K A I N A A T

"Kainaat!"

I didn't get a chance to register as Husna pounced on me in a bear hug. I hugged her back just as tightly, peeking a look at Zaidaan's amused expression from her shoulder.

Her light, jasmine scent made me remember all the times we'd spent like this and unknowingly, a tear trailed down my cheek,

"Husna." I could only whisper.

I wasn't the only one, thankfully, as Husna too seemed on the verge of tears.

As we broke the hug, she turned to Zaidaan with a bright smile and a teasing glint in her eyes, asked,

"So. Honeymoon, huh?"

I fought a blush as Zaidaan laughed,

"Well, I couldn't resist."

Husna gasped at his bluntness and turned to me,

"Haye dekho toh. Mohabbat ka rang chada hai aapke gaal pe?"

I rolled my eyes at her,

"Nahi, garmi ka."

"It's January."

"Let's just go, Husna." With that, I dragged her inside before Zaidaan could burst out laughing.

As soon as I entered, a girl who bareky reached my knees hugged my legs and buried her face in my abaya as I bent down and picked her up.

She then buried her face in the crook of my neck,

"Sahifa? Baby, look at phuppojaan."

She shook her head, refusing to meet my eyes.

Forcefully, I made her face me and my heart broke to extents at what I saw. My beloved neice was crying,

"Sahu, what-"

"I missed you, phuppo! Why didn't you come back? Where did Zaidaan uncle take you?"

"Aww, phuppo ki jaan, it's alright. Now phuppo is here, and look, she got you chocolate."

At that, her face brightened up and she lowered her voice a notch,

"Don't tell mamma, she won't let me eat it all."

I laughed at her cheekiness and went ahead as she babbled on, telling me about her school and friends.

I entered the living room and my entire family stood up to greet me.

Dadijaan kissed my forehead and gave me all the duaas, my mom almost started sobbing but then she saw Zaidaan and started feeding him with every edible thing she could find, while my Baba kissed my forehead and Khalifa hugged me for a while longer than other and that's when I realised how much I had missed all of this.

If only Fariyal was here.

I shook my head at the thought. I'd tried talking to her for the past two days but never had the chance to just ask her how she is. But there was something different about her, she smiled more, smiling was something Fariyal rarely did, she left her hair open more often, she used to always either braid or have a highbun all the time, she had a glowing tinge to herself, something in her eyes was shining, she was glowing as she never had.

She was happy. She was happy the way I was when I'd first started liking Abaan.

She was in love with Abaan the way I was.

And I was certain of that much.

And I prayed she stayed like that for the rest of their lives, even if I was never a part of the picture.

We all sat in the living room, talking, laughing at silly jokes and in that moment, despite the chaos in my soul, my heart was satisfied.

***

"So where are you going?"

"I don't know, Husna."

Husna pouted at me from where she lay her head on my lap as I caressed her hair, Sahifa leaning on my side as Saher Bhabi sat at the edge of my bed.

It felt a bit too good to be back in my room.

"You know," Husna started, "Tayiammi gave Bhabi a task."

She had a mischeivous smile on her face and I glanced at Bhabi, who shook her head,

"Why, Husna. You look more excited."

Husna laughed as she sat up straight, "I'm not excited. I just can't wait to see her go red."

Bhabi narrowed her eyes, "And, say,who told you, you would be seeing her go red?"

I looked back and forth between them, completely clueless,

"Guys, what is-"

"But Bhabi! I wanna listen!"

"Well Husna, get married then!"

Husna piuted, "Rude."

Bhabi laughed, "Sahifa, go show your Husna Phuppo your homework. She shall help you."

Sahifa clinged to me, but when I urged her to go on, she quietly took Husna's hand and they headed out, Husna murmuring her displeasure at how things turned out to be.

I raised my eyebrows, "Pray tell what that was about?"

She grinned at me, "Your honeymoon, ofcourse!"

I narrowed my eyes, "What about it?"

Saher Bhabi shrugged, "The talk."

While at first I didn't get it,when it registered in my jead, I actually felt myself go red.

"Bhabi, no."

"What nonsense! How will you get children, otherwise?"

"Yaar, Bhabi-"

"I'll tell you beforehand, it will be very painful, don't expect it to be what you read in books-"

"I NEVER READ SUCH BOOKS"

"And please, please, please, be patient."

I sighed, knowing nothing I say will affect her, and let her go on as she went into the details and gave me tips-which, by the way, she got to know after her first time with my very own brother, cue my nausea- and finally, finally after forty whole long minutes, ended her speech.

"Are we done, bhabi?"

"Not so soon."

I groaned and buried my head in the pillow,

"Bhabi!"

"It's not that."

At that, I looked at her with a quizzical expression,

"What?"

She dipped her head, a shy smile on her face as she leaned in closer,

"Don't you dare tell this to anyone, but I think I'm pregnant."

And I did the complete opposite, I screamed. A high-pitched, real scream.

She quickly covered my mouth with her hand and I threw myself at her,

"OMGTHISISAMAZING!"

"Kainaat, g-get off me!"

I pulled myself together,

"Am I the first to know this?"

She nodded and I clapped my hands like a kid,

"Ohmygod!"

"Kainaat!" She laughed as she took my hands in hers,

"There's something I want you to do."

I nodded as she continued,

"I want you to name the baby."

My eyes widened and I nearly toppled over on my bed,

"What?"

"You heard that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Serious?"

"A hundred percent."

I tackled her in a bear hug again,

"I'm SO happy, Bhabi, I love you!"

She laughed and pushed me away, getting up and going out,

"I ahve to get the dinner ready, I'll send Husna and Sahifa up, enjoy your time alone."

With that, she moved out of my vision, leaving happiness to surround my essence.

***

"Zaidaan, beta, please do stay for a a day. You guys can go back the day after."

My mom glanced lovingly at Zaidaan as she said that and I knew that she held him in high regard.

With a glance my way, he smiled at my mom,

"Zaroor."

That one word had my mother so happy that she re-filled his plate with food for the nth time and he didn't even object.

I rolled my eyes, he was liking this treatment.

After dinner, we all sat in the living room, with me playing with Husna's hand and Sahifa on my lap.

Khalifa Bhaiya glanced at us, "I'm sorry Zaidaan, but you have to bear with my daughter and sister stealing your wife everytime you get here."

I glared at him as Zaidaan smirked,

"It's okay, Bhaiya. It won't be long before I steal Sahifa and become her favorite."

Sahifa, who was previously quiet, looked up and stuck her tongue out at Zaidaan,

"I don't like you!"

Zaidaan gave her an amused glance,

"And why not?"

"You took my phuppo away." She pouted, and he laughed at her innocence.

He didn't say anything after that, but with the love taht he glanced at Sahifa with made me say,

"Sahifa jaan, aise nahi kehte. Uncle loves you as much as phuppo."

She gave me a disapproving glance, probably feeling betrayed while she only took my side, but nonetheless, with an apologetic smile, showed Zaidaan a thumbs-up, and went back to playing with the rings on my fingers

Zaidaan gave me a smile, a rare one, a type of smile that I had never seen, and I smiled back at him, the two of us having a moment of gratitude.

I didn't miss the way my parents exchanged surprised glances while Bhaiya looked proud and Dadi gave an approving look our way, or how Saher bhabi and Husna scoffed at my sides, embarrasing me, again.

I threw a warning glance at Husna and then whispered,

"Let's go to your room, I have a lot to tell you."

***

And I told Husna. I told her everything that happened, Abaan's behaviour, Zaidaan's antics, Fariyal's changes and everything that I could remember.

I had no idea talking to her would lift off such a burden from my shoulders. I felt physically light.

"Abaan's a freak."

"Husna."

"I hate him, dude. Like shiddat se. Who the heck does he think he is? How dare he. Just wait, Kainaat, I will ruin hi-"

"Husna! Fariyal Di loves him!"

That shut he rup and she resorted to muttering under her breath, anger in her eyes.

A while later, I heard her say,

"Zaidaan is nice. I'm glad you married him."

I snorted, "Like I had a choice."

Husna rolled her eyes, "Well, Alhamdulillah you didn't. I really can't picture you with Abaan anymore because, dude, Zaidaan looks freaking amazing with you."

"Seriously, Husna-"

"Have you seen the way he looks at you? It's as if you are the Queen and you rule the world or something."

"Okay, sto-"

"OH MY ALLAH, wait wait wait, I just got a line, he looks at you like you are the Queen, like you rule the world. The world may think he's smitten, but actually, His Queen does rule his world. Oh god, Thank you SO much! I got my next line."

I rolled my eyes, "The world may think he's smitten? Really?"

"Well, it's better than using the word whipped."

I shoved her aside, "So how is that book going, miss author?"

"Naw, I don't know what to do ahead. I'm losing track of the plot."

I shook my head at her, "Well make it fast, I'm waiting."

"Hukum, zama janaan."

I smiled at her use of pashto, she rarely used pashto, unless she was actually happy with something.

Husna's maternal grandmother, her Nani, was a pakhtun woman from Afghanistan, hence the origin of Husna's ever so different grey-green central heterochromatic eyes.

Husna was precious to me, and everyone knew it as much as she did.

I always told her everything and she was always there to comfort me with her words, she was spectacular with words and excelled at communication skills, making her more confident than me or Fariyal.

But this time, I somehow couldn't tell her that there was something different in me. That my heart no longer beat faster when Abaan was around, or that his words no longer affected me.

I couldn't tell her that I was falling apart yet coming back together all at once, that my heart was breaking yet yeilding with the warmth of someone's arms around me every night.

I couldn't tell her that I was finally accepting things and moving on.

I couldn't tell her that Zaidaan was not just ordinary anymore, that he was soemthing more in my mind but my heart was having trouble accepting that and my soul had trouble untangling its shreds from the mess of what happened the last time.

I couldn't tell her because I wasn't sure myself but I for once, knew that this was the beginning of something real, with the way my heart and soul didn't flinch away at the sound of approaching love.

***

"So, this is your room?"

I fidgeted around, arranging my books on the shelf as I let out a nervous laugh,

"Well, yeah."

He looked around, taking in my personal space. Now I actually felt how weird it must have been for him to share his room with me, how personal it must have felt.

And here I was, allowing him to take in his surroundings.

He slowly, carefully sat at the edge of my bed and looked down, smiling,

"I like this."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and smiled at him as he asked,

"Won't you ask where we are going for our honeymoon?"

I made my way to the bed and sat on the other side, extending my legs so that they were beside him while I faced his back,

"Husna made me swear I won't ask so that 'it's a surprise' for me when I get there."

He looked at me and turned halfway, tilting his head to the side as his hair fell on his forehead and my fingers suddenly itched to push them back,

"Well, that's good."

I made a face at him, "You both suck."

He chuckled at my childish behaviour and pulled himself up beside me, leaning his head against the headboard the same way as me and facing me,

"Wherever we go, I'll make sure you love it."

He laced our fingers as he said that, eyes on our entertwined hands.

I followed his gaze and fell silent at how perfct my hand blended in his,how perfectly fit and comfortable our palms and fingers seemed with each other.

I looked up as I he broke the silence,

"I only want one thing from you, Kainaat."

"What is it?"

"Your happiness. I want you to be happy. Tell me if something upsets you, or if you think I am going too fast with us. Tell me what makes you happy."

You. Instead, I said,

"I will, Zaid. And I want something from you too."

I felt him nod at me to continue.

Eyes still downcast, I edged towards him until my head rested on his arm, our entertwined hands on my lap,

"Will you give me an us?"

I felt my heart beat fasten as his breath hitched in his throat and his grip on my hand tightened.

After two long, agonizing minutes, he finally said,

"I'd give my life for an us."

I smiled as I felt his lips linger on my head abd closed my eyes, snuggling closer, the smile etched on my face until sleep engulfed me.

***

"When did you come?"

"Exactly an hour back, when you went in to shower."

And despite myself, I asked, "Why?"

Fariyal's smile faltered a bit but she held herself together,

"To help Saher Bhabi and Husna pack your bags, of course!"

I narrowed my eyes at the trio sitting on my bed,

"Really? Are you guys done then?"

"Yep."

All three of them answered in unison.

I raised my eyebrows,

"Well then, let me see."

Husna was the first to launch on me,

"NO WAY!"

I pushed her aside, laughing as I hurriedly unzipped the bag, while my other hand worked on keeping Husna as far away from me as possible.

Succesfully grinning, I shoved her aside with one push and flipped open the bag.

And to my utter surprise, found normal clothes.

Husna sighed, and plopped down on the side,

"Thank Allah." I heard her mutter.

I glanced at all of them, doubting their innocence as Fariyal fluttered her eyes and Bhabi gave a sheepish smile.

At once, I knew something was wrong.

Before they can stop me, I pushed aside the layer of normal, casual clothes and my jaw dropped open.

Because beneath that, lay the most shortest, revealing pieces of lace and lingerie and night gowns, one piece, two piece, three piece, everything arranged according to their colors and each one with a matching bra and panty.

"W-who in the world bought all of this?"

I knew my cheeks were red without anyone having to point it out as my mouth was hung open.

I ran a hand through the soft, velvet and satin pieces of barely covering clothing and covered my face with my hand.

"Husna."

"Fariyal."

"Saher Bhabi."

They took each other's name, and I knew they had planne dthis beforehand.

"And do enlighten me," I said, "what will I wear in the day?"

They pointed behind me, and that's when I noticed a larger black travel bag at the corner of my room.

"You can keep yours and Zaidaan Bhai's clothes in that." Fariyal said and I narrowed my eyes at her,

"And what will I say when he asks me about this bag?"

This time, Husna answered me, "Tell him it's a surprise for him."

I stretched both my hands to whack her upside her head,

"Piss off."

Saher bhabi shook her head and placed a comforting hand on my arm,

"You can tell him it's your makeup and toiletries, this bag isn't so big, it can pass for a hand-carry. And not all of this is filled with, um, stuff, it does have your bracelets and rings and makeup at the end, look."

With that,she pushed aside a lump of strings and clothes to reveal the things I owned as I sighed looking at my hairbrusbes and everything I owned.

I nodded at her, but then shot them all a glare and was just about to zip it back up when Husna tumbled closer to me,

"Will I see my nephews anytime soon?"

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and I rolled my eyes, saying,

"Husna, please. You know I-I-"

Husna frowned, "Don't let this kill you Kainaat. It's not confirmed. They still had hope. How can you lose hope when it's not even sure?"

Before I could answer, there was a knock on the door,

"Kainaat?"

Zaidaan's voice rang out and I zipped up the bag and took in a deep breath as Husna held my hand,giving it a hopeful,reassuring squeeze which said that if she hasn't given up, I shouldn't give up too.

They left the room after that, and I placed the bags at one corner of the room while Zaidaan walked in, asking me if I was ready to leave.

***

The next morning, we left for the airport.

As we reached there, I noticed the security following us and Zaidaan demanding his way in.

Before I could ask him, he handed our luggage to a helper and took my hand in his placing a light kiss on my knuckles that made me go crazy, as he lead me in the opposite direction of the Check-in posts.

"Zaidaan, where are we going?"

He spared me a glance,

"You'll see."

And in half an hour, I saw.

And I did not expect that.

Because standing infront of me was a private jet, with the words Farooq Inc. printed with bold letters on both its sides as my mouth hung open.

Zaidaan owned a freaking private jet.

Not wanting to make a fool of myself, I let him lead the way inside, awaiting my fate as to what he would do in these...I don't even know how many days.

*****