End of June 2020

T minus 2 days

Madiha

I was awake before my 7 am alarm had gone off. But I stayed in bed clutching my pillow, watching the warm sunlight streaming in through my windows light up my relatively bare room. Soon this would not be my room. I had never accepted this apartment as mine anyway.

That's why I never furnished it, other than the bare basics, or kept the fridge well stocked much to Omar's horror. Maybe, that's why I didn't want to cook in this place either, even though I definitely knew my way around a kitchen. I was pretty good at cooking too, when I wanted to, that is.

And I wanted to cook...for my husband, and decorate our house, and take care of our babies.

And love him for the rest of my life

In a few hours, today would be the first day of the rest of our lives. It may have taken us a while to get here, but we were here! Despite the pandemic, despite our families, despite society's prejudices, Omar and I had persevered.

Omar and I...husband and wife

I broke out in a huge smile as thoughts of him drifted through my mind, and I buried my face in the pillow, suddenly feeling shy for some reason. Though, who was I kidding? I knew the reason why. I was marrying a man I am pretty sure I had a crush on since even before I met him, since the moment I saw his picture in my email that contained a list of all the new interns.

I would never admit this to anyone, but I still remembered how my heart had skipped a beat when I saw that he had paged me from the ER on the first day the new interns had started. Like I was a high school girl about to meet the most popular boy who everyone wanted. I felt so stupid at the time, because that was not me. No man had ever made me feel that way. Not even the man I was engaged to at the time. And when he came up to me and didn't realize that I was the senior resident, I was sure my little crush would have ended right there in the ER.

But less than an hour later, he was rescuing me from a belligerent fiancée, and since then hadn't stopped being there for me.

So, here I was...marrying him. Life sure has a funny of way of twisting and turning, blindsiding you when you least expect it!

My phone buzzed just then.

'Rise and shine big sister. The girl squad is on it's way'

The girl squad - that made me laugh loudly as I finally got out of bed. The girl squad consisted of Maliha, Noor and surprisingly Sehr, who had somehow convinced her husband to drive her to Chicago from Ann Arbor, Michigan. She could not travel to Pakistan and be with her brother, since she was pregnant and that would not have been safe, so she had decided to come to Chicago instead and become an honorary member of the 'girl's side'.

Twenty minutes later we were all sitting on the rooftop of my building, under the pergola, enjoying the cool summer breeze. It may be my wedding day, but I was determined to keep things as COVID safe as possible. So, every meeting we had was planned in an outside space and when we had to meet inside, we always wore our masks.

"Ok, we have coffee, muffins, scones, and bagels...so dig in ladies", Sehr exclaimed.

"Enjoy your last breakfast as a bachelorette, Madi", Noor grinned at me.

"Noor, she is not getting executed that she has to enjoy her last meal...", Maliha laughed, "But I will tell you this Madi...enjoy your last couple of days of not having to share your bathroom with a guy"

Now all three of the women burst out laughing, and Sehr added, "Sharing a bathroom...now that is a life sentence!"

"The fact that you get to share the bedroom also, is the only thing that makes up for having to constantly screw the cap back on to the toothpaste...", Maliha winked at me, making me blush.

"Ok...can we not talk about the bedroom please...this is my older brother we are talking about", Sehr remarked, before I had a chance to tell Maliha to quit embarrassing me.

"Fine...but will you guys still come with us for lingerie shopping?", Maliha asked Sehr and Noor.

When did lingerie shopping turn into a group event?

"Woah...hold on, I can do the lingerie shopping on my own...thank you very much", I protested. Honestly, I had tried to not think about that part of marriage at all. I knew it would make me long for him that much more, and till three days ago there wasn't even a firm date for an actual wedding.

Whether it was the look of horror on my face, or the fact that both these women were actually busy at the time of the planned excursion, thankfully they both excused themselves.

Maliha, though, was not interested in backing out. To her, this was the most fun part of wedding shopping, and as she pointed out I owed the trip to her given how I had giggled and embarrassed her when I went with her on a similar pursuit before her own wedding. So, red-faced as I was, I eventually gave in.

While Sehr and my sister chatted away excitedly, Noor hadn't said much since she came. She looked so tired and distracted, and even when she spoke it was in monosyllables. I felt bad that I hadn't really reached out to her in the last few months. It could not have been easy with most daycares being shut down and having to take care of a baby on your own without any family support. I was sure Salman was helping, but with both of them working I just hoped the stress of the pandemic hadn't impacted their relationship.

Maliha and Sehr didn't know her that well, and it didn't feel right asking her about her personal life in front of them. So, I made a mental note of calling her up separately later, and then just offered her more coffee.

"Thanks Madi...I am literally living on caffeine these days", Noor said with a weary smile.

An hour later, Noor and Sehr left to get ready for the afternoon Nikah, and Maliha stayed back with me. We were going to get ready at my apartment and then drive to my parent's house where my brother Moin, who swore he had already studied for his exams, and Maliha's husband, Hasan were setting up a laptop connected to a larger screen in my the front yard, so that we could stream the Nikah for everyone to see. The 'everyone' really just included, my own immediate family, Hasan and his parents, Sehr and her husband and Noor and Salman with baby Ayah. The rest of our family were going to watch online and enjoy their delivered meals.

My Nikah dress had a dupatta that was one that had been passed down from my grandmother to my mom, who had then given it to me. The dress itself was maroon and relatively simple with traditional embroidery done on the sirt, that I had gotten stitched the last time I was in Pakistan a few years ago. I just had never had a chance to wear it before today, since I barely ever went to desi functions during residency.

"Gosh, Madi. You look so elegant. I wish Omar bhai was here to see you...", Maliha said as she pinned up my hair in a stylish bun.

"I wish he was too...", I sighed. I missed him for sure, but the only reason we were even getting married now was because of my sister, who I had not really thanked properly.

"Maliha I cannot thank you enough for everything. We would never have been able to pull this off without you. And then God knows when we would have actually been able to get married"

She hugged me from behind and said, "What are sisters for...and sister-in-laws for that matter. I am jealous that you will have such an incredible one. Sehr is just awesome"

Maliha was right. I had always thought that nands (sisters-in-law) could never be like real sisters. But Sehr had seemed to have embraced me wholeheartedly. I was still apprehensive about Omar's parents, but had to admit that having a sister-in-law as an ally in your new family was a big plus.

Finally, at 11:20 am, ten minutes before the Nikah was supposed to happen and after multiple frantic phone calls from my mom, Maliha and I reached my parent's house and faced our annoyed parents.

"Ufff touba...itni dair? Kabhi baatein kum, or kaam ziyaada, bhi kar liya karo tum dono (Gosh...so late? Sometimes the two of you should talk less and work more)", my mom exclaimed as the two of us walked into the front yard laughing at some silly joke that Maliha had cracked.

Everyone else was already there, including Noor and Salman, who was standing next to his wife holding their adorable daughter in his arms. I smiled at them, relieved to see that at least my friend's relationship with her husband seemed to be ok on the surface. Maybe the sleepless nights had just caught up with her this morning.

My parents had me sit in front of the laptop as both sat on either side of me. Omar had already logged on and I could see a few chairs arranged in a circle around the computer, outside in their garden. About 60 other people had also joined the Zoom meeting and everyone was greeting everyone else at the same time, which made it almost sound like a real wedding.

Omar didn't come directly in front of the camera, but I caught glimpses of him walking around and talking to some people, one of whom was my Taaya. He was wearing a white shalwar kameez with a maroon waistcoat. I had never seen him in traditional clothes before, but in the brief glimpses I caught, I could tell that he looked so handsome, and attractive and hot.

And I need to stop thinking of him...

Before long, I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked back to see Maliha. I don't know whether it was because she caught me almost salivating over my husband-to-be, or that she was simply passing along a message but she whispered, "Omar bhai sent a separate Zoom link for just the two of you to talk after the Nikah. I set up a computer upstairs in your room. So you'll have some privacy..."

Oh good! I am dying to talk to him...

Maliha was about to leave, when she turned back with a big grin on her face, and whispered again, "And you can ogle him all you want then. For now...don't make it so obvious"

I must have turned completely red in the face, because my mom asked if I was feeling hot, and offered me some water. Maliha on the other hand was already standing next to Sehr and both were giggling away, and when I pretended to give her an annoyed look she just blew me a kiss, which made Sehr laugh even more.

Before I could reply to my sister, my mom placed a firm hand on my arm and whispered in a stern voice as if I was a kid all over again, "Acha ab yeh sharartein karna bus karo (Ok, stop with the mischief now), and pay attention"

By now everyone seemed to have taken a seat in Karachi in front of the camera, and my father asked all the meeting participants to mute their mics so just us and Omar's side was able to talk. Soon after, my Tayaa came on camera and asked me if I agreed to marry Omar for the amount of Mahr that was written in our Nikah contract. (A Mahr is an obligation, in the form of money or possessions that is paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of an Islamic marriage)

I could feel my heart race, and my cheeks flush with nervousness as I said 'Qabool Hai' (I accept). Omar was sitting on the side but was visible on our screen, and I could see the smile creep across his face as he looked up towards the camera.

And then it hit me. This was it...this is what we had been waiting for, for all those months.

Suddenly, the nervousness, the jitters were all gone. I was willingly marrying the man I loved dearly and completely, and I wanted everyone to know that. So, as my uncle repeated his question two more times, I felt my voice become louder and clearer, each time I said 'Qabool Hai'.

Next the Imam asked my Tayaa if he gave consent for my marriage to Omar, in front of two witnesses, to which my uncle agreed.

Then the Imam turned to Omar, and asked, "Do you accept Madiha Ahmed..."

Omar immediately said, "YES", a lot louder than he had probably intended to, making everyone laugh. When the laughter died down eventually, the Imam, who was an elderly man with a white beard and who was obviously trying to contain his own smile, peered over his glasses and told Omar to calm down, and let him finish the full sentence.

Then he started again, "Do you accept Madiha Ahmed, in your marriage, with the said amount of Mahr, in front of these witnesses?"

"Yes...", Omar said again, more quietly than before and with a sheepish grin on his face.

And just like that the two of us were married

These 5 minutes is what we had fought our families for, through a pandemic, and through the isolation that we had both felt intensely. Once the two of us had decided we wanted to be together, it should have been that easy to get married.

But our struggle was water under the bridge now. I had to let go of the bitterness in the past, because I had an amazing future ahead, with a man who was truly my soulmate. And who I couldn't wait to talk to. I saw people congratulating him on Zoom and my own parents reached out to give me their blessings and prayers. Then so did everyone else, and our family on Zoom including my father and mother-in-law started to unmute themselves and congratulate us as well. It was a crazy, loud and chaotic scene, almost like an actual wedding. And to be honest it wasn't too bad.

Especially when people started receiving their meals through the delivery services, which from the looks of it seemed to have gone off without a snag as well. Then, as a surprise to both Omar and I, our sisters played a video they had made with pictures from our past, all the way from when we were little babies in bathtubs, till we graduated from medical schools. It was a charming video, with heartwarming songs and little snippets about our life.

I had tears in my eyes by the end of it, and COVID or not, I hugged both my sister and sister-in-law.

"I can't believe you guys pulled this off in 3 days..."

"To be fair...we had help. Noor and Salman helped place the delivery orders. Hasan helped put the video together. Both the moms took dozens of pictures of your old printed photos and sent them to us on WhatsApp", Maliha replied to me, "I am telling you, it's truly astounding what can be done in the virtual world now"

Sehr too, hugged me back tightly, and beamed when she said, "Omar was right when he said you were a beautiful person, inside and out. Madi, you and him deserve all the happiness in the world"

Bollywood romantic songs were running on the Zoom meeting now, courtesy of a specially curated list for this occasion on Spotify. After I was done talking to these two women, I knew Omar was waiting for me on our private Zoom meeting, but there were two other people I needed to meet before I left.

They were feeding Ayah, when I caught up with them, "Salman, Noor...I hope you realize that you guys are part of the reason why Omar and I are together at all. Thanks for talking sense into us when we needed it..."

"Oh, I thought you were going to say, thanks for stealing Noor so Omar was free for you", Salman interrupted me cheekily, and as bluntly as I had come to expect from him.

"Well, thanks for that too", I pretended to roll my eyes, but ended up laughing with them instead, "You guys are such a beautiful couple, MashaAllah"

It wasn't my place, but I wanted to make sure they were doing ok, so before I left I added, "Well, keep taking care of each other...the rest of us look up to you"

But then something happened, which made me pause. Salman suddenly stopped smiling and just looked at Ayah with a stoic expression, and Noor replied with a brief smile, "We are trying...", but then her face immediately lit up, and she said, "Forget about us, Madi. We'll be fine. Go talk to your husband. I am sure he is getting very impatient"

What is happening with them?

They were the kind of couple that stood up for each other no matter what, and you didn't even have to know them to see how much they were in love with each other. If there is trouble in their paradise, God help the rest of us.

I got another text message from Omar, 'Helllooooo'. It was the fourth one in the last 10 minutes.

Anyway, onto my own husband now...

Omar

"What took you so long, Madi?", I couldn't hide my impatience when she finally logged on.

"I am sorry Omar...I just needed to thank everyone for pulling this off. I mean, can you imagine having an international, virtual wedding, complete with a home delivered feast, a whole video on our past, and Bollywood music"

I had to pause and take in her dazzling smile and the way her eyes were shining with excitement, before I replied, "It was pretty awesome wasn't it..."

The maroon dress she was wearing accentuated her perfect facial features. Even though I couldn't see all the details in her dress, the way she sat there with a dupatta on her head and confidently said 'Qabool Hai', had taken my breath away when I saw her on the big screen in our garden.

"And Madi, you look absolutely stunning"

She looked at the camera briefly and gave me a small smile, and then in her soft, shy voice, said, "I thought you looked really handsome too"

She glanced down, and though I couldn't make it out on the camera, I was sure she was blushing. She always did that when I complimented her, even though I had been saying those words to her for a few months now. Not that I was complaining. I loved her innocence, and could never get enough of the way she reacted to me.

Had I been with her at that time, I would have gently lifted her chin so I could look into those alluring eyes that gave me a window into her beautiful soul. For now, I told her, "Madi...look at me"

When she did, all I could say to her was, "You're my wife..."

My words barely coming out, because it still felt so unbelievable.

She didn't say anything, but her lips turned up slowly into that gorgeous smile, that made my heart skip beats and gave me goosebumps. I reached out to touch the cold, flat screen of my laptop, desperately wishing that I was with her.

I heard her say, "And you are my husband..."

But my mind had already wandered into another world. A world where I was next to her, caressing the soft skin of her cheeks, every stroke of my thumb making her turn a deeper shade of pink. Where I could taste those luscious lips of hers, while running my fingers through her thick, curly hair, and take in her intoxicating scent, losing myself in her warmth.

She asked if I could hear her, and if my screen was frozen.

I could hear her, and my screen wasn't frozen. It was I who was frozen, thinking about her, thinking of the things I wanted to do to her, the things I wanted to make her feel...now that she was my wife. I took a deep breath...I needed a moment to gather myself and remind myself that I was sitting alone in my bedroom and she was not with me yet.

"I am here, Madi...", my voice croaked.