I took in deep, shaky breaths as we bid Abaan goodbye. I stood between Fariyal and Inaya, watching the chauffer place Abaan's bags in.

He stole steely glances at Fariyal, who seemed too pleasant at the sight of her husband leaving. Zaidaan stood on the other end, keeping an eye on Allah knows what.

"Allah hafiz, mamma."

I heard Abaan say as he kissed my mother-in-law's hand, and a part of me wondered if this was the same Abaan from a few days back. I guess no matter how bad of a person someone was, they could never be anything but gentle with the woman who birthed them.

Stealing a glance at Fariyal, I watched her watch the mother and son exchange, her eyes glazed as she fixed her gaze on Abaan's a figure, a tough facade on her face.

I sighed and looked at Inaya, who looked back at me and pinched the bridge of her nose, resembling my husband when he was nervous.

He walked over to us, and surprisingly, placed an arm around Fariyal's shoulders and briskly pulled her to him, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

Inaya shifted uncomfortablly around me, and I looked away, not wanting to invade their privacy, even if I was standing right beside them.

His eyes were soft as Fariyal's steely gaze tore him apart, and I wondered if Fariyal was letting her emotions rule over, or if Abaan was really the beast she'd told me he was.

He nodded my way, and I nodded back, a silent understanding type thing passing between us that it's better if we not spoke, even if I didn't know it would be the second last time.

He smirked at Inaya, who sighed and stepped forward to give him a hug. She moved away in an instant, as if repulsed, and his smile dropped before he grinned at everyone, and drove off.

Zaidaan and Baba were gonna go with him to drop him, and the rest of us went inside, silence settling in.

Asma Baji had come back just hours ago, and in the sixth month of her pregnancy, she was huge.

I helped her sit on one of the chairs and she shot me a grateful smile, I looked up and adjusted the dupatta on my head as Tayajaan sat beside her.

Fariyal and Inaya stood across from me, on either side of my mother-in-law, who motioned to me,

"Kainaat, beta, please set the table for breakfast. I'm sure your Tayajaan and Asma must be hungry."

"Ji, ammi."

I walked back in the kitchen, Inaya on my toe, and once in the confines of the kitchen, we worked in perfect silence,until she said,

"Kainaat?"

"Hmm?"

"What's up with your cousin?"

A smile tugged on my lips as I decided to tease around a bit,

"Husna? She's fine, alhamdulillah!"

Inaya shifted her weight from one feet to another as she placed the garnished bowl of daal makhni on the counter beside me,

"No, I mean um, Sami?"

Her voice was barely above a whisper, and I actually had to step forward to hear her.

"Why?" Was my instant reply, which probably scared her away.

She flinched, "Don't you think he was being...a bit different yesterday?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, he sounded like he actually has found someone this time."

The frown on her face deepened, "This time? When was the last time?"

I turned to her with a serious face, "I don't know, love. Why don't you ask him?"

She rolled her eyes, "I-"

"Ask who?"

We turned to the source of voice as Fariyal walked in, a small smile on her face, and I grinned answering her,

"Inaya here is curious about the last time Sami was interested in someone."

A knowing smirk spread over Fariyal's face,

"Ahaan. I see."

Inaya's face turned a few shades darker and she looked down, allowing her hair to frame her face, before she cleared her throat and faced Fariyal,

"Aren't you supposed to be on your phone all day, now that Abaan isn't here?"

I leaned back and watched the show, as Fariyal rolled her eyes,

"I just talked to him, and we ain't that clingy."

It was clearly written over her face that everything she just said was a lie.

Inaya frowned, sensing something and instead turned to me raising her eyebrows,

"So?"

"So, Sami?"

Fariyal leaned against me,

"Ask him, Inaya. I'm sure he'll love it."

I giggled with Fariyal as we shoved Inaya who nudged us back and the three of us laughed.

The sound of footsteps seized our laughter as Zaidaan walked in, and I gave Fariyal a cautious glance and got back to my work.

Once side by side, I whispered to Fariyal,

"When are you leaving for home?"

She busied herself in kneading the dough,

"The day after, InshaAllah. I've asked ammi."

I nodded and kept quiet. This also meant that I had one day before me and Zaidaan had to talk.

"I'll come with you," I said without thinking, "I haven't met them after I came back from our honeymoon."

She spared me a glanced and passed the kneaded dough to Inaya, who went on to give it to Alviya,and then joined us back.

Zaidaan was still walking around the kitchen, as if on an inspection, as he asked Fariyal,

"So, Fariyal. Do you wish to continue your studies?"

Fariyal stopped midway and looked at him with a blank expression as Inaya piped in,

"Gosh, I never really asked, what were you studying, Fariyal?"

Smiling, she answered, "I'm in my final year of bachelors in mechanical engineering. I was gonna resume, but well, Abaan didn't allow."

Inaya's eyebrows furrowed, "Why would he...? You know what, nevermind. Now that he's not here, don't waste your time. I'm sure mamma wouldn't mind you studying."

Zaidaan nodded in agreement as I silently watched them,

"She doesn't. I asked for Kainaat, if you wish, I can do the same for you."

Taken aback by the new information, I whipped my head to the side nad met his gaze.

When did he talk to his mother about this?

"Oh, no. It's ok Zaidaan bhai, I'll ask ammi myself."

Zaidaan dropped his gaze and I looked away as Inaya said,

"Oooh, Kainaat, when do you begin?"

I frowned, "Probably with the next semester."

We fell silent after that and soon enough, once we had our breakfast, I helped Fariyal in packing her necessities and then made my way to our bedroom.

I found Zaidaan standing near our balcony, arms crossed.

I thought of walking back down but then thought against it.

Because try as I might, I knew I couldn't avoid him forever.

Besides, I did miss not having him close to me all the time.

I silently stood beside him, watching our garden until I heard him sigh,

"Now, can we talk?"

I remained silent and contemplated my options. I could either prolong this entire thing because I wanted to go to my parents with Fariyal, which meant we won't be with each other for a while. Or I could talk it out with him right now.

The urge to do the former was stronger than ever, but the distance between us was killing me.

Without facing him, in a voice barely above a whisper, I whispered,

"Okay."

***

I splashed water on my face one last time before exiting the washroom.

The room suddenly felt cold and I avoided looking at myself in the mirror.

Wrapping my scarf around my head, I spread out the jaanimaz and started my dhikr.

My hand subconciously rested on my stomach and I felt the tears resurface.

I was trapped, and there was nothing I could do.

Once done, I calmed myself down and took hold of my phone, calling the number I had by-hearted a long while ago.

He answered on the third ring, "What?"

My lips trembled, but I took hold of my emotions, "Have you boarded, Abaan?"

"No. I will soon, and don't think that baby will live. You better not get attached to it, I am coming back next month so we can abort."

I remained silent, and muttered a meek, "Ji."

I heard him sigh, "I only want the best for us. That kid wasn't supposed to happen."

And unknowingly, I snorted, as a tear fell down my cheek and onto my palm,

"Right. Should've thought about this before you lost control."

I couldn't see him, but I knew I'd triggered one of his angry nerves,

"You aren't blaming me for this Fariyal."

"We're not supposed to blame anyone for a new life, Abaan. You forced me."

"Shut it, you know you're talking rubbish. You said you loved me."

I closed my eyes shut, "Goodbye, Abaan."

He didn't reply and hung up on me, as I leaned against the edge of our bed and let my tears fall freely.

And despite all the strength I could mutter, I broke down, and the last thing on my mind before oblivion took over me was his name.

I did. I actually did love you, Abaan.

***

A shocked expression cascaded down his features and I sensed a hint of happiness surround him.

He took a step closer, "Okay."

I waited for him to begin, but when he didn't, I blurted the thing that was eating me up from the past two nights,

"Zaid, if ammi tells you to, I allow you to have a second marriage. And I understand if you want to leave me."

I saw him still, all the colour leaving his face.

A minute passed by and finally, I saw the anger resurface his features, as he pulled me to him by my arm,our faces inches apart,

"How could you even think that?"

I visibly gulped and tried freeing myself of his grip,but it only tightened around me.

He then held me by both my arms, squishing me in his arms and the glare he gave me was not just of anger, but also of betrayal,

"Why would you think that?"

I took in ragged breaths as I said,

"I-I...Z-Zaidaa-"

"NO, Kainaat! When I said we should talk, I wanted to tell you that this doesn't affect me. That this isn't a problem to die for. That this isn't a problem at all. That infertility isn't a desease. That it isn't a disability, that it doesn't make you weak. I wanted you to know that instead, that news made me love you more. For everything you are. It raised your importance in my life and Kainaat, meri jaan, you are the strongest person I know.

I wanted to tell you that this is a test for us from Allah. That I wasn't gonna abandon you. That I love you and I always, always will love you."

His grip on me loosened and I suddenly lost my balance, and stumbled back in his arms.

He held me, while tears soaked my face and I buried my head in the crook of his neck, pulling him as close as I can and burying my fingers in his hair,

"You don't know," I whispered, "you don't know how much, how much, I missed having you this close. How much I hated the gaps between us."

I felt him shift,so that I was now entirely leaning on him. He said nothing,instead tightening his grip around me.

I sighed against the skin of his neck,

"What about children?"

His chuckle vibrated against my body,

"Ever heard of this brilliant invention called adoption?"

I felt my muscles relax against him,

"It's still not the same."

"It is," was his instant reply, "as long as you are with me."

I crumpled his shirt in my fist and lifted my head, an embarrassing blush coating my cheeks when I realised how rough I'd been in the past minute.

My heart beat faster as his hand circled around my waist and another tilted my head, burying itself at the back of my neck.

I tried untangling my hair from the mess of his hair, but once I realised that it'll take me long, I reluctantly closed the gap between us, not caring how uncomfortably we were standing.

He seemed equally surprised yet needy as me, and I didn't stop him until we had to part to take a breath.

He leaned his forehead against mine,and I burst out in tears.

He wiped them and worriedly cupped my face in his hands,

"Hey, hey, hey. What happened?"

I shook my head, crying harder until I had no tears left,

"I love you. I love you and I-I love you."

I buried my head against his shirt and he held me until my sobs ceased into short breaths, and once I'd calmed down, I heard him whisper,

"I love you too."

I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of his breath and our heartbeats in sync.

I'd probably never felt this peaceful in my entire life.

And maybe, for now, a small belief ignited in me that come what may, he was one of the very less things in my life that was going to last for a long, long while, InShaAllah.

****

, my book 'Love At Last Sight.' is now COMPLETEEEDDDDDD AAAAAAH ALHAMDULILLLAAAAH!

Right and I'm so so extremely dearly very really sorry for this extra late update buuuut I'll try to be more fast now InShaAllah.

Remember in duaas, take care, stay safe, stay home, stay blessed, stay awesomee!

Allah hafiz!