and

*

The next morning was too sunny. Too bright.

Too fucking loud.

Y/N groaned as she opened her eyes to have the sunlight gleaming through the window scorching in her eyes. She threw the covers off her chest and looked to her right.

She's not alone.

Obviously Pansy is asleep as always. But who the fuck is that next to her? She squinted and narrowed her head to see who it was.

Theodore Nott.

In bed with Pansy.

That's where they've been going.

She decided not to say anything as Y/N guessed they wanted to keep that a secret, so she shuffled to the bathroom to get ready.

Y/N did her usual routine of taking a brush through her hair, going for a shower and getting dressed in her usual Slytherin robes. At the beginning of the term, she always used to make sure she looked pristine, not a hair out the place. But who fucking cares anymore, waking up hungover every morning couldn't be masked with a dainty bow in her hair.

She slumped her way down the common room stairs and made her way to the Great Hall. As she was walking, she saw George in the distance, walking towards her.

Fuck. He's gonna come shout at me. Let's just get this over with.

"Y/N" George cooed from the distance, and he started walking towards her.

"H-hi George" She muttered. He was now stood in front of her.

"Hi. Erm look I just wanted to say sorry for loosing it yesterday. It wasn't cool." George swished his long hair out of his face.

"Oh. Oh er no it's okay, it doesn't matter George I deserved it." Y/N felt guilty so she did deserve getting told she wasn't worth it.

Because she didn't feel worth anything at this point.

"Well, what you did wasn't okay. I mean, Fred was going on about you for weeks and he thought you felt the same I just-

He sighed and rubbed his face in his hands.

"Just sort it with him will you? He's been a soppy git for weeks."

"Yeah of course I will. It was shitty for me to use him to get at Dra-

Saying his name made y/n flinch. She remembered their conversation early this morning by the fire.

"Just leave it y/n. Speak to Fred, Ron's calmed down so just, just sort it out." George gave a small smile and shrugged.

"Okay." She whispered holding back tears once again.

George walked off just leaving Y/N there upset, but I guess it was still early days and she hadn't even spoke to Fred yet.

*

A little later on in the day after a few lessons, y/n sat by herself in the court yard and rehearsed about a dozen times what she was going to say to Draco. Something along the lines of 'I miss you' 'I don't care that you can't be seen with me'

'I promise I want you.'

She should be thinking about what she was going to say to Fred, but he could wait. Draco and y/n's conversation last night was replaying in her head all day, and it made her palms sweaty and her temple pulsate.

Y/N sighed and dropped her head in her hands leant over. She had to try hide the tears that were starting to slide down her face.

"Bloodstone?"

She jumped and looked up with bloodshot eyes at the lad infront of her.

"Theo."

Theo slumped on the bench next to her.

"What the fuck is with all this crying?"

"I spoke to Dra-. I spoke to, Draco, last night after you left and he said he couldn't be seen with me anymore, obviously because of Umbridge but I need him Theo. I really fucking need him" Y/N was now sobbing.

Theo stroked away the fallen tears and looked at her with concern.

"Then stop being a little hufflepuff and talk to him" Theo said.

Y/N gulped and nodded.

"Yeah I know. Should I go find him?"

"Finally she gets it! Yes, go be all Gryffindor and confess your dying love to him" Theo joked.

"On the subject of love, are you in love with anyone at the moment?" Y/N looked up at Theo, she knew the answer, she saw the answer this morning.

"Quite the nosy type aren't you?"

Silence.

"No. No there's nobody I'm hopelessly devoted to at the moment. Why ask?" Theo wondered.

"Just asking."

He didn't want to talk about Pansy, and that's okay. She'll find out more soon enough.

"Go get him then instead of sat here like a pathetic hufflepuff."

She giggled, gave him a peck on the cheek and stood up.

I need to find Draco. I need him back.

Y/N started walking towards the common room. He's got to be there with Blaise or something. Her pace quickened, eager to finally talk to him. It's now or never, the end to this pathetic wondering. She has to tell him whilst she's got the guts.

Practically running though quiet halls, she could hear her heart thudding in her rib cage.

Then she stopped, she stopped as soon as she saw him.

Draco, was outside the common room.

But, he wasn't alone. He was stood against the wall with his arms around...

Pansy Parkinson.

Kissing her. She had her arms flung around his neck as they kissed, and she was giggling.

Y/N's heart fell on the floor. She blinked a few times, making sure what she was seeing was right.

Yep, pretty fucking right.

Tears started clouding her vision, and she could taste the bile scratching her throat. Y/N turned on her heel to the nearest girl's bathroom.

She coughed up the bile in her throat and the rest of her stomach content. The water fosset made a screeching noise as she frantically turned it on and splashed her face with freezing water.

Her breathing quickened, she felt as if she was going to pass out. Or scream. She looked at the mirror in front of her.

Her mascara was down her face, her lips were bleeding, her eyes were so empty.

Y/N couldn't even recognise herself. Her life the past few weeks had consisted of drinking. And drinking.

But no amount of firewhiskey was going to numb the painful thud in her heart.

That's why Draco didn't want to be seen with her.