"Martha, I don't feel good about this," Anaya said.

"I-I feel like something is wrong, I have to find him." She said.

"He does this quite a lot, when he isn't in the best mood he goes out on a drive," Martha replied

"It's been three hours. Is there someone I can contact, maybe to track him?" She asked.

"You can contact his driver, John. Maybe Luis? the tech guy? Let me get the number." She said, grabbing her phone and squinting at it for a minute.

"Here."

Anaya took the phone and dialed Luis. It ringed a couple of times, and then he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hello? This is Anaya. Anaya Abassi? Ali is gone, and he has not come home in a while, do you know anything?"

"He's not with us, neither is he on a task. It must be personal."

"Is there a way you can track him,"

"It'd be really hard for me to, his phone, his car, or pretty much any tech he has on him is shielded."

"Can you try, please? Please."

"He will kill me if I intervene in something I'm not supposed to ma'am."

"I'll make sure he won't Luis, I promise. So please."

"Okay, I'll try. I'll give you a call if I get a hit."

"Okay thank you so much." He hangs up,

"I have to go," I say to Martha. Anaya runs up the stairs, and into the bathroom, washing her hands and face- performing ablution, and as soon as she is done, she goes to the room to lay out a shawl to do what she does best.

Pray.

She prays two raqats, puts her hands up in prayer. The anxiety building up in her chest overwhelming her to no end.

"Oh Allah, I don't know what I said wrong, but I know that I didn't mean to hurt him, Ya Allah I love him, I do. He has to be okay, please. Forgive him for his sins, Ya Allah you're the greatest and you're the most merciful, please forgive us, and protect him from harm." She begged.

Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours, time wouldn't pass as she walked back and forth through the living room waiting for the phone to ring. Until it finally did, she paused and turned around to grab the phone and answer the call.

"Yes?"

"So, I got a hit on his phone for half a second before it died out, I forwarded the location to John so-"

"Thank you, thank you!" Anaya said hanging up.

"Anaya? Did you hear back?"

"I have to go see," She replied, wearing her sneakers.

"It's raining! take this." Martha came with an umbrella.

"Thank you!" Anaya said, running out the door.

John had parked his car right on the curb, so without a second to waste Anaya got in the car and they drove off. Anaya kept an eye out for Ali or his car, or anything suspicious. The car ride wouldn't end, as they were driving to unknown empty roads and forests and she couldn't see anything. The spark of hope in her eyes fading, her anxiety rising yet again.

"This is my fault." She thought, tears filling her eyes.

"Ma'am! Look!" John said.

Anaya looked upfront, and there was a car parked on the side of the road and a man laid in the middle.

"Ali!"

Anaya got out of the car and ran. Falling to where his body was, as she tried to lift him by his shoulder to put him on her lap.

"Ali! Wake up. Ali!" She screamed, getting drenched herself until John came with an umbrella over their head.

"Hold this, please," He said to Anaya, and she did hovering it over him. John lifted Ali on his back with a groan, slowly carrying him to the car, as Anaya held the umbrella over them, getting soaked herself.

He laid him down at the back, and Anaya closed the umbrella to get inside, she pulled him down to rest on his lap. As she tried to wake him up.

"Ali, please. Wake up, please."

The heater was on full speed, the car began to heat up in no time, but he was still unconscious and as cold as ice. Anaya tried to keep him as close to her as possible trying to project her body heat to his, but she was just as wet, now.

The car ride was length even though John drove fast, and it only worried Anaya further. There was nothing she could do, and he wouldn't wake up. John dialed their family doctor and explained the symptoms to him.

"If he's unconscious it can be moderate hypothermia, can you feel his pulse?" He said.

Anaya placed her two fingers under his jaw to check for a pulse.

"It's weak, really weak." She said.

"Does he have any injuries to his head?"

"No there's no marks." She replied.

"It's hypothermia, take off his wet clothes- it's making him colder."

Anaya didn't hesitate, she quickly took off his dress shirt, and her hands shook as she undid his belt.

"Here, Ma'am. John said giving her his blazer.

She took the blazer and covered Ali's pelvis, and pulled him close to her chest, hugging him as tight as she could, until she felt some movement.

"Ali? do you hear me?"

"A-a" He tried to say but his eyes kept closing, and his speech was slurred.

"It's okay, keep your energy. Please, just hang on" She said holding him close.

"We're here, please wait until they can come out with a cover for him," John said pulling to the curb.

Around five guards came to the car right away, and Anaya quickly got out as they covered Ali with the sheets and placed him on the stretcher to bring him inside. Anaya quickly followed behind, they took him to his room, where the doctor was waiting. The room was very hot, as they had prepared it before arrival, the doctor began to administer an IV and oxygen.

"I have to take his sheets off to put on a gown," The doctor said,

"O-okay," Anaya said, turning around.

"Okay," He said, hinting he was done.

The doctor covered him up with several sheets and a duvet, a portable heater right by Ali's bedside.

"It'll take around 45 minutes for the IV to finish, his temperature should return by then. I will be here until then, but make sure he stays warm."

"Okay."

The doctor began to walk out, but before he leaves he looks at me.

"You might want to change your clothes. I didn't bring two IVS." He said.

"Oh! Thank you, sir." Anaya replied.

She quickly went to the bathroom and washed her hands and her face. She changed into nightclothes and quickly headed back out.

She sat next to Ali and held his hand, his hand was still cold but it was better than it was in the car. She brought his hand to her lips.

"I'm sorry." She said.

She laid her head on his chest and stayed there. His beating heart bringing her immense comfort and relief. Her head was pounding, and her neck was also distressed from all the tension. So she got up, and got inside the duvet with him, hugging his arm, looking at him sleep.

She laid there awake, not catching a wink of sleep until she saw him wake up. Finally, there was a knock on the door. She got up and wore her shawl over her shoulder and her hijab over her head.

"Hello, just here to check." The doctor said coming in.

He took Ali's temperature by his forehead and gave a nod. He looked at the IV bag that was now empty and gently took out his IV- discarding it.

"96.8 F, he is no longer hypothermic. Keep him warm, when wakes up give him warm foods, and check his temperature again in half an hour, his temp needs to get back up to a normal of 98.6 F. Call me if there is anything else."

"Of course, thank you so much." She said.

The doctor left, and Anaya went to the staircase to advise the tense Amee and Martha on the couch that Ali was okay. She looked at them from the top of the stairs and gave them a reassuring nod, and both of them sighed in relief.

Anaya headed back into the room, and took off her scarf and shawl, and sat next to him on the bed. She brushed back his hair and ran her fingers through them. His lips were no longer the pale blue she saw they were a while ago. she caressed his hair, to his eyes, to his lips. Her heart was clenching looking at him in this state, and she couldn't help but blame herself for his sickness.

"Ali?" She said

She saw him swallow dryly, and his eyes twitched.

"Ali? are you awake?"

"Hm," His chest vibrated.

"Ali!" She said, tears yet again filling her eyes, as she hugged him...

"Anaya...." he said, his voice even quieter than a mere whisper.

"Yes. Yes. I am so sorry, please forgive me. I didn't mean to say that about you, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry." She cried.

Ali lifted his hand barely two inches up, to rest on the small of her back. Yearning to comfort her, even when he needed it more. Anaya pulled away and took hold of his hand.

"I shouldn't have woken you up. You should rest. Do you want some water?" She asked

He nodded.

She got off the bed quickly and poured some water in his glass, setting it aside to first pull him up enough to be able to drink. She brought the glass to his lips, and he took three gulps of it before turning his head. She laid him back down and set the glass down. She went back into the closet to grab a sweater and some sweatpants for him.

Ali watched as she ran around trying to take care of him, a part of him felt pathetic for letting himself get like this but more than that he felt so loved.

Ali began to recall a memory, of when he got shot in his thigh, the bullet was taken out and he was given pain killers but the internal pain never subsided. He laid in his room alone, dragged himself to the bathroom, and broke several glasses trying to pour himself water. The worst part was, his parents had known- but mafia leaders had to be strong, they had to be made of steel. But he wasn't, he was human.

Anaya returned with a black sweater and gray sweatpants in her hands. As Ali gained full consciousness and began to feel his body again.

She lifted Ali again to sit, and Ali smiled because he knew he could do it himself, but he was loving the attention.

She placed the sweater over his head and guided his arms through the armholes, pulling the sweater down.

"Will you be able to put these on? It'll just take a second, and you can lay back down." She said.

"Hmm. I don't know." He said teasingly.

"I-It'll only take a minute." She said, her face turning hot red.

Ali slowly began to get up, Anaya put the pants on the bed and turned around. She could hear some movement and then she felt hands embrace her from the back, Ali putting her hair aside to bury his head in the crook of her neck. She could feel his breath on her skin, and it made her shiver.

"Thank you," He whispered.

"Sit down," She said.

Turning around Anaya took hold of his two arms and got him to sit back down on the bed. She pulled the duvet over him, as he watched her every move. She also took a seat on his side of the bed, holding his hand.

"Did I cause this?" She whispered her voice breaking- dread apparent on her face.

"No," he shook his head.

"Then why did you do it? Why were you laying in the middle of the road lifeless? What if we didn't find you?" She said, tears glistening her glowing brown eyes.

"There are so many things that I want to tell you, but I can't... I can't bring myself to," He said, his voice low, deep, and steady.

"Please, Ali."

"I want you to leave," He said.

Anaya's face straightened, out of shock. Her heart racing faster.

"What?"

"You don't deserve to be here, you don't deserve to be with an excuse of a man like me."

"What is wrong with you?" She said.

"Anaya. you asked me who I was. And I think we both know who I am. I am a faithless, unmerciful bastard, and you should be afraid of me because I am the worst there is."

Anaya sat there in silence.

"There is no forgetting what I have done, there is no undoing the blood that is on my hands, and there is no doubt... that you shouldn't be here." He said

"I was selfish. Selfish to make you fall for me, and selfish to make you stay. I don't expect you to forgive me." He said

Ali came closer to Anaya, to put his forehead against hers.

"I am sorry, my love-" He began

"You should go, I will prepare an army of security to keep you safe. You can return to your life, to you students and friend-" He got cut off, as Anaya pushed him back.

Tears were dripping like a flowing stream down her cheeks, she hit his chest as hard as she could. For the first time, she was angry.

"How dare you?" She said, pushing him back.

"How dare you, Ali? To bring me here, and put me through all sorts of terror, and then make me fall for you, and then look me in the eye and tell me I don't deserve to be here. That you can't be with me. I know who you are, Ali. I do now. You're a coward." She cried harder, her own words paining her.

"You're a coward for not telling me to stay, I wanted to stay! I don't want your army, I wanted YOU. I wanted you, Ali, I WANTED YOU!" She screamed her body shuddering from her sobs as she hit him continuously, while even in his vulnerability he did not budge to her slaps.

Ali stopped her hands grabbing her wrists as she shook from her sobs, her head falling. He let go of her wrist to hold her face.

"Anaya, listen to me. I am doing this for you, you said it yourself-"

"I didn't say I didn't want to be with you because you're violent, I asked you why!"

Ali was speechless.

"Why Ali? Why couldn't you run away?"

"It's not that easy, Anaya." He started.

"You show a child how to use fucking gun instead of a toy car every day of his life, that's what he'll be learning. When you leave a child, shaking with fear in an empty room, he will go crazy. I didn't have a choice, Anaya. I was bred into who I am, and that is who I am trying to protect you from. I can run away but, do you want your kids to have a father like me? Be honest Anaya, do you want them to have a father who has killed more people than he can remember? Who operates a criminal organization? Hmm?"

"Even if I run away. I can't change who I used to be, I can't rinse off the blood and the sins. Look at who you are. You deserve a happy family, with a normal dude who is also like, like a teacher or something." He chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Baby, I love you more than I have loved anyone before. But you can't and you shouldn't look past the sins I have committed. You changed me... changed me like I would've never believed. I can't drag you in this world, more than I already have." He said sorrow in his eyes, his jaw clenching and unclenching to control the pain he was in.

"What do you mean by you can run away?" Anaya asked, hope in her eyes.

"Anaya.. are you even listening to me?"

"No. No, I am not. I don't want to marry a stupid teacher. I want you..."

"And as for my kids, they're not going to see some villain. They'll see their strong dad, who endured much more than he should've had to since the very day he was born. So run away, please Ali, run away." She begged.

"Anaya.."

Anaya sat up straight, holding his hands.

"Runaway, Ali. Please, please. Do this for me, for our future."

"Please, please." she cried.

"Anaya," he tried.

"No! please Ali! Please!" She kept going, her voice breaking.

"Okay, okay!" Ali stopped her from shaking and pulled her in settling her on his lap, her face buried in his neck.

"Stop crying," He said.

Another sob escaped her mouth.

Ali fell back on the bed, Anaya still stuck to him.

"You're soaking my sweater, it's making me cold." He joked lightly.

She instantly sat up, when he said it was making him cold. Grabbing a tissue from the stand to wipe her face.

"Sorry, sorry." She said.

He pulled her back to him by her arm. Both of them laying in each other embrace, almost silently if it wasn't for Anaya's after-cry hiccups.

"Shhh," Ali said, caressing her head.

Anaya took a second to reflect on what took over her. It was as if all of the things she was confused about had been smoothed out. She wanted him, and nothing else.