مشکلیں مجھ پر پڑیں اتنی کہ آساں ہو گئیں

Mushkilien mujh par pari itni k asaan hogayien

The clouds roared against the otherwise quiet and peaceful surrounding. Black and dark, the clouds mimicked the life of a nomad who was leaned against the window, looking too keenly at the inexorable havoc that was about to unleash, knowing there was nothing he could do about it. Knowing all too well it was out of his hands.

It had been two weeks since Safa had gone missing, and now everyone had started going back to their usual routines. This is the reality of life. You leave and people­ forget you as they carry on with their lives. And all that is left of you is an echo.

A mere memory.

That, too, being faded away.

But even that fading memory leaves a permanent imprint on people close to you, people who love you.

Even though, everyone was back to their lives, their hearts still yearned for her – Asmara's for her best friend; Arham's for the sister he never had; Raina's for a known stranger who became a part of her family in no time; Sameena and Shehryar's for the girl they treated like their own daughter; children's of the village for their second mother.

And his? Just for the mere presence of her.

He had his team search all the girl's hostels in the country, the hotels, NGOs, villages, and basically every place he thought she could go to. But to their dismay, she was nowhere. It was as if the earth had swallowed her. Asmara was also doing everything in her power to find her best friend but in vain.

Safa Hayat had vanished into thin air.

And Azlan Shehryar was the cause of it.

He was the rain to her sun.

The cold and harsh drops tumbled down slowly and gradually on the deserted road, taking their time to create the chaos. The lane of the Capital was silent and devoid of any passerby with everyone taking shelter in their homes for the thunderstorm that was about to ensue.

With his legs crossed and arms wounded on his hard chest, he watched the sight calmly. The façade of calmness hiding the turmoil storming inside him. A drop pattered on the window and he touched it with his finger, tracing it down.

She hated rain.

It all but brought the excruciating memory back as the dreadful sight of her lying on the cold ground flashed across his eyes. Back then it had brought him immense joy to lock her in the roof. But today? Today it shattered him into smithereens. It was too harrowing to even think about the pain she must've gone through. And him being the cause of it. Always.

Azlan Shehryar was the cause of Safa Hayat's agony.

And he hated himself for that.

Even loathe was a small word for what he was feeling for himself.

"Bhai, come, dinner's ready." Raina's voice pulled him out of his reverie.

She could still see the hurt in his eyes. They were agitated with anguish floating in those black depths. No matter what she did to cheer him up, the shades of darkness would never leave him. Even though he had been managing pretty well to put up an act of happiness, the sadness and agony that lied beneath weren't hidden from his family including his best friend.

Putting up a smile, he put his arm around Raina and headed towards the dinning-room, without uttering a single word.

"So how was the movie?" Shehryar asked as he shoveled into the rice, seated on one end of the table. Raina had taken Azlan to the movies today to cheer him up, but to no avail. Every resident of Shehryar House was in grief for the loss of both Ayyan and Safa. But there was one soul brutally affected by all of it. And they were trying to do everything in their power to bring him back to life which he seemed to have stopped living.

"You don't ask." She narrowed her eyes.

"That bad?" Sameena raised an eyebrow.

"Abysmal, I'd say." She let out. "The female lead went through so much at the hands of her loved ones without having any clue about it, and when everything was revealed, she legit moved on with her life without confronting her perpetrators. I mean who the hell does that?" She almost squealed. "How can you move on with your life without getting your closure, especially when the betrayal comes from your own people, the people you loved? Anyone in her place would have confronted and asked as to why they did what they did, just for their own sanity, you know..."

Her words were left hanging in her mouth at the sudden clank of spoon against the plate. With his mouth agape and face flushed, he was staring at Raina as if he had seen a ghost.

"Everything alright, bachey?" Shehryar asked.

"Ithnkimayhvjsfndhr." He mumbled, his mouth suddenly dry.

"WHAT?" Raina looked at him with her eyes scrunched in confusion. "Could you speak up please? We have ears of a normal size."

He took a heavy gulp as he craned his head towards her.

"I think I may have just found her."

"Wait...WHAT?" Raina's eyes widened as both Shehrayar and Sameena gaped at him in bafflement. "You mean Safa?" She yelled on top of her lungs, her happiness knowing no bounds.

"Raina, bachey, calm down! Don't get happy over nothing as for the moment." Shehryar tried making her see sense before turning towards Azlan. "What do you mean?"

"Closure." He shot up on his feet with a jolt. "She needed closure."

All three of them exchanged glances at each other in utter bewilderment and turned towards him to ask for clarity but before they could, he was out of the dinning-room, climbing up the stairs to his room.

Within seconds he was downstairs. With his feet caged in joggers and coat slinging on the back with his hand, he hurried towards the key holder with long strides.

"Azlan, where are you going? How do you know where she is?" Sameena reached him.

"I don't know where she is, but I do know someone who might." He opened the door and without listening any further, scampered out.

******

"You sure you've searched every place she could go to?" Asmara paced along the lake with phone tucked to her ear.

"Yes, I'm sure." Arham's voice boomed through the phone and she could detect he was exhausted.

"Ya Allah!" She rasped as she dropped down beside the lake. "Where has she gone? Why did you do it, Safa?" She looked at the starry sky as the memories of her trying to count the stars with Safa replayed in her head.

A long silence followed and he could hear her sharp breaths. Too heavy. He could feel the pain hidden in them. And there in that moment he wanted nothing more than to just hug her, to assuage her, to tell her everything would be alright. She was hurting and he hated how there was nothing he could do about it.

He missed Safa just as much she did. That woman had become such an important part of his life in just a few days. She was like a sister he never had. Crazy. Empathetic. Resilient. Rebellious. She was a whole package. He loved her for her sassiness and no nonsense attitude. He loved how she could make his boss run on his toes. Azlan Shehryar, on whose fingers the entire business industry was wrapped, was completely wrapped around her fingers and none of the fools knew.

"Hey..." He chirped, breaking the silence. "Don't be sad. You know I can't see you like that."

There was so much truth and helplessness in his tone, she could sense it. She ran a tongue over her dry lips. She had vowed not to talk to this man ever again but circumstances would somehow always end them up together. He was the only person she could talk for consolation and even though it was wrong, it somehow felt right.

"We'll find her, okay? We'll never stop searching unless she's with us again, alright?" He reassured and she nodded before disconnecting the call.

If only Safa Hayat knew how many people loved her and were doing everything in their power to find her!

She was one lucky woman and she didn't even know it yet.

******

The black Land Cruiser ran through the motorway not caring about the slippery road. The downpour was still going on in full torrents but all he could care about was finally getting the chance to see her. He knew he shouldn't let his hopes get too high but he couldn't help it. Just the thought of getting a chance to see her was enough to make him giddy. Ruffling a hand through his hair, he sent a silent prayer that this time he does find her.

By the time he reached Lahore, it was already 2:30 AM. Navigating his way through ample houses in the lane, he finally stopped in front of one particular house. He knew he shouldn't be disturbing them at this hour of the night, but he didn't give two flying hoots about those heartless pricks. They could go to hell for all he cared. Holding up his hand in fist, he banged the door harshly. Finally after a few minutes, the door flung open and stood in front, Ameen Hashmi - Safa Hayat aka Hafsa Ameen's father.

He looked at the visitor in confusion with grogginess when his eyes finally dilated in recognition.

"Saif. You're Saif, right?" He asked, his voice drowsy.

In his search of Hafsa Ameen when Azlan had come to him to interrogate two years ago, Saif was the name he introduced himself with. He had told him he was one of Hafsa's old college friends and that he wanted to invite her for the reunion the classmates were holding. But Ameen Hashmi had no idea of her whereabouts. He did know about Saqibs' death, but that was it. He himself had tried searching for her but in vain. He was a feeble man, he didn't have much connections like Azlan to pull, so he gave up.

That day, Azlan Shehryar had come in search for Hafsa Ameen. But today, he had come in search for Safa Hayat.

This was the last place on earth that he could have thought she'd go to. He knew she hated them. How could she not? They were her criminals and everyone hates their criminals. Especially when betrayal comes from the people you trust the most. He knew it because he'd been through it.

It is always the last person you expect that hurts you the most. And they both were familiar with the feeling. Very much.

"What are you doing here? You still haven't found her?" He looked weak, his cheekbones jutting out, dark circles under his eyes prominent.

"She came here, didn't she?" His voice lingered with hope and Saqib Ameen was no fool. He could see the depth in those eyes for his daughter while he drawled.

A long pause ensued, hanging on Azlan's head like a honed knife. He didn't know if he even wanted the answer to his question. He was afraid. What if he said no, robbing him of the last flicker of hope? He murmured as much prayers as he could, holding his breath when Ameen Hashmi finally broke the heavy silence.

"She did."

******

After pouring her heart out to her Rabb, and leaving the Mosque, she came straight to the annex. She had already decided to leave this place which had turned out to be another hell for her. She couldn't live here anymore, not with him being there. Azlan Shehryar had robbed her of her life and to say she hated him for that would be an understatement.

That exact night she had come face to face with the feelings she possessed for that man, the feelings that were burnt down in the deepest corners of her soul, that same night she was robbed of them. Again. The irony! Why was it that she always ended up trusting wrong people? Why was it that life always had to play the cruelest of games with her?

If she could, she would remove his chapter from her life forever. She would wipe his entire being from her existence because it freaking hurt. So damn much.

Sprawled on the couch, she was drinking water when Asmara's curious glances finally got the best of her.

"What?" She yelped. Her face was flushed, eyes rimmed red, hair a mess as a few strands stuck out of the dupatta set on her head and framed around her face.

"Where's your cashmere?" She knew her best friend well enough to not give into her questions directly. She knew she'd stretch it to a completely different angle and she needed to grapple her in a way she couldn't make any excuse out of it.

Moving her head sideways, she threw glances at her shoulders. She remembered throwing it off in his bed to attend to his wounds.

"I was sitting by the lake and took it off for a while to enjoy the wind, but it somehow ended up falling in the water." She lied without any hesitation as if she was pro at it which she was.

Safa Hayat had mastered the art of lying to protect herself.

Asmara gaped at her, knowing too well she was lying. She knew she couldn't beat this woman so she got direct.

"What happened?" Her voice was soft, laced with care, as she came and sat beside her.

"Nothing. Why would you ask such an absurd question?" She tore her gaze away. She didn't have it in her to face her. Not when she was at the brink of sanity. When she was on the verge of breaking­ down...again. She was barely keeping her pieces together. She couldn't lose herself again. She had to be strong which she already was, and she knew it. Thanks to her amazing life!

"Because I want to know whose bones I need to break." She said in no nonsense tone, making Safa chuckle a bit. "Alright, I won't pester you with questions if you are not comfortable answering them. But I just want you to know that I'm always here for you, okay? You can always share with me. I will neither judge you nor will I ever tell on you."

Safa looked at her with a small smile gracing her plump lips. "I know. I'm just exhausted. That's it."

She pulled her in a warmth embrace, longer than Asmara could have anticipated, for this was the last time she was hugging her best friend and she wanted to devour it wholly.

She was going to miss her so much. Her heart broke a bit more.

******

Lahore wasn't just a city for her. For her, it was her whole world. A world where she was born. A world where she was brought up. A world where she lost her mother to cancer. A world where she lost her father to money. A world where she lost herself to the beasts it held.

Traumatizing. Aching. A plethora of dreadful memories.

But she had to face it. She never thought she'd come here again. She never wanted to. She couldn't bring herself together to look in the eyes of the man who sold her. A man who was supposed to protect her.

But she had to do it, no matter how much it would hurt. She needed to get her closure. She had always spent her life wondering as to why he did what he did. To ask him if she was only worth just a few bucks for him. To ask him if his heart didn't, even for a second, waver to sell her like that. How could he send his own progeny to hell with his own damn hands?

She had had enough of all of it. She needed to move on. And to do that, she needed to confront the people who did her wrong. She needed answers to all these questions always lingering in her head so they could stop bothering her once and for all, doesn't matter the pain that'd come with it. She had already endured so much of it. She had gotten pretty used to the feeling. It had become a part of hers now. She had learned how to live with it.

Standing in front of the house that robbed her of her childhood, her innocence, her life, wasn't easy. And yet here she was, standing on the side of all too familiar lane. The light wind wafted through her nostrils, making her choke. Even the air of this city reeked with the atrocities of her past. She had covered her face with the hem of her dupatta as one hand held it on the other side of the face. She didn't want anyone to recognize her. She neither wanted their sympathies nor their laughs at her fateful life. No, thank you very much!

Closing her eyes shut to gather strength, she opened them a few seconds later and rang the doorbell. After a few minutes of constant ringing when the door still didn't open, sharp lines of frown materialized on her forehead. She rose on her toes to peek inside when a voice from behind her startled her and she turned around.

"Baaji (sister), what are you doing? No one lives here." A man in his almost thirties divulged.

"What?" She scowled, her heart sinking.

"Yes. See, there's a lock there!" He pointed towards the huge lock sitting on the gate. She smacked herself mentally for being so dumb.

The man was just about to go when she called after him. "Umm...do you, by any chance, know where they went?"

The man shook his head. "I'm afraid, I don't. I just moved here a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh okay." Her face fell with despondency as her voice dropped a notch.

"You can ask around if you want. I'm sure someone would know." He suggested.

"Wow, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of it?" She let out in annoyance, her face straight, not even a hint of mirth in her eyes. But the guy seemed to have taken offence in her tone.

"Maybe because you weren't even sighted enough to see that humongous lock on the gate either." He quipped before leaving. She didn't even have enough strength left in her to roll her eyes at him let alone throw a snide remark back. Damn, you, Azlan Shehryar!

After interrogating for half an hour, she finally got the information she needed. Typing the address away on the phone – the first thing she had bought the moment she left her heaven – she finally headed towards the said place: her hell.

******

In this heat and traffic she thought it was impossible to reach there. But she had to do it. She had finally gathered enough strength to take the plunge after what felt like eons. She couldn't back out now, because she knew if she did, she would never be able to muster that strength again.

It was a now or never moment for her.

After three hours of struggling and sweating in the traffic, she finally arrived at the designated address. The sun was almost succumbing to the horizon behind, the streaks of which brushed against her flushed out face. She was petrified to death as her heart thudded mercilessly against her ribcage, her back ramrod.

Was coming here even a good idea?

No, she couldn't even let her brain contemplate on those lines. She had to do it someday anyway. Better be now and just get done with it. Trembling, she held her hand up to ring the doorbell but stopped just when she was about to. Her breaths were coming in intervals. She felt suffocated standing in that vast area.

The house looked well-furnished even from outside. It was quite bigger than the previous one. So this is how she was worth! A humorless chuckle escaped her mouth as she scanned the place with agonizing eyes filled with water of rage and betrayal. She wanted to burn this house down and devour on the ashes that snatched everything away from her and turned her entire being into ashes.

She was still immersed in her thoughts, when someone opened the door from inside.

It was him.

Her father.

Her once favorite person on this earth.

Now her criminal.

She stopped breathing as her spine constricted. The ball of saliva got stuck somewhere in her throat as she felt coal slitting it. It took everything in her to not let the scalding liquid fall from her eyes. No way she was going to cry in front of her perpetrator!

"AsSalamuAlaikum, do you need anything?" He arched his eyebrow.