A Few Days Later

"Beat you there," Layan gasped as she scrambled off my lap and ran down the hallway of the new apartment.

"Cheater!"

I heard Lila laughing from the hallway as my father held Lila and ran past me toward Layan and Lila's new room. My father gave Layan a weak apology as he pushed past her to the new place.

A few minutes later, we all converged in the small room, and we were all smiling stupidly. "We look like idiots," Layan said, laughing.

"We are still not going to adventure park today," I said firmly.

Layan shrugged. "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Lila said, looking at me, "If Baba Muhammad has time, of course."

"I have a few things here and there, but for the most part, I'm free for the next month."

"Yes!" Layan said excitedly. "We can go fishing, camping, maybe hicking."

I paled with every one of Layan's suggestions. "Fishing is something you will have to do on your own," I mumbled, holding my stomach.

Layan grinned. "Why do you get seasick easily ?"

I laughed. "I don't know."

"So what are we going to do today?"

I looked at my cell phone to see that it was after two. "We can head to the batting cages."

"That sounds like fun," I said. "You three, go ahead. I have some things I need to do." My father looked at me, confused.

He seemed to dismiss it as he saw Lila and Layan excited faces "Go get ready, girls."

Layan ran out of the room quickly, chattering about miniature golf in Disney Land, which I doubt if she remembers it.

"Why aren't you coming with us?" He asked. "Please don't tell me you got to go meet the professor."

I shook my head, "No, No it is just that I must go meet some old friend of mine,"

"All right." He smiled, and I rubbed my forearm as I thought of something. "Thanks for paying this month rent for this place. I promise I will pay you back one day."

"No need, I am your father" He murmured and smiled back.

Suddenly, Layan and Lila tumbled into the room, excitement evident in their eyes.

"Mama," Layan said. "I'm going to take your small camera."

"That would be great," I replied. "I'd love some photos of you and Lila," I stated.

"Where are you going, Mommy?" Layan asked warily.

"I need to see a lawyer," I replied. That got her attention, but I didn't elaborate. "We'll talk about it later."

Layan nodded and kissed my cheek, and so did Lila. I stuffed my feet in my shoes and pulled my sweater back on. "We'll be back for dinner," He said.

"That sounds perfect."

"I'll take good care of them."

I nodded.

"Hurry," Lila said, tugging my father's hand. Then my father stopped mid his way.

He asked me, "I booked you three tickets for an adventure park this weekend," He informed.

"What ?" I questioned, "I don't think I will be able to m-"

I looked at Layan and Lila, rolling their eyes as they clasped their hands together, giving their best "please" expression. These girls could get me to do anything with their sweet eyes and dimpled cheeks. Hell, I was ready to give them the same appearance just to help them.

"We can go."

"Why don't you ask some of your friends to join us?" My father asked Lila as we all walked to the front door. "Let's see if I remember Tariq, Mariam and Sarah. Maybe they'd like to go, too."

The radiant smile on Lila's face fell. Her eyes met mine for a moment, so he turned to watch me. "They can't be there, Baba," I said softly, but my shoulders were squared, and my chin held up firmly. I was determined to show that I was unaffected by everything for Lila. However, my hands started to tremble, and there was a little quiver of my lip and in my voice.

"Sarah's in the hospital, and the rest is –" I said, averting my gaze from my father.

"They're in Jannah," Lila finished for me.

Hearing that made my heartbreak. Knowing I didn't have much time with Lila. No matter how much time I had with Lila, it wouldn't be enough. Soon, I'd have to say goodbye to her – for good.

****

The Weekend

After missing the batting cage adventure. I had to make it up for them, so I took them to an adventure park as promised—just the three of us. We got into the adventure park, and Layan was leading the way while I looked at the way Lila saw everything. It was terrific. She was young, but she still had a perspective that left me thinking how much I took for granted. I had known for a long time what I'd been missing in my life, but it hit me harder that afternoon. I'd wasted so much damn time, something that I won't get back.

The moment we returned from our fun-filled day. Both girls were so tired they slept in the back seat of my rented car.

I wanted that little extra moment with them, holding them close as I used to do. I'd done it before. I carried both of the girls to the apartment to their bed. After that, we had some girls movie night we shared while I wasn't studying. Ya Allah, what a fool I'd been to believe that they are anything but my girls.

When I returned to the living room, The lighting was dim throughout the apartment. I sprawled out on the couch. It was rare I got any alone time. Around a half an hour later, there was a knock on the door.

"Ibrahim," I said shocked, "What are you doing here?"

"You never miscarried," He accused, and I felt my world crashing down with those three words.