She was falling for me. Almost four months ago, she stood next to me in the ICU wishing that I was in love with her. The irony of it was that I was actually falling in love with her. I wished she had said something to me back then.

But that's ok, I know now. It's not too late...

Even if she was apprehensive about my past, that was something I could work with. I was long over my ex-fiancé. There was no doubt about that.

Now I just needed to convince Madi about it!

It was well past sunset when I sat in my car outside the train station nearest to her house, hoping that she would come soon. Almost half an hour later, I was about to give up, thinking that she had possibly taken another mode of transportation or wasn't planning on coming home that evening. But then I saw a figure with curly hair flowing down her shoulders, walk out of the station. She had buttoned up her pink cardigan and was hugging herself trying to keep warm, as she hurried down the sidewalk along which I was parked.

I got out of my car and stepped in front of her, unintentionally scaring her.

"Omar...? You almost gave me a heart attack! What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you to come home. Which is something I wouldn't have to do if you would quit running away from me all the time"

I handed her jacket to her, "Put this on. You're freezing"

Under the dim lights of train station I could see her slim body shivering. Her pink lips and flushed cheeks, accentuated her gorgeous features, but were also a sign of how cold she was.

"Can we go sit somewhere and talk?", I asked, hoping to get out the cold.

"I would rather just stand here...", she snapped at me as she hastily buttoned up her coat and some strands of her hair got stuck in the collar.

Her stubbornness was infuriating, but I was not ready to give up on her, "Fine...we can stand here if you want. But I'm not letting you go till you open up to me.

"Fine...", she pouted.

She remained quiet so I took a deep breath to calm down my own impatience with her. It was obvious that her guard was up, and I knew pushing her to open up was not going to get me anywhere.

I needed a softer approach. So I gently brushed back the stray strands of hair that covered her cheek, and asked her again, "Madi, please tell me what's on your mind? Are you worried about the past I have with Noor?"

She nodded and lowered her gaze as if she was embarrassed to admit that.

But I needed to see those dark brown eyes that had always mesmerized me. I reached out to lift her chin so she would look at me, "Madi, Noor and I have a history. There is nothing that I can do to erase it. But I am over it, I have been for a while now"

She gazed at me for a few seconds, before finally speaking, "Noor is one of my best friends, probably my only best friend. And I saw the way you were devastated when she got admitted in the hospital. I mean...you almost beat up Liam and then yelled at Salman"

She paused but then continued, "It is just hard for me to understand how you went from that to being over her..."

I could see how my actions would have convinced her that I still had feelings for her best friend, or worse that I was so fickle-minded that I went from being desperately in love to having no feelings at all in a matter of days.

"I am sorry you had to see that. But to be honest, I wanted to beat up Liam because he was being an ass to Jake, and I was actually relieved to see Salman till he started to speak rudely to you"

She looked at me with surprise, but I realized that she deserved more of an explanation. I had leaned on her as I dealt with the emotions about my engagement, and how that breakup had led me to where I was. It was unfair of me to then expect her to forget all about that. After all, if our roles were reversed and she was heartbroken over her ex-fiancé I would have a hard time trusting her feelings for me as well.

"Madi, she was a friend and she was a good person, and yes I had feelings for her, but in retrospect when she broke off our engagement things just went downhill for me which had nothing to do with her. But I think part of me just anchored on to her and my feelings for her, because it was easier to dwell in the past than face my present"

Then I remembered what she had said about that day in the ICU, "And Madi, I am sorry that I don't remember standing next to you. A lot was happening then. But I do remember exactly why looking at Noor made me smile. I was happy for my friend, the woman I had grown up with. She had something that few people do. Even before then, seeing Salman with her had made me realize that he was meant to be with her, and I was not. And I was totally ok with it. It sounds weird, I know...but it almost felt like a switch went off in my head"

Madi just looked past me, as if she was absorbing everything she had heard. But then she looked at me again and asked in a small voice, "So you are over her? Like really over her? And am I not some sort of a rebound relationship you're having?"

Rebound relationship? I've never had the kind of relationship I want with her...

"Oh Madi! You are not a rebound anything for me...", maybe it was time for me to give everything I had to this relationship.

"Please believe me when I tell you this, I have never felt like this about anyone. Any feelings I have had before, were not even fraction of what I feel for you", I paused to make sure she understood what I was saying.

But she didn't look away or attempt to say anything, so I continued,"You are everything to me. I am not trying to simply flirt with you, or go out with you, or string you along until someone else comes along...Madi, I want you, only you"

"Omar...", she started to speak, but I had to cut her off. I might as well say everything that was on my mind.

"Wait...and there is something else you should know. Something I have never said to anyone before"

My throat suddenly felt dry and I wished I wasn't saying this on a dimly lit sidewalk in between the roar of trains. But she needed to hear this from me now, and so I hoped that I wouldn't be interrupted by another train. And in a hoarse voice, said out loud a truth that I had known for a while.

"I love you, Madi...I am completely and utterly in love with you. And that is something I want to remind you of everyday for the rest of my life, if you'll let me"

Madi, didn't say anything. She just stood there looking at me with wide eyes, and a flushed face. Her lips parting in a way that made me want to reach out and run my thumb over them. I didn't of course, but I would be lying if hadn't thought of pulling her into my arms and running my fingers through her thick, curly hair as I whispered to her again, that she was the only woman I truly ever loved.

A few seconds later she still hadn't said anything, but there was so much more I wanted to talk to her about, and my toes and fingertips were almost frozen.

So I asked her, "Madi, can we please go to a coffee shop or something and talk more? It is freezing out here"

Her lips finally turned into a smile and she asked, "I thought you didn't like coffee"

"But I like you...really, really, like you..., and if coffee makes you happy, I'll learn to like it too", I grinned at her.

Madiha

He loved me!

It was cold, very cold outside. But the warmth in his eyes, the affection in his touch, the heat of his words, all were enough to comfort me and keep me rooted in that spot. Despite, the noise of the trains and the dingy sidewalk, all I wanted to do was to stand there listening to him say everything that I had dreamed of hearing from him.

But it was cold, and I would not have minded going to a coffee shop right about then. So we walked to one of my favourite spots that was just a couple of blocks away from the train station. And to my utter surprise, I found out that he had never tried a cappuccino before.

"One tall cappuccino please...and I'll take a venti black coffee with a little bit of cream", I ordered for us.

"Madi...just get me a small cappuccino, I don't want the large one", Omar whispered.

"Tall is the smallest...", I explained, but based on his confused face that probably didn't make any sense to him either.

"Tall is small, grande is medium, and venti is the largest", I said to him again, as we waited for our drinks.

He furrowed his eyebrows at the menu board "That makes no sense...doesn't tall and grande both mean big?"

"They do, but that's a quirk in the world of coffee that we have learned to ignore", I laughed, and he just shook his head.

We got our coffee and sat down at an empty table in the corner. This was my opportunity to open up to him. After everything he had said, I trusted him to not abandon me because of all my insecurities. So I was just going to lay it all out there.

"You know what else doesn't make sense?...Us"

Instead of replying to me he took a careful sip of his cappuccino and looked at me while licking the foam off his lips. I don't think that was meant to be a seductive move, but it made my heart rate jump, and my gaze linger on his lips a lot longer than it should have.

He probably saw me staring at him, and noted my burning cheeks, because he smiled and said, "Let me know when you're ready to talk"

"I...uh...I am ready", I stuttered, embarrassed at my reaction to him.

"Ok Madi...tell me why you think we don't make sense. Because the way I see it, we naturally complement each other. There is a reason why we work so well as a team"

There was no denying that we worked well together. But that was work. Work is not the same as life, and building a family together.

A few months ago I had a whole list of why I thought we could never become a couple, but I had gotten to know him more since then and I had realized that some of those reasons were really just my inner fears. But there were others that I wanted to discuss with him.

"Omar, we do work well together. But being a colleague is very different than being a partner in life. As colleagues, it's just us and our patients and the hospital. We are doing a job that we both are good at. But being more than just colleagues, means that our families, our upbringing...will all play a role in our future"

"Ok, so let's talk about our families...I don't see why they won't get along..."

"Well for one, your family owns a transnational business, mine is a middle-class, working family, who I am very proud of. But it doesn't make up for the fact that your and my upbringing is very different. Our parents never let us feel the full brunt of it, but there were times when we really struggled financially...and we came out of it by sticking together", I wasn't embarrassed by what my family had gone through, but I wanted Omar to know our truth.

"I am not the type who knows anything, or even cares to know anything about the high-society which your family belongs to...I mean I don't even know the names of all the designer brands out there. I couldn't tell a Louis Vuitton from a Chanel handbag even if my life depended on it"

Omar nodded, and a couple of seconds later said, "So what you're telling me is that your family is hard-working, humble, earnest, and rejects materialism? Madi...that sounds like just the kind of family we should all aspire to have"

But he did understand where I was coming from, because he followed that up with, "Look, I am not dismissing your concerns. I get it...there are parts of that world that I literally detest. Those parts were the reason why I chose to get away from it and go to medical school. But it's not all bad. Like you said...I was raised in it. Not that I want to bring her into this again, but so was Noor. We both turned out ok...I think"

That was a good point. His parents raised him, and he turned out to be such a respectful and modest person. And I had always been impressed by Noor. Maybe I just needed to accept that the world is not as bleak as I think it is.

"I am sorry Omar, it probably seems like all I do is complain...and over-think"

"No Madi...it seems to me like you are a realist. But if I am going to be honest with you, I think you have carried the burden of your family, and the society and culture we live in...for far too long. I hope that you can trust me enough, to share that burden with you...I don't know if I can fix everything for you. But Madi, I do want to be the one to support you, the person you turn to no matter what you need. I'll always be there for you..."

There was silence between us after that, but the honesty and sincerity in our conversation was loud and clear. Sitting across from Omar, I felt a calmness that I had never felt before...like I could finally take a seat, sit back and relax.

But there was one other thought that had been nagging me, and since Omar had not yet run away exasperated with me, I decided to push on.

"Omar...what do you want from me? I mean...why me of all the women you could get? And I am not fishing for compliments, I genuinely want to know"

He didn't hesitate before replying, "That's an easy answer. Madi, you are not like any of the other women out there. You ground me, even as you challenge me and push me to do better. I feel like I was a immature buffoon thrashing around, trying to survive before I met you. But you gave me direction...a purpose. You were there for me when I needed you, and you were there unconditionally without judgement. Not to mention you are so freaking smart, and beautiful, inside and out"

A smile appeared on his face, as he looked intently into my eyes, "You made me want to open my heart and risk falling in love"

Wow! That's a pretty good answer...for a guy

But then his eyes darkened, and his tone became more solemn, "Can I tell you something that may seem contradictory to what I said before, outside the train station, but actually isn't?"

"Of course Omar, you can always tell me anything", I put my coffee mug down to listen to him without distraction.

"It hurt...being told 5 days before your wedding that you weren't good enough, hurt like hell", Omar glanced down at the table, before continuing, "Noor and I would have been terrible for each other. I know that now...and I am so glad that she did what she did...because otherwise I would not be sitting here with you. But it's a pretty big blow to your self-esteem...you know"

He gave me a small smile, "If you ever leave me...just promise to give me more than a 5 day notice"

But then he seemed to regret that joke almost immediately, because he looked at me such sadness and panic in his eyes, that I reached out to hold his hand, "Better yet, please...umm....please don't leave me. Madi, you mean so much to me...I...I don't think I would be able to survive without you"

My heart broke for him. Even if they weren't meant to be together, he had still cared for her. And she just left him. I couldn't imagine his pain, but I could understand his anxiety.

"Omar, I am not planning to leave you...ever", I squeezed his hand reassuringly

And I meant it. I couldn't imagine a life without him. Whatever reservations I had were long gone. I could see it now....we were meant to be together.

The two of us...a woman who was convinced that no one would accept her for who she was, and a man who was afraid of opening his heart because of how badly he was hurt before...had somehow found each other. And were perfect for each other. One could even say we made sense together.

We sat there talking about our lives, and our dreams, both personal and professional, till the coffee shop staff started to turn the lights off. Then we got up and walked out, happier and more content that we had ever been before.

My parent's house was just a few blocks away, and it had turned into a cold but beautiful night, with the full moon illuminating everything around us with a silver hue. So, we decided to just walk there instead of returning to Omar's car.

At one point, a car passed us almost splashing me with the melted snowy slush that had collected on the sides of the road. In mid-sentence, and perhaps even without realizing it, Omar gently moved me over to the inside of the sidewalk and walked next to the road himself.

He was telling me something about his call schedule, and I pretended to listen, but really I was just enjoying the serenity of his presence. Even though I always thought of myself as an independent woman, who didn't need anyone to feel whole, I knew then that was a lie I had been telling myself so I didn't have to face my loneliness. Because right then, as I walked on the sidewalks I had walked on thousands of times before, I realized that Omar completed me in a way no one had before.

When we were just a block away, he stopped abruptly and turned to face me.

"Madi, did you hear what I asked you?"

"What? Uh...sorry no, I was just thinking of something"

"Whew...ok. When you didn't reply, I got a little worried", he said smiling at me.

Then he repeated himself in a low-pitched, deep voice, "Madi, I asked you...and maybe this goes without saying but I do still want to ask you this explicitly...would you consider marrying me?"

Wait...did I just miss Omar proposing to me the first time around, because I was lost is my thoughts about him?

"Madi? Umm...are you going to answer me?"

Darn it! I did it again...stop thinking, start speaking...

"Yes, yes...of course I will marry you Omar", my heart was racing, but was full of warmth and affection for the man standing in front of me, beaming at me as I looked up into his brown eyes that glistened with moisture.

"I promise to never let you regret your decision", he said in a voice so low, it was almost a whisper, yet conveyed the depth of his emotions.

"I am going to ask my parents to talk to your parents...", he added, again brushing back stray strands of hair from my face, as his warm fingers gently caressed my cheek making my heart flutter.

Neither of us wanted to end that evening, but we did part after reaching my parent's home. To us, that evening was just the beginning of the rest of our lives.

Little did we know on that moonlit night, that the bitterness, hopelessness and sheer exhaustion that we would face in the coming months would nearly tear us apart.

For if we had known, we would have walked a bit slower, gazed into each others eyes a bit deeper, savoured each others presence for a bit longer. If we had known, we would have held onto to that moment with everything we had.

And I would have told him that I loved him, just as much as he loved me.

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