《You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)》Chapter 60
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I looked over at Aneel. He was now looking at the girl with wide eyes. It was like one push more and they would fall out. His mouth was slightly open and he was a bit pale. He tried to say something but nothing came out. I looked over at 'Maryam' and she looked at him with teary eyes. She took a step forward but Aneel took a step back. I grabbed his hand, maybe it would help but he was still tense. After a few seconds he looked at me. His eyes were black. The green of it was just gone. With a shaky voice he told me something that broke my heart.
"Out" he said and my eyes widened. Okay, we weren't a real couple but I wanted to be there for him.
"Out Sahra!" He slapped the wall beside him with his palm and I jumped a bit. I nodded because I was scared so I grabbed my jacket and put my shoes on. Never did I put them on this fast. They didn't move, they just looked at each other. It was over now. He is going back to her and divorce me. Then I have no one and nowhere to go. That feeling made me scared and I didn't even know why. I grabbed my phone which was in my pocket and called the only person I knew I could go to.
"Masara, can you take me from home?" I asked her. My voice was shaky and my throat hurt when I was talking. You know, sometimes you have this feeling that you need to cry, but you just can't and then you have this feeling in your throat, like someone is holding you throat, that was what I felt. I didn't hear Masara so I looked at the phone. My phone was off. Freaking brilliant. I sat down on the stairs outside our house and just waited. It was not that I had somewhere else to go. I wanted to go upstairs and yell at Maryam. I wanted to hug Aneel and ask him not to go. I wanted to be with him like we were a few minutes ago. Wasn't she dead? How did she come here? So many questions were building up in my mind. I didn't know I was crying until I felt someone wiping away my tears. I closed my eyes. I turned to that person which I knew exactly who it was and threw my hands around his neck. I couldn't held it anymore so I started crying out loud. I tightened my grip, needing the comfort.
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"Come on" he said after a while and let go off me. I stood up and he grabbed my hand. I turned to Yessin and saw that his eyes were red. Did he cry?..
We made our way to his car and I just stepped in, not caring where we were going to. I was too off to even realise everything. After a while he parked in front of a little house and just looked at it. I looked at him. He looked a bit sad so I squeezed his hand.
"This is our dad's house. He is.. he is in the hospital, so.. so no one is in here. You can stay here" he said and my eyes widened. I didn't have time to think because he stepped out and so did I. We made our way to the door and my heart was beating faster. I still didn't see my.. see him. I really wanted to, but it was too fast. I needed time. I needed to figure it out in my head first. We made our way inside and then I saw how little it was, compared to her house.
"I live here with my dad. I mean, our parents divorced a long time ago" he said awkwardly and made his way to a room. I just sat on the couch and looked around. It was not really beautiful but also not too bad. After a few minutes, Yessin came back and gave me some clothes.
"These are mine. You can use them. I- I'm sorry its bo-" he started rambling again. Its something he did often around me, while I felt too comfortable around him.
"You can relax a bit around me" I said and walked away to the room he came from to change into his clothes. I smelled them for a bit. He really smells good. Like.. like Aneel. I wonder what they were doing now. Did they make up? Did they talk about everything and agreed to being together? I bet they were happy. I was sure of it. I shook my head to not to think about it anymore and put on a smile before walking over to Yessin. He sat on the couch while watching TV and I layed down beside him, not having enough energy to held my head. His hands went to my hair and he stroked it.
"You want to talk about it?" he asked and I closed my eyes. I wanted to scream, to scream what had happened. I wanted to throw with things, helping to let the hurt fade away. But I knew I couldn't.
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"Not now" I said and he kept quiet. I was listening to his soft breathing and the little sound coming from the TV.
"When I was little, I always felt so empty. I felt not complete. Like there was something or someone out there who was going to help me. I had problems with sleeping back then. Always wanting the warmth and strength I could only get from that one person. My family didn't take it seriously. They thought it was just because I wanted attention. But it was not. I wanted it.That person. I wanted to feel okay. And when they told me when that I had a twin when I was sixteen, I was happy. You know why? Because I found what I was looking for all these years. I couldn't believe it when they told me that my twin died. I didn't. If my twin was dead, I would've felt it. That was what I told them, but they never believed me. So I started searching. I knew that she was alive. I knew it, I felt it. And then.. Then I found you, and now.. now I feel complete" he said and I sat up. I couldn't believe my ears. Tears started to stream down my face. I looked up at him and saw that he had tears too. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He.. he was the only one I could trust so much. I didn't know why, but now he told me this, I knew it.
After a few minutes Yessin stood up and went to his room. I wanted to explore the house so I went upstairs. There were two rooms and I went in one. There was a kingsize bed and it just called for me. My head was hurting so much so I throw myself on the bed. After a few seconds, Yessin came and layed down beside me. I looked at him and smiled. He smiled back and his smile was the last thing I saw that day..
~~~~~
Final Editing Done (04-11-2016)
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I am one of these lucky people who has the chance to go to school. As much as I dont like it, I am proud of myself that I didnt stop with school and became nothing. My parents try hard. They work hard just to give us a good future. And why disappointing them? I have this friend whose parents are rich. She was in school but never did well. Got bad grades, didnt pass her exams, was kicked out of school twice cause by us you cant fail a class two times. But her parents never punished her, so she doesnt realize how bad it is. I know that if I didnt care about school and my future, my dad wouldve already taken everything from me. When I see these people like my friend, I really get sad. What if your parents die out of nowhere and you are all alone? What are you going to do than? I mean, you dont have a diploma than that means no work, what will you eat? When I ask these girls like 'but how will you support yourself in the future?' they are like 'there will I have my husband for' or 'I am going to marry a rich person of course' and they mean this seriously. I dont get that, I really dont. Who says you are even going to get married? Maybe Allah doesnt want you to marry? You dont know whats going to happen in the future. Rich man? Maybe you will marry a person who is poorer than you, who didnt study too. What are you going to do than? I have a lot of friends who are going to marry this season and the girls and the boys both doesnt have a proper diploma or job. I find these scenes sad cause I am a person who wants a big house with a great design and they want it too. But for that, I need to work hard. You need to deserve such things. And studying is not even just for the future.
How many muslims did get a nobel price? Not many right? Why arent there many famous muslim professors? We as muslims need to prove ourselves so we need to study and become something. In my country, we need to prove ourselves so hard. There are a lot of racists and stuff like that and the most criminals are foreign people who didnt study. Than I am like 'we need to make a change, and that will only work if we study and smile at people on street'. Study, there are people out there who want to go to school but just cant. Study, your parents are trying hard just for you and its the least we can do back. Study, if you want to be able to buy anything you want and to help anyone you want. Study, cause you will see that you will get smarter..
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