《You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)》Chapter 25
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Oh and this chapter is dedicated to Sara_is_hungry cause she made a cover even though I didn't know her. Thank you sis, it means a lot!!♥
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I couldn't open my eyes. There was a weird smell and it hurt my nose. I tried to open my eyes but they felt heavy. Then I felt something on my hand. A soft touch was caressing my left hand, giving me tingles. When I was trying to figure out who it was, I heard a voice.
"I was fifteen when I became a hafiz. I memorized the whole Qur'an. I was so proud of myself. When I turned sixteen, I started teaching children everything my leaders taught me. I became an imam at such a young age. I loved Allah so much, so much that I never knew He would do this to me. You know what happened, why I'm like this now. I messed up everything. First Maryam then myself and now you. Please Sahra open your eyes, please" he whispered the last part. I tried to open my eyes but it didn't work. Did they put something on it? It felt really heavy. That's why I squeezed his hand a little. It was the only thing I could do to let him know that I could hear him. I felt that he froze under my touch. I hoped he wouldn't get mad at me.
"Sahra? Please, wake up. I'm so sorry please" he said and I tried really hard to open my eyes. Aneel was calling for a doctor and when he let go of my hand, my eyes opened easily. The first person I saw was Aneel. He looked exhausted and his eyes were red. He really didn't look good.
"I'm so sorry baby, please forgive me. I couldn't protect you.. Please, it's all my fault.. " he said while putting his head on my hands that he was holding. I let go of his hands and run my hand through his hair softly. I reminded myself of the words he said, making me feel distant towards him.
"I'm okay now, see. It's not your fault" I said. The memories of what happened came up. How I was standing in the dark alley. How Ibrahim neared me and grabbed me, beating me. I could still feel his punches in my stomach. He wanted to take revenge from what happened with Aisha. We both looked at the door when we heard someone coming in.
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"Hello Mrs. Osman, I'm doctor Parker. How are you feeling?" The doctor said. I returned the smile he was giving me.
"Sore, but I'm okay" I said. Alhamdulillah. But everything in me felt wrong. Every bone did hurt. It felt like people beat me up. Which wasn't wrong. But it was one person, not a whole bunch of people.
"Okay, we need to do some tests and you have to stay here for two days. Can I speak to you in private?" He asked me. I looked over at Aneel and saw that he wanted to complain but he stayed silent. He looked at me to see if I was okay and I nodded. Then he went out of the room and the doctor came a bit close.
"I want to talk to you. Your condition is something we see much here. Do you want to talk about it?" He said. I didn't understand. What exactly? He saw my confused look and carried on.
"I know that in the Islamic culture women get abused much by their husbands. But you don't have to go through that anymore, we can involve the police with it" he said and my eyes widened. I couldn't believe it. He thought that Aneel abused me?
"It was not my husband who beat me up. It was my brother. And you know, that people abuse their women has nothing to do with Islam. In Islam, women are important. Women even have more rights than men, did you know that? Have you even studied Islam? I don't think so, cause if you did, you would know the difference between culture and religion. Look at fifty years ago. Non-Muslim people abused their wives too. It's something cultural and has to do with the pride and status of men. And abuse is over the whole world, in every street" I said. It was true that I was abused and that in my culture it was normal, but that had nothing to do with my religion. He looked at me with wide eyes and couldn't say anything else.
"Okay. The nurses will check on you. If you need anything just push the red button over there. I'll call your husband in, if you want?" He said and I nodded. I thanked him and he went. Aneel came in and smirked.
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"What?" I asked smiling. He took the chair and sat down by my bed.
"Nothing" he said, still smirking.
"You really scared me.." he said after a while, looking away. My finger touched his hand without realizing and I felt myself drawing patterns on his skin.
"Why?" I asked. He couldn't care, could he? I mean, he made it quite obvious. My thoughts went back to the night and I pulled my hand back.
"Because you were in the same state I found Maryam in. And when I found her, she was.. dead. I was so scared that the same thing had happened again" he said and his voice was shaking. I sat up. It did hurt but I acted like I was fine. I went close to his face and grabbed it to let him look in my eyes. He didn't look me in the eyes and that frustrated me.
"Look me in the eyes" I told him. He closed his eyes and I sighed.
"Aneel" I said and he opened his eyes and looked me in the eyes. I was once again lost in his eyes. I'd never seen such beautiful eyes before. So bright and cold, but you could see that behind that coldness they were warm.
"I'm okay, I'm here. Nothing happened and nothing is your fault. Please, please let me in and let me help you" I said. I meant every word I said. I promised Maryam. I needed for him to find himself again, even though his words were following me.
"It isn't easy. I'm...scared" he said closing his eyes again. I squeezed his cheek and he leant in to my touch. Such a lion he was.
"Of what?" I asked him. My fingers trailed along his face and he just leant in more.
"I'm scared that I'll get hurt again, that I will hurt again" he whispered. He opened his eyes and looked directly into mine.
"Aneel I'm scared too. I'm scared of you. I'm scared that when you go fight outside, you wouldn't come home one day. I'm scared that you will do the same as they did to me. I'm scared that you will drug yourself so much that you will die. I'm scared of being scared. But I'm ready to help you. Trust me" I said and he took a deep breath. He stared at me for a few more seconds before he nodded.
"I'll try" he said and I felt how I tired I really was. He looked at me as if I wanted to sleep and I nodded. It was like 2 A.M. He helped me laying down and he sat on the chair.
"Aren't you going to sleep?" I said. I couldn't sleep knowing he was uncomfortable.
"Yeah, but I'm okay" he said, trying to make himself comfortable on the chair. I rolled my eyes and went a bit over to the edge and patted the space next to me. He raised an eyebrow and I raised mine too, as if I was challenging him. He shook his head and came slowly over and lied down next to me. We sat very close and uncomfortable. That's when he sighed and put his arm around my shoulder to make it comfortable. I smiled a bit and placed my head on his chest. And I swear I heard him saying
"I'm sorry"
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He's so complicated! Omg, I just made an apple pie and thought that it was going to look nice but it looks ridiculous and the apples that were on top of it are lost I FEEL SO BAD
Final Editing Done (11-10-2016)
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