Z A I D A A N

I watched in amusement as Sahifa placed her hands on her hips and gave me small pout,

"Zaidaan phupa, are you here for me or for the baby?"

I shot Khalifa an amused look as he shook his head in his daughter's direction,

"Ofcourse I'm here to meet you!"

She stared at me for a full minute before pouncing on me with all her might,

"I knew it! You and phuppujaan are the best! You're not here for the baby!"

I curled a strand of her hair,

"Well, the baby is cute, right?"

She reluctantly shook her head,

"Maybe. But he isn't smart like me. He can't talk! All he does is cry. I don't like him."

I chuckled and flicked her nose,

"Now, good girls don't say that. Think of it like this, you can teach the baby new things, and even play with him!"

She huffed at me and rolled her eyes, resembling Kainaat in more ways than one,

"Everyone says that. I can't sleep between mom and dad now either. How do I play with him, phupa ji?"

I rubbed the back of my neck,

"Well, you can annoy him."

A mischievous glint crossed her eyes, and i wondered if I'd done a huge mistake by saying her that.

Within seconds she leaped down my lap and ran ahead,screaming at the top of her lungs,

"Mamma come fast, I'm making the baby cry!"

I laughed as Kainaat gasped from behind us and slapped my arm,

"Stop corrupting my neice!"

I gave her a sly smile, and pulled her closer, winking as she gasped and Khalifa scoffed, to which she pulled away before disappearing somewhere.

Today was to be baby Sahil's Aqeeqah, and all of the Khan family, along with my family and Husna's maternal family, with some distant friends were present to meet the new addition to the family.

The house was decorated with blue and silver balloons, strings and various other strings, with everyone wearing the same combination of shades of blue and silver.

Me and Kainaat matched in sky blue and dark blue, and I watched as she made her way to me and rocked her nephew in her arms, sniffing him every now and then.

I gave her a weird look,

"Why do you sniff the baby?"

She shot me a glare, "I'm not sniffing, Zaid. I'm inhaling his baby scent."

I scrunched, "His what?"

She rolled her eyes, "Come here,"

She said before motioning me to hold the baby. I held my arms up in mock surrender,

"No. No way. Babies scare me. I mean, he's so tiny I'm not taking any risks."

Shr frowned, "But you did hold him at the hospital!"

I scoffed, "Were you so focused on me holding Sahil that you failed to notice that Khalifa was holding him for support and I was just, like, touching the blanket or are you always so ignorant?"

She coloured a bright shade of pink,

"I'm not ignorant!"

"Okay. Unobservant?"

"That's not a word."

"It can be."

"Whatever."

We fell silent after that, before she bat an eyelash and I took a precautionary step behind. Uh-oh, she was using her skills,

"Zaid?"

I rolled my eyes, "No, Kainaat. Don't blackmail me like this."

"Shut up and hold the baby."

With that she stepped forward and practically shoved the tiny bundle of muscle and bones in my arms. I stumbled as my arms trembled, and noticing my hesitance, Kainaat shook her head and muttered something along the line sof me being a baby.

She then placed her hand around my arm, supporting me. We sat down with baby Sahil in my arms, her arm around my arm which held him, her palm on his tiny stomach,

"See, relax your muscles. He's a baby, he won't bite."

I did as ordered, and for a minute my heart leaped out of my chest when Sahil moved a bit in my arms and life nearly left my soul when he made a noise.

She chuckled as I slowly got the hang of it, the feeling of holding him feeling my heart with content. And that's when I actually understood why Kainaat kept sniffing- no, inhaling his scent. It actually made sense, and felt damn good.

We sat there as Kainaat made faces at him, his eyes a reflection of Khalifa's, with him in my arms.

Kainaat placed her palm at Sahil's tiny stomach, and on an instinct, I kept mine above hers.

She looked up to meet my gaze, and I didn't know what, but something caused us to still.

I could feel the elders watching us, a small smile on their faces, and I watched how something clouded Kainaat's eyes, a realization of sort, and she broke the eye contact, leaving me feeling uncanny.

I looked up and instantly, everyone looked here and there, and I smirked as Kainaat took the baby away from me.

I sat beside Kainaat's dadi as she held her great grandson, Husna beside her as usual. The older woman gave me a side glance and in a very casual manner, said,

"Life is a mystery, isn't it?"

I smiled at her "ji, bilkul. It works in weird ways."

She gave me a look I didn't know how to describe, before saying,

"InShaAllah, something tells me, my Kainaat is going to be a mother soon."

I gave her a shocked look and glanced at Husna, who was equally shocked as I stuttered,

"I...Dadijaan...you do know..."

She chuckled at my expression,

"You did say life works in a weird way."

I frowned, "I said."

She motioned with her hand for me to look ahead, and I looked ahead to find Kainaat standing politely beside my mother and talking to some aunty, an awkward smile on her face.

"So just as you said," I heard Dadi say, "life will work in a weird way."

My frown deepened, and Husna shifted in her position,

"But, dadu.."

Dadijaan kissed the top of Sahil's head,

"Haye,haye meri husnpari, my Husna, you fret a lot. Listen to what I said, and just say InShaAllah."

I shot her a quizzical look, and she shrugged, taking Sahil from dadijaan and going towards Khalifa and Saher.

I kissed Dadijaan's hand and she place dher hand on the top of my head and showered me with duaas.

I then left and joined Inaya and my parents, as we watched Sahifa cut the blue frosted cake, which had the words Welcome Sahil written on it.

As the three tier cake was passed around, I stood with Kainaat and fed her a peice, and in one swift motion, she flicked my nose with her finger, smudging the icing over it.

My eyes widened as she threw her head back in laughter, and all I did was stare at her because right then, the kainaat's most beautiful laughter was to be cherished.

Fariyal was seen very less throughout the entire event, and she came out at the end once almost all the guests had left.

Her belly was modestly hid behind a shawl, and she gave me short smile of acknowledgement before sitting beside Kainaat, who instantly put a pillow behind her to make her comfortable.

Kainaat had been a constant support in the past nine months, and I knew the sisters had bonded way more than they did in their entire life.

Husna sat on her other side with a piece of cake, and Fariyal cheekily took it from her.

I looked away, not wanting to intrude a sisterly moment.

Khalifa and Sami stood beside me just as I turned away, and patted my back,

"Wassup?"

I shrugged, "Nothing, why?"

They too shrugged in return before Khalifa cleared his throat,

"Fariyal's due in a few weeks, or days. We don't know. It could be anytime."

My heart raced as I realised where this was going,

"Yeah," I managed to get out, my throat parching.

"What will happen to this child, Zaidaan?"

I slumped my shoulders in defeat at Khalifa's question and he sighed at my response.

"Will Abaan...?"

I shook my head and looked at him,

"I don't know."

The three of us looked back at Fariyal, who now had her hand on her belly, and Kainaat seemed to be talking to the baby inside her. Husna laughed at something, and Fariyal watched them with so many emotions on her face.

Fariyal didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve the painful happiness, the stab on her heart. She didn't deserve Abaan.

No. Abaan didn't deserve her.

I took in a shaky breath as my thoughts ruined my relation with my brother, and I couldn't believe Abaan would do something like this.

Then again, it's Abaan.

"Fariyal can't raise a child alone,"

I ran a hand through my hair as Khalifa voiced his concerns,

"I know," I said, "InShaAllah, she won't have to."

I glanced one last time at the three of them, an unsettling feeling settling in me the longer I thought about Fariyal and Abaan's child.

Ya Allah, help us all.

***

Kainaat had stopped at her parent's home for the next day on my ammi's suggestion, and I returned to my home with my family.

Once in mine and Kainaat's room, I tossed my watch on the bedside table, and settled on the bed, tossing and turning until I could no longer find sleep.

Sighing, I got up and made my way to my sanctuary, my safe haven.

A wave of deja vu hit me when I laid the canvas down in the middle of the room, scattering paints and brushed around it.

I small smile lit up my face as the memory of the last time I'd painted resurfaced, of how Kainaat had interrupted me, of the first time I held her to sleep.

I took a stroke of yellow and drew a line, absolute nothingness on my mind as my hands worked on their own, maybe to paint my love.

Unlike the last time, when I'd used black and white, this time, I used every bright, pastel and dark colour existing.

It wasn't a picture in particular, or rather an abstract that was taking up figures, and I watched in awe as my art told me that if there was any beauty in this world, then it was because of art. It was so because I was an artist. It was so because of art, and Kainaat was a puzzle of breathtaking art. And I was the artist.

If there was any beauty in my world, then it was because of Kainaat.

I'd always questioned my love for art, and me of all people being a secret artist. But now I knew why destiny chose me to stroke everything in colours on a blank canvas, to fill spaces with a mere liquid that brightened up the dullness, to fill voids in the mystery, to transform emptyness with beauty.

It was fated, because Kainaat was to be my muse.

It started off with a black and white picture, and now as I filled colours on a palette, splattering random colours to make new shades, did I realise just how passionately life had unveiled every aspect of this kainaat, by Kainaat.

So I tinged the last shade of dark maroon in the middle of the Juliet Rose, a pale yellow background to the pastel and dark flower, with Kainaat on my mind.

Kainaat loved Juliet Roses, and I loved Kainaat, she was my art, she was my muse, she was my life, she was my Kainaat.

And in a matter of sort, everytime I painted something related to Kainaat, this being the second time, the brushes seemed lighter than ever, the colours seemed more appealing, the picture a blur that became clear with every stroke, painting a lot more easier.

It was as if I was falling in eternal bliss of an endless empty pit, but I knew I was exploring galaxies that never existed everytime her scent hit me.

Kainaat, my universe, was altering the pace of my winds, changing the directions of my waves, silencing the rustle of my leaves.

She was Kainaat, and she ruled my kainaat. And if given a choice,I would choose her over my soul, everytime.

She was my muse, and artist loved his muse through each exhale of his breath, even long after the painting was complete.

She was my muse, and every fibre that made me whole, would forever be incomplete without her.

And even after being married for so long, she was no less than a heartbeat to me. I may own my heart, but she owned every single heartbeat.

And with every passing second, I couldn't thank Allah enough, for I found the best of the universe, in my Kainaat.

***

Days had passed and it was just another regular day as I headed back home.

Kainaat had a night shift, and I groaned as I realized I'd have to spend the night alone.

Our schedules had kept us busy throughout the week, and I was looking forward to some free time this weekend.

However, just as I about to reach home, my phone pinged with a message from Kainaat,

Pick me up please,shift cancelled. Will tell you the details soon. We gotta go to my home, now. Urgent.

I frowned and replied with a simple 'Okay' before speeding back on the road.

I reached MidCity Hospital and Kainaat stood near the entrance. She ran in with a panic stricken face as soon as she saw me.

My heart raced as the unsettling feeling I'd felt a few days back on the aqeeqah came rushing back to me,

"What happened?"

Kainaat shook her head,

"Fariyal. She's called everyone urgently. She says it's something to do with the baby. Dadi especially backed her up, I don't know what exactly it is. Tayajaan and Dad are already there, apparently. Baba called me a few minutes back to tell me to get you and that you weren't picking up their calls."

I nodded and my frowned deepened, so did that weird feeling, and I checked my phone.

Sure enough, there were a dozen missed calls from my dad and tayajaan.

We reached the Khan residence in twenty minutes, and one look at Kainaat, and I knew she was having the same feeling as me.

Before we stepped out, I took her hand in mine,

"Hey. It's gonna be okay, InShaAllah."

She nodded and squeezed my hand, taking in a deep breath,

"InShaAllah, Zaid. InshaAllah."

We stepped out and made our way inside, and Kainaat rushed to Husna and Fariyal, placing protective hand on Fariyal's stomach with a questioning gaze.

I sat between my dad and Tayajaan, across Kainaat's dad, Khalifa and Sami.

Dadijaan was quietly running a soothing hand over Kainaat's mom's arm, and Husna squeezed Kainaat's mom's hand as Saher Bhabhi looked painfully at Fariyal.

"What happened?" I broke the silence.

Fariyal's dad rubbed his hands together and leaned forward,

"Fariyal has decided something," he said, "regarding the baby."

I waited for him to continue, but when he didn't, I turned to my dad,

"Decided what?"

I glanced at Kainaat and she looked back at me with the same expression as me, clueless.

My dad licked his lips,

"Whatever she has decided, I think...I think she...Fariyal is right and reasonable with her decision. But..."

He trailed on, not meeting my gaze.

My heart thudded so loud against my ribs and now, I directly turned to Fariyal, who refused to meet anyone's eyes,

"Fariyal?" I called out.

When she just fidgeted, Kainaat sighed,

"Fariyal, just tell."

Fariyal took in a deep breath, and what she said next literally made the ground beneath me slip,

"I will not raise this child, and I know Abaan definitely won't. I refuse to own my baby."

My lips parted with an emotion I couldn't recognise,

"W-what?"

Kainaat's face had paled a few more shades, and she stood rooted the ground.

And as Fariyal uttered her next sentence, if the ground beneath my feet had slipped previously, it was now as if my soul had left my body,

"I want you and Kainaat to adopt this baby."

So just as you said, life will work in a weird way.