I forced my smiles as people came forward to apply haldi on me. They were smiling on the outside and showering wishes on me but thier eyes.... gave me judging looks. A simple nobody like me marrying the heir of Alam group of companies! Also, the bride and the groom both have such degrading past as such.

Ofcourse, our apartment was too small for such a royal style function so a huge hall was booked. Famous people, media personals, etc filled the hall. It was as if half of India was present here, and it's just the haldi and mehendi ceremony. What will happen tomorrow at the nikah? I could hardly see any of our relatives. It's not like they didn't come because of me, infact, they were the first ones to arrive. I mean who would miss such a grand wedding and high quality, expensive food. Also the chance to come on camera and get to meet famous people.

Everyone is here to satisfy thier own selfishness. The media to get juicy news and the people to be the part of that juicy news and the Alam family to save thier company and stocks while turning us both into the sacrificial lambs. I wonder what He feels like though.

I tried soo hard to convince Mom to avoid my haldi but she just wouldn't hear a word. All those women looking at me and leaving no chance to touch me disgusted me to the point that I couldn't take it anymore and stormed out from the middle of the ceremony. Mom must be upset with me now but ....damn! What could I do? Their touch seemed to burn me.... I..... I was too..... afraid.

I guess she must be enjoying the royal treatment. That slut who'll be my wife tomorrow. I haven't even seen her but I seem to hate her already!

Professional stylish dressed me turning into someone even I couldn't recognise. I looked like those brides straight out from the magazines or fashion runways.

"You're soo beautiful....." They said but somehow I don't feel beautiful at all.

"The rapist is marrying the slut. Good for them." Some people were saying behind my back.

I just looked down at my hands not daring to face anyone. It was time for the Nikah soon.

My parents weren't looking at me. But I saw them crying a while ago. Today I'm getting married so I'm surrounded by hundreds of people yet I feel soo lonely. If only I hadn't committed that sin....

My groom is a rapist they say. He raped his mother's friend 6 years ago. Today, he'll be my husband after an hour.

As a girl, I had soo many dreams and aspirations for my wedding and especially for my future husband. But all of them shattered like glass when the man I loved betrayed me in such a brutal way, destroying me from inside out. My parents agreed without a question for this marriage because they want to get rid of me ASAP and all I could do was agree even though my heart is breaking and I'm soo scared.

I wore my Sherwani and looked into the mirror. Like always I look like a handsome good-looking young billionaire businessman who any woman can drool over. Any guy would kill for a fate like this but in my case I would kill to get rid of this fate.

My bride, I haven't even seen her but I've heard a lot of rumours about he that she's a slut who sleeps around with men.

I never wanted to deal with any woman in my life anymore but when after the wait of 6 agonizing year, my Mom spoke to me.... I said yes without thinking. She promised she would accept me back into our home and her life, and I was over the moon and was ready to do anything she said. So I agreed to marry her.

It was a mistake...no a sin that I did which I'm being punished for.

How much longer do I have to be punished?

My heart was thumping inside my chest as I walked towards the stage. Cameras flashed and applause filled the room. The Imam and my bride's father waited for me up there. This marriage doesn't mean anything, it's just business, but still, the thought of having a women connected to my life is....just..... I don't want this! But I'll have to do this.

I sat beside those 2 men and my father with 2 witnesses as the Imam began.

"Kaif Shabir Alam son of Shabir Ibrahim Alam accepts Naila Parwez Aziz daughter of Parwez Abdul Rahman Aziz as your Lawfully wedded wife at the Mahr of one lakh. Qubool hai?"

I swallowed as I forced myself to speak. It's all for mom.... it's all for my parents.

"Qubool hai."

"Qubool hai."

"Qubool hai." 3 times and I was a married man.

###

The reception is supposed to be the next day, and if today they're soo many guest already....what about tomorrow?

What was getting me most nervous and agitated weren't the guest, I'm used to people but the fact that.... I'd be sitting with her, pasting a fake smile on my face....my wife.

My tears won't stop and my legs won't move as it's time for my Bidaai. My parents won't even want to look at me but I want to hug them and cry my heart out. Just one last time I want to hold them....feel like I'm their daughter.

The girls, I didn't even know who they were, were dragging me with them ahead. Why won't the cameras just stop for a minute?!

I stopped in front of my sister and she immediately wrapped her arms around me crying....

"Didi.... I'm sorry....didi..."

Why was she apologizing? My sweet little sister. I'll miss her soo much.

"Don't apologise. Ayesha... I'll miss you soo much.... I love you."

"I love you too Didi. My Didi ..." She cried

It made me soo happy to hear that. I hopefully walked towards my parents and I came forward to hug them but Mumma just hugged me like a stranger with that same anger and disgust on her face like always. Daddy just patted my shoulder. It made me cry even more.

My mother in law came forward and with a bright smile on her face wiped my tears with her kerchief.

"You are our daughter now. No need to cry." She said and her words somehow felt soo assuring.

She made me sit in a limousine beside her and I was finally out of my home....and my family.

###

I was taken to a room. They said I needed to freshen up, change and redo my makeup.

Mrs. Alam, I mean my mother in law is soo sweet. For the past 4 years I had never experienced a mother's warmth even for a second. But today it felt soo lovely. But I don't get it.... Why me?

Why did she choose me? She must've heard about my reputation....then why me? Why is she soo sweet to me?

The girls helped me change. Again, this lehenga was too expensive and heavy as well. Mrs Alam was busy with the guests but once or twice she came inside to check on me.

When I was finally ready, she came in asked the girls to leave the room. She sat with me and I just gazed at her.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "Is the dress uncomfortable?"

I shook my head. "I...." What should I say?

"Are you wondering why am I soo nice to you and why did I chose you for my son?"

I watched her surprise.

She smiled slightly.

"Naila" she took my hand in hers.

"I have heard a few things about you...and to be honest any woman would dread to have such a girl married to her son. But you know what.... I don't believe all those rumours. A woman is fragile and her dignity and reputation are even more fragile. You might've made a mistake as you were young but you don't seem like a person who would commit a sin. So I wanted to take a chance."

My eyes teared up again. She believed in me?!

"As for my son...." She continued in a shaky voice.

"... or the person who is my son. I can't even call him that. He has committed a sin. Actually, I could be apologizing to you for making you marry that man. Please forgive me beta...." She took my hand with such guilt in her eyes as she started sobbing.

"No please.... don't apologise...." I said

".... I'm helpless beta that I had to ruin your life. Please forgive me. That monster....he....but I promise you, I'll never let any harm touch you. I'll protect you as my own daughter. You'll live like a queen just like I promised your parents. Just please play along for a while. Of you want, once everything is normal, he takes over the company and his reputation is cleared.... I'll set you free from this misery. I'll give you a part of our property and even send you abroad if you want so that you can start a new life and meet someone new. I promise."

I shook my head. "No Mrs Alam. You calling me your daughter and being soo nice to me is more than enough for me. I don't want any money or fame or property. I'm happy now. Really. I'm happy to be with you." I said.

She smiled wiping her tears and squeezed my hand.

"You're such a sweet girl. May Allah bless you beta. Now come. The guest are waiting. I know this is all too much for you and you must be soo nervous. But hold on just a little longer. Hm?"

I nodded. She held me by my shoulders and took me out with her. I took a deep breath....

I wasn't nervous about the guest or the media. What scared me was that finally I was about to meet him.

My

Thebeautiful bride is here."

The host announced as I sat on the stage. A few girls began throwing rose petals on the ground and she arrived.

Dressed in a long golden lehenga, I won't deny though, she looked quite a beauty but her face was down so I couldn't see clearly. As if I wanted to! So this is that slut huh? How many men did she sleep with till now? Yet she gets a chance to marry a multinational billionaire. Lucky bitch.

I stood up rolling my eyes. She walked up on the stage as I was facing away. Just then I noticed her trip from the corner of my eyes and as if by impulse I turned and caught her by her waist accidentally pulling her to me. She gasped and raised her head to mine and both our widened eyes met.

Her deep black orbs gazed into mine and her quick warm breaths tickled on my chin. I just froze.

What's wrong with me?!

Her eyes seemed do innocent and scared. She seemed familiar though. Have we met before?

The ocean. Suddenly she reminded me of the ocean. But why?

Wait forget that.... she's heavy. I stepped away immediately when she found her balance.

My heart beat increased more and more as I stepped closer to the stage. The man over there is my husband now....but he's someone hateful....a monster. Someone who ruined an innocent women's life. A rapist.

Will I be his next victim?

Well, now he has an official right on me. I'm walking into a new hell.

As that wasn't enough, I tripped and fell on him. Our eyes met but somehow they didn't seem that of a monster....or of a rapist. They seemed sincere and..... familiar. Why?

The rumours were correct though. He is handsome. I saw him just for a moment but what I saw felt soo different from what I've heard. Although his gaze soon became cold and distant.

It felt like it went on for ages as we met all the guest. Some where the once I'd only seen on TV and never thought I'd get to meet then in reality. Most shocking was when I saw Salman Khan. I thought I was going to faint.

###

After dinner, I was shown to the room. It was decorated like a dream. I was dying inside little by little. What will he do with me? He'll definitely want to consumate. Will he hurt me.....r...rape me?

The girls left leaving me alone in the room. I jumped when they closed the door behind me. I wanted to cry....run away but I took a deep shaky breath. I have to be brave. This is my life now. I have to accept it. I can't run I can't hide. If this is the faith writen for me by Allah... then I'll accept it.

My heart jumped into my throat as the door opened and he walked in and slammed the door shut behind him.

By breathing accelerated.... I was so scared. He looked soo angry and frustrated. I clenched at the lehenga as I sat hugging my knees with my head down covered by the dupatta.

"Fuck this is frustrating!" He muttered loud enough for me to hear.

"You!"

He addressed me angrily. I didn't dare to raise my head.

"I don't care who you are or what you are. This is my room and even though it's killing me.... I have to share it with you. I'd rather sleep on cold ice then to share the same bed with you. So I'll be sleeping on the couch and you can have the damn bed. I don't know how long I have to bear with you....but go on and make yourself comfortable in this house.

I don't know what my mom sees in you. But don't go on believing that I'll accept you too. Do me a favour, DO NOT touch my things, don't touch me, and don't even come in front of me.

I've heard enough about you to know what kind of a vixen you are. I'm not going to fall for you and warm the bed with you. I despise women like you who sleep around with men just for fun...you...." He stopped taking a breath after raging on me and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Anyways, just stay away from me and you can do whatever you want." He said calmly and went inside the washroom.

Warm tears made their way out again. This world is so unfair. A man can do anything and this world would just momentarily hate him but if a woman commits a mistake she'll be hated for eternity.

That monster just ignored everything about his despicable deeds and trampled all over me.

He is indeed a monster and I hate him. Although I'm glad that I won't be touched by his filthy hands. This is how I'll live my life everyday now.

Ya Allah, give me strength....

_____________________________________

Sorry for the delay.