《From hate, to Lust to Love》1 Bitch and Moron

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It's late. I need to rush or I will miss the bus. And Mr.Cooper, my employer will not take kindly to me being late two consecutive days. I need to wake up a little earlier than 5 a.m to finish cooking. Mum and two of my step sisters hardly lift a thumb when I am at home. So, the burden of breakfast and dinner falls on me. If I am home, I do lunch as well. My step dad, never happy no matter what I do, and makes sure I work for my keep. Well, I pay him rent for the room I keep. It is for food I need to work for he says.

I am 23. My step sister Shermila is 25 and Faiza is 22. My step dad is a director of one of the IT companies in New York. "They" have sufficient money. It is me who is working for minimum wage. The house we live in is supper luxurious in one of the fine neighborhoods. I get $2000 from my job. I pay $1000 rent and food. For transportation and taxi I pay $700. I am saving the other $300. I haven't had a dress in over 2 years. I wear hand downs from my step sisters. My mother married my step father when I was 10. Well,from then it's pretty clear where I stand in the family.

I am one of those people who wear abaaya in the neighborhood. I am 5"7 tall, slim and fair in complexion. My father was from Palestine. Mother is from Pakistan. Father died in one of his trip to Palestine, killed by the military in one of their bombing. I haven't met my fathers relatives.

My mother is a socially active person with friends, tea parties and all nonsense. Soon after my father died, she married my step father who had two daughters of his own. And I became the spare wheel in the happy family.

Soon after collage, I started to work and here I am, rushing myself to office. My step father take this route to his office but he certainly didn't want to take his step daughter. Well, whatever my faults are, one thing no one can blame me is my optimism. I am generally a happy person.

My step dad Asad is talking about marriage lately with my mother. I overheard my name few times. I have a bad feelings things are going to get complicated. I must be mad or stupid to marry whoever my supposedly caring parents choose. Shermila and Faiza hate me. They cant stand me despite me making many efforts over the years. Now I have given up any attempts. Though they are rude and condescending all times, I treat them with indifference.

My close friend is Marry. She is my partner is crime, not that we commit any crime. From school till now, we are the good girls, teachers pet and religious ones. And we work at the same place.

*******************

I am drunk. I don't know who is this blond sleeping next to me naked but I don't think I care. Time for the bitch to go away. I have work to do. I like women only when I f*ck them. when I am done, I want them gone.

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The blond woke up. "Please go. You have served your purpose darling" she was shocked to hear my rude order. I don't care.

"Will we meet again" she asked. Women love me. I know that. I am 6"2, well muscled from my gym, blue eyes, clear skin, brown hair. Every girls dream in short.

"Not in this life time" she opened her mouth but I got up. "I want you gone within an hour or I will toss you out"

"You bastard" she spat at me.

"I am darling. I sure am" I told her.

I don't have family. My mother left me with my abusive grandparents when I was a baby. I never heard of her again. My father, I don't know. It can be anyone. The only people I know and hate until my dying days are my grand parents and my aunties - Anne and Cami. Oh yes, payback time will come. I will hold on till then.

My grandparents absolutely torture me. Except death, I knew all pain. My birth circumstances were given as a possession of demonic influence and I was dragged from church to church, healer to healer, psychic to psychic and torture to torture. I was beaten until I was unconscious. I was kept on the freezing snow, and boiling waters. Yes. That's what I went through until I was 10. I was physically and verbally abused. I slept on the floor, ate what is left over, work as long until I drop down from fatigue, and I stayed and prayed they will like me, until I was 10.

At 10, I made the conscious decision to rebel. And rebel I did, and that was when hell broke lose. I made them miserable. No amount of beating, cruelty or threats made any difference. I went to a catholic school. I don't believe in God. God doesn't exist for me. I am the best and worst at school. I excel in my studies though I hardly open a book. For some reason what I hear stuck in my head. I became a geniuses in mathematics and physics. At 14, I was the school supper star. I was the leader of the school football team and I lead where ever I stood. I am a leader. At 16, I got a scholarship to attend one of the best schools in New York. That's where my life change for what it is today.

I started part times jobs when I was 14. At 16, I threaten my grandparents Jim and Maggie unless they let me go to New York, I am intending to demonize the house. By that time, I am the exact face of evil. I party hard, I did drugs and I have slept with each and every girl in the school. A good track record. With the little money I had saved from my part time jobs and the investments I made, yes - I said investments I made, I was sure even without the consent of Jim and Maggies I could attend collage. I had the midas touch. My understanding of business, Science, IT and mathematics made me one of the few people in my school, who didn't depend on their rich parents. At 18, I was a A+ student with a GPA of 4*. I worked for a Tec giant for the last 7 years. I started in Tec support and became I am a VP of the same company at 25. My social skills are beyond comprehension. My negotiation skills are lethal. I go for the kill and get it all the time.

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That is until, I got fired for something I didn't do. A fraud I didn't commit. A crime I have no part in. I was unjustly imprisoned for 2 years. I gave up my Benz, beach front house, Expensive personal items and I was reduced to living in a crumbling building, a dirty apartment and anything I can do to survive. And I will survive. I will take down those who harmed me. And I will do whatever it takes to get my life back.

*************************************************

I need a coffee. There is this coffee place in front of my office, and they have my favorite latte ready for me. What fascinates me these days is a guy I see everyday at 7.30 a.m with a coffee cup in hand, and intent on his computer, working on some kind of a complex thing I have no idea about. It looks so complex from the screen that is faced to me. Ok, I am not a Tec geek but I am sure whatever he does is more than a normal Tec geek can handle.

Many times I have seen him looking at me when I enter the coffee shop and every time with disgust. Now, disgust and hostility is a look I am immune to as that's what I get most of the time from people for the kind of Islamic attire I wear. But the way he looks kind of scare me. He looks cruel to the point I started to avoid him. He is been coming to the coffee shop for that last 4 months.

He is handsome guy. His eyes are sky blue. And I love sky blue. Why, the headscarf I am wearing today is sky blue too. I took my coffee and turned to go, and damned. This idiot of a man is standing right behind me with his damned laptop in hand, and what did I do. I spill and entire coffee cup on his computer. Damned. I froze when I saw his eyes changing something like a dark blue with anger. I know it is not my fault. I didn't expect anyone stand behind me. But it felt like my fault.

"I am so sorry" I said taking paper towels from the counter and trying to wipe it off. The computer is shut out, and I could feel the guys temper rising to dangerous level. He held my hand when I was wiping the computer, and he held it so hard, I thought my hand would break.

"You f*cking bitch. You ruined my work and destroyed my computer. You will buy me one or I will make sure you die a slow death"

I generally don't get angry. I am very cool, tolerant and understanding. But my abuse quota is almost full for the day, and I am not going to be verbally attacked by this guy. I had enough attacks for a lifetime from my family.

"Look, you were standing right behind me, too close. It is not my fault I knocked on you. I don't have the money nor the intentions to buy you anything. If you'd excuse me, I have work to do"

"No, you filthy bitch. You will do what I say or mark my word, I have enough time in the world to make you suffer"

What is wrong with this guy. Why is he acting like a moron.

"Threaten someone who actually cares. I said it is not my fault, and it isn't. But if you insist I can share half the cost of repair out of my generosity. But that's all" by this time we have a small audience and I felt really embarrassed.

He left my hand which was bruised, and walk away.

I went to office. Marry was already in.

"You are late"

"I know. Had bit of trouble at the coffee shop" and I explained her what happened.

It is neither my fault or the guys when I think over it. But how he treated me was not acceptable.

"Don't worry. Just avoid the coffee shop for sometime" Marry said. May be I should.

***************************************

That bitch spilt coffee on my computer where I was working on my investment software. All I had work is gone. I need another computer but I don't have the money. I am in deep deep trouble. My work for 6 months is gone. I have nothing left now.

Anger rising in me. I will destroy her if I cant get the work retrieved. It was her mistake. Not mine. My livelihood and life depends on this. There is no getting away making me angry. I know the net and I know the hacking. She will learn soon enough, my phone is enough to hack in to her life and mess it completely.

I have seen her before. She is one of those holly, religious type ones. She has golden eyes. That's all I have noticed of her. I hate her kind. And they hate me. But no one F*ck with me.

I went to my apartment and tried saving the hardware. This going to take time. And I don't have f*cking time.

I manage to salvage my work atleast 75% after a weeks' attempt. I didn't go out of home because I need to finish my work. When I set my mind to work, there is no one, not even myself can persuade me to stop.

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