i am so ashamed of my self how i even think about him like that when he was saving lives .

i moved out to find him .

he was standing alone and looking at the trees and moonlight and exhaling his smoke .

i stood just behind him and i don,t know what to say or how to say .i know he sensed my presence but still he didn,t turned around . i wrapped my arm around his waist from behind and placed my head on his back . i was back hugging him .

"i .... am .... sorry ." i confessed.

still he didn,t said anything .

"i .... am. sorry xavier... i know i miss judged you ..i am so ashamed.i ... i when heared about the clubs i thought ...you did what other people do ,other people do not have power but they still do these bad deeds so as you were mafia king i thought..."

"what that i also do human trafficking . i am king their is no doubt but i didn,t became the king by choice .i was made mafia larib and i am glade i did because now i had the power to stop these people who does these things behind the mask of law."

" no ...hmmm ..i have scene alot of cases in my life that it scare me alot xavier ...i have heared about mafia work so i thought. .....i am sorry ."

"i know their is alot of darkness in this world jan but it doesnot mean the light doesn,t exist . i may have a power but it up to me what i spread through it . But if i not say something doesn,t mean you will not search for the light and be consumed by the darkness. i am not denying that i never spread darkness but i stopped the mintue i saw my light and you know what was my light ."

he turned around and cupped my face in his hands .

"it was you , you were my light , i let go of alot of things but a man can,t be change in a night jan "

he cleaned the tears from my cheek and kissed them one by one.

"but i guess i don,t deserve this light . i am no saint ....but i thought i had the right to fall in love with a pure and innocent girl and make a family with her and give her all the love .... but .. i was wrong a mafia king like me don,t have the right to love ."

his words were hurting me bad .i could not breath .

"no... don,t say..... it please."

"i was a fool to think i could make you love me or to have you as my light no innocent and beautiful and religious girl like you should have a monster like me i was fool to bring you to my life janiman i fool to think that i will leave these darkness" he moved his thumb on my cheeks and i closed my eyes feeling his thumb moving on my eyes , jaws and lips.

"you deserve a nice guy janiman who will help you to get more close to your allah .....i am only taking you away from him ........i will set you free " on his words my eyes open .

" what.... do ...you mean ?"

"i will give you divorce and you.."

"please stop ...just stop ..... " i moved back from him

my vision was getting blurry due to my tears .

"what you think of me mr xavier albert thomson. first you came in my life forcefully. .... i begged you to let me go but you didn,t .... i hated you but ... you still didn,t backed off and was always there for me .......now when i am so deelpy and dangerously fallen for you. and can,t take a single breath without you you are letting me go ... "

"do you have any idea how i spend last 3 days not seeing your face , how i slept at night with you being near with me .... i was feeing so lonely and you are suggesting i forever live like this restless. ..... how mean you could be "

"i ... know i .. did wrong by misjudging you but can,t you forgive me , when i can forgive you for entering my life and taking me away from my family .....you put a gun to my head .. you almost engaged someone else but i forgave you ...than why can,t you ...why can,t you man let go , why can,t you guys forgive when we can do it no matter what you do . tell me why can,t you forgive me ... why is it so easier for you guys to finsih everything so easily and let go of your love. tell me ...

he was looking at me shocked .

"xavier i love you and i can,t live a second without you if you think by letting me go you are giving me better life them you are not . i have done wrong i know but i will not let you go i didn,t marry you so that when i found some fault in you i will not stand by you but leave ...

i said to him with anger and were crying alot . he still didn,t made move.

"i love you and i will not leave you , no matter what! if you have flaws or i have, we will make it better and you don,t have to bring me close to my lord i will do it for you, i am not that weak that you will hurt my iman but i will also make your iman more strong and that is my promise ."

he jerked me towrds his hard chest and my lips got attached to his lips. it was not a soft kiss but a kiss sealing our promise

i moved my hands around his neck and brought him more closer to me if it was possible . he moved his hand down to my hip bone and a little more down and he squeezed , due to shocked i opened my mouth and he deepen the kiss making me go crazy . i held him for my dear life i could not stand now.

i also responded to him telling him how much i meant my each and every word .

everything around us vanished, there was only him and me .

after a while he moved back alittle to let us breath . he put his forhead on my forhead not before giving me a kiss.

"do you think i can live without you, only god knows how difficult it was to say those things ...how could i live without my jan you are my life my everything i love you so much you have no idea "

"if it was hard why you even said those things ." i looked up in his eyes.

HE again cleaned the tears from my cheeks.

"i thought i didn,t desreve you "i put my finger on his lips .

"don,t ever say that , you deserve me more than anything "

i hugged him tight to me " don,t ever let me go please ever ,you are my everything "

he hold me close to him by my wasit " i will never , not even death could keep us apart. "

"ofcourse because after death i will be with you in jannah "

i don,t know how long we were hugging when he said .

"its getting late we better head back before dadajan worries "

he wAnted to move away but i didn,t let him.

"no please i don,t want to go back right now they will then not let me meet you and will make me stay away from you . please lets not get back just hold me please "

"suddenly i was scooped up in his arms .

"what are you doing "

"no matter how much i want to be here with you but we can,t , beacuse if we stay a little longer it will be hard for me to control my self , we have to go baby and you have to wait just one more day and then no one can come betwen us it will be you and me "

i blushed on his statment

he came to his seat and sat down and drove the car .

when we arrived dadajan scolded the guys for their vulgar parties and then us because we didn,t told him and did such childish act by going alone at night without any men ."

after that we were.dismissed to our room as we have to.wake up early morning.

we all were.preparimg our self for jumma prayer . dadajan want us all to go to masjid , yes all male and female have to go to masjid , there was famale masijid too.

dadajan had made some food dishes and wanted to distribute them among poors before the start of his grand son marriage so that everything goes well

he wanted that me and xavier both go but he knew xavier will.never agree to go to masjid so he wanted me to go.

every male was going i also want him to go but i guess i need to wait .

imagine the head is covered

after getting ready i went to his room .i knocked on his door and went inside ,he was sitting on his bed with his laptop.

he looked at me from head to toe and smiled

"you are looking really beautiful " he said and closed his laptop and were coming towrds me

"thank you. ...actually dadajan want us to go to masijd so .."

he stop on his place

"oooh ok "

"xavier he want to do a dua before our marriage and some disrtubution he wanted us to be there. ...... please will you go with me "

i asked him but i already knew his answer .i know he would say no.

" ok "

"i know that you .. .."

wait! what did you say " i looked. at him astonished .

"i said ok! will you wait for a while .i need to get ready "

"...y....es ofcourse " a smile came on my face .

"'fine i will be back quickly " he came and kissed my forhead and hen left.for washrom.

after few moments he came out and i really never saw him this handsome again ,well i did but he is looking so handsome . i once again fall for him .i was starring at him don,t know how long.

"jan please don,t look at me like that or we will be not able to go anywhere "

i quickly looked away blushed .

he came near me and kissed my forhead .

"i can,t wait any longer ....May tomorrow come quickly ."

i was so red now , he held my hand

"lets go "

"

everyone already went before us we also went he stopped the car infront of masjid ..

i opened my door but he did not .

i looked at him "are you not coming ?

he looked at me and said .

"no and please don,t ask me to,you go i will wait here ."

he really broke my heart but i didn,t said anything i will not force him he will come eventually.

"its ok you came till here inshallah soon you will also go inside i know that "

i said and went out . he was right slowly and steady he will change if i force him he will not change at all .

as i and other girls went out dadjan and other male of our family was waiting .

"beta if you are ready i think we should distribute the food , you do it on girls side we.will do it on men side .

"but dadjan wait for zayn. "

he was not here i texted him he said he was coming he was parking the car .

everyone looked shocked.

"beta zayn will never come i know " dadajan said upset.

at the same time zayn was coming out of masjid towrds us, dadajn back was to him and everyone else.

i was really shocked "did he went inside but he said he was parking the car . i will ask him later not now .

when he saw me he was shocked but he quickly hid his emotions .its seems like he didnot want us to know .

"yeah he would not come beacuse he is already here " i said and gestured at his direction everyone was looking at him stunt .

. dadajan had tears in his eyes .

aman also had tears she hugged dadi jan .

they quickly cleaned their tears when he approached us.

"so should we go or we have to do the distribution "

"no my son we still have to do the distribution " dadajan said .

"ok , so why are you guys standing here... is everything all right " he asked and looked at dadajan .

"yes my son everything is fine now " he put his hand on his forhead.

we distributed the food and other things and did our dua . now we have to move back to home beacuse we have to get ready for the mehandi tonight. .

"