"Amans iratus multa mentitur." -Publilius Syrus

An angry lover tells himself many lies.

"Eddy, you don't love me anymore. What are you so scared of?" Toni whispered as they sat down together.

"I'm not scared of anything!" Eddy said, defending everything he had said.

"Then why are you so riled up? Eddy, I'm already engaged... We can't be together. I'm already happy with him. He is my soulmate." Toni said, smiling at Eddy with pity.

"I know... I just wanted to make you aware. That's all." Eddy said, hating how much he sounded like Brett.

Sounding so lovestruck yet so full of hopelessness.

"Eddy, did you really think that the moment you tell me that you love me again, we'll get back together and pick up where we left off?" Toni asked.

"Is it bad that I was expecting that even if it were far from the truth?" Eddy answered with a question, feeling a physical pain in his chest.

"Eddy, that's never going to happen. You need to hear this, no matter how painful. You said this is what Brett had said when he fessed up, right?"

Eddy only nodded.

"You now know what it feels. He only wanted to tell you, but he was aware that the chances of his love being requited was little. It was not completely null, that's for sure but he knew it was hopeless. But it wasn't completely wrong for him to have a little ounce of hope."

"Your point?"

"Eddy, our situation now is different from his... Us, we don't stand a chance anymore. Him, he could hold on to a bit of hope that you gave him the past year and a half. What he felt was real and it was valid. I mean, the man has been in love with you before he even realized it for himself." Toni concluded, looking at Eddy with a knowing look.

"Wow, thanks for consoling my feelings of guilt, I guess." Eddy said sarcastically.

"This is what's wrong, Eddy. You don't listen to others very well. You always make a move if it's convenient for you. Yes, it's not always selfish but you hurt people without knowing."

"But isn't that what all humans do? Hurt others without knowing?"

"Yes, we do. But people like Brett exist, too. The ones who shelter the pain within them in order to avoid others from hurting."

With that, Eddy was quiet. But he was just being honest and transparent, right?

"But I was just being honest... Isn't it better than just hiding your feelings away?" Eddy asked, trying to ease the guilt within him.

"Eddy, hiding feelings is not dishonesty. Sometimes, people are afraid of letting themselves be seen. Not everyone has the luxury to just say what they have to say and not suffer consequences. You're lucky that he loves you so much that he always takes the fall for you both. You have the privilege to be whoever you want with him." Toni again said, trying to make Eddy see what he needs to.

"But I don't want that. I don't want anyone to save me."

"He's not trying to save you or protect you, Eddy. He's only allowing you to be whoever you wanna be."

Eddy sighed, the guilt stirring in the pits of his stomach even more.

"I just don't understand why he wants to shoulder the pain. I don't get why he would sacrifice so much for me. I'm not anything special and so is he."

"Maybe it has something to do with his past self. You never had visions of past him and past you?"

"Never had one. Maybe his soulmate is a different person. Maybe we both just had the same name. Who knows, maybe his soulmate is another Eddy Chen? Because if we're soulmates, why don't i have visions yet?"

Toni closed her eyes. She clenched her fist, she was trying to be patient but Eddy was making it so hard for her. Suddenly, the tears just flowed down her face.

She was so tired of this but if Eddy can't see it now, then maybe it will hit him harder once he sees for himself. Toni feels too guilty for letting Brett down but Eddy didn't listen to her.

"What? Why are you crying?" Eddy asked, very concerned for his friend.

"Nothing... Yeah, maybe you're right." Toni concluded, wiping her tears.

I'm sorry, Brett. He can't see it now, but he will eventually. Don't worry, he might not love you now but I'm sure that if he already does, he'll love you as much as you love him. Fuck, this is so painful. Toni thought but didn't say out loud.

"I know..." Eddy said, rubbing her back as she stopped herself from crying.

- - - - -

"What's with the sudden change of plan? I thought you weren't going with me, lah." Brett's mom asked, getting ready in front of the mirror.

"I just wanna look around with you in the mall. If you wanna do some shopping you could shop heavily, I'm here to help you anyway." Brett said, not wanting to talk about why he really came with his mother.

"Okay, let's hurry up then." Mama Yang said, exiting their home and proceeding to the car.

After hours of shopping, his mother decided that they should eat. They went to their favorite Chinese restaurant. She said she was too tired to cook, so they'll just order takeout for Alex and Papa Yang.

When they've settled with their food, they ate together silently. Until mama Yang decided to speak to him.

"You know, I'm not getting any younger. Even you and your dad... So if you wanna marry and have children, you have my approval." Mama Yang started, subtly hinting at Brett's love life.

Brett looked down and just ate, trying to look for the words to say.

"Yeah, I'll get married once I find a bride that you'll approve of. Right now, I don't really have anyone in mind." Brett decided, trying to drift away from the conversation.

He really didn't want to be reminded of his failed attempt of trying to have a relationship with his best friend that goes beyond just being friends. Needless to say, he was definitely failing at that one.

"It doesn't have to be a bride. If you've ever fallen in love with a man and you can't get married, it's also fine with me. As long as I see you with someone who loves you, that will be fine." Mama Yang replied.

"Yeah, thanks ma. Don't worry, I really don't have anyone in mind right now. But I'll tell you, yeah?" Brett reassured, looking at her with a smile.

Mama Yang was quiet for a while. He knew Brett was hiding something. So, she decided to speak up.

"How about that soulmate thing?"

Brett almost choked but kept himself calm.

"Oh, the one with Eddy? Ma, we're just friends. I think he still loves his ex." Brett said, knowing he can't avoid the topic anymore. "Besides, soulmates don't always end up together, right?" Brett added.

Mama Yang suddenly remembered. She now felt sorry, knowing that the words were uttered by her. She didn't know what to say so she let Brett continue. Brett cleared his throat before speaking up again.

"How about Alexander? He told you that he was planning on marrying Belle, right?" Brett asked, thankful that he immediately thought of it to divert the conversation topic.

"He did but I don't want him to marry, yet."

"Why not, ma? He could give you grandchildren."

"I know he can, but it's too early. He's too young to marry, but I'm not against him marrying Belle. Maybe just two more years." Mama Yang replied, carefully chewing her food.

"Ma, he's just a year younger than me. Surely that doesn't make that much of a difference. Besides, Belle is old enough to handle having children." Brett defended.

"I know she is."

"Wait, are you scared of Alex going to London with her after they marry?"

Mama Yang was quiet as she didn't look up from her meal.

"It's not that..."

"Ma, you and pa wouldn't be alone. I promise... I'm still here, no significant other."

"Thank you, Brett. But you have to settle down someday. I'm telling you, get married before you get too famous. You might have a hard time looking for someone when you're popular." Mama Yang warned.

"I know, ma. Don't worry." Brett reassured, smiling at his mother.

Suddenly, he felt comfortable talking to his mom about what he was feeling right now.

"Ma, I really like Eddy." He said, not filtering his words anymore.

Mama Yang just nodded. It wasn't exactly new news for her.

"I know. You've always loved him even of you were younger. You act as if you're not my child. I saw your panic when you roll me who your soulmate is." Mama Yang chuckled.

"How come you never told me, ma?"