“C’mon, rebel, you’ve got to wake up.”

Although she would have liked to do something like dramatic shouting, Keely just gave a groan into the mattress, wishing fleetingly to float back into sleep.

However she resisted the temptation. Raising her head, she rolled over awkwardly, rubbing her forehead as it already started its pulsing headache. “What?” she grumbled, her voice coming out in a croak, half from her as of late chronic sore throat and the other husky from just awaking.

“You’re on stage in ten minutes,” Seth answered.

Confused she finally focused on her surroundings. Contrary to her belief, she wasn’t in the tour bus, though the couch she was sleeping on was equally punishing. It was a fairly large room with mirrors and the objects she needed for the show spread around.

Eventually turning her gaze to him, Keely found Seth crouching down beside the couch, a slight frown gracing his lips as his eyes study her seriously with a line between his brows.

“When did we even get to a stadium?” she asked blankly.

“Only about two hours ago,” he replied, reaching out to gently brush her bangs away from her eyes.

Groaning she pushed herself up, knocking his hand away as she swung her legs over the side of the couch. “What about sound check?” she mumbled, leaning her head tiredly into her hands. “What about me warming up?”

“You’re really tired, aren’t you?” Seth chuckled, standing up.

Rubbing her eyelids, she just gave a half-hearted snort, but it jarred her throat awkwardly, making her wince. Suddenly thankful that her hands were hiding her face, she shrugged. “I don’t even know. It feels like in the past months I’ve been half awake for most of it.”

“This tour is insane, it’s not just you. We’ve never done one like it, feels like we’re doing a different stadium every night. But you didn’t get a sound check today, none of us did, we just got into town two hours ago. You warmed up with your band when we did, but went and passed out in here.”

Keeping her eyes closed for just a moment, Keely drew in a deep sigh, her throat protesting at even that. “Okay, well, I’ll see you later,” she mumbled hoarsely, standing up.

Without a glance at him, she pushed out of her dressing room, rubbing her throat when she was out of sight.

The pain of her sore throat used to go away after a particularly hard session in the studio or after a show; it would be gone by the next day usually. Then as the tour progressed, it had taken a day or two to get to that point. And now it didn’t go away, just left her to sing through a throat that felt as if it was on fire every show they did.

Frowning at the thought, she just made her way through the dark halls without windows towards the stage. She was now beginning to hear the evidence of a concert being played, her soundproof change room blocking out all sounds of The Cavern Jets. But as she neared the stage, Aaron’s voice – which she found a little on the bo

ring side, but who was she to talk these days? – flew down the halls at her, the guitar and bass throbbing with Will’s drumming that was much too soft.

She stood at the side of the stage, singing along to the songs she’d memorized from them over the tour to warm up as she ignored her protesting throat. It was only minutes until her band reached her while the other band left the stage.

The sound of the crowd swelling in anticipation for their arrival, Keely squeezed her eyes shut, telling herself that all pain was in her head. After all, isn’t that what people say? But her burning throat stayed the same. Taking her worn in Stratocaster from one of the sound guys named Doug, she slung it over her shoulder, waiting to go on stage.

But as The Bitter Rivals started walking on stage before her as was their routine, Keely felt a bolt of panic in her stomach and she quickly grabbed at John’s arm, holding him still before he could step fully on. “Where are we?” she asked hurriedly.

His brow furrowing in confusion, he still answered, “Houston.”

Nodding quickly, she stepped around him, the cheers welling up in her ears as she came into view. Running in faux energy that she really didn’t have much of, just what the crowd was giving to her, Keely got to the microphone. “Hey Houston!” she shouted into the microphone, making the noise level jolt up at least ten notches.

Without a halt, she stormed into the first song of the set list she’d written, just realizing that it might not be the best song to start out with. But the crowd began pulsing as they jumped up down to Yesterday’s Gone, some hands holding cameras and others in the classic symbol of rock and roll as they moved.

As she finished up with her set, Keely gave one last goodbye to the incredibly loud crowd before setting off the stage, guitar in hand as she whisked the sweat from her forehead. The moment she stepped away, her trance she fell into while playing music making her more confident and outgoing than ever before shattered, leaving her with only the reminder of a burning throat.

Carefully hiding it from the crowd, she lifted her arm, coughing into the crook of her arm, hoping it would relieve the pain. But it far from helped, just making her grimace as she stepped out.

Almost immediately Marco and Colton passed by her, rushing to the stage and getting an immediate reaction from the crowd.

Letting a little chuckle go through her chest, though she didn’t let the sound out in fear of her throat, Keely just shook her head, letting her eyes move back in front of her. Yet she was almost immediately found herself hastily pulling up to a stop.

Seth was paused right in front of her, reading to go on stage, his guitar already strapped on, but he was immobile. His eyes were what caused her to stop, because she usually would have just side stepped him to get back to her change room where she could start her search for water, her water bottle on stage drained long ago. They were dark again as they stared at her, the worry plain as he stood in front of her, blocking her way.

Instead of speaking, Keely just forced her mouth into a tiny smile, shaking her head. Silently she stepped past him, placing her hand fleetingly on his arm before continuing on. Precise guitar chords ringing from behind her proved that he’d gone on stage as she moved away.

She just sat, curled up in the corner of the couch in the dressing room, the door open a crack so she could hear NSR as they played their set list. Swallowing the ball in her throat that formed as she heard Seth sing so easily, she lifted her water bottle to her lips, hastily gulping down what she could. And for a moment it helped, soothing the constant fire that burnt through it, but within seconds the burn was back.

But when she heard the beginning of the song she’d been waiting for, Keely emptied what was left of the water before forcing her legs to take her back to the stage.

Even with her dark mood of late, she found a real smile even if it was a small one coming onto her mouth. Leaning her shoulder against the doorway that lead to the stage, she watched as Seth stepped up to the microphone while the song was coming to an end. He was completely focused on the guitar; it was almost like the singing was absentminded when he brought out the last line of the song they’d written together back when.

When the notes faded out absolutely, she closed her eyes, pulling herself into her mind as she pressed her forehead against the enormous doorframe.

Opening her eyes again she watched as Marco and Colton left the stage, Seth now out of sight from her position. The guys happily going past her with words of encouragement, Colton pressed the wireless microphone into her hand, patting her on the back easily as they hurried out of sight.

For a moment she just stood there, waiting for the familiar piano bar and when she heard it, she just took a deep breath in before stepping out onto the stage. When she came into sight, the noise level from the crowd seemed to rise to a point where it was tangible against her skin. Smiling at them, she sent them a wave as she walked to the front of the stage, holding the microphone up to her mouth.

Usually she would have given everything in her lungs to the song, but she was scared if she went full out all it would result in would be her voice cracking on stage and leaving her in a coughing fit. So she let her voice take on a softer, sweet sound instead of the usual powerful blast she’d have given.

“It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide,” she sang out in perfect time. Turning her head, she found Seth again though her body was still facing the crowd. “I don’t have much money but boy if I did, I’d buy a big house where we both could live.”

It was almost an odd sight to see him there. She’d always known he could play the piano brilliantly, it was the first musical thing she’d ever seen him do. But to see him sitting behind the gleaming black piano playing an Elton John song with his nimble fingers crooning the music out of the keys while wearing a black Fugazi shirt above a long sleeved white shirt that was shoved up to elbows and a pair of ripped jeans. In one way it seemed completely wrong, but in the other it was absolutely perfect.

Looking up at her he sent her a smile that grew until the dimple in his left cheek was showing. Even though her voice felt rough, she couldn’t help but send him a mirrored expression, “If I was a sculptor, but then again, no. Or a girl who makes potions at a travelling show. I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do. My gift is my song and this one’s for you.

“And you can tell everybody this is your song. It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done.” As the words flowed from her mouth, she stepped towards the piano, running her hand along the smooth surface as she walked. “I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.

“I sat on the roof and I kicked off the moss,” she sang out, her lip brushing against the black top of the microphone. Even as the note fell off her lips, Keely took a seat on the edge of the black piano bench, her leg brushing against his. “Well a few of these verses, they’ve got be quite crossed,” Keely continued with the lyrics, hitting the notes perfectly as she turned her body so it was angled towards Seth on the piano bench. “But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song. It’s for people like you who keep it turned on.”

It felt almost like she was singing straight to him, and maybe a large part of her was. “So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do. You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue. Anyways the thing is, what I really mean,” Keely sang, watching his fingers move across the keyboard. Feeling his gaze, she looked up into his golden eyes, making the next lyrics ring true. “Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Even as she sang the chorus again and sang the reprise lyrics at the end of the song, Keely didn’t look away from his eyes. But the moment the song ended, she quickly drew the microphone away from her mouth as she felt the scratch in her throat intensify.

The crowd was cheering loudly in response to the end of the song, but she barely noticed, focused on one thing. She didn’t want to start coughing in front of the crowd, Keely couldn’t say why but it was as if she didn’t want them to know that she wasn’t as perfect as she should have been for them.

Hiding her face by turning into his shoulder, coughing so violently that her shoulders shook with the movement and her throat protested angrily even as she gasped for air. Instantly Seth wrapped his arm around her waist, shouting in her ear if she was alright. The crowd, mistaking the moment for something it wasn’t began to squeal and Keely could practically hear the pictures snapping.

When the fit finally ceased, Keely raised her head and pulled out of his grasp, wanting to be as far away from him and the crowd as she could get. But she just sent him what she hoped was a reassuring look, wiping her sleeve across her mouth, however he didn’t appear to be convinced as he frowned, his eyes darkening upon her face. Ignoring him she stood up, waving to the crowd before blowing them a kiss and heading off the stage quickly.

Slamming the dressing room behind her, Keely leaned against it heavily as she rubbed her throat. What kind of vocalist wasn’t even able to get through a song without breaking?

Yet as suddenly as the thought crossed her mind, the coughing started up again ripping mercilessly inside her throat. Doubling over, she leaned her palms against her knees, the fit travelling down to make her stomach clench painfully even as the tears smarted at the sides of her eyes.

Taking a step forward, Keely covered her mouth with her hand, but only then did her eyes catch the glimpse of red on the sleeve of her white shirt. But before she could focus further, the fit worsened, causing her to clench her eyes together as she moved blindly through the room, banging her knees against the couch, coffee table and even her bureau, but she eventually made it to the bathroom attached, flinging herself at the sink just in time.

Groaning, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, keeping her eyes closed as she bent over, leaning her forehead against the cool porcelain, gasping in her raggedy breaths.

When her breathing came to a much more regular pace though there was still a worn out hitch to it, she finally raised her eyes, looking into the mirror. But what she saw made her eyes drop horrified to her hand, blood streaked across the back. In the motion, her eyes caught what she’d coughed up during the fit.

Instantly she reached out, turning the knobs hastily so the water streamed into the sink. But when the water didn’t wash away the blood she’d coughed up fast enough, she used her hands, rubbing away the vivid color against the white sink until there was nothing left.

Scraping at her hands so the blood rushed off underneath the spray, she kept her lips pressed tightly together. There was a tense ball in her throat, moisture pressing against the back of her eyes and her lips starting to tremble. Why was she close to tears now when she’d been in more pain before?

A knock at the door had her jolting. Her eyes snapping up to the mirror in front of her, finding that there was blood streaked across her mouth and chin as well.

“Keely?” called Colton’s voice. “We’ve got to head off soon.”

Hastily she ripped some water towel from the dispenser, letting the water run over it before scraping it across her face until it was a burning red, but there was no blood.

“Hey, Keel, you okay in there?”

“Yeah,” she shouted, her voice coming out in a breathless raspy croak. Hearing the door of her dressing room open, she tossed the bloody paper towel into the garbage in the corner of the room. Hearing the footsteps, she leaned over, splashing water into her face.

After an appropriate space of time had passed, she pasted an amiable expression on her face and looked up, the false smile making her mouth ache. “What’s up?” she asked, her voice coming out hoarsely.

Colton frowned slightly, but shrugged. “Nothing, we just got to get going. They’ve still got to take down the stage, but you have a CD signing tomorrow morning. Hey, what’s that on your shirt?”

He reached out, but Keely hastily ripped her arm back, pushing around him. “It’s just some ketchup,” she said at random, grabbed a hoodie at random and pulling it on so the blood splotch was hidden. “I haven’t packed anything up yet; want to give me a hand?”

The yawn that escaped her mouth made Keely take in a sharp intake of breath, scraping painfully on her raw throat.

Thankful that she had her back turned to the boys, she grimaced slightly, hunching her shoulders over as she focused firmly on the paper in front of her. She was writing the set list for the show later in the day on the pad of paper sitting on the table.

At one point there had been some sort of a list. Now, however, the song titles were scratched out, arrows travelling around the paper only for the words rewritten only to be violently scuffed out with the black pen once again.

She was in conflict as she stared down; trying to block out the sounds of the boys who were mocking some talent show they’d recorded the other night. The thought of singing Yesterday’s Gone was enough to make her sick to her stomach. Just shouting in a song was terrifying, and that shamed her at the same time. This is what she did, what she loved, it was all she was good at.

Shaking her head, Keely ran her hand over her face wearily, cupping her cheek as she stared down at the sheet, scratching out all the songs on the list again.

Flipping over the page, she got to a new on and started jotting down the list again, clenching her mouth at the thought of singing it. There was no getting around it, she couldn’t go to her own concert and not play her songs, what would happen then wasn’t something she didn’t want to think about. And she had to especially play Yesterday’s Gone, the crowd has this reaction to it that happened to none of her other songs so it couldn’t be that it was number one in the US at that moment. They were reacting to it and as much as she was scared of the pain that would come when she screamed the lyrics, she was as much afraid to take the song out of her show.

Even the fact that she had a Janis Joplin cover in the list made her stomach sink dangerously.

Dropping her pen, she ran her hands over her face, digging them into her hair and pulling it away from her face.

The bus coming to a halt Keely pulled her hands away to grab her bag that was sitting propped against the window. Standing up awkwardly in the seat, she stuffed the notebook into it before stepping out as Marco and Colton took off out of the door, shoving each other in their haste and excitement to get off the bus.

“Hey rebel,” called out Seth, successfully getting her to stop in her tracks.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she pulled in a bracing breath. If there was anybody she didn’t want to know about the extent of what was happening to her throat and voice, it was him. Time to get good at acting.

As she opened her eyes, she watched while he grabbed his guitar case from his bunk bed, the plain blue tee shirt tightening just around his chest casually with the motion. “Are you coming with us after your signing?”

“Where?” she returned dully, camouflaging a grimace when she realized she was not now a good enough actor to hide her mood.

“We figured we’d all go out and grab something to eat the moment you’re done,” Seth grinned charmingly, stepping towards her on the bus. “We wanted to teach Colton how to sing right after. You in?”

Gulping, she just pressed her lips together, shaking her head silently as she turned away.

How was she supposed to try and help Colton sing any better when she could barely get out words?

“What’s–?” Seth started from behind her, his tone bewildered.

Not willing to tell him either of the reasons she refused to go with them, Keely just kept walking to the end of the bus. “Just leave me alone,” she told him bluntly, shoving open the door without a second glance.