If you came here right after chapter 23 then pause. Go back and follow me to read the rest of the chapters which are private. You have missed a lotttt 😂

W O R D C O U N T:

Hello ladies! Long time no see? Did you miss me?

Well, let's just make a few things clear. The chapter number is 39.5 because this is a kind of deleted scene. The following incident happened between chapter number 39 and 40. I hope you understood.

We were rambling out and about in the market looking for a suitable gift for Bibijaan. It was her birthday today and Humza insisted on helping him in buying a gift for her.

Practically this was the first time we were shopping together.

It would be unjust if I didn't tell you how utterly handsome and charming Humza looked today. He wore a grey polo shirt and he had rolled up it's sleeves. His black jeans fitted him to perfection and his hair was neatly combed. The girls around were ogling him and it was getting on my nerves. Humza on the contrary was enjoying it.

We were at Oman avenues mall which is the largest one in Oman. The stores here were decorated beautifully. This place had everything. Humza and I were alone. It had been an hour and we still couldn't think of a proper gift.

Instead Humza kept on asking me to buy something for myself. It became difficult to even look at something as the moment I laid my eyes on a dress or a handbag or anything as such, Humza urged me to buy it.

"Why aren't you buying something?" Humza groaned. "Because I can't find something good." I roll my eyes.

We only kept on sauntering from here to there.

We were at the top most floor when I saw Haadi. "Shit." I cursed and tried to hide my face behind Humza. His broad shoulders were enough to shelter me. "What's wrong?" He was alarmed and began to look around quizzically.

"That guy there in black shirt and blue ripped jeans, on your straight was my classmate. I am hiding from him." I almost whispered even though no where on earth could he hear me from so far.

Humza looked around and scrunched his nose in annoyance when he saw him.

"I don't like him." He stated, making me chuckle as I knew the reason why he didn't like him. Haadi was too handsome. He was always dressed like a model straight out of a magazine. His facial features were quite enticing. They were a tough competition to any girl. I am not sure if that's a compliment though.

He still looked like a model. Back in school he was very popular among girls but my friends suggested that he had a thing for me. I didn't believe them until it was the last year of high school.

He had proposed me but I had rejected him.

Things didn't get uncomfortable between us but my rejection didn't stop him from flirting with me. Obviously I was going to omit this piece of information from Humza.

"You don't even know him Humza." I laughed.

"Still. I don't like him and even you are not supposed to like him." He almost ordered.

"He was just my classmate Humza. You don't have to be so insecure." I answered while watching Haadi as he began to leave. He was alone.

"I am not saying I hate him. I just don't like him. Something about him is unnerving." He said thoughtfully.

"Forget it. C'mmon let's get you out of here." Humza gripped my hand and began to haul me downstairs, all this while his eyes were glued to Haadi.

I wanted to laugh. I was the kind of person who always abhorred even the thought of having a possessive husband but today as I look at Humza, I feel it's kind of cute and a very natural thing. The whole episode with Hazel made me realize it.

As we reached the first floor humza perched over the glass railings of the mall searching for Haadi again but we couldn't find him anywhere.

"Anaaaabiyaaaa." Shit! I heard him shout my name. Both of us at once froze. We looked at the source of this husky voice and I found him on the third floor. He was resting his hands on the glass railings of the floor above mine, waving at me. His smile was a genuine one, the one that reached his eyes.

It was funny how Humza instantly gripped my hands in his as if, if he left me Haadi would snatch me away. I didn't miss the small scowl that appeared on Haadi's face as he noticed our intertwined hands.

I waved my hands back at him and his smile returned. "I hate him." Humza gritted from beside me. It was funny how he contradicted his own statement from a while ago. Humza was irritated but I was enjoying it.

"Wait there. I'll come." Haadi shouted and All I could do was nod.

"What the fuck? Let's go before he comes." He was outraged. "How can I leave when he asked me to stop?" I was teasing him purposely. "Anaabiya don't get on my nerves. Now is not the time." Humza was about to pull me when Haadi appeared out of nowhere. It was as if he performed some magic trick. Humza glared at me before turning his gaze back to Haadi.

"Miss Anaabiya Ahmed! Look at you huh! As beautiful as ever." He approached us with a cocky smirk.

"It's actually Mrs Anaabiya Humza Junaid." Humza corrected, Agitation quite prominent in his tone. Haadi cocked his eyebrows, his black eyes twinkling with mischief.

"How many guys did you marry again Anaabiya?" He laughed at his own joke but Humza found it lame. If possible I could already smell danger.

"You haven't changed at all. Your cocky remarks have always been ridiculous." I taunted whilst he laughed and so I continued. "Anyway this is my husband, Humza." I introduced.

"Ouch! My first crush is now married." He faked a heartbreak and Humza's body tensed. "Anyway nice to meet you lucky man." He held out his hand for a hand shake but as expected Humza just turned. He again rested his hands on the railings and began to look around pretending Haadi didn't exist. His hands though were still intertwined in mine and he was holding it with both his hands. He was fidgeting with ring on my finger.

Humza had this habit. If he disliked someone he would let them know. He would never pretend. His actions had embarrassed Haadi as he pulled back his hand. His humiliation didn't last for long.

"Didn't you marry as yet?" I tried changing the subject.

"How could I marry anyone since you rejected me? I waited for you until now." He teased. I knew he was just joking or trying to flirt but Humza's nails were literally digging into my skin now. He was asking me to leave but I always liked him when he was jealous.

"You are funny. I thought you'd mature by now." I chuckled. He was a good friend back then but after high school we lost contact.

"Give me your number. Since you don't have any child, I think I still have a chance. You know we could.." He was almost whispering when Humza who had strangely been silent all this while, once again raised his voice.

"We are done now. We need to leave. Our children are alone back at home and you know It's not nice for her to walk so much when she is pregnant with our fifth child." I almost choked on my own laugh. I didn't miss the bewildered look on Haadi's face before he burst into fits of laughter.

"You are funny dude. Actually very humorous." Haadi titterd pointing a finger at Humza. I guess he understood Humza was only kidding.

Humza didn't reply nor did he wait. He tugged me along with him towards the ground floor, through the exit and lastly into the parking area.

I could no more contain my laughter and I began to giggle like a school girl. "Slow down Humza. I am pregnant with our fifth child. It's not good for me to walk so much." I mimicked him and laughed at my own implausible joke. I didn't miss the small smile that occurred at the corner of his mouth.

"Very funny." He opened the car door for me and I got myself seated soon.

The car ride was absolutely typical. He didn't say a word. It was only me who giggled from time to time.

We reached back home and I sauntered as fast as I could to protect myself from Humza's wrath.

On our way back home we had bought rasgullas and a dress for Bibijaan.

As I rushed back inside, I heard him call my name but I didn't stop. I knew he was angry.

Without wasting my time I went straight into Bibijaan's room. She wasn't well. She had been resting. Huzaifa and Maliha along with two of Humza's mistresses were surrounding her. There was a cake in the middle and a few gifts around it. It had already been cut.

"Happy birthday Bibijaan." I smiled hugging her. She embraced me at once. I felt Humza's burning gaze on me when he entered.

The cake had been cut and we distributed it amongst all the staff members. I loved cakes but sadly forgot to keep one for my self. Everybody had their share of the cake except me.

Humza had asked me to come along with him to our room but I had refused. I know I was annoying him a lot but I was enjoying it too.

When everyone left, Bibijaan took out a small diary from under her pillow and extended it to me. "Sana found this in one of the rooms so I thought of returning it to it's rightful owner." She said with much difficulty. I took the black square diary and opened it's first page.

It was written in bold. It belonged to him. "It's Humza's. I'll Give it to him." I shut the book and placed it on my lap.

"You didn't understand. I said I am returning it to it's rightful owner. I believe you need to read it to understand." Her words amused me. I didn't speak another word but I left her room and ambled towards the foyer. I was scared to go hack to my room because I knew that I would be bombarded with a lot of questions the moment I entered my room.

I sat on the furniture in the foyer and as soon as I was comfortable on it, I opened the diary to read it's contents.

I scanned through the pages to find poems and letters written in it. Lots and lots of them. All addressed to an angel. I scrunched my nose out in dilemma and decided to read through these pages.

To my angel,

I have been waiting for you for quite some time now. I have asked Allah to send you for me soon. I need to tell you a lot of things that are going on in my mind, that I can't share with anyone else. Hope to see you soon.

I began to read the first poem that he wrote. It was about his father.

Baba. So many images come to mind, whenever I speak your name.

It seems without you in my life,

Nothing has been the same.

What happened to those lazy days,

When I was just a child,

When my life was consumed in you,

In your love, and in your smile.

What happened to all those times, when I always looked up to you.

No matter what happened in my life,

You could make my grey skies blue.

Baba.. Some days I hear your voice,

And turn to see your face.

Yet in my turning.... It seems

The sound has been erased.

Baba.. Who will I turn to for answers,

When life does not make sense.

Who will be there to hold me close,

When the pieces just don't fit.

Baba.. If I could turn back time,

And once more hear your voice,

I'll tell you that out of all the dad's,

You would still be my choice.

Please always know I love you,

And no one can take your place.

Years may come and go,

But your memory will never be erased.

It broke my heart to lose you,

But you didn't go alone.

Part of me went with you,

The day Allah took you home.

Our family chain is broken,

And nothing seems the same,

But as Allah calls us one by one,

The chain will link again.

I don't know when exactly I started weeping but I did. Tears kept on rolling down my cheeks as I read another one.

There's a villain in every story.

The wicked witch of the east,

And a wicked witch of the west.

The evil step mother,

A monster, A beast.

What does the villain look like?

Some people may ask.

It doesn't always have a black cape,

Or a wtitches broom,

Or a big and scary mask.

I have a villain of my own,

But he's kind of hard to see.

He has a really good disguise-

He looks a lot like me.

Mirror mirror on the wall,

Who's the fairest of them all?

Or maybe it's

Monster monster inside of me,

Tell me tell me what you see?

Rip me apart,

Tear me to shreds,

Make me a prisoner,

inside my own head.

Tell me what I am,

And tell me what I am not.

Tell me what I need,

and tell me what I got.

You bring out my scars,

My sadness fears and aggression.

You cause me a lot of envy,

And leave me with depression.

Deprive me off my confidence,

Take away my self esteem,

Cause me to fear judgement,

And make me yell and scream.

You taunt me with your words,

Like this is some kind of a game.

But when it comes down to it,

There is no one else to blame.

The villain isn't a creature,

Or a devil sent from hell.

It isn't a witch or a demon,

The villain is myself.

I try to fight it but it won't stop,

Its never going to cease,

Its mean and it's a liar.

I am the beauty and the beast.

There's a villain in every story,

A statement that is true.

But how do you kill the monster,

When it lives inside of you?

I couldn't understand why Bibijaan wanted me to read this. I didn't even know when were these poems written. I never knew that Humza could even write one.

As I scrolled through the pages. I read more poems and letters.

The last poem he wrote was heart breaking and shattering because I knew it was for me.

I wish that I could hold your heart,

Cradle it gently in my hands.

But my arms are not strong enough,

To hold what I don't understand.

My eyes have seen a lot of things,

And i thought I'd seen them all.

But the way your smile ignites my own,

Makes me think there's so much more.

These walls around this heart of mine,

Have stood collecting dust.

But it's as though you've found the gate,

That leads right to my trust.

I've never really liked my name,

But on your lips it sounds so sweet.

And your voice is my new favorite song,

That's forever on repeat.

But even though I feel all this,

I can never let you see.

Because your heart deserves a whole lot more,

Than a broken soul like me.

Why did he consider himself as a monster or a demon was beyond me.

I could no more take it so I strolled towards my room. I wanted to help him but I didn't know how to. I was about to cross his room when he pulled me inside out of nowhere and propelled me against his now closed door, caging me in between his arms. My breath had initially hitched but I managed to control myself.

"You are becoming bolder day by day. I have to do something about it." His smirk and his words had faltered my thoughts because now I was scared for my body parts.

"What are you going to do?" I asked meekly. He leaned closer, his body weight slightly resting on mine. "I am going to fuck you. I am going to fuck you hard and you know I always keep my promise." He whispered in my ear making my abdomen churn. I knew it made me wet. It was so easy for him to do.

"Really?" I couldn't even hear my own voice. It was as if I was high on weed. He nodded his head seductively making me squirm. I could still feel his breath on my face and I couldn't help but shut my eyes out of pleasure that I derived from just being so close to him.

When he didn't say a word again I opened my eyes to find his eyes locked on my hand. "Where did you find this?" He took the book from my hand to confirm that it was indeed his.

"Bibijaan gave it to me. I read a few of your poems. You write beautifully." I confessed. He had moved back slightly and the distance was a punishment to me. "Thanks." He smiled genuinely.

"You still write these?" I interrogated.

"No I don't. The last time I wrote one was almost a month back." He enlightened me and moved towards the table to place the diary on it.

"Why don't you write anymore?" I questioned and watched him come back to me with a small piece of cake in his hand. "Because I finally found my angel. I don't have to write to her anymore." His reply was appealing and it made my insides melt.

"I wasn't an angel when you met me. You called me a bitch back then. Remember?" I almost pouted my lips as I complained. "Nooo. Did I? I don't remember doing any such thing. You must be dreaming." He tried to stop himself from laughing.

"Yeah! Yeah!" I chortled with him. He then raised the cake to my mouth. "Stop! It's yours. Why didn't you have it as yet?" I stopped him. "because you like it." He said.

"It's the last piece." I informed him.

"I know." He again raised his hand but I stopped him. "What will you eat then?" I thought he liked cakes too.

"We can always share." He said before finally placing that cake in my mouth, only to seize it with a kiss. It almost knocked my senses. It was a hard kiss and I couldn't even have the cake properly. He pulled back when he was done. I would have called it gross if I saw someone else doing it but with Humza everything was fine, everything was beautiful.

I gave him a small peck on the lips and he shut his eyes savoring the moment again. "No matter how delicious your lips are, it doesn't mean that I have forgiven you for not telling me about that ape." He complained.

"He was far from an ape Humza. Besides, there was nothing to say. He had proposed me back in high school and I had declined. What else would I say?" I whined while planting small kisses on his lips back to back. His hands had slided accross my waist and he lifted me up. Apparently we were not done as yet.

He began to move towards the bed and I began to unbutton his shirt. "But I want to know everything about you. Everything that I have missed." He said while shoving me on the bed and then climbing on top of me.

"There is nothing more." I said as this time he kissed me firmly and longer than before.