Z A I D A A N

"Perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before."

"You really should stop watching those disney movies."

Inaya giggled and and crawled halfway to me, her mid-thigh teeshirt clinging to her as a malicious smile covered her cheeks and she gazed at me with a bizzare look,

"Tell me Zaidaan, when did you start saying that you can't fall asleep without someone."

My eyes flashed at her, "What the heck?"

Inaya burst out laughing, her frail neck bending back as her eyes crinkled on their sides and I just stared at her trying to control her hysteria,

"Who even told you?"

She waved her hand about, "Who else? Abaan! That guy is bribed so easily."

I narrowed my eyes at her, but said nothing.

Her cheshire eyes were still on me, though, as if trying to unveil a mystery.

She had a small, unknown smile on her face as I pushed her legs off of the sofa,

"When do you plan on getting on with your masters? Or should I get you married?"

She pouted at me, "Do you really dislike having me around that much?"

"Well, here we go. So you know."

She threw a pillow at me and I chuckled, ducking and saving myself.

Inaya and me were close, and anyone coukd say that at one glance. While I had a soft spot for all my family memebers, no one came above Inaya. Maybe it had something to do with her being just eight months younger than me, or maybe with the fact that I'd always just felt more protective of her than I did for Abaan. Whtever the case, she knew me more than mom ever did.

Abaan and me were close, too. Though at times Inaya told me that it was only me who thought that, because according to her, Abaan just used me to get his ways. It wasn't something unusual, though, seeing as Abaan and Inaya loathed each other as kids. Of course, growing up they had a liking towards each other, a sibling bond different than mine and her, something a bit more rough and rash.

Abaan was a mamma's boy, always had been. She said that she love dus all the same, but it was undistinguishable fact that she had a special place for Abaan, her 'baby boy'.

Inaya, on the other hand, was Baba's pride, having done every grade in her life perfectly and topped every exam she ever wrote. She was the smartest of all three of us, and she used her tactics well.

Unlike many, Inaya was smart and mature, knowing well enough how and where to use her skills. She aced at everything she did, and as her name said, exaltedly blessed in everything she ever bought with herself. A blessing to our home, was what she was known.

I balanced between the love of both and I think I deserved an award for not demanding attention to mysekf yet being a third parent to these both. Ofcourse, when Asma Baji lived with us, things were a bit different, I used to get attention because she use dto draw that attention while I messed with her.

"How and why did Abaan tell you?"

I asked her instead, and she shrugged, "I told him I'll tell Fariyal about his badboy phase, and he agreed. Simple."

My eyes widened, his badboy phase was not just a phase, it was more than that. And I was probably the only one who knew the depth of his 'phase'.

"But what made you ask him?

At this, Inaya's freepily huge smile was back and I nearly fell when sge gave light, high pitched squeel,

"It's YOU!"

I scrunched my eyebrows at her,

"What?"

"You! Zaidaaaaaan! You are so cute ohmygod it's SO obvious!"

"What?"

"Have you looked at the way you look at her?"

"What?!"

With every passing second, I was getting more clueless. She rolled her eyes at my smart reply,

"You look at her with such an expression, it's almost dreamy, like you can't believe she's actually alive in front of you."

Well, that I actually can't.

I scoffed at her words, "Yeah, well. It's surprising how she had survived so long, seeing how naive she is."

She punched my arm, "Sure, sure. It's probably the same reason you're head over heels for her."

"Inaya, I am not in love with her."

She grinned at me, "I never said you were in love with her, I said head over heels."

"Is that not the same damn thing?"

She shook her head, dramatically, as if she was extremely disappointed in me, "You have a long way to understand things, brother. I fear it's someone naive who'll make you understand what I meant."

I gritted my teeth but said nothing and let her analyze my every move, her keen eyes observing my every breath.

Having enough, I stood up, grumbling under my breath as I made my way out, my sister's chuckles echoing behind me.

***

She looked better than the day before, her fever going down and the flush of health appearing back on her cheeks, radiating the glow that belonged to her

Kainaat was staring at something on her phone when I walked in, eyebrows furrowed, as if the weight of this world rested on her forehead.

My fingers itched to ease the creases along her eyebrows, but I held my hand back, clearing my throat to gain her attention.

Her head snapped up and she placed a hand on her chest, drawing in a breath,

"You scared me."

You scare me too.

"I'm sorry." I said.

She raised her eyebrows at my dry, easy apology, her lips twisting in what I could only say as a smirk, before settling back in a thin line again.

Curiosity struck my head and I leaned against my bed frame, peeking in her phone,

"What is it, that has you so worried?"

She quickly threw her phone to the side and shook her head,

"Nothing."

It was my turn to smirk,

"Why, looks like someone is hiding something."

With that, I leaned ahead to snatch her phone and did so succesfully, to which she shot up on her feet, stretching to reach my uplifted hand and failing miserably,

"You're tiny." I chuckled.

"Shut up, Zaidaan! Give me back my phone!"

I raised my eyebrows, "Where is the respect in your voice, darling?"

She gritted her teeth and slumped back on her feet,

"Mera phone wapas kijiye, Zaidaan."

"Hmm, itni jaldi nahi."

At that, she pounced on me again. Well, tried to,

"Give it back!"

But instead, her leg tangled with mine and she lost her balance, falling on me and inturn, making my back and head hit the hard tiled floor of our room, with her entire weight on top of me.

I blew out air from my circled mouth and shut my eyes close, I would probably never admit it, but this fall actually hurt.

I suspected a fracture on my vertebral column or something with the pain that hurled my neck. But obviously, that wasn't the case, anyway.

To make matters worse, Kainaat struggled to get off of me, failing miserably as her arms flailed around me.

Sighing, I peeked open my eyes to see her panic-stricken face, not meeting my eyes.

I held her palms, which were pressed against my chest, trying to push her off me but instead making me her ground for a few push ups.

Motioning with my hand for her to wait, I wrapped an arm around her waist, helping us both up.

She didn't say anything when I didn't move away from her, her face too pink to look normal.

I was clearly enjoying this, and I guess she knew that.

She pulled her hands away from mine but I held on to her waist, and I think I heard her mutter a dua under her breath.

Finally, finally, looking at me, she said with a such a serious and fierce expression that had it not been my desire for her to stay like this in my arms, I would've burst out laughing,

"My phone."

I bit my lip and shifted my weight,

"Tell me what were you doing, first."

Her nostrils flared, "Why? Do you think that just because I let you sleep beside me, you can invade my privacy?"

I knew I was riling her up, and God, yes, her words did sting a bit but her outburst was entertaining me,

"Privacy? Scared that your lover might get caught?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew this game was over and I had done a big mistake.

Her eyes darkened and her expression changed to one of a storm as she whispered dangerously low,

"How dare you."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. With all the strength she had, she snatched the phone out of my hand with a harshness that was not her and pushed me away,

"How dare you, Zaidaan."

"Kainaat, I-"

"Save it. You've crossed the line here."

With that, she stormed out, her phone clutched in her hands like a diamond fresh out of earth, something so precious that my joke seemed like an accusation.

Well, leave it to you to say that while she married you instead of your brother.

And a pang of guilt hit me, so strong that if it was force, it could knock me over for a few days.

I had a feeling she wouldn't come back for a long time, and the thought left a nasty taste in my mouth, with a sinking feeling in my heart.

What had I done?

***

"Yes, Baba?"

I called out as I entered my dad's crisp white study.

He smiled at me from his desk, motioning for me to have a seat.

Baba never realky called me in his study, unless it was serious.

"How are you, my son?"

"Alhamdulillah, aap kaise hai, Baba?"

"Allah ka shukr, beta. I need to talk to you about something."

I nodded, "I figured. Is it bad?"

My father laughed, "No, not at all."

I smiled at him, "Tell me, Baba."

My father smiled at me knowingly, "How are you doing, son?"

I knew at once that his tone didn't mean how I was doing, but rather how we were doing.

"Alhamdulillah." I answered after a short pause.

"How are you and Kainaat?"

I gave him a vague smile, "We are doing good, Baba." I bit my tongue and saved my life as I was just about to as him how he and mamma were.

What the heck is wrong with you, Zaidaan.

My stared at me for a few minutes, and I suddenly felt like I was back in fourth grade, and he was about to scold me for ruining Asma Baji's new uniform and also failing maths.

I fidgeted in my seat, "Baba, is something wrong?"

My father shook his head, "My Zaidaan, my pride, I hope you know where this conversation is going."

I let out a breath, "It's about her, isn't it?"

"That 'her' is your wife, Zaidaan. And I believe you have well acquinted her with that title in your life."

"Baba-"

He held up his hand, "You're here to listen. That girl, Kainaat, is just a woman. A woman is fragile, Zaidaan. And fragile does not mean weak. She has her own grounds, her own rules, but I have seen something way beyond a twenty year old woman has, a maturity that even Inaya can't match, something that isn't normally seen in most people, that is in her. She has gone through something, it may not be big to you, but it is to her. In her world, a forever doesn't exist."

I listened to him as he went on, "I understand how you wed her wasn't the most suitable of conditions. You may not have had such an image in your head for a wife. But what you did for your Tayajaan, is something so outstanding that I don't even know how to believe that I have raised such a respectful young man. But Zaidaan, she is your wife. Your present and your future. And yes, I have seen you putting in an effort but she isn't so easy, is she?"

I chuckled at that, "I guess so."

"Then try harder my son. Be kind. Be loving. But don't hide yourself from her. Love is not enough, and I hope you know that. Love is never enough. She can't fall in love with you right away, maybe you can with her-"

"What? Baba-no!"

"...but she cannot. Give her space, give her time. Go step by step. Know her. Let her know you. It's not all that easy."

I nodded along to whatever he kept saying from that point on,

"I had this talk, longer talk, with Abaan too. I trust you with a woman, with Kainaat, but Abaan? I don't know. Your mother thinks otherwise though. Although I hope she doesn't go out of her way with Kainaat. I want you to take care of that, too."

"I know, I'll make sure of it."

"And lastly, you work too much for a newly wed. You will be taking some time off and spend a few days with your wife, and away from here, away from Abaan, so that she's a bit free and a bit more comfortable around you. I want you to take her somewhere else, for a few days, if possible a month. What do you youngsters call it these days? Honeymoon?"

I nodded along to this too, "Yeah, you're right, B-" until his words registered in my head, "Baba! What?! No!"

"It was an order."

"But you can't-"

"I can. And I have. Your tickets to Switzerland have been scheduled for two days from now, enjoy your trip."

"Baba."

My Baba just shrugged, a ghost of a smile tugging, begging to break free, on his lips as his eyes twinkled with amusement.

That look just meant one thing,

I had no way out of this.

***

"Kainaat."

She ignored my call and with less than a glance my way, continued folding her clothes and placing them in the wardrobe.

I still hadn't told her about dad's plan and while I was trying, she seemed too pissed at me to cut me some slack.

"Kainaat, darling?"

Though she didn't turn, the change in her posture told me she had stoped her work for a second.

But to my dismay, went back to it the next second.

She left me no choice, and so I went and stood diagonally from her,

"Itna gussa?"

I was replied back with a very livid glare as she threw her clothes in frustration and walked away but at the last moment, I held her wrist abd rooted her to the spot,

"Tumko aata hai pyar par gussa, mujhko gusse pe pyaar aata hai."

She heaved a breath, "Aapko iss tarah humpe ilzaam lagakar Ameer Minai ke alfaaz istemaal karne ka koi haq nahi."

She pulled her hand away from mine and walked back in the room, turning the lights off and pulling the duvet over her,

"Sleep on the couch, Zaidaan."

And that's when I realized how much my words had hurt her.

I quietly made my way to her side and turned the bedside lamp on,

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

She spared me glance and sat up, sighing,

"It's okay, but you need to understand that what you said hurt me."

"And I want you to know that everytime my words hurt you, I want you to come tell me that they did, abd why they did."

She shook her head, "You don't understand, Zaid. It's difficult. I married you, instead of Abaan. And I'm your wife. Yet you accuse me of a lover? You know exactly who my lover was. Do you know how that made me feel?"

I let her ramble on,

"Yes. And I'm sorry."

She nodded,

"Good. Goodnight, then."

I chuckled, "Can I please have some space on this bed, your majesty?"

She let out a laugh, "Okay."

"Oh, and..."

I took her hands in mine,

"Yes?"

"Baba wants us to go on a honeymoon."

She loosened her grip around my palms, flushing red, eyes wide,

"I-I.."

"It's okay if you don't wnat to, I underst-"

"I want to visit my parents before we leave."

That made me stop. She had no objection. Was this really happening?

I smiled at her,

"Be ready tomorrow morning, darling."

And when she gave me real, full blown smile, the happiness in her eyes evident, something in my heart ignited.

Perhaps Inaya was right.

There's something there that wasn't there before