Sometimes life is harder than our balled up fists, sometimes the answers don't come as easily as the salty tears flow, sometimes its more about living through what we never thought you could and becoming stronger than you never thought you would.

There are day where our bodies gets out of bed and goes through the motion, but our heart stays behind and waits for the roll over of the events where our mind keeps the label of .

The realization of truth and reality can never be created by the mind.... It always comes as a gift of grace. Inquiry clears away misperceptions and illusion, making one available to the movements of grace.

Amaan had realized his mistakes and he had taste the reality of Arzoo.

He was feeling................ Guilty!

But accepting it was never his cup of tea. There was fight between his heart and his mind. But he was not a master mind for nothing as he would shut his heart never let it to crawl to his mind.

But still he could feel the space between them was empty. They never shared the same space but he started feeling something which he couldn't decipher what.

Amaan and Arzoo never loved each other but the place between them was desolate and untenanted.

It's been 3 weeks since Amaan took Arzoo to his father's duplex. He knew that she was doing fine while he himself was restless. There was something which was making him ill at ease.

He was always a man of work and he wanted 100% from other's too but after he was left alone, he had became a bull. Anger was his ally and patience was far away from him.

'' what the fuck is this?'' his roar made all his stuff tremble and ready to pee in their pants. They were sweating and shivering as they all knew that their boss was on his kill mood nowadays.

''s...sir its t..the project papers wh...which we are working on'' his manager peter hawkson replied with much difficulty as he was shivering. Amaan throw the papers on his face and stood up from his chair. Peter was quivering by now and he stood still in his place with his head down.

'' do you think I am a fucking idiot'' he roared again and round his desk. He was now standing in front of him.

'' do not get in my nerves boy as I will smash you like nothing. Get the hell out of her and put your ass on work as I want the improvement. Not fucking the sheets. And by 4 get me the reports of improvement. Before that nobody can leave and nobody will show their pathetic face to me'' he snarled making him shiver. Peter nodded and left his office drench all in sweat.

Ali entered his office. Without knock as he was the one to dare to do that. Amaan was buried reading a file and he clearly knew who the person is. Looking at him from the file he saw Ali seated in front of him. there was contentment in his face which didn't go un-notice by Amaan. Putting the file to the side he sighed and rubbed his temples.

'' don't bother I have already ordered coffee for both of us'' Ali's calm voice made him to look at him. Ali was noticing him for past few days and he clearly knew about his reverie but he knew if he tells Amaan, he will never accept it.

Amaan was restless ever since he finds all the truth of that dread full night and on top of that, Arzoo's condition made things worse for him. Amaan took Arzoo to his father's duplex when she was under the medicines and fast asleep. He took her around 2 at night and spend the night beside her. When she would stir in her sleep while she was having nightmares, he would take her in his arms and embrace her tight. Around dawn he left from there as he knew she will wake up and won't be happy to see him around.

'' how is she?'' his voice was hoarse and tired. Tired of fighting and finding the feelings which he was feeling. Tired of living alone almost miserable. Tired of suppressing his emotions.

'' she is fine. Doing good.'' Ali replied and reading his face. Amaan nodded. He sighed and put his head on his chair and closed his eyes.

'' Amaan why don't you go and see her. you know you can't hide your emotions from me as we are inseparable now since I am your partner in one of your business. Plus your friend and your cousin. And I clearly can see that you are feeling lonely without her. You have found feelings for her. Go and see her clear things with her. For how long you will live alone?

Work on his marriage and have your home with your wife beside you. Stop your ego and step further man'' Ali almost beseeched looking at him but Amaan was looking at him intently with a calm expression on his face but from inside he was in chaos.

'' you are living in a nut shell Ali, get out of it'' Amaan seethed under his teeth and took his coffee. After having a sip he closed his eyes again. Ali knew that he was in chaos but to his utter perfection, he was hiding it.

'' she is miserable Amaan. She is wretched. You're the one who is responsible of her this condition so only you can heal her'' Ali beseeched again taking him completely off guard. Amaan's eyes darted toward him and kept looking at him while his mind was registering his words. She was messing with his mind and heart. She was playing with the branches of his heart while he had band any feelings there. Just when he wanted to say something, his intercom rang making him groan.

'' yeah '' it was sharp and curd showing no interest to talk or see anyone.

''s..sir your mother i... I mean Zarina ma'am is on the line. She wants to talk to you''

This caught Amaan off guard. He froze and his eyes were wide. His shocked expression was not hidden from Ali as he got it too.

'' connect '' he managed to say it his utter shocking state. His heart was beating fast as after so long he will be hearing his mother's voice. After almost one and a half month. He was yearning for his mother, to see her to hear her voice or to feel his warm embrace. Ali for the first time noticed his eyes glistening and he clearly knew why.

'' mom '' his voice came like a whisper and he choked on his words. Closing his eyes he was waiting for her mother's voice. His heart was beating fast like he could hear his heart beat and they were numbing his ears.

'' Amaan come home I need to talk to you ''

Her voice held no emotions as he noticed. It was cold and devoured but in reality, she was a mother after all. She knew Amaan was wrong but still she couldn't see her own child to suffer. She didn't know the full truth all she saw and hear was he slapped her and ill talked with her with abusive words which broke her heart. She didn't like it a bit as why would her own son do that to his wife.

He slapped her and abused her with words which she never thought she would hear it.

Where did she go wrong in the upbringing of her son?

How can he use such words while she was crying and defending herself.

He named her a whore?

His own wife?

His pride?

He was having mistresses and does he still have?

Aren't they husband in wife in real manner?

her health was not fine and with these questions, her health took a spike as she felt pain in her heart that made her close her eyes. And she scrummed to darkness.

When she opened her eyes, she never wanted to see him but she was restless about Arzoo. But all of a sudden Mr. Ahmad said that Arzoo is in Afghanistan. That made her curious but she being a mother too couldn't tell anyone what she saw and heard. After thinking the best solution was to call Arzoo and she knew Amaan was restless for his mother and he would never deny her. to her relieve one morning when she woke up Mr. Ahmad informed her about Arzoo and Amaan being in their house. She was restless to see them but she kept herself in control. Amaan left from there telling his father that Arzoo is weak and she needs to be around them as he was on his tour of business. Mrs. Zarina knew that Amaan was avoiding her and he kept Arzoo there but the question was that why was she weak?

Was she alright?

But after seeing her, she got her answers. She found Arzoo so weak and vulnerable and that spiked her anger more toward her son. While others thought she was sick cause of the travel but she knew that there is more in to it. And after spending time with her, she realized Arzoo is zoned out. she also noticed that whatever she or the nurse would say, Arzoo would do it but her behavior was pointing something else. As she was breathing but she was looking like a corpse. Mr. Ahmad noticed it too. now both were eager to set things right. One side was her son. who was lost in his work while as Ali told them that he was regretting but he was hiding it and making himself work like hell. And the other side was a precious and innocent girl who had faced a lot in her life and now all they wanted for her and their son to live a happy and peaceful.

Both needed that.

And as parents they wanted to settle things between them.

Amaan heaved of defeat and rubbed his temples. Putting the phone back he leaned on his chair, looking at the ceiling with a thoughtful face. Ali was watching it all. He had seen Arzoo. He even wanted to talk to her but she was quiet. didn't give him a look and he knew she was not fine.

He couldn't see his friend in that miserable situation. When he heard that Amaan took Arzoo to his father's house, he was happy as he knew that Amaan was regretting his past decisions and wanted to mend things. But he himself was not helping either. His toughness and his distance from others were always making things difficult for him and for others to reach to him or he reach to others. He had built the shell around him since childhood which no body dared to break unless he himself wanted to break it.

It's been 3 weeks now that Arzoo was with his family and he kept himself busy travelling around the world for his business purposes which was a good excuse to regarding of the fact that he really was busy or he himself was making his mind busy. While he could send someone else from his office to travel for the designated business but he himself choose to travel since he wanted to keep himself busy.

'' I don't want to go there '' he dejectedly said with a face morphed with pain and anger. Ali groaned and huffed. He ranked his hairs with his hands and looked at Amaan who stood and was watching outside of the window with his hands in his pockets. His body was rigid and stiff. Clearly was looking tensed.

'' I told you. You need to see her once and also aunty is calling you after one and a half month. You better go and see her too.'' his words were making Amaan more tensed but he knew it was better to face his mother after this long. As he yearn to see his mother but he knew she was not calling her to embrace her but to question her.

And Arzoo?

How was she doing?

He heaved and ranked his hands in his hairs. Amaan looked at Ali and Ali smiled as he knew what Amaan was telling him.

Within an hour they both entered Mr. Ahmad's duplex. Amaan was agitated as he was meeting his mother after such a long time and seeing ...............her.

Mr. Ahmad was sitting in the hall reading newspaper when he saw his son entering alone with Ali. He stood up and looked plainly to his son who got the read from the eyes of his father that something was utterly wrong. For once his mind told him that they got to know what he had done to Arzoo. His heart sank but with a fraction of a second he again regained his composure and didn't budge. As he knew something is done which he couldn't undo now.

'' good evening dad '' he said callously but with his composed face trying hard not to show how rigid he was feeling. Mr. Ahmad nodded in reply. At the same time the nurse came and told them that Arzoo has locked herself in bathroom. Amaan's heart sank. His body went rigid. Something flashed in his eyes but before anyone can read it anger took its place. When Amaan was angry he became too scary but this time he looked like a beast ready to kill anyone who came his way.

''how can you leave her alone?'' he seethed to the nurse who was shaking with fear. Mr. Ahmad and Ali looked at him and seeing his this state for the first time.

Without waiting for something he shoved the nurse and made his way to his room as now Arzoo was staying and entered. As he entered her familiar scent invaded in his nostrils awaking the beast in him as he was fearing for her life. Looking around the room, he saw his mother and Anabia waiting outside of the bathroom. The look in his mother's eyes didn't go un-notice as she was looking at her son after such a long time. He had a little stubble and his eyes hard dark circles around. He looked so tired and vexed that it churned her heart. Amaan also noticed how worn she was, she had lost weight and looked pale. Averting her eyes from his mother, he saw the bathroom's light on, Amaan stride toward the bathroom but only to be stopped by his mother.

'' Amaan '' there was a hidden warning in her voice which he noticed. Amaan looked at her mother and knew there is not rounding through the bush as she warned him to do not harm her.

Amaan ranked his hand in his hairs and looked at her back.

'' I got her mom. I will take care her'' there was so much confidence in his voice which she knew that he was true to his words. His eyes were telling her that he will take care of her.

'' Amaan broke the door'' it was Mr. Ahmad's voice which he nodded in reply and in one kick he broke the door.

He strode inside while others stayed in the behind not intruding their privacy. Amaan's eyes stopped on her who was inside the Jacuzzi which was filled and water was flowing down. She was inside the Jacuzzi almost drawn and she was struggling to get her balance but she was half inside and sinking when Amaan's strong arms pulled her up. Arzoo started coughing metrically and miserably and started crying. Amaan rubbed her back to console her and she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. Arzoo didn't know what she was doing. She came to take a shower and after the shower she wore her bathrobe and sat on the edge of the Jacuzzi. She was in deep thoughts of what Mrs. Zarina told her that she had no idea when she slipped and lost her balance and fall to the Jacuzzi.. Struggling to get out of it but every time she would slip. Right the moment she thought finally she will meet her parents, two strong arms pulled her up and was rubbing her back. Without wasting a second she hold on the arms. Amaan hugged her back and pulled her from the Jacuzzi. Mrs. Zarina saw it and after she hugged him, Mrs. Zarina eyed to all to leave them alone and all left from there. After a while he saw her that she was wearing her bath robe which was completely drenched and stick to her body. Arzoo was in her lap. Her bathrobe was till her knees leaving her calves bare and wet. This was the first time Amaan saw her smooth and creamy skin. His hands sweating holding her. she was clung to him. her breath was fanning in his neck. Arzoo's breathing came back to normal staccato. And she smelled her familiar cologne. Mustering her courage, she looked at him.

Her heart stopped beating, it looked like the oxygen left her lungs leaving them yearn for it. she was in his arms in his lap. All wet and in a bath robe. Their faces were few inches away while his breath was fanning her face. He was devilishly handsome. His hairs messy and his clothes wet cause of her. but he had stubble now which was giving him more rug look. Amaan looked at her wet face and hairs. Her long hairs were stick to her face and her bath robe. Water droplets were making pattering from her forehead to her lips. Her lips were apart and tempting. She was indeed beautiful. Her amber eyes were looking at him but he frowned when he noticed flashes of emotions in her eyes. there was sorrow, sadness, emptiness and above all there was........................ fear!

She was terror struck looking at him. All the past memories flashed in her eyes leaving her panting for oxygen as suddenly the large bathroom was shrunk and she felt like she will pass out any moment. Her hands were still around his neck. She unwound her hands and covered her front which was not showing but the bathroom was wet and stick to her body. Her color was changing as she was shivering and Amaan noticed her dilemma. He hold her but she pushed him and jumped from his lap. And stood at the corner of the bathroom shielding her self with the help of her hands. Clutching the lapels of her bathroom with one hand and other she was tugging the hems of the bathrobe to hide her legs but it was all in vain. She wasn't able to hide her legs. Amaan stood up and looked at her from head to toe. If they were normal couples then only he knew what could he do to her but they were far from being normal. She was messing with his brain in this while but after seeing her like this, he was sure that he would do something which he would regret later or may be not but she will regret. Arzoo was shivering and plastering herself more to the corner from him. Amaan sighed and took off his blazer. He offered her but she was not looking at him or his blazer but was panting and was looking around to go somewhere but not here. Amaan's jaw clenched. He gnashed his teeth and stride toward her while she shut her eyes tight to not look at him and turned her head from him. A sob escaped from her lips and tears flowed down again. She was anticipating harsh movement or something else from him but not what she felt when he pulled her to himself. She snapped opened her eyes and looked at him with fear and freight. Her breath hitched in her throat seeing him close to her wet self. Amaan spread his blazer around her and tugged her properly and hide her as much as he could. He picked her bridle style while she struggled but one look of his eyes stopped her in her tracks. Amaan gently put her on her bed. Looking at her once last time while she was looking down. Sensing heated graze on her, she nervously looked up and saw him looking at her. there was so many emotions in his eyes but she was not ready to read. Arzoo averted her eyes from him but shudder when she heard his voice.

''help her to change '' Arzoo looked up and she got confuse to see the nurse. When she came to room that she didn't noticed her?

Amaan looked at her one last time but Arzoo looked down.

''how can I forget what he did to me aunty?

He literally broke me in to pieces which will take a life time to get them back. he left me like a unsolved puzzle which I don't know what to do?'' tears flowed down from her eyes remembering the past events. Her bones chilled reminiscing his behavior and his words.

//////

Amaan walked down the hall where everyone else were waiting for him. He looked around him seeing all eyes on him.

'' Amaan I need to talk to you '' it was his mother's voice. Which was sharp and empty of any feelings regarding him. it hurted him.

He looked at Mrs. Zarina and realized the gravity of the situation.

'' come to my room '' with that she left and Amaan had no option but to follow her to her room. once they entered the room he saw Mr. Ahmad entered too. Now he realized that something big is going to happen or something will be asked from him. He composed his self and looked at her mother.

He missed her mother a lot but seeing her, he realize that she was cold toward her which hurted him to his guts.