Chapter 26

Paranoia.

That was exactly what Yan Mei Ling was experiencing right now. It was somehow insane but every strange stares or even simple gestures from her fellow soldiers made the entire skin jump off from her muscles. Relaxing and focusing had been both grueling for her even as the military exercises - this was somewhat strange because this was her most favorite part in being in the camp.

It was highly unusual at her but she could not seem to perfect the execution of each exercise. Her mind was a complete mess and her body seemed to rebel against her will. In fact, she had stumbled several times and her attention had been detached from what was supposed to be done. Her entire senses was clouded due to the fear and guilt that had been gnawing inside her.

She feared that her real identity would be exposed and the consequence of being ostracized. She also feared that instead of bringing honor to her family's name, she would bring shame. But what she truly feared was that she couldn't protect her best friend, Li Lei Shuang, from the clutches of the evil warlord Hsien Mao Dong.

"Tang Lao Fang, are you sure that you are fine? You look paler." Lu Jinhai called behind her, his voice sounded worried.

"I am fine, Lu Jinhai. I am just," she paused and forced herself to breathed in deeply to calm her frantic nerves. "I am really just tired. This is nothing."

"I can talk to Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei so that he can let you rest, if you want me to."

"No, please don't. I can manage."

Lu Jinhai looked at her skeptically. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am."

"If you say so," Lu Jinhai said though there was still a hint of doubt in his voice. "But, please, tell me if you are truly not feeling well and, I will be in haste to help you."

"Yes, I will."

"Now, everyone, please pay attention." Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei's voice sounded authoritative and firm. "Even if this is a military exercise or a mere simulation of what we will be doing in the actual war, we still need to treat this one with seriousness. Our numbers are dwindling and each one of us should act like we are more than one person to make up for those who are gone. Keep your focus and you will be alive after the war."

He then looked at Yan Mei Ling. His eyes looked at her with a different level of intensity as if he was reading through her soul, unraveling all of her secrets one by one. His eyes, the way they pierced through Yan Mei Ling, made her shudder both with fear and with an emotion that was something entirely different. It provoked a feeling that made her stomach flutter yet in a bizarrely sublime way. It was something that created a sensational jolt that went straight into her heart - touching its deepest emotion, making it feel more alive.

Yan Mei Ling silently swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling the heat creeping into her cheeks.

"Tang Lao Fang, you are out of focus." He said then he walked to the line where Yan Mei Ling stood.

Yan Mei Ling almost dropped in panicked when he was in front of her but she did her best to control herself. If she would only be exposed, then she would act the firm and brave not the guilty one. It would only make her more pathetic.

"I... I.." Yan Mei Ling stuttered. She couldn't answer. She was completely rendered speechless.

"You look pale," Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei said firmly but there was also gentleness and concern in his voice.

"I have the same sentiment, Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei," Lu Jinhai said.

Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei looked at Lu Jinhai and said, "I am talking to Tang Lao Fang not you, Lu Jinhai."

"Of course," Lu Jinhai chuckled sarcastically. "Who am I to merit such right to speak to my superior? Am I not just a lowly soldier who cares about what is happening in the camp and my fellow soldiers?"

A pulse beat at the temple of Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei as he struggled to control his temper. His cousin was deliberately making him lose his control but he wouldn't allow that to happen. With supreme effort, he put a stoic face on. "You will do best to remember that: I am your superior."

Frustration flickered on Lu Jinhai's eyes before he smirked and enunciated every word sarcastically, "Of course, Jinzhou"

"Good," Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei said in an unemotional voice. He then turned his attention back to Yan Mei Ling and stared at her as if assessing her condition. For a brief moment, Yan Mei Ling had caught a glimpse of concern glazing through his eyes before he immediately put back his impassive mask.

"One more round of exercise then we will rest and, to those who still have the energy, you can accompany me to hunt for food so we won't die of starvation. Do we all understand?"

"Yes, jinzhou!" all of the soldiers responded.

Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei looked at Yan Mei Ling one last time, in a fleeting manner, before he went in front to lead the military exercise.

Yan Mei Ling, on the other hand, trembled with dread. But, surprisingly, he did not say anything. Perhaps he was bidding his time, she thought.

When the exercise was finished, a bird's cry was heard. Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei then extended his arm and the bird landed swiftly on it. "Shan de Tiangkong"

He took the rolled parchment from the falcon's talons and placed the bird on his other shoulder. He hastily unrolled the parchment and silently read. His eyes widened a bit before he turned his aloof masked on. He turned his gaze to all the soldiers in front if him. All of them were curious as to what contained in the letter.

"Help, weapons and food are coming soon," He announced, his voice echoed strongly in the camp. The soldiers cheered happily at the news but then he waved his hand as if to silence them. "This is not a time to celebrate as our task has became even more harder."

The soldiers became silent and suddenly everything seemed tense.

"The princess is abducted in the palace and we need to reach the Hsien clan's domain before her abductors do."

Upon hearing the words, Yan Mei Ling's body froze with dread and the entire muscles of her body stiffened. She couldn't breathed as if someone was choking her. Tears began to form in her eyes and without warning they fell. She wanted to rage and shout but her voice was gone. She was shocked - extremely shocked.

'Li Lei Shuang!' she screamed in her thoughts. Her blood was boiling with both rage and dread. She was hysterical. 'They couldn't take her. She is not kidnapped. The news may have been a misinformation. It has to be.'

She tried to open her mouth to swallow some air but the moment she did, her vision darkened and her knees became weightless. As she was about to succumbed to darkness, the last voice that she heard was Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei who desperately tried to call her name.

"Tang Lao Fang!"

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Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei's bravery, intelligence and skills were just one of the few things that made the Son of Heaven choose him as one of his trusted officials. True, he was a nobleman - a minister-diplomat's son - but unlike those other noblemen, with the exception of the Duke Unit Commander Yan Bao Rong, he never lived his life in debauchery and luxury. He was a warrior just like his mother's father. He abide by all the imperial rules and his loyalty to the Son of Heaven was unquestionable.

As an only child, he lived his life in solitude ever since his father, an imperial peace minister, was assassinated on his way to the Chou clan's domain - the Son of Heaven's half brother clan who threatened to seized the empire yet failed. After that incident, he became a lonely child ever since. It even took many years before he talked to other people. Some of the children his age would not even play with him because of his aloof attitude.

His mother was so worried about him that she brought him to the village where she was born. His mother did not come from a rich family unlike his father, in fact, her family were simply farmer-warriors living in a secluded mountain where population was rather small. She brought her under the care of her father to teach him everything - literature and, most importantly, martial arts.

Master Ming Liao or simply grandpa taught him everything he needed to know. He had taught him about the Dragon warrior; the techniques he used; his unbelievable strength; and his heroic acts of saving the empire.

He aspired to be like the Dragon warrior - strong and fearless. Nothing and no one frightened him - not even death. When both of his grandfather and mother died, his world crushed. Anger and vengeance fueled his heart and determination when he learned of the cause of his family's death: Lord Hsien Mao Dong.

He was sent back to his father noble relatives only to receive cold reception but that did not deter him from being what he was today. He joined the military for the purpose of getting his revenge but after many years and wars, he realized that revenge was futile.

It was loyalty to the Emperor that made him want to win every war. The emperor had been like father to him. Where his relatives were cold, the emperor was warm. He worshiped the very ground that Son of Heaven tread upon and would do his best to protect him and all that matters to him.

As he steadily rose into ranks, he was known for being fearless. He would unquestioningly accept dangerous campaigns and emerged victorious. He fear nothing. He fear no one. For was death was of no importance to a man with no real family. But, surprisingly, as he stood outside a small, dilapidated tent, he was restlessly pacing. His heart was beating worriedly, and his mind was almost blank. He was worried - very worried.

He did not understand but he felt this need - the assurance - that Lao Fang was fine. He realized that he was afraid of losing him. The realization had dawned to him that he was not totally immune to the feeling of fear - more aptly, the fear of losing someone.

The boy was more than a subordinate. He was important. He did not know why he felt that way towards the boy but his feelings for the boy was at a different level. Inexplicable but there certainly was.

Lee Sui Song, a doctor, came outside, and Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei almost leapt upon him in anticipation. "Is he?"

Lee Sui Song breathed deeply as if relieving himself out of tension. "The boy is fine."

A large amount of weight seemed to be carried off Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei's shoulders. "Thank you, doctor." He hastily went to the door of the tent but the doctor, despite his small frame, blocked him from entering the tent.

"Please do not go inside yet, Jinzhou. The boy is over-fatigued. He needs his rest. Visiting him might only stress him further thus delaying his recovery. I have given him some medicine. With the heaven's grace, tomorrow, he will be fine."

Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei looked at him with doubt but then he did as the seemingly nervous doctor said.

"The boy will be awake in the morning but he specifically requested me not to be disturbed while he is resting. He will be fine tomorrow - that I can assure you."

"I will take your word on it, doctor."

"Thank you, jinzhou."

When Lee Sui Song left, Lu Jinhai walked towards Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei.

"How is the boy, Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei?"

"Why are you interested in his condition?"

"Why won't I be? He is a friend of mine." Lu Jinhai said with a hint of irritation. "But, the big question is, why are you outside the boy's tent pacing like a nervous mother hen?"

Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei was tempted to punch Lu Jinhai but he controlled himself. He merely squeezed his fist tightly. He said in menacing voice, "He is my subordinate therefore it is my duty to know what will happen to him."

"Really?" Lu Jinhai scoffed incredulously. "Did my words to you the other day made some real sense in you? If that is the case, then that is already too late. A lot of men had already died and all because of your self-centeredness and carelessness."

"I regret that day and I am doing my best to make up for all things that I lack as a leader. You do not have to slap my face for that one every now and then."

"I am merely doing it to make you remember your duties. You may have served the emperor but, right now, he is not your only concern. It is all of us. Put that in your mind, cousin."

Lu Jinhai tried to shove Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei away from tent's entrance but the latter stalled him. "No one is allowed to get inside the tent, the doctor instructed. Lao Fang is over-fatigued. He needs his rest."

Lu Jinhai's eyes widened - concern was evident in them. "What has happened to him? He is not going to -"

"Tang Lao Fang will survive. He is the ninja boy, remember? He is a tough one." Lu Wang Wei said aloofly.

Lu Jinhai visibly looked relieved then he seriously stared at Jinzhou Lu Wang Wei for a moment. "I will visit Lao Fang tomorrow. Until then, cousin."

Lu Wang Wei looked at his cousin as he left then he turned his gaze back to the tent where the boy was resting. He silently prayed to his ancestors and the heavens that Lao Fang would be fine.

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"My father will catch you." Princess Li Lei Shuang told TongJun LingHua. She appeared undaunted despite the fact that her wrists were tied which had rendered her helpless, completely at the mercy of the enemy. She did not even know where she was right now since she was blindfolded when the Hsien army abducted her. However, she could tell that she was in the wilderness, even if she was confined in the tent, because outside seemed eerily silent but for the angry sound of the chilly wind.

"Oh, really, princess?" Tongjun LingHua mocked the princess who looked at him with daggers in her eyes. Her used-to-be perfectly styled hair was in disarray and the jade pins were hanging askew after being carried like an insignificant baggage on a horseback. The yellow ruqun that she wore was torn at the hem though her banbi remained firmly tucked. But despite those, the princess remained enchantingly beautiful and her disheveled state had almost tempted him beyond reason. "Where is the Son of Heaven's army? Is he able to protect you from us?"

"Do you know that serving Lord Hsien Mao Dong will not bring you any honor? He is not mandated by the heaven to rule nor will he be fit to rule. He is a cruel man who has no feelings for his subordinates. You could have done well serving the empire."

"What do you know of honor?" Tongjun Linghua spat angrily at the princess, his face just a few inches closer to Princess Li Lei Shuang's. "Did you know that if not for Lord Hsien Mao Dong, I would have remained a lowly peasant? I am what I am now if not for him!"

Princess Li Lei Shuang turned her head away from Tongjun Linghua not only because of the intolerable stench coming from his mouth but also because the intensity of the emotions in his face had awakened a guilt within her. Guilt at her incapacity to help uplift her people's lives. "True, you are a general but you have tainted your hands with that of the innocents."

Tongjun Linghua took a few steps away from the princess, his shoulders shaking with mirth. "Tainted my hands with the lives of the innocents? Really? What about the Son of Heaven? Do you think that his divinity has overshadowed his cruelty? The Son of Heaven has already fallen out of favor from the heaven. If you look beyond your lavished and beautiful palace, then you will see that people need someone who can rule them better. He is a cruel man! He keeps on taking without giving. He only cares about power but does not care about the people whom he gets his power from!"

"You are lying!"

"I am not, princess." Tongjun Linghua snickered ominously. "Your life has been too sheltered from all the wickedness that the Son of Heaven has done. You know nothing of the truth."

"My people have always been contented!"

"Hmmp, wrong." He cackled humorlessly before his eyes turned hard and full of contempt. "They are hungry and cold and tired - those are the truths."

Helpless tears streamed from Princess Li Lei Shuang's eyes then she stared at Tongjun Linghua for a long time. She wanted to asked him about something — something that she wanted to avoid yet she wished to know. She needed to know it even if it seemed a self-inflicted torture. "Tongjun Linghua, may I ask you a question?"

"You may but it is also possible that I do not have the answer."

"Thank you," Princess Li Lei Shuang said politely even if she was bracing herself from the magnitude of the pain that the answer might possibly bring her. "Are you the one who attacked the village located at the east of the empire?"

"Yes"

"What have you done to the people?" Princess Li Lei Shuang asked, her voice never trembled despite the unspeakable pain that had stabbed her heart.

"Oh, the usual thing that happens during a pillage. Honestly, princess, I do not want to sully your innocent ears with wicked things."

"Please. I want to know." She insisted with indomitable calmness despite the tears that glazed her eyes.

"Well, if you insist," Tongjun Linghua shrugged nonchalantly. "We went to the village, set everything afire, rained our cannons, killed the men, tossed the children to burn in the flame, and, of course, raped all the women before ending their lives."

"You are evil. You are evil.." Princess Li Lei Shuang said as calmly as she could even if her shoulders were shaking with un-containable grief. Her eyes looked at him with extreme hatred. He was the one who killed her beloved best friend, her sweet Yan Mei Ling.

"At least, I never assumed to be good." Tongjun Linghua said cryptically before he left the princess.

When he was gone, Princess Li Lei Shuang broke down and wept all the pain inside her heart. She could not accept the fact that Yan Mei Ling's death had been very brutal even to imagine. She was not even there to protect her. She felt utterly helpless and useless.

'I swear I will protect you, Li Lei Shuang... I will be the greatest warrior in Chixian Shenzhou, I promise.'

"Oh, my sweet, Yan Mei Ling... My beloved.."

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