Omgomgomg, I like this chapter so much lol!

Z A I D A A N

"Kainaat?"

"Ji?"

I sighed, "Do not ponder on my mom's words if ever she critisizes you, or anything you do. But if she disapproves, comply to her wishes. Come to me if something troubles you, even if it is my mother's words. She's kind and she loves you, but she is also a mother and you must understand."

She turned to me on her couch, facing me with a weird expression,

"She never said anything to me."

I smiled at her, "If ever she does, remember this. Alright?"

"Okay."

I was certain she probably felt like a kid when I talked to her like this.

Turning on my side, I waited for sleep to engulf me, but it never came.

I couldn't and sleep and there was only one issue on my mind.

Mom and Kainaat.

This evening as I returned home with a few necessities Kainaat had wanted but she was too shy to ask anyone to get it for her, I accidentally overheard a small bit of my parents conversation,

"Farooq sahab," my mom was saying, "I don't think we should have agreed to get our Zaidaan married so soon."

"Rubina, we will not have this conversation again."

"But listen! Abaan wanted to marry a girl, Khan sahab's daughter, but we had chosen the wrong daughter for our son but according to us, she was the right one. Look where it has got us. I do not think Zaidaan can survive this marriage. And Kainaat? She's so young. She could be naive. How will Zaidaan comply?"

Dad had, with a fiercely determined expression, replied, "We chose Fariyal because we thought she was right for Abaan. If we thought so, then we might as well be right. If it wasn't meant to be, they wouldn't have gotten married. Qadr Allah, Rubina. As for Zaidaan," he'd visibly squared his shoulders in pride, "he is the pride of our family. If he has agreed to this, he will comply. He is a man. If anything you should be worried about Abaan, he is a boy. He is naive. And Kainaat can very well handle this, she is a woman, she was born with strength and patience greater than us. Besides, the sisters do have each other in the same house. Qadr Allah, don't fret."

While it made me happy that my dad had such immense trust and pride in me, something about mom's next statement filled me with dread,

"While you are right, I don't know why I feel like Kainaat is not good for Zaidaan."

"Rubina."

"There must have been a reason why Khan Sahab did not want Kainaat to marry, it was only luck we liked Fariyal more."

"You will not let assumptions cloud your mind on a girl who is now the bahu of this home. She has as much right over everything here as you and Fariyal."

My mom didn't say anything, but with the way she pursed her lips, I knew it well enough that this was not over.

And I didn't want it to start.

I was worried since then, but I never got the chance to talk to my mom on this topic.

I was worried for Kianaat.

And I had to wait a few moments to let that sink in.

I was worried for my wife.

Glancing at her, I noticed she was fast asleep. She looked so peaceful that I couldn't stop staring at her.

I glanced at my bedside to see that it was way past midnight.

Getting up, I quietly made my way downstairs, ready to go to my peace place.

Pushing open the door, I switched on the lights and a smile graced my lips.

I removed my shirt and hung it on the door. I made my way and squatted down on the floor, placing the essentials around me and a new blank canvas in the middle.

I let my mind wander and my hands work their wonder. I wouldn't call myself an artist, but art was my first love. I've painted everything I ever loved, be it literally or in a form that resembled them.

And I usually didn't control my hands and imagination from choosing the colours. I loved colours. They were positivity.

But that night, the only colours I painted with were black and white.

My mind had gone old age, like old age vintage romance, so aesthetically black and white that it scared me.

That night I imagined everything in dark shades, everything black and white, everything that wasn't me.

That night I painted with my heart and not my brain, I didn't care who saw it or what they thought because after a long time, I painted for myself. I painted to sheild this painting away from the world.

I painted black and white because it was simple, it was exotic, it was classic and it was a beauty.

I painted because it held a secret I didn't know I was keeping and it astaunded me how I didn't know I was gone so soon, slowly, but surely.

I painted because I was suddenly in love with everything plain and simple and everything that wasn't of this age.

I painted black and white.

I painted for Kainaat.

****

Three hours later, my eyes were drooping and I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes.

The next second I sat up, alarmed, as I heard footsteps approaching the door.

Who was up at this time?

My art gallery, as I liked calling it, was the farthest room in our home, abd while everyone thinks it's a store room, little do people know that behind the curtain is my haven.

I switched off the light, so that no one comes in and sees me here, I didn't really like showing all my paintings to everyone. Mom was convinced I stopped painting a few years back.

But when I heard the door squeek and the voice that called out for me, I couldn't resist answering back to her call, it came in a reflex,

"Zaidaan?"

"Yes, Kainaat?"

So much to hide.

"You're here?"

I pushed the curtain a centimetre aside and peeked outside.

Kainaat stood there, a shawl around her slender shoulders, her eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly parted as she took in a shaky breath.

The moonlight fell directly on her, the dimlit room complimenting her position, and in that moment, she looked so fragile and I was scared that the winds might hurt her.

Immedietly, I was on gaurd, getting out of my small tent, I made my way to her,

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, but her sleep deprived puffy eyes and shaky lips said otherwise.

She shook her head again and sniffed and then lowered her gaze,I think she muttered an astaghfirullah too, the blush on her cheek evident as she looked away and wrapped her arms around herself and massaged her arms.

That's when I realized I was shirtless.

Clicking my toungue, I rubbed the back of my head and looked around for my shirt and goddammit it was NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.

Sighing, I turned back to her slightly shaken form,

"What happened, Kainaat?"

She shook her head again and wiped her hand over her face.

Was that a tear?

"Kainaat."

I grabbed her arms and turned her to face me. She flinched. I loosened my grip.

"Look at me, Kainaat."

When all she did was lower her face deeper, I placed my index finger below her chin and lifted her face up.

I wiped her lone tear with my fingers as I cupped her face and stepped closer,

"Why are you crying?"

"I-I had a-a nightmare."

"Oh."

I had absolutely no idea what to do.

I licked my lips,

"O-okay darling, listen-"

"Darling?"

She peaked a look at me and I could feel the heat all over my face and neck and when I looked at her, I saw the blush on her cheeks deepening.

Control, Zaidaan!

I shook my head absentmindedly,

"Kainaat, listen-"

"I was scared, I don't remember what it was but I woke up panting and it was bad and I-I-I..."

"You what?" I searched her eyes.

"I woke up saying your name and you weren't in your and I searched everywhere but you weren't there and I've been searching for half an hour, where the heck were you?!"

This was the longest sentence she had ever spoken to me.

As much as I felt bad about her panicked state, I couldn't help the tiny smile the automatically graced my lips as I pushed her hair back from her face, still cupping her face in my hands.

She woke up saying my name.

"Do you want to go back and sleep?"

She gulped, "Can you wear your shirt?"

I smirked and stepped closer, lowering my face to a dangerous level, our foreheds almost touching,

"Why? You don't like it?"

She let out a shaky breath, "I'm tired."

I chuckled, "Come here."

And to both our surprise, I bent down and lifted her up bridal style as she gasped and her shawl fell on one side, revealing her net sleeves and showcasing her milky skin.

"WHAT ARE-"

"SHHH! Don't wake up the entire house, lets go to our room."

She was quite after that and I locked my eyes with hers and this time, she didn't look away.

There was something about the darkness that illuminated her more, something that brightened her up.

I was right, she was black and white.

A Classic beauty

My paint stained hands probably had already tainted her white nightdress black.

I gently laid her on the bed,

"You won't sleep on the couch anymore."

With that, I took my pillow and was about to go to the couch but she held my hand, I glanced at her,

"What is it?"

She looked at me from under her eyelashes, she didn't look like herself. It must've been a really dreadful nightmare because the next thing she said sent chills down my spine,

"Don't go away from me."

I stared at her for a while and she lay there still, her hand still clutching mine.

"Okay." I finally said. I couldn't say anymore than that.

I placed my pillow back beside hers and was about to get in place when I remembered the paint on my hand,

"I'll just go wash my hands and come."

"No!" She whispered.

"I'll be right-"

"No!"

I sighed and lay down beside her, placing my hand above hers and intertwining our fingers and turned on my side to face her,

"Okay, I'm right here. Sleep."

When she still looked at me doubtfully, I moved closer and raised my eyebrows,

"Can I?"

I motioned to the space between us, hoping she would get it. She contemplated and then nodded.

I put an arm around her waist and she shifted closer, buried her face in my bare neck and placed her hand on my shirtless chest as she closed her eyes.

Pulling the duvet over us, I didn't know when or how, but I fell asleep with her in my arms, mind, eyes and heart.

And I didn't even know that.

***

I woke up early the next morning.

Thank Allah I did, or I knew for sure she might've screamed.

Because internally, I did too. But for different reasons.

Kainaat was completely curled up not only beside me, but partly on me too.

Her cheek was pressed against my chest and unlike usual, her face, even in her sleep, seemed worried as her eyebrows were furrowed.

Does this girl think in her sleep too?

Shaking my head, I pried her hands off me and got up, but then I noticed that her palms were too warm to be normal.

I checked her forehead and she whimpered in her sleep.

She was burning.

"Shoot."

Quietly, I made my way down and bought up a small towel and a bowl of cold water, dipping the towel in the bowl, I drenched it and placed it on her forehead and covered her in a blanket and quickly freshened up.

I rechanged the cloth on her forehead thrice until the temperature dropped down a notch. I wanted to wake her up but when I shook her, she just furrowed her eyebrows deeper.

Easing the crease on her forehead, I gently kissed her forehead and made my way down for breakfast.

As we all seated down, Fariyal was the first one to ask,

"Where is Kainaat, Zaidaan bhaiya?"

I gulped down my orange juice and shot her a smile,

"She has a fever, I didn't want to wake her up."

I didn't miss the way Fariyal's eyes widened in concern and Abaan placed his fork down.

"Oh." Was my Mom's response. For some reason, her face had brightened.

"Awh, I'd planned on showing her and Fariyal Bhabhi around the neighbourhood today!"

I glanced at Inaya and asked amusedly, "College nahi hai aapka?"

"Ek-aad din na jayei toh kuch nahi hota, bhai." She huffed.

I chuckled and got up from my seat, "Acha, I'll leave now. Chalo, aapke toh mazay hai." I told Inaya nad ruffled her hair and kissed the top of her head as I whispered, "Take care of Kainaat."

She nodded my way with a smile and I made my way to mom.

Kissing her on her cheek, I said,

"Allah hafiz, mamma. Take care."

She patted my cheek and I gave my greetings before making my way upstairs and waking Kainaat up,

when she didn't open her eyes and her temperature had increased, I groaned and went back down.

I found my mom in the kitchen, helping the maids and ordering them on what to make for lunch,

"Mummy?"

"Yes beta?"

"Mom, Kainaat is very sick, can you take her to a hospital in a while? She isn't waking up."

My mom all but dragged me out of the kitchen,

"What do you mean she isn't waking up?"

"Her temperature is too high."

A ghost of a smile was on my mother's face,

"Are you sure it's just a fever, son?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, her tone was not convincing,

"What exactly are you implying, mamma?"

She waved her hand about, a spatula in her other hand,

"You know, I'm not implying anything. I'm just saying. Maybe she isn't sick, sick. Maybe it's...supposed to happen?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, "Mom."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Is she...?"

I wasn't so dumb that I didn't understand where she was going. I groaned and covered my face,

"Mamma!"

My mom laughed, "Have you seen your face? It's red!"

I took in a deep breath to calm myself,

"Mom, please, do not ask her such questions. And also, I don't think people get a high fever when they're expecting. How did you even assume that from a fever? Honestly, women are impossible. Ya Allah, mom, just take care of her."

My mom nodded but continued chuckling and controlling her laughter at my outburst as Inaya joined us,

"What's so funny?"

Not wanting anymore embarrasment, I shook my head and walked out. This was gonna be a long day.

But I had a smile throughout the day, And I didn't even know that.

****

K A I N A A T

I woke up with light filling my eyes. I squinted and covered my face, trying to lessen the pain in my head.

"Kainaat?"

A voice called out to me. Was that Mom? I need Ammi.

"Ammi..." I murmured.

"It's not your Ammi, bro. Get up. FAST!"

She all but practically screamed and I sat up, wide awake.

I groaned when my body felt soar,

"What the heck, man."

"Yeah, good afternoon. It's time for lunch. Mom's calling us down."

I glared at Fariyal, "I don't feel okay."

She shrugged, "I know, love. I'm gonna take you to a hospital after lunch."

I rubbed my forehead, "Is mamma here?"

Fariyal smiled gently at me, "No, silly. I meant Abaan's mom when I said Mom's calling us."

"Oh. Okay."

I shivered and thats when I noticed the coldness on my forehead,

"Wet cloth? Why'd you do this, Fariyal, you know I hated it when mom used to do this."

Fariyal grinned at me and shuffled closer to me, a dangerous smile on her lips as her dupatta slipped from her side,

"I never did this."

I looked at her, taken aback.

Somehow for a moment my heart jolted and the first person I thought would this was Abaan. But then my mind registered that that man would never come near me as long as I'm his brother's wife.

Brother's wife.

Zaidaan.

I felt the heat on my cheeks as I remembered last night. The dream. I woke up saying his name.

I shuddered with chills, but this time for different reasons. He was a bit too gentle last night.

I focused back on Fariyal, "Inaya did?"

She shook her head.

"Mom?"

"No."

"Asma Baji?"

"Mhmm, nope."

"The maids?"

"Uff Allah, Kainaat! Must it be the maids if not the people of this home? Why can't you for once give the credits to your husband!"

"Zaidaan did this?"

Fairyal rolled her eyes, "No. His wife did."

I disregarded her comment and fell silent.

What has gotten into him?

What had gotten into me?

What was my dream?

And why did I let him sleep beside me?

Ya Allah, why did I have a nightmare?

I knew I was going mad over a silly thing but I just couldn't help it. This was all too overwhelming.

I contemplated telling Fariyal about last night, but then thought better of it.

"Chalo, jaldi. They're waiting for us."

I nodded and she went out.

Somehow, talking to Fariyal just made me feel worse.

She is my sister, I was supposed to feel at home.

But my mind was going to places and thinking things I didn't want to.

I was going in a dangerous territory. I never felt so wrong about anyone than I did now, about Fariyal.

I was jealous of her. For things that were out of her hand.

I couldn't believe myself and I spent longer than necessary freshening up, added the fact that my body was extremely painful and uncomplying to my wishes.

I needed to talk to someone. I couldn't keep this in anymore.

****

After lunch, I sat beside Fariyal and across Inaya, Rubina Aunty- eventhough I called her mom, I just couldn't accept seeing her in the light of 'mom', a term that was for the person who was dearest to my heart- and Asma Baji.

Pain shot through my head and neck every now and then, and having no choice, I leaned my head against Fariyal's shoulder.

She adjusted on her side to make me comfortable and a pang of guilt shot on my heart when I thought of what I was thinking just a few hours back.

I love her the same but it's...I didn't know. Different? Difficult? Both? I didn't know.

I closed my eyes and relaxed a bit.

"Abaan will be here in a few, Inaya, Fariyal, you will accompany Kainaat to the hospital."

My eyes snapped open and sat up straight, "Abaan?"

As soon as his name left my mouth, tension filled the air.

I saw how Fariyal squeezed my hand discretely, Inaya placed her teacup down, wide-eyed, Asma Baji glanced at me with a worried expression and Mom pursed her lips in a disapproving way.

I didn't know my tone was that obvious.

Inaya nodded, "Yes."

Trying to cover up my outburst, I asked, "Why? Where is Zaidaan?"

I was pretty sure I sounded like a kid and Fariyal gently nudged me, shaking her head and muttering something like 'bewakoof' under her breath.

Asma Baji gave me a small, cautious smile and a spark of interest arose in Rubina Aunty's eyes,

"Zaidaan had a lot of work today, as he had taken a few days off for the weddings."

I nodded, "Ji."

She clapped her hands once,"Chalo, then. Abaan will be-"

"I'm here, mamma. What is it that you wanted me to do?"

And there, sadly, stood Abaan Farooq, his tie loose and hair tousled, his coat on his right arm and a lazy smile on his lips.