The nikkah was a small intimate affair with very few people close to them. It was arranged in the back lawn of Shehryar's residence. Safa was dressed in an offwhite Garara delicately embroidered with intricate work. Her hair came flowing over her shoulder and her face was slapped with light makeup, just enough to enhance her beauty and not hide her actual features. Azlan had donned a Sherwani of matching color which complemented her dress perfectly. It was a daylight white themed wedding.

White floral curtain was drawn between them as they sat on opposite sides. The afternoon sun was warm and the greenery surrounding them freshened the atmosphere.

Everything was going smoothly but then the Imaam finally asked for her consent to the marriage and that was the hit moment for her. She was getting married. Again. But this time to the love of her life? The feeling itself was hard to believe, but then it was fleeting as well because now it had been replaced by fear. The fear of getting married.

The fear of trusting yet another man.

And then, the fear of falling in love.

Loving someone makes you weak and she couldn't fall weak again. She couldn't put her trust in someone again only to have it broken yet again. What had she done? She should've never said yes. Oh, I was so foolish. She wanted to run away. She clenched her dupatta in her hands as they went clammy. Her throat felt dry and silence fell over. The bride wasn't saying yes and no one knew what to do.

Waliya put a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, Api."

Asmara also looked at her and gave a slight nod. Raina exchanged glance with Arham and Sameena held onto Mr. Shehryar.

Meanwhile a lone tear gathered on the brim of Azlan's eye. This wasn't something he hadn't anticipated. He'd be lying if he said he didn't. He had even iterated the whole scenario in his mind a thousand times and had readied himself a gazillion times to walk away from her life quietly if something like this happened. If she wasn't comfortable, he wouldn't urge her. He'd just simply let her go.

To love is to let go. They say. But not always. Sometimes you don't let your love go. Sometimes you fight for it. Because you know your love is safe with you and you with them. Love is complicated but it doesn't always have to be. Letting someone go before even trying to clarify their doubts and their reservations? What kind of love is that? Mighty or just simply not real and true enough? You claim you love someone? You make sure to reassure them and do everything in your power to keep them in your life if it's not harming them. It's easy to let someone go. It's not to work on reassuring them to keep them. She was a pack full of anxiety, doubts, and fears. Letting her go was easy and convenient. Inviting her in his life with all her fears where he'd have to work on them every day with her wasn't. But he loved her with every challenge that came along so he wouldn't lose her to them either. He'd fight for her.

He'd fight for his love.

So he stood up and drawing the curtain away, kneeled right before her. Her face was cast downward as she tried not to look at him out of guilt.

"Hey, look at me." His voice was soft, so soft it melted right in her ears and her heart skipped a beat.

She moved her gaze towards him and her hold on her dupatta loosened.

"It's okay." He said as he held her hands. "You want time, you'll get time. You want to go over your decision again and think it through? We'll postpone the wedding and will only have it when you are absolutely sure and comfortable. If you're having doubts and fears, we'll communicate and figure out how we can work on it and fix it."

He ran soothing circles on the back of her hands.

"And please wipe that guilty look away." He said nonchalantly, making it look like it was completely normal to cancel weddings just like that. "The Nikkah might not be happening today but you're still a bride. My bride to be precise. And I want my bride to be happy because trust me, Hayat, I might seem harsh, but I'm actually a pretty decent guy who surely doesn't deserve to witness his bride crying just because she's getting married to him..."

"Qubool hai (I do)."

She said, looking right in his eyes. She was getting married to her protector. Her guardian angel. She had nothing to be afraid of.

"You know, Hayat, you really have to stop giving me shocks like that while I'm in the middle of speaking." He laughed.

The 'Qabool Hai' then reverberated through the premises five more times as they accepted each other in their lives, finally starting their journey together.

As husband and wife.

As one.

******

The night had fallen and the event had been wrapped up, but the house was still buzzing with laughter and delight. Dinner had been served and now it was time for tea. Safa felt exhausted so she excused herself and stood up to go to her room.

Their room.

"Wait. Let me come and take you." Raina said as she put the cup aside.

"What, now that I'm a bride suddenly I'm getting protocol?" She smiled. "I can go on my own. It's alright. You enjoy your tea."

"You've always gotten protocol in this house and you will keep getting that. And besides, today is your big day."

"Alright, then." She laughed as Raina and Asmara came towards her.

The room was decorated with white lilies as the scent lingered around in every nook. The light was dim, giving an orange-ish glow.

"Is there anything that you need, Bhabhi?" Raina asked once they had settled Safa on the bed, stressing on the last word. Her eyes glinted with mischief.

Safa laughed at the endearment and shook her head. She just wanted to rest.

Once they left the room, she leaned against the headrest and rested her head back as she closed her eyes. Few minutes had passed when her phone pinged. It was a message from Azlan.

"I won't come to the room if you don't want me to."

She smiled and texted back.

"You can."

As she was putting the phone to the side, her eyes fell on a red rose peeking out from behind the pillow adjacent to her. And that was it. All the horrid memories started rushing back with full force. The rose. The color. Him. The three letters scribbled on her back. She jumped off the bed and tried regaining her breaths but couldn't. She struggled for air and threw the windows open. The fresh air rushed in and swatted her face but did nothing to help.

She tore the dupatta off her head and her hair fell on both sides of her face. Her entire body started sweating. One second she'd feel extremely hot, and the very next extremely cold. She wanted to rip the blouse as well but her hands couldn't reach to zip on her back. She slid down and dropped herself on the corner.

"This is what you are, Hafsa darling! A thorn."

She put her hands on ears to stop the voices. He was right. She was nothing but a thorn. First in her father's life. So he threw her away. Then in his life. So he threw her away as well.

And now she was a thorn in Azlan's life, and he'll do the same. He'll throw her away as well.

The creak of the door alarmed her and in just a second a figure was kneeled right before her.

"Hayat..." He held her gently.

"You're gonna leave me, aren't you?" She coraked as she looked at him. The makeup had been washed away from her face as her body raked with tears.

"No. Never. Why would you say that?" He wiped her tears away while she gasped for air.

"I...I can't breathe, Azlan." She clutched his shoulder tightly.

He rubbed her back gently.

"Take long breaths. I'm here. Nothing is going to happen to you. You are safe."

"I need air."

He put a hand on the zip of her blouse but then stopped.

"Do it, please." She could barely speak.

Nodding he pulled the zip down and the blouse flapped to the side, revealing three letters embedded on the top of her back, just a few inches below her neck.

T H O

His eyes widened as he stared at them in disbelief. They were crimson and stark. Slowly he lifted his hand and slithered his fingers over the letter. She closed her eyes. His touch was soothing, washing away the years of pain.

"That haraami."

That was the first time he had ever profaned in front of her. Anger coiled up in every nerve, but no, he couldn't let it take him over. He had to calm her down first.

He reached for the jug filled with water and poured it into the glass. Extending it towards her mouth, he urged her to drink and she gulped two to three sips, her hands quavering on top of his. Putting the glass aside, he pushed her hair back and cupped her face.

"He is not here. I am." He assured her.

"You'll fall out of love."

"Can a person forget how to breathe?"

"Life with me won't be easy."

"As long as it is with you, I don't care about anything else."

The shivering was coming to a still now. She moved into his arms and he enveloped them around in his protective cocoon.

"You just witnessed what happened to me on just the night of our wedding. Will you be able to bear with it for the rest of your life?"

"I witnessed it before I even proposed to you, did that stop me from marrying you?"

She nestled more into him and took a long breath.

"Hayat, when I married you, I didn't just marry the good and calm side of yours. I married your darkest side too. I didn't fall in love with only half of you, but a complete Safa Hayat. I love every side of yours equally. Even the challenges that come with you."

She just stayed quiet, nuzzling him. Everything was falling back in place. She was safe. She felt secure in his arms.

"What happened though?" He asked after a few minutes.

She pulled away and pointed towards the red rose on the bed.

"I strictly told the decorator to use white lilies only. This must have gotten mixed up with them. I'm so sorry, Hayat." He shook his head as he stood up and walked to the bed. Picking the rose, he went inside the washroom and flushed it away.

Once back, he held Safa from the shoulders and made her stand up.

"You should freshen up and then sleep. It's been a long and exhausting day."

She nodded but then stopped. He looked at her with a questioning look.

"Quick question."

"Yes?"

"Why do you call me Hayat? Why not Safa just like everyone else does?"

He smiled as he tucked the strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Because you are my Hayat."

Her heart stopped for a second, and then she smiled back, throwing herself in his arms again.

And just like that, Safa Hayat and Azlan Shehryar built their house out of the ashes of their past. They picked their broken pieces and stuck them together to build their home.

It was a House of Ashes.

But it was their home in true essence because it reflected them and everything they'd been through. Separately and together.

Some ashes are meant to heal you and theirs were healing each other. They were each other's respite.

And they were each other's home.

******

A/N

Did my baby book just end??? It's such a bitter sweet feeling and right now I feel so empty. This book gave me so much love. I'm gonna be completely honest. When I first started writing this book, I had very low expectations but the first chapter alone recieved so much love and appreciation that it left me in awe.

Still I was skeptical if it would make a mark but then a very close friend of mine told me it would reach places. I didn't believe her back then but now that I look at it, each of her word was right and it came true. HOA attracted many readers, received so much love, and I couldn't thank you guys enough for giving it a shot. I hope it lived up to your expectations.

As for the epilogue, I'll publish it soon. But before that, click on the next part and read some facts about HOA.

Love y'all.

Mifs.