There come moments in our lives when everything gets jumbled up. Nothing makes sense anymore. Life decides to take the reins to itself and ruins everything just to fix it for us because we've not been doing a really good job at it.

For Asmara Zanjani, this was exactly that moment.

She smiled meekly as she looked at the mirror, the reflection in which looking back at her with an identical smile. Donned in pastel pishwas with slight embroidery and a net duppata placed delicately on her head, she looked ethereal.

The course of events that had followed hadn't given her any time to shop for her Nikkah. Not that she was complaining. She wasn't, not even in the slightest. Because what did it matter that the attire wasn't exactly according to the event when the heart was content and the happiness was peaking through every fiber of her body, the brightness of which was outdoing everything else around?

Her ensemble had specifically been picked out by Safa which Kashana had wholeheartedly approved. Asmara didn't care much about it. She was going to get married to the love of her life. Something she could never imagine would happen, but here she was, with her heart swooning and only positive vibes engulfing her. So her whole focus was on that only. There wasn't an inch of agitation to her.

Surely, the happiest brides are the prettiest.

Her reverie of thoughts broke as the knob of the door turned against its own accord and she turned around. A very beaming Safa had come and stood right in front of her with a Gajra in her hand.

Asmara eyed it and then raised her eyebrow at Safa.

"Arham asked me to give this to use." She said, flashing it in front of her with a toothy grin..

Gajray.

The starting point of their love which she thought was going to wilt just like those Gajrays had when she had thrown them in the trash bin that day.

Now blooming more than ever. Something she didn't think was possible.

A tear gathered itself on the brim of her eye as her mind ventured back to last night.

."

******

The Nikkah had been done without any complications. Asmara's sisters however hadn't been able to attend the wedding due to obvious reasons and even though they were still salty about it but they did understand the plight.

Arham Nawaz and Asmara Zanjani were officially husband and wife. Finally.

The abnormal thing in this wedding, however, was that the bride wasn't going to leave with her groom as of yet. But again, nothing about this wedding was normal anyway.

They were still looking for suitable buyers for the house and an apartment. Once Kashana, Ammara, and Annara would be settled in the apartment, only then were the newly wedded couple was to take the leave for their home.

"Can't believe my best friend is married." Safa exclaimed as she put a morsel of Biryani in her mouth. None of them had eaten anything since the other day and had been running on empty stomachs. Needless to say, they were very much famished right now.

"To the best man in the world." Arham, who was sitting across from her at the dining table, decided to add, as he put Biryani in Asmara's plate. She thanked him.

"Narcissist you mean."

"Was talking about myself. Not you." He said taking a sip of water.

Safa rolled her eyes and they landed directly on Azlan whose were already set on hers. Goosebumps rose through her as he furtively looked away as if caught stealing something.

"What?" She whispered.

He shook his head, playing with the contents of the plate with his fork. She scowled.

"What?" This time she whisper-yelled, eyeing the other two who were busy talking to each other.

Leaving the fork he turned his head toward her, the intensity of his gaze set her insides on fire but she contained herself.

"You look really beautiful today." There was a boyish touch to his light smile which was soon wiped away.

"What do you mean? I don't look beautiful everyday?" She threw a challenging look his way and he suddenly straightened up.

Whaaaat?

The smile had now morphed into confusion which didn't take much time to turn into fright.

The other two were also attentive towards them now.

"What? No. That's not what I meant." He swiveled in his seat. Suddenly he wasn't very famished now.

"Then what did you mean, Azlan Shehryar?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I.." He looked sideways to construct words but it seemed even they were not on his side today.

"Please tell me you won't turn into this crazy woman sitting right in front of us too." Arham accosted Asmara as he pointed his spoon towards Safa's direction.

"She won't. One crazy is enough in marriage." Safa smiled plastic, then turned towards Azlan who was running crimson. The smile turned into a laugh as she hunched forward.

"Look at you, I was just kidding." She said through the guffaws and he released the breath of relief he had been holding back.

"This wasn't funny." He shook his head.

"Looking at this face of yours which seems like you've seen a ghost, yes it was." She said and even though Azlan was quite offended right now, a smile still managed to conjure up on his face.

"And you're right. I did look good today. 10 points to Gryffindor for your accurate analysis."

"And I'm the narcissist here."

"Shut up, you sleazy slytherin!"

The banter went on until they were done with their lunch.

The only moment of normalcy during this entire ordeal.

******

With his connections, soon enough Azlan had finally found a suitable buyer for the house. He knew the family personally so from there on everything was a cakewalk. Having good rapport with Azlan, the family bought the house soon after having the tour, knowing there was no chance Azlan would deceive them. Though Kashana's heart ached at selling a memento of her late husband he built solely for his wife and his kids, desperate times call for desperate measures. And they were desperate. Besides, the purpose of that house was to save them from the Zanjani clan, but now the situation had changed and they were surely not secure in that house anymore.

"I don't know how to thank you." The silence pervaded throughout the black canvas broke by Safa's voice.

"You don't have to." Azlan who had his hand shoved in his jeans announced as he kept the pace with her, his face downcast in contemplation. "And about the apartment. I know someone who can help us with that so that won't be a hassle either."

"Of course you do." She said through her smile which faltered when she saw Azlan climbing one step on the mountain, then extending his hand towards her. She frowned quizzically.

"There is something I need to ask you."

She raised a perfect eyebrow. "And you can't ask me here, in the ground?" She was clearly not amused.

"I can." He scratched the back of his head. "But I just feel like asking it here. I just want mountains to hold witness."

"Sorry, not sorry, but I won't just climb this mountain because you're feeling," she used air quotes on feeling. "like it."

He chuckled which then transformed to a diabolical smirk. "Don't tell me you are scared of mountains."

Safa who was standing with her hands folded on her chest fumed up. "No, I'm not." Her approach was defensive.

He was right. She was scared of mountains. But he didn't need to know that.

"Damn, you so are." He laughed. She didn't like it.

"I. am. not." She enunciated each word, throwing him her deadliest glare as her cheek blushed crimson. But he wasn't taking any of her words.

"Such a liar you are." He narrowed his eyes.

"First you accused me of being scared of mountains. Now, you're accusing me of lying."

God, Safa, you are a lil petite liar. Her inner voice reminded her but she was quick to shut it out.

"Alright, then show me." He folded his hands on his chest with his head held high which she wanted to rip off right now. Quite literally.

"I don't have to prove anything." She rolled her eyes.

"Of course! One can't prove something if they don't have it in the first place."

She was double offended now.

Gearing up, she took a step forward. He instantly extended his hand towards her which she ignored royally and put her feet on the step.

Ya Allah, save my self-respect. Please! She mumbled under her breath putting a hand on the surface for support.

She released a breath of relief once she was standing right in front of him. Putting her hands on the sides of her stomach, she held her head high in pride.

"See?" She gloated.

"Well, I'll have to say I'm impressed."

"Doesn't matter." She gave him the phoniest of smiles. He chortled as he sat down, Safa followed suit, sitting just beside him.

He ran a hand over his pocket to check one last time and sure enough, the box was there.

It was time.

"Now will you tell me what it is?" She still wasn't pleased. He took a deep breath.

"What I'm gonna ask you right now, just know, whatever your answer will be, I'll respect it no matter what."

It was the way he said it that made Safa's heart thump and suddenly the air around had tightened.

"Okayyyy?" She was confused.

And terrified.

But not more than him.

Because his entire life depended on just this one answer of hers.

"All my life I had been nothing but a dark hole. I lost people in my life. I lost the one person I loved most in this world." He commenced, taking her off guard. She was bewildered, not knowing where he was going with it. "But then one fine night I got lucky enough to find mom. She gave me the family I didn't think I'd ever have. I found a father in dad. A sister in Raina. A brother in Arham. They became the most important people in my life. The ones I could call my own. But still that darkness never left me. There was something amiss. The void inside me never got filled. And then I found you. I wanted to inflict every last drop of pain on you." He looked at her with forlorn expressions settled on his face and agony in his eyes but the expressions of the woman sitting in front of him didn't flinch. Her whole focus was on him which gave him the courage to go on.

"I wanted to hurt you badly, so badly you would lose your will to live, and finally..." he paused as he looked away. He couldn't look her in the eyes. Not right now. They were daunting and held horrors of his actions. He cursed himself. "...and finally kill yourself." He closed his eyes and beads of scalding liquids emerged on the lashes. The words themselves snaked around him as they pierced through every pore of his being. The aching memory of him finding Safa on the floor and blood spilled all over came back to his mind in full force and he squeezed his eyes some more.

Steadily she moved her hand and put it over his. Her skin was chilly but the impact was warm as the contact made him release the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I'm listening."

The contours of her voice fluttered his eyes open as they swiveled towards her. He sniffed, reeling in the feel of her touch.

"But that cold night seeing you lying there and thinking that I had lost you I realized killing you only meant killing my own self. I don't know how I survived that night not knowing if I'll ever get to see you again or not. I had just found you and I thought I was going to lose you again. It scared me out of my wits, seeing you covered with blood. I felt a dark cloud of death looming over me and your memories flashing across my eyes. Your laughs, your comebacks. Your angry glares reserved for me only. The way you care for people around you, it all made me realize you were more than just Safa Hayat. For me, you were my whole world. I couldn't afford to lose you again."

Her stomach churned at the last sentence as the sheen appeared in her eyes, too, mirroring his red rimmed ones.

"That's why when you asked me to never show my face to you again, I obliged and went away. I promised myself I'd never come in front of you because not having you with me was better than not having you at all. I could survive without you in my life, but I couldn't survive without you in this world."

She moved her hand away from above of his and slipped it underneath it, intertwining her svelte fingers with his stout ones. Her warmth was now dissolving inside of him and he took a minute before proceeding further to fill himself with the feel of her radiance and taste of her being.

"By finding you I found myself, Hayat. I had come in your life for your destruction but you became my redemption. My will to live. With you, that darkness became bearable. No, it didn't vanish like they say in those romance books. But with you it did become tolerable. I knew I could fight it with you by my side, because you became the light I had always craved. Before I was just surviving, but with you the idea of living didn't seem so impossible and bland anymore. You became my salvation. You perfectly filled the void inside of me because our pain is shared. Our grief is the same. We are two broken souls hanging from the same thread. Life is not all rainbows and sunshine but with you it won't be dark either. It will still have its fair share of challenges but with you, overcoming them won't be that difficult."

Their hold on each other tightened but that was the last one because what he was about to say next was going to break that hold. Forever or not? That was yet to be discovered.

He craned his head in her direction.

"Safa Hayat, will you marry me?"

The card had been drawn. The Pandora box had been opened.

"Not because I need you, but because I love you."

His hopeful yet scared eyes bored into her shocking ones and that was it. The hold they were just thriving in had loosened, the hand had opened, slid back and suddenly the warmth that was there before wasn't there anymore. The space had gone bone chilling cold in a matter of mere seconds and so had had his world. A deafening havoc wreaked inside of him as the air became too difficult to breathe in. His legs had given up on him and he didn't know if he would ever be able to move or hear what was coming his way.

But nothing came.

And that hurt more.

She had gotten up and was now fisting the sides of her kameez. Out of all the things she was expecting, this wasn't in the least. She tried constructing words but felt tongue tied. It was as if someone had poured poison in her throat which was now slitting it slowly, marveling at the destruction of something so pure and so unreachable. She shook her head in defeat and skipped down, taking a step back.

He was on his feet too now but wasn't sure if they had enough strength to move but strength itself came when she moved backward, and he towards her. Because when your beloved is leaving even deathbed can't stop the lover from going after their love.

But what they don't know is when love decides to leave, it is for not to return.

"Hayat..."

He drawled, his voice a mere whisper as it submerged in the air, the mountains bowing down in sorrow as they had just witnessed the love blooming a few minutes back and now burning down into ashes.

Still no words. She didn't respond. Hot tears were rolling down her cheeks but she didn't speak. She couldn't. She was hurled in the web of what ifs. There was neither resignation to her expressions nor acceptance. The only thing he could see on her face was horror. Utter horror.

The first sleet of the snow fell, but he didn't move his gaze from her, neither did she. Their eyes were locked into each other as the snow kept descending on them. But somehow the ice wasn't as cold as they were feeling from inside.

She took another step back. And then another. And before he knew it she was out of sight. She had run away. From him. From their love. From herself.

And what left behind was the receding echo of their found yet lost love.

The space which was filled with her presence a second back was now empty and so was the void inside him. He looked at the place with longing in his eyes. He couldn't believe he had once again lost the most important thing in his life.

Azlan Shehryar had once again lost the most important person in his life as life laughed in his face.

Their love was in shambles. Their souls on fire, the ashes of which were the last remnants of what they almost had.

Almost.

Or maybe even that almost was never theirs to even begin with.

******

A/N