《You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)》Chapter 65
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Aneel looked at me. Like really did. He was like a statue. When I coughed, he snapped out of it.
"Where are you going?" he asked. I mentally rolled my eyes. I just knew he was going to ask that.
"Am going to meet my father.." I told him and he nodded.
"Why are you wearing that?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes at him.
"I think you know it better, I mean, you are the one here who once was a hafiz. You should know better why I am wearing this" I said and he just rolled his eyes. I knew that he knew that I wear it to hide my beauty. Its for our own safety and for not to be attractive for other people. Our beauty is only meant to be for our husbands, and theirs to us. I mean, that was what I once read in a book before. Aneel was just looking forward.
"Do you want to come?" I asked him and he just shook his head. I looked over at the clock and saw that Yessin would arrive in ten minutes. I went over to Aneel and sat down beside him. I grabbed his hand but he snatched it away.
"You wanna talk?" I asked him and he just shrugged his shoulders. I knew he wanted, but he just couldn't trust anyone now. I knew it.
"Aneel, you can tell me anything. I won't judge you. I won't think bad of you. Just, let me in and let me help. We were doing so fine.." I whispered the last part. I missed it. I really missed the times we were getting along.
"I was fine with her too. Look how that ended" he said sarcastically. I sighed and grabbed his chin and turned his face to me.
"Do you want her back? Do you want to divorce me and go back to her to be 'fine'? Aneel, do you want her back?" I asked him, with a stronger voice. It was enough. I wanted to make something from my life, but I couldn't do that when he was so confused, confusing me. He looked away, not knowing what to say.
"You don't even know it, do you? I am out" I said and put on my shoes and grabbed my jacket, walking out of the house. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Its going to be alright, I told myself and waited for Yessin. When he arrived he stepped out.
"Are you ready?" he asked me a bit unsure. I nodded and went into the car with him.
We were outside a hospital. Why were we here? I felt my hands shaking and I intwined them to let it stop. I felt cold, I realised when I intwined my fingers. My heart was beating too fast and I felt like I was going to pass out. I took a deep breath and followed Yessin who was taking a step forward. He turned to me and smiled sadly. That helped and I smiled back. I felt a bit better and sighed. Ya Allah, let everything be alright. Give us strength and help me. I can only trust you so please help me.., I prayed. Yessin asked the lady behind the counter something and we started walking again. I couldn't hear anything. It was like I just heard my own head. All the other voices were just blocked out of my head. When we were walking I felt someone grab my hands, taking one hand and intwining our fingers. I smiled, knowing who it was. We kept walking till Yessin stopped in front of a room. Without a warning, he opened the door and walked in. I sighed and took a step too. It felt like my feet were twohundred kilograms. I felt nervous, sad and angry all together. I kept walking til I saw that face. That face who looked with wide eyes at me. I neared to him and stood there at the end of the bed. We kept looking at each other for a long time, not able to say anything. Yassir looked like him, definitely.
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"Salaam" I said. He just moved his head a bit, still not being able to talk.
"I am Yasmin. This is my husband" I said looking at Aneel. Aneel looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and turned back to the man. His eyes widened and he looked at Aneel, then at our intwined fingers and then back at me.
"Dad.. say something" Yessin said, sitting next to him. Yessin then turned to us.
"My dad has cancer. After your 'death' mum and dad had too many fights and everything went wrong so they divorced. He has been in this room for two years now" Yessin said with a shaky voice. I felt immediately bad. Just because of me, these people had it so diffcult. It was all my fault. It was always. I looked over to him with guilty eyes and he shook his head.
"I.. Its more impo-rtant that...that you are a-alive.." he whispered. I couldn't take it any longer. Wanting the warmth, I went over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped his too and I started crying. It was so weird. It was like I've known these people for so long without knowing them. My arms went tighter and I heard him crying too. That made me feel so bad, but happy too. They.. maybe they cared..
After a few minutes we released our arms and just looked at each other.
"I...I don't know w-what to say" he whispered. I smiled.
"Me too.. Do you want me to tell you about me?" I asked him, not knowing why. There was not much to tell about me. He nodded happily and I smiled.
"Well.. I don't have a happy story or something like that. I am just a girl who breathes and believes in Allah. I..My family never cared about me. That's.. That's why I can't really trust people.." I said, wiping away the single tear. I sat down beside him and he grabbed my hand.
"They never did anything good to me, except for one thing" I said and looked over at Aneel. He half-smiled before closing his eyes for me to continue.
"They forced me in a marriage. A marriage which I thought would only bring me the worse, but it didn't. With the time, me and Aneel started to get along. And really beautiful things happened. I thank Allah for sending him" I said, looking at Aneel. His eyes widened a bit and he was smiling.
"But now, I can loose him. Its just.. The past never leaves us, right? Even though we want it, it never leaves us.bSo it didn't leave him too. And tha'ts why I can loose him any moment.." I said, not looking at Aneel. I was scared. Scared of what he might think. I looked at the man in front of me and saw that he had tears.
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"I.. I am so-so sorry" he said. I shook my head. It wasn't their fault, they didn't know. Yessin came next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We stayed like that for what felt like hours. Not saying anything. Just sitting there with our eyes closed, enjoying the feeling we couldn't feel for nineteen years. It was like we were spending all the time we lost.
"Thank you, Yessin" I said. We were outside for my house. He came closer and wrapped his arms around me.
"I am there for you, no matter what. You.. We are one, Yasmin. Never forget that. Your pain is mine, okay? So just.. I want to know everything about you. I want to spend more time with you to get to know you better.." he said. I snuggled closer. This.. I didn't have this feeling with Ibrahim. This.. This was real sibling love.
"I love you, my twin" I whispered and I felt him freeze. He then hugged me tighter and after a while we said our goodbyes. I went in the house. I didn't know where Aneel was. He just left the hospital and I didn't even realize it. I then heard a sound and took my phone out of my pocket. It was a message from Aneel.
'Don't worry about me. Am with a friend', it said. So, he was with Maryam. I was so damn sure he was with Maryam. I sighed and went inside the living room and my eyes caught something in the corner. It was the first time I saw it after a long time. I took off my jacket and went over to it. I took the guitar in my hands and smiled. Once at school my music teacher showed me how to play it because I had to perform for the whole school. I didn't sing, only played it. It was weird and fun. That was also the only lesson I enjoyed back then, realizing now how stupid I was. Now I wanted to do anything to go back to study and set a good future for myself. I sat down on the floor and started playing a bit. My fingers hurt but I didn't care. I missed this. When I got the good chords, I started playing the song I learned.
"I've never gone with the wind. Just let it flow. Let it take me where it wants to go till you open the door. There's so much more. I've never seen it before. I was trying to fly but I couldn't find wings. Then you came along and you changed everything.." I started singing, not hearing anything else. Not hearing the door opening or someone coming inside. I felt tears streaming down when I listened to the words I was singing.
"You lift my feet off the ground, spin me around. You make me crazier, crazier. Feels like I'm falling and I, I'm lost in your eyes.." I smiled a bit when I thought of Aneel's green eyes. How they went little like a chinese when he laughed.
"Watched from a distance as you made life your own. Every sky was your own kind of blue and I wanted to know how that would feel. And you made it so real.." My smile faded away when I thought about all the pain I used to had.
"You showed me something that I couldn't see. You opened my eyes and you made me believe.." I just hummed after the last sentence and after a few seconds I ended the song. I felt a single tear stream down and I wiped it away. When I opened my eyes I saw a shocked Aneel. He looked so shocked and his eyes were shining. It was so weird, like he had heard everything. Like he liked it. That thought faded away when I saw the girl behind him..
~~~~~
Final Editing Done (04-11-2016)
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