked with a slight chuckle, looking at them.

"Unfortunately, I have no one in mind, Mrs. Chen." Brett replied with a polite smile.

"What about you, Eddy? How is that girl you are dating, the very attractive one?" She asked again.

Alexander, mama Yang and Papa Yang were quiet, knowing what his brother and their son felt. They didn't want to add to it.

"Oh yeah, what happened with Toni?" Belle asked, smiling at his brother, oblivious to anything.

"Ma, we broke up a year and a half ago. She's now with her soulmate." Eddy said quietly, clearing his throat afterwards.

"Such a shame, lah. We already approved of her." Mama Chen added.

Brett was quiet during the conversation, not really feeling like talking now. He just got on with his dessert as the others start talking again. He really thought he was okay but the reminders were too much. He wiped his mouth and excused himself to the bathroom.

He walked in and immediately went in a stall. The tears were dripping already so he had to hide. Suddenly, he felt so small and so hidden. He quickly wiped them away, knowing he couldn't take too long in there.

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He went out of the stall and looked at himself in the mirror. He really didn't want to see himself right now, so he avoided it. Brett washed his hands and immediately went out of the bathroom. He was met with Eddy walking toward him now.

"You okay?" Eddy asked, looking at Brett to properly check on Brett.

"Yeah, I feel a lot better after peeing. Thanks for asking." Brett said with a little laugh, joking around again to find himself out of the situation.

"Okay, let's head back then." Eddy said after chuckling at the joke.

They headed back to the table and Belle was talking about who she wants as a maid of honor.

"I know it's not really traditional but ma can I have Eddy as my maid of honor?" Belle asked as the two sat down.

Mama Chen frowned a little. She really didn't like the idea.

"Why would you want him to be there? What would people say, Belle? That your brother is gay?" Mama Chen asked, silencing the entire table.

"But ma, he's not wearing a dress." Belle argued with a small voice.

"Still. What will our family say, huh?" Mama Chen said, quite offended.

Brett looked hurt at the words he had heard but he didn't want to fight. It was not about him or his preference anyway. Mama Yang was quick to look at Brett with an apologetic look. Papa Chen cleared his throat and the silence was ringing in their ears.

"Well ma, it's Belle's wedding. She could do whatever she wants as long as it makes her happy." Papa Chen said, smiling at his daughter as he held her hand.

It was like papa Chen understood what everyone but mama Chen in the table felt. Mama and Papa Yang couldn't respond even if they were angry. Brett was just numb now, knowing that the bit of hope in his head had disappeared. Alex was just quiet, knuckles white on top of his lap and hidden away from the table. Eddy and Belle just felt embarrassed.

Belle droned on about what she wanted for her wedding with Alexander. Alex took mental notes so that they could go over it with more depth later. Eddy was talking to everyone else while Brett was just silent. The words of mama Chen repeating in his mind.

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It was more painful than Eddy's direct rejection. It was like mama Chen had immediately told him that he wouldn't be accepted in the family if ever they were together. He couldn't bring himself to speak any word at all.

It shouldn't really affect him much since Eddy isn't really in love with him. Yet, the pain was lingering and persisting. Just pinpricks that stab him over and over again.

Maybe it's why Eddy wanted a traditional wedding with a bride and in a church. It just sucked because Brett knew that two men or two women can't get married. Not in front of a church and not in front of anywhere else, really.

"Brett, listen, we have to think of the perfect piece for their wedding." Eddy started after the awkward silence.

"Well, my brother was a cellist and your sister was a pianist. They surely have a preference, right?" Brett said, laughing a little bit.

"That's true but they already have a bias on Saint-Saens' The Swan." Eddy said, laughing back.

A piece pops to Brett's mind but he was afraid to say it out loud. He can't bring himself to do so. It will just hurt more than he is anticipating.

"What about that other one? The Franck violin sonata but only the first movement?" Eddy suggested and Brett felt everything freeze.

Never different from our past life, aren't you, Eddy Chen? Brett thought, looking at Eddy with a soft smile.

"How will we even play that? We're not proficient enough in piano to play that." Brett said, very concered.

"Well, we have a year to practice it." Eddy said, smiling at Brett.

Brett returned the smile again as he droned out Eddy talking about the piece. Brett just looked at him there, softly smiling at the words the love of his life is muttering right now.

Papa Yang saw everything and felt a bit of pain for his son. He knew exactly what it feels like to falling love with someone who doesn't love him back. Still, he saw the same gentle determination from his older son.

But he doesn't exactly know what it might feel like to fall in love with someone of the same sex. He reckoned that it's the same as falling in love with someone of the opposite sex. The only difference is the possibility of requital is less.

It was painful enough falling in love with someone you can't have. But falling in love with someone when you can't change who you are? That had to be inflicted within you.

Brett surely can't change to become a woman. It's possible, but he identify as a man. Besides, even if he was desperate, he wouldn't stoop that low on order to be loved back. He believes that it's natural, how people will fall in love.

That no matter what you do, no matter how much you bend your back to their needs, you could never truly be loved back unless it's their real feelings. Yes, it might be painful yet Brett felt like the pain has purpose. The pain is set as a reminder.

A reminder to love again. A reminder that loving again doesn't mean loving the same person. A reminder that the pain will end.

"Hey pa?" Mama Yang whispered to her husband, tapping lightly on his shoulder.

"Hmm?" Papa Yang asked back, smiling at his wife.

"I'm sorry for making you wait so long before..." Mama Yang said again, holding his hand with hers and resting her head in his shoulder.

"The wait was worth everything, ma. Don't worry... I'll love you either way, anyway." Papa Yang whispered, squeezing their interlocked hands.

Alexander was happy about his engagement, but he wasn't happy for his brother. Mama Chen just made Brett's family uncomfortable but they didn't speak about it. He will remember to apologize to Brett when they get home.

After a while, they all bid their goodbyes and went home. The Yang family were glad that it was over. They were happy but it was stressful just talking for hours.

"Brett, will you drive us home?" Papa Yang asked, holding mama Yang by her waist.

"Yeah, just hop on in." Brett said, entering the car too.

With that, they're going home.

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